[ her verbal encouragement makes it worse. her voice ringing in his ears — he knew it couldn't be the force. it was just her. him making her feel that way. her actually needing him. he tries to get the hang of breathing; it's more complicated than sucking dick. it's a nose situation but also he has to push hard enough with his tongue to get her to move and create a .005-second window for him to breathe.
but he can do it. he wants to do it. he can almost forget it's awful thanks to his newfound sense of control over her.
almost. because while she's intensely feeling all his ministrations, he's fighting his own personal battle. maybe while she's in the throes of passion, she won't notice if one hand ... slides away from her hip ... down to his pants. he's not going to unzip or unbutton. that would be admitting defeat. maybe he can get away with this. this being rubbing himself through his clothing. he can't even think about ruining his pants. ruining his pants is worth avoiding the humiliation of the admission that he got turned on enough to jerk one out in front of her. ]
no subject
but he can do it. he wants to do it. he can almost forget it's awful thanks to his newfound sense of control over her.
almost. because while she's intensely feeling all his ministrations, he's fighting his own personal battle. maybe while she's in the throes of passion, she won't notice if one hand ... slides away from her hip ... down to his pants. he's not going to unzip or unbutton. that would be admitting defeat. maybe he can get away with this. this being rubbing himself through his clothing. he can't even think about ruining his pants. ruining his pants is worth avoiding the humiliation of the admission that he got turned on enough to jerk one out in front of her. ]