[ there's the fear again, crawling up his throat. he tries to push it down like before. keep with his anger. but it's harder and harder. the fear keeps growing, getting louder, leaving the anger to dissipate. building from the second she starts pulling him closer, reaching a kind of precipice when she's done speaking. and he's left hanging over the precipice, trying desperately to claw his way back up.
but he can't. he can't lie anymore — not because of the force, either. he can't lie to himself anymore. he knows he can't fight it. he's tried. tried and lost, as if there could have been any other outcome. ]
I'd rather die.
[ for someone who isn't actively suicidal, he keeps turning to death as the solution for his problems. but ... after so long, it keeps feeling more and more like it may be the only solution. the only way he can get out while still holding on to his sense of self.
his body isn't locked in place by the force, he realizes. he could struggle against her, run away. but to where? he'd never make it to a shuttle. he'd never make it out of this room. he felt paralyzed by something else. the same thing that's keeping his heart racing and his breathing shallow. it's that fear taking over, relenting to the knowledge that she's right. ]
no subject
but he can't. he can't lie anymore — not because of the force, either. he can't lie to himself anymore. he knows he can't fight it. he's tried. tried and lost, as if there could have been any other outcome. ]
I'd rather die.
[ for someone who isn't actively suicidal, he keeps turning to death as the solution for his problems. but ... after so long, it keeps feeling more and more like it may be the only solution. the only way he can get out while still holding on to his sense of self.
his body isn't locked in place by the force, he realizes. he could struggle against her, run away. but to where? he'd never make it to a shuttle. he'd never make it out of this room. he felt paralyzed by something else. the same thing that's keeping his heart racing and his breathing shallow. it's that fear taking over, relenting to the knowledge that she's right. ]