[ rey and rose planning their own badass rescue: where tf is poe we need him on this. anyway this absolutely has to be cheating somehow. with the touching, and the eye contact, and the entire-- the dumb gentle promising. this is unfair, and it leaves fn-2187 feeling a lot of things that he doesn't want to unpack.
he's not supposed to be this scared. ]
The fact that I can is the whole problem.
[ HE CAN'T EVEN MURDER INTRUDERS RIGHT, IT'S NO WONDER HE'S IN HERE. he should've taken this guy's blaster and just dealt with him by now.
they are literally going to die if he agrees to this. if he tries to leave, he'll die. he doesn't have a singular doubt about that.
but if phasma wanted him put to use, he'd be back in training. if he can't be trusted to go back into the field, they'll drag him in front of a crowd of troopers and shove him back in here again like a mascot as desired, or they'll skip the trouble and get rid of him one of these days. stormtroopers are disposable. he knows that, he's always been disposable.
... god he's gonna end up doing this, isn't he. he has no idea where they're trying to go or where poe came from or how it's even remotely supposed to succeed. he's sitting on a big fat ball of interwoven terror and what might be hope (sounds fake but ok).
but he's never thought about getting to choose how he dies before. and he's oddly okay with that prospect right now? there aren't a lot of options, and they all end basically the same way. but they are still options. that's like. okay. he wants-- he doesn't know. he wants something.
he runs a shaking hand over his face and feels about as much like there's something wrong with him as he ever has before. his tone bears the shadow of a familiar argument-going-downhill-towards-surrender quality. ]
no subject
he's not supposed to be this scared. ]
The fact that I can is the whole problem.
[ HE CAN'T EVEN MURDER INTRUDERS RIGHT, IT'S NO WONDER HE'S IN HERE. he should've taken this guy's blaster and just dealt with him by now.
they are literally going to die if he agrees to this. if he tries to leave, he'll die. he doesn't have a singular doubt about that.
but if phasma wanted him put to use, he'd be back in training. if he can't be trusted to go back into the field, they'll drag him in front of a crowd of troopers and shove him back in here again like a mascot as desired, or they'll skip the trouble and get rid of him one of these days. stormtroopers are disposable. he knows that, he's always been disposable.
... god he's gonna end up doing this, isn't he. he has no idea where they're trying to go or where poe came from or how it's even remotely supposed to succeed. he's sitting on a big fat ball of interwoven terror and what might be hope (sounds fake but ok).
but he's never thought about getting to choose how he dies before. and he's oddly okay with that prospect right now? there aren't a lot of options, and they all end basically the same way. but they are still options. that's like. okay. he wants-- he doesn't know. he wants something.
he runs a shaking hand over his face and feels about as much like there's something wrong with him as he ever has before. his tone bears the shadow of a familiar argument-going-downhill-towards-surrender quality. ]
Shit.
[ ahhhhh, eloquence, ]