[ she bites down on a whole lot of various feelings at that point. she doesn't want to spew them all over him because (a) it sounds self-pitying and (b) it doesn't change that, yes, he is upset too and that is valid. but she just keeps cycling between 'i managed to get off of jakku without doing this' and 'i had just barely gotten close to someone for the first time in my life and now i'm losing my choice to this.' ]
no subject
I know.
I'm sorry. I'm just afraid.