[ turning down for what... for evil. i mean, it's not wrong.
everything was so much less complicated yesterday when he had no idea what was happening or if he was waiting for death. now everyone is the hero in their own story and thinking about justifying what they do. is that how people think? is that how people understand it?
he doesn't think about the negotiators in the mining colony.
that's a lie. he does. he thinks about it instantly, and "it's hard to justify it if you don't think you're the one in the right" sticks itself to the memory like a fresh coat of paint. shifts the world off-track, leaves behind the feeling of living a foot to the left of himself.
reaching up to run his thumb over the edges of the ring, finn thinks-- something was wrong, there, and he only really has the authority to decide that what was wrong was him. just something inside him, too big for the first order, too small for anywhere else, no idea how to make it break down into something that could just fit and work.
he was the only one who couldn't fit. ]
You're probably right.
[ he still can't justify it. he doesn't think he'll ever be able to. maybe he was never supposed to even think about justifying it, and he was just supposed to pull the trigger and move on.
so poe probably is right about this. it doesn't seem like too horrible a betrayal to acknowledge that. ]
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everything was so much less complicated yesterday when he had no idea what was happening or if he was waiting for death. now everyone is the hero in their own story and thinking about justifying what they do. is that how people think? is that how people understand it?
he doesn't think about the negotiators in the mining colony.
that's a lie. he does. he thinks about it instantly, and "it's hard to justify it if you don't think you're the one in the right" sticks itself to the memory like a fresh coat of paint. shifts the world off-track, leaves behind the feeling of living a foot to the left of himself.
reaching up to run his thumb over the edges of the ring, finn thinks-- something was wrong, there, and he only really has the authority to decide that what was wrong was him. just something inside him, too big for the first order, too small for anywhere else, no idea how to make it break down into something that could just fit and work.
he was the only one who couldn't fit. ]
You're probably right.
[ he still can't justify it. he doesn't think he'll ever be able to. maybe he was never supposed to even think about justifying it, and he was just supposed to pull the trigger and move on.
so poe probably is right about this. it doesn't seem like too horrible a betrayal to acknowledge that. ]