[ the time alone is never really any easier than the time spent in her presence. instead of actively being in pain and turmoil, he has to spend his time constantly on edge for the shoe to drop. for her to show up to inflict more pain, or to deliver news that he knew he'd probably never be ready to hear. (his resistance being destroyed. because it was his. his as much as anything. and whatever happened to it ... the darker part of himself didn't hesitate to point out that it would be because of him.)
as the holding cells fill up, all the captured rebels feel like a weight crushing his chest. these were people who relied on him to give them hope. and here ... now ... he didn't feel like he could. too much of the light was smashed out of him. all broken and fractured. who could look to that? for all his fighting, he couldn't even save himself. he keeps his distance, stays quiet. it hurts to do it, but the thought of leading them into a fool's errand hurt more. it's like he learned something after all.
that said, it's not until he's struggling against the knights trying to pull him towards the chains that he realizes there is still fight in him. enough fight to save one person, because she's barely more than a child and she's good. she didn't deserve any of this. ]
Leave her alone! Hey! Leave her out of this! I thought we had something special.
no subject
as the holding cells fill up, all the captured rebels feel like a weight crushing his chest. these were people who relied on him to give them hope. and here ... now ... he didn't feel like he could. too much of the light was smashed out of him. all broken and fractured. who could look to that? for all his fighting, he couldn't even save himself. he keeps his distance, stays quiet. it hurts to do it, but the thought of leading them into a fool's errand hurt more. it's like he learned something after all.
that said, it's not until he's struggling against the knights trying to pull him towards the chains that he realizes there is still fight in him. enough fight to save one person, because she's barely more than a child and she's good. she didn't deserve any of this. ]
Leave her alone! Hey! Leave her out of this! I thought we had something special.