[ as one might imagine, poe is just chillin' in his room when finn shows up from... literally one door over, probably. laying in bed with his blackout curtains up (because vampires can get hangovers, apparently?? news to him...) doom scrolling on his lil blackberry and unable to scrub the idea of finn being dead out of his mind. poe was the one always doing dramatic shit and dying and/or almost dying from it. finn was more sturdy, on that beautiful pedestal poe has placed him on.
he doesn't even exert the energy to sit up, just puts his blackberry down beside him. his head wants to split open, let the ground rise up and swallow him whole tbh. ]
[ It's pretty plain to see that Poe doesn't feel so good after his four to five drinks, even if Finn couldn't feel echoes of his discomfort. Not that he realizes it's more than intuition but- Yeah, anyway.
He speaks softly and gently shuts the door, walking in until he can sit and lean over to press a kiss to Poe's forehead. ] How do you feel?
[ that said, he appreciates the forehead kiss. he vaguely grabs at finn and tries to pull him down so they can lay together sleepover style. ]
How are you? I'm not the one who died.
[ and he hates saying it out loud. he hates replaying that image in his head, over and over. hates revisiting that feeling of helplessness stabbing into him like an ice pick. he would drink another five vampire four lokos to forget about it, but the first attempt had clearly been unsuccessful. ]
[ And Finn hates that Poe brings it up, but more for Poe's sake than his own. Maybe he does want to talk about it, after all.
For the moment, Finn lays down and just gets his arms around his boyfriend, holding him close and ignoring that alcohol smell on him. ]
I'm... okay. [ Mostly. Sort of. Actually, he's just been kind of ignoring his problems lately?? Sorta bottling them up and pretending they're not there and he's totally fine, because that's healthy. ] I'm alive, so-...
I'm fine. [ It's insistent but only because he's trying to convince himself. But... he knows it's bullshit, too. ]
Poe- It's-... You know what it's like. [ And he really really hates that thought. ] I don't know what to think about it... And that kid-
[ He hadn't checked in with Jason yet. Fuck. Anyway. He sighs and hides his face in Poe's neck. ]
I don't want you to worry either, but I worry about you all the time. Telling you to stop is... hypocritical or something. But this is all I need. I'm okay... We're okay.
[ poe, thinking with his galaxy brain: oh good we're not going to talk about how i almost killed "that kid." maybe we can pretend it never happened. 😬💦 okay just kidding he knows it will probably come up eventually, especially if finn plans on checking up on jason. but he can at least postpone it tonight. ]
You don't have to worry about me. Not with that. [ that's why he became a vampire. another thing he doesn't want to say out loud. (not because he doesn't want to give finn Ideas; he sees it as one of the dumber decisions he's made in his life. but he might as well accept the benefits?) ]
I know we're okay. [ well, he knows now. (still worried about the jason thing.) ] But if you feel not-okay, you can tell me, right? ... I mean, about dying. But relationship stuff, too.
[ don't mind him, just sticking his foot progressively further in his mouth...]
[ It's the vampire thing that he does worry about, actually. Not just the side-effects (needing blood to drink, can't so much as look at sunlight, etc.), but the mental implications that must go along with it, all those things that Poe just... doesn't talk about. Those things Finn doesn't know how to bring up.
He hugs him a little tighter. ]
I will. I'll try. [ Finn would love to promise but that's... difficult.
But, uh- ] The relationship stuff's pretty good right now, though... Isn't it? [ He pulls away a little to look at him, suddenly worried and with Thoughts that hadn't hit him before. Maybe what happened hurt him too badly. Maybe he doesn't want to be with someone who can just up and die like that- No, shut up, that's not what he said. ]
Yeah! Yeah, of course it’s good. [ he’s quick to reassure, if only because of his now increasing fear that finn will die again and yeet himself away forever. (this one-day death may have affected him more than he’d like to admit.) ]
I was just trying to say … you know. You can talk to me. I’ve been bad at that before. Talking.
[ Finn allows a little smile, his relationship worries more or less evaporating thanks to Poe being so quick to reassure. It's still going to nag at him, though, how easily he could hurt Poe like that, how it could happen again.
But these are things he doesn't say when he probably should, mostly because... well-
He shakes his head, voice quiet while he threads their fingers together. ] You're not. You're easy to talk to, in my opinion. I just... don't know what to say... It's like it's too much to think about, you know?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ as one might imagine, poe is just chillin' in his room when finn shows up from... literally one door over, probably. laying in bed with his blackout curtains up (because vampires can get hangovers, apparently?? news to him...) doom scrolling on his lil blackberry and unable to scrub the idea of finn being dead out of his mind. poe was the one always doing dramatic shit and dying and/or almost dying from it. finn was more sturdy, on that beautiful pedestal poe has placed him on.
he doesn't even exert the energy to sit up, just puts his blackberry down beside him. his head wants to split open, let the ground rise up and swallow him whole tbh. ]
Hey, buddy.
no subject
[ It's pretty plain to see that Poe doesn't feel so good after his four to five drinks, even if Finn couldn't feel echoes of his discomfort. Not that he realizes it's more than intuition but- Yeah, anyway.
He speaks softly and gently shuts the door, walking in until he can sit and lean over to press a kiss to Poe's forehead. ] How do you feel?
no subject
[ that said, he appreciates the forehead kiss. he vaguely grabs at finn and tries to pull him down so they can lay together sleepover style. ]
How are you? I'm not the one who died.
[ and he hates saying it out loud. he hates replaying that image in his head, over and over. hates revisiting that feeling of helplessness stabbing into him like an ice pick. he would drink another five vampire four lokos to forget about it, but the first attempt had clearly been unsuccessful. ]
no subject
For the moment, Finn lays down and just gets his arms around his boyfriend, holding him close and ignoring that alcohol smell on him. ]
I'm... okay. [ Mostly. Sort of. Actually, he's just been kind of ignoring his problems lately?? Sorta bottling them up and pretending they're not there and he's totally fine, because that's healthy. ] I'm alive, so-...
More worried about you right now, I guess.
no subject
I can't stop thinking about it, you know? When I died, it really messed me up. I don't want that for you. Or to worry about you.
[ his brilliant life hack was to get too drunk to worry about anything. it failed. ]
no subject
Poe- It's-... You know what it's like. [ And he really really hates that thought. ] I don't know what to think about it... And that kid-
[ He hadn't checked in with Jason yet. Fuck. Anyway. He sighs and hides his face in Poe's neck. ]
I don't want you to worry either, but I worry about you all the time. Telling you to stop is... hypocritical or something. But this is all I need. I'm okay... We're okay.
no subject
You don't have to worry about me. Not with that. [ that's why he became a vampire. another thing he doesn't want to say out loud. (not because he doesn't want to give finn Ideas; he sees it as one of the dumber decisions he's made in his life. but he might as well accept the benefits?) ]
I know we're okay. [ well, he knows now. (still worried about the jason thing.) ] But if you feel not-okay, you can tell me, right? ... I mean, about dying. But relationship stuff, too.
[ don't mind him, just sticking his foot progressively further in his mouth...]
no subject
He hugs him a little tighter. ]
I will. I'll try. [ Finn would love to promise but that's... difficult.
But, uh- ] The relationship stuff's pretty good right now, though... Isn't it? [ He pulls away a little to look at him, suddenly worried and with Thoughts that hadn't hit him before. Maybe what happened hurt him too badly. Maybe he doesn't want to be with someone who can just up and die like that- No, shut up, that's not what he said. ]
no subject
I was just trying to say … you know. You can talk to me. I’ve been bad at that before. Talking.
[ he chuckles at his own expense. ]
Pretty sure I still am right now.
no subject
But these are things he doesn't say when he probably should, mostly because... well-
He shakes his head, voice quiet while he threads their fingers together. ] You're not. You're easy to talk to, in my opinion. I just... don't know what to say... It's like it's too much to think about, you know?