There's no fighting the First Order! [ poe you ignorant, equally unstable in different ways, slut. ] And if there is, I don't want to! I don't want it, I don't want you to do it for me!

[ he wrangles the chain back off from around his neck and tries to kinda just push that back onto poe. there you go buddy if my hands are shaking it's only because i'm so excited to give this back to you. ]

Look, I'm not your friend. I'm not whatever you think I am, I'm not a person, I don't want this. I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you think-- because I'm not. And I don't care if it's real, it doesn't matter, I w--

[ the words die before they can get out. that feels worse. he squeezes his eyes shut and screws up his face and makes himself try again. ]

I want to go back.

[ does it sound remotely like a true thing and not something that makes him feel sick? no. his voice kind of broke. but it doesn't matter what he doesn't really want. that's the point. it's the first order: it's what he's gonna get. and maybe it's still enough, maybe the fact that he tried and made himself say it, maybe it'll count for something. prove he learned his lesson, prove that they don't have to put him back in reconditioning because he knows better. they can fix him, they can--

they can stop this now, if it's not real. they can punish him for it if it is, and he won't do it again even if he lives through that punishment. ]

I want it to stop.

[ he wants everything to make sense again. ]