[ WOW poe's big mood is feeling emotionally conflicted that his crush got brainwashed with a secondary mood being feeling guilty/responsible due to Not Being There. that train can take the scenic route. just "do you have a boyfriend? a cute boyfriend?" might give him an aneurysm.
time to look down at the hand pile contemplatively. he didn't bounce these thoughts off anyone (i.e., bb-8, who else would he even??), so he has no idea how any of this sounds to anyone who isn't him.
gentle disbelief is good, right? as far as the finn reaction spectrum goes. that seems to be a pretty steady baseline. ]
Yeah. Maybe it's not the best plan, but it's the one I've got. I know it's gonna be safe there. That way, you know, like I said. I don't want you to feel like you've gotta fight if you don't want to. Or worry about being a liability. That way, if I wanna go back, I can go back.
[ those words, his own words, sound weird to him. he had a lot of time to think about how not great being lost and directionless feels. of course he should go back. why is this even up for debate? his (real) mom would slap him for even thinking of standing by and doing nothing when the galaxy needs him.
but he already made the choice. finn already asked him what would happen if finn didn't want to go back, and he said he'd stay with him. was it wrong to go back on that, even if he figured out a workaround? what kind of person was he if he already made a choice like that and then tried to take it back?
it wasn't like he'd forgotten what the consequences would be, either. with no contact since he left, maybe everyone figured he was dead by now. went off and got himself killed with his typical brand of brave stupidity. if he did go back, he was hoping that would soften things. in the sense that everyone would be so happy he's still alive, he wouldn't get demoted quite so many ranks. ]
And then if I do go back and you don't, you won't be alone. I know my dad won't let anything happen to you.
[ has he thought about what a fun conversation literally any of this with kes dameron is going to be? no. well, he got as far as "he will not be happy that i decided to abandon my principles and go awol," but not to the part where he'd have to be like "but i did it for this stormtrooper i kidnapped who is now wearing mom's ring and is clearly working through some trauma right now, if i go back to my principles you will have to carry on my h/c fanfic without me."
however, he comes from two selfless yeets, so he's betting for the best outcome on this one. ]
no subject
time to look down at the hand pile contemplatively. he didn't bounce these thoughts off anyone (i.e., bb-8, who else would he even??), so he has no idea how any of this sounds to anyone who isn't him.
gentle disbelief is good, right? as far as the finn reaction spectrum goes. that seems to be a pretty steady baseline. ]
Yeah. Maybe it's not the best plan, but it's the one I've got. I know it's gonna be safe there. That way, you know, like I said. I don't want you to feel like you've gotta fight if you don't want to. Or worry about being a liability. That way, if I wanna go back, I can go back.
[ those words, his own words, sound weird to him. he had a lot of time to think about how not great being lost and directionless feels. of course he should go back. why is this even up for debate? his (real) mom would slap him for even thinking of standing by and doing nothing when the galaxy needs him.
but he already made the choice. finn already asked him what would happen if finn didn't want to go back, and he said he'd stay with him. was it wrong to go back on that, even if he figured out a workaround? what kind of person was he if he already made a choice like that and then tried to take it back?
it wasn't like he'd forgotten what the consequences would be, either. with no contact since he left, maybe everyone figured he was dead by now. went off and got himself killed with his typical brand of brave stupidity. if he did go back, he was hoping that would soften things. in the sense that everyone would be so happy he's still alive, he wouldn't get demoted quite so many ranks. ]
And then if I do go back and you don't, you won't be alone. I know my dad won't let anything happen to you.
[ has he thought about what a fun conversation literally any of this with kes dameron is going to be? no. well, he got as far as "he will not be happy that i decided to abandon my principles and go awol," but not to the part where he'd have to be like "but i did it for this stormtrooper i kidnapped who is now wearing mom's ring and is clearly working through some trauma right now, if i go back to my principles you will have to carry on my h/c fanfic without me."
however, he comes from two selfless yeets, so he's betting for the best outcome on this one. ]