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[followhim]

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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus


★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia


★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Comments

[umbraeternam]

Not in the slightest.

[ She trails her eyes over him, a little smirk twisting her lips, and she steps in close. One of her hands moves to rest on his chest, fingertips drumming over his heart. Almost more a reminder to her than him of that little (in her mind) instance of physical pain she caused him. ]

A plain ol' holding cell is too good for rebel scum like yourself. [ Leaning in closer, what he would likely find uncomfortably close, her voice lowers to a more predatory tone as her eyes stay on his. ] The interrogation room will be a vacation compared to what I'm going to do to you, Dameron. Our time before was cut so short. I didn't get to have any fun.

[ Kylo tilts her head, leaning in to speak in his ear, her breath fanning his skin. ] You already know that I can take anything I want from you. I can have whatever I want and you can't stop me. Think about that while you have some time to yourself. Getting inside your mind is only the beginning.

[ Stepping back then, she gestures for the troopers to take him away. It would take some time to return to where the fleet's flagship was yet being repaired and Kylo wants him to stew in his emotions and mental anguish for a while. She's not concerned in the slightest about the Resistance trying to save him; he's valuable but that doesn't make it any less of a fool's errand. Of course, if someone were that foolish she would happily make time to break down someone else in the Resistance. There's more than enough of her brand of pain to go around. ]

[bythehand]

[ it's not a drill, people, there's another hug happening. finn is okay with that. poe is a... hugging type. finn needs more data before he figures out if he's a hugging type personally, or if he's more like a hug-exactly-one-person type.

the idea of hugs from other people sounds weird. a lot of stuff sounds weird, though.

"okay. i won't." is an easy thing to doubt. for all that it's not an outright promise, it carries the weight of one. pretty much anything in the galaxy, external or internal, could swoop in and make it moot. the first order could kick their way in right now somehow and make this a murder party. poe could change his mind. it could be that the second he 100% feels a trust and capitalizes on it, it'll turn out someone was only waiting for the most prime opportunity to ruin everything. it'll all mysteriously go up in smoke and phasma will be there like "fam you are making this a million times worse on yourself than it has to be".

but consider: finn is tired, and poe really is the most important thing that he has. the most important thing that found him. whatever. at a certain point he runs up into his own brick wall of bullshit so much that he doesn't even bother registering it for a while.

so he hugs poe back even though it's a weird position, because he also knows how to commit to sparkle motion. ]

[followhim]

[ her plan to remind him of how much pain she just caused him pans out. just the attention makes his heart skip a beat (in the bad way), an ache that had barely subsided coming back. ]

I don't think we have the same idea about fun.

[ he snaps back with the only thing he knows how to say. and that's all there is. his brain can't manage a reply to the next thing, with both her breath and her words sending a shiver down his spine. this was bad. he didn't want to think about what was going to come after getting inside his mind. he didn't even want to be inside his mind right now.

he struggles against the troopers in his sad limp way before being taken to interrogation. at that point, it doesn't matter whether or not the stunning wore off, since he's busy wallowing. that objective of her plan is complete. but not even for himself, not really. as always, his mind turns towards the resistance. the resistance and bb-8. all those things he couldn't save. ]

[umbraeternam]

[ Kylo doesn't so much as walk past the interrogation room during the journey back to the Supremacy. There are more important things for her to attend to, like seeing if they managed to track any of the fleeing ships or checking on how things were going with his droid. All that information she would certainly comb through herself, along with having a few officers document everything. Sifting through the Resistance-focused data she'd mostly leave to the officers. The personal information would really only be of value to her, though she'd likely have someone categorize it for her. As much as she might want to dive right into it, there was no rush. The prisoner certainly wasn't going anywhere.

At one point between tending to various matters, she pulls General Hux aside. It had taken a little while but Kylo managed to put a fearful respect in the General similar to what he'd held for Snoke. The past few battles he performed above expectation and she felt that deserved a little reward. Positive reinforcement mixed with a test, not that the man would be aware of the latter. Might the General care to have a few minutes with the pilot who so embarrassed him previously? Her smirk at the way he responds never makes it to her face, and she sends him on his way with a Knight trailing after. While she's fine with Hux roughing Poe up, that's all she was allowing. If anyone was going to be inflicting serious pain on him, it would be her and her alone.

When it comes time to head over to the flagship, she's already on board the shuttle by the time troopers bring Poe to the ship. Glancing up from the report she's looking over, her eyes do a quick sweep of him. She knew things hadn't gotten out of hand thanks to her Knight, though she also knew Hux would have been all too happy to kill the other man if she would only allow it. (Which was never happening but the General could dream.) ]

It looks like someone paid you a little visit.

[followhim]

[ all the hugging makes him feel more secure in his decision, okay. sometimes you need something solid and tangible to remember why you're doing questionable things that some people might even go as far to describe as insane. it's good. it's worth it. everything is worth it.

he pulls away when he's had his fill (for the moment), it's time to broach something that he avoided when finn ran away (which was actually kind of a relief literally only in that sense), but it's time now. here it is. he swallows before speaking. ]


I don't really know if it's the right time for it, but I'm tired. Probably gonna sleep. I'm not trying to kick you out, though. You can stay.

[ he would like for him to stay. it might be a bad idea, but he wants it anyway. ]

[bythehand]

I don't know if it's the wrong time.

[ so yeah, he gets it. for all they know it's like 3am. or 3pm. but at this point any sleep that either of them tries to get is pretty much a depression nap. therefore time doesn't matter anymore.

welcome to finn town 2.0 where thinking about boundaries has become just as useless as personal space. he doesn't even bother. sounds legit to him. ]

I'll stay. [ it's too quiet out there. if he gets in on the depression nap action, which he's presently debating, it's not gonna be all that restful without some sounds from Any Other Living Person. might as well go all in. ] It's fine. Better to sleep while you can.

[ give him ten seconds to realize he's still actively holding hands like otters and that that probably gets in the way of any person managing to lie down. tbh. he's thinking about it even less than the idea of personal space. ]

[followhim]

[ that much is true. he's loyal to her, he couldn't imagine leaving her the way han did. the way brianna did. as much as he was always rebelling against her in favor of his own stupid ideas about tactic and strategy, he was loyal to not only leia's vision, but leia as a person.

even holdo had called him on it. told him follow orders if he wanted to serve the resistance, or take bedpan duty if he wanted to serve a princess. (he hadn't of course, but the words still burned.)

standing again, now with renewed vigor, he brushes her assessment off. kylo — brianna — was getting too close. ]

Is analyzing me part of the torture this time?

[followhim]

[ he's unsure of what to make of that. like, is finn agreeing to go to sleep, too? is he going to watch over him while he sleeps just in case other junkyard vagabonds try to invade their ship? because they have bb-8 for that. only one way to find out, and that's by not asking at all and seeing what happens.

he peels away fully (which is the worst sensation, honestly — going from the warm sensation of human contact back to cold and empty air), to trying to rearrange himself around finn. because why would he ask him to get up either, i guess. he couldn't possibly do that. instead, he moves back until he can get his entire body on the bed without kicking finn in the face, then moves further back until he's against the wall. these are not smooth gymnast-like moves, either. but he manages.

the bed, realistically, is twin bed-sized. maybe slightly bigger than a twin. either way what i'm trying to say here is that there is not going to be a lot of room for space jesus during this depression nap. ]

I think there's enough room. There's enough room, right?

[ he sure is an optimist. the very thirsty optimist, an adult book by eric carle. ]

[umbraeternam]

[ There's actually a touch of surprise in her eyes at his remark. As if she'd let herself relax a little, fallen in to the kind of space she occupied when she talked with Rey. Well, back when they were talking and she'd thought Rey... it didn't matter. Not anymore.

Kylo's gaze hardens slightly, her eyes narrowing at the corners. ]

Tact really isn't one of your strong suits, is it?

[ She steps away from him and looks to the door, the Knight stepping in within moments. ] You can take him back now, we're done here.

[ The moment, whatever it was, is gone now. She did what she intended, which was to finally let Poe in on her little plan. All the rest... she would shove down and bury, as she needed to. Pretend like the past didn't bother her and like she didn't yet care about her mother.

She could almost hear Snoke's voice in her head, chastising her for the weakness, and that bothers her the most out of everything. That even now she couldn't get away from that creature. From anything. The past, her past self, anything.

All it took was bringing up her mother for Poe to get out of her things she hadn't spoken about with anyone else. That was unacceptable. She couldn't, wouldn't allow it to happen again. ]

[followhim]

[ he looks surprised, which is foolish on his own part. she got too close to his emotional center — just like he had with her — he lashed out, and now he was being punished for it. he didn't mean for that to happen. he'd been trying so hard at the idea of leveling with her, forming some kind of bond so that maybe she could change ...

and then he blew it. in typical dameron fashion.

what could he say? sorry? not here. not in front of her knight(s). anger rises up in him — anger at himself for his own stupid mouth. ]

Come on!

[ yeah, he's got nothing. ]

[umbraeternam]

[ Kylo shoots him a look that still isn't half as irritated as it should be. Although she fleetingly feels reminded of Han with his behavior, and that does help encourage the walls to be built back up.

No verbal response comes, just a dismissive gesture of one hand as she turns away, once more returning to the window and looking out space. What she actually wants to do is leave the room, but like hell she's going to give Poe the satisfaction of one more example of how much the conversation got under her skin. Not that it likely mattered when her emotions had been on such display but it mattered to her. Where the pilot had his bravado and attitude, she had her own armor in need of replacing.

The Knight, for their part, doesn't seem to care about what had been taking place in the room. Or the fact that the prisoner was really no worse for wear. They just take Poe by the arm and make to leave the room, and leave Kylo to her thoughts. ]

[followhim]

[ that moment where you're acting like han solo but in the worst way at the worst time. (han would still be proud, probably. )

but that's neither here nor there as he's being carted off. he glances back, trying to get one last look at her and see where he'd managed to land emotionally, but her back is already turned. he makes an attempt at jerking away from the knights, but he knows that it's useless before he even starts.

stars. why did he say that??? why did he buy himself a one-way ticket back to his cold, empty cell? just what he wanted: more time to mull over his thoughts. ]

[followhim]

[ hux. in a normal situation, no blasters, just fists against fists, poe could have taken hux. maybe he was smaller, but he had better reflexes. had been in more bar brawls, probably.

but, of course, that was not the situation here. here he was trapped on an interrogation rack with no way to fight back. maybe he should have been grateful that this had just been a warm-up compared to the use of an actual interrogation droid, more of a small, petty act on hux's part, but that didn't take away the blood or the bruises.

he was sporting a bloody nose, a black eye blooming into existence from the seeming attempt to break his nose, and a hint of blood glinting out of his mouth. he was still in one piece, though. clearly hux was toeing the line of "rough him up." ]

He wasn't a good visitor.

[ thats all he has to say at the moment. short and blunt. possibly from pain. ]

didn't think i'd have a reply for this till tomorrow but inspiration struck

[umbraeternam]

[ Kylo isn't avoiding Poe. Of course not, that would be a ridiculous notion. (Or is it?) There were plenty of ways she could have chosen to punish him for causing her pain and making her seem weak. The solitude is justified, again, as a dash of psychological torture. A way to break him down a bit without doing anything that would require healing -- if he was going to be one of her Knights than physical harm was best limited lest it impact his performance down the line.

Except it might be easier to believe she's not going out of her way to stay away if she hadn't seen fit to go over to the Supremacy a day or two after their surprisingly in-depth conversation.

The distraction works. Everyone's far too happy to show her how much progress they've been making, both with regards to repairs to the ship and rebuilding the fleet. There's yet a ways to go but even she's pleased with how far things have come.

She's walking through the completely renovated throne room -- too many bad (horrible, painful, anguish-ridden) memories contained in the space for her to even entertain fixing it back to how Snoke had designed it -- when her communicator buzzes. One of the Knights still on the Finalizer. A former Jedi, actually, one of the few who survived her wrath at the Academy. His hurried words send her rushing to the nearest flight deck to return to the other ship.

The pilot was gone from his cell. A trooper was all too easily threatened into confessing that Hux barged in with a handful of stormtroopers to drag the prisoner off while the Knights were changing shifts.

By the time she's back on the Finalizer her fury practically vibrates off the corridors as she strides through the ship. Kylo doesn't need to search, she knows where that bastard will have gone. Furthermore, she can feel the energy that's slowly becoming familiar to her. It's not a Force bond but she's aware of Poe's presence all the same if she chooses to focus on it. A trooper apparently more keen on following the General's orders than hers attempts to block her way to interrogation and she throws them with little effort, not even breaking her stride. ]

You insufferable cur... [ Kylo snarls at Hux as soon as the door to the room slides open, falling back on one of Snoke's favored insults for the general. And as much as she'd love to immediately strike him down with her saber, her gaze shifts to land on Poe, needing to assess his condition first. ]

[umbraeternam]

On the contrary, he behaved just as he was supposed to. [ A small pleased smile curves her lips as she replies. Smug, really. The puppet master happy her puppet obeyed the pulling of his strings.

As the door to the shuttle closes the troopers move to sit him across from her but Kylo clicks her tongue and gives a slight shake of her head. ]

Come, sit beside me. [ The Force backs her words as she speaks to Poe, turning what might be a simple request from someone else into a command, a compulsion to obey. Her eyes follow him, that smug smile lingering on her lips. It's not difficult at all for Kylo to picture him doing anything she tells him to, and it's just one of many things she's looking forward to. The obedience will be enjoyable but almost more so will be the fight. Watching him struggle against himself, against what her power bids him to do.

It could be such delicious torment; looking in someone's eyes to see how much they absolutely didn't want to do something even as the rest of their body betrayed their free will. Kylo knew it to be so because, truthfully? She'd felt a taste of it herself, years ago when her power wasn't half as refined or as powerful as it is now. Brianna had experienced it and it made her sick, and, as with so many things, Kylo took that pain and inflicted it upon others in a twisted sort of vengeance.

Setting aside what she was reading, Kylo turns slightly toward Poe and a gloved hand comes up to rest against the side of his face. Her thumb brushes across his lip, catching the slight bit of blood before she takes her hand away. ]

You should get used to the pain, Dameron. It's going to be a constant friend of yours. [ She doesn't even glance away from him as she licks the smear of blood off her thumb. ] Oh, and I really should thank you for having that droid with you. It's so loaded with information I almost won't need to go digging in your mind again. [ She still would, of course. It just might not be information on the Resistance that she'll be after. ]

[followhim]

[ he hadn't experienced this before, not really. it ranks, along with almost everything else kylo ren has done to him, as one of the worst experiences of his life. he tries to fight against it. his mind screams, tries its best to will his body not to move, but its not listening. he peels away from the rack and moves to sit beside her, as casually as if it were of his own volition.

but it's not.

she's not controlling his face, however -- his expression remains livid with anger. the pain doesn't matter. he can deal with pain, he's taken more than enough of it over the years. the blood dripping down his face, that kind of pain ... it hurts, but it's not unfamiliar. bearable enough.

when her hand touches his face, comes so close to her mouth, he's tempted to bite down. he hesistates, though, and her hand is gone again.

he's not surprised she brings up bb-8. his anguish when they were separated was so intense, a normal person could see how deep the blow struck him. let alone a force-sensitive.

anything he could say would be hollow and useless. it was too late for "leave him alone." it hurt so much. hoping felt stupid, but even if he did escape, if he made his way out and was able to make his way back to the resistance and get back in the seat of an x-wing --

that life without bb-8 felt unimaginable. it had always been him and bb-8. sure, people lost their astromechs all the time, but not him. he shudders with the effort to push down his emotions. ]

That droid was worth more than every piece of tech on this ship.

[umbraeternam]

[ The emotional pain that comes off him in waves is exhilarating to her. Such an easy trigger that barely takes effort to hit, and yet he reacts so strongly to it. Kylo would find it more curious if she hadn't been briefed over just how much data truly was on the droid. Clearly the droid had been a trusted companion. Kept as close as a loved one, if the emotions she picks up from Poe are any indication. ]

Worth that much to you, clearly.

[ Kylo relaxes back against the seat, casually crossing one leg over the other, her easy comfort a sharp contrast to his anguish. ]

Just what might you give to save the droid, I wonder. [ Oh, she'll take what she wants, that's a given at this point. But it was still interesting to her, to see what people were willing to do if presented with the option of saving a loved one from an equally terrible fate. Just how much did Poe care about his precious metal companion? ] It's still fully functional, by the way. The data transfer isn't yet complete. [ And in case he doesn't believe her (as she doubts he would) she reaches down for the tablet she'd been reading, tapping a few things before bringing up the video feed for where BB-8 is. Kylo holds the screen out to show him; the droid might be powered down and well-contained, but its physical condition is as he last saw it and there's no evidence of disassembly to remove the behavior core.

Her gaze is squarely on Poe, expression calm as if she were discussing something far more harmless and mundane. ] How much does its life mean to you, Dameron? Its fate is not yet sealed.

[followhim]

[ he doesn't reply right away. bb-8 is still alive, not reprogrammed. still himself. he saw it. he could see it on the screen. a small tremor of relief passes through him. he wanted the droid to be okay so much. bb-8 didn't deserve anything that was going to happen to him. he wouldn't understand it. and then he wouldn't be anything.

this is a game. it's all some kind of game to kylo ren. he knows it. he knows she expects him to say yes, and that he's going to walk into some kind of trap. it's going to be horrible. excruciating.

but he would regret it more if he didn't. ]

What do you want?

[ he uses this brief time when he has control over his limbs to wipe away the blood from his nose and mouth with his sleeve. and to obscure some of his emotions, maybe. ]

[umbraeternam]

I'm asking, not telling. [ A brow arches ever so slightly, expression otherwise unchanged. ] The droid doesn't have to be destroyed. We can simply take the data and leave the personality in tact. That's what you desire, yes? For your friend to remain as he is.

[ Kylo's actually not entirely opposed to doing as she proposes. The droid itself meant nothing to her; its only value was in its data and its relation to Poe. Releasing it held some use as well. By now the Resistance knew their star pilot was either dead or captured, the droid could confirm their fears. Kylo might even send a personal message with it.

If she did choose to release it. That all depended on Poe.

Feeling the shuttle move, she glances toward the front, speaking as she does so, her eyes shortly returning to him. ]

You have until we reach the Supremacy to decide. What would you give to see your droid released safely? What would you trade for its life?

[followhim]

[ anything.

the answer, of course, was anything. but he didn't want to actually say the word. to just hand over carte blanche for only maker knows what kind of torment.

that said, even if he tried, he wasn't able to parse it down to something less than anything. every attempt he made to draw a line was a failure, completely untrue. it was the same bottomless, selfless kind of love that parents felt for their children, he imagined.

he couldn't put a price on bb-8. wouldn't. in the end, how much was it going to matter what happened to himself, really? ]

Stop toying with me. You already know I'm gonna say anything, I know you do. You just want to hear me say it out loud. Fine. Anything. I'd do anything.

[ some of the intensity of his speech is ruined by how, now that he's speaking in more than clipped words, it's apparent that his possibly broken nose makes him sound congested. ]

[umbraeternam]

[ Oh, I'm going to toy with you until you're well dead. she thinks to herself but doesn't voice or project.

She does purse her lips slightly, a touch amused. Such fervor in him. She'll have to be careful to not extinguish that fire, not until she tires of it, if she tires of it. After all, if she wanted someone easy to beat down she could take her pick from the stormtroopers or lesser officers, but that was only ever entertaining for a short while. ]

What I want is something specific. I can take anything. I want to know what you'll give.

[ It's a game, yes, but that doesn't mean she's not paying attention or his answers don't bear importance. In a way she's giving him a chance to pick his poison, so to speak. Not that she's certain he realizes that. ]

[followhim]

[ well, isn't that a new and exciting quandary he never wanted to be faced with. saying "anything" was easy. bracing himself for whatever horrible thing that might come his way was easy.

having to pick the weapon of his own destruction was less easy.

did he choose too much? if he chose too little, would bb-8 suffer consequences? he didn't want to. he didn't want to have to pick things like "make me go blind" or "make me forget all my friends." he couldn't even wire his brain to think that way. he didn't want to. all he knows is black and white. choosing the most drastic option at all times. (it was going to end this way anyway. maybe he could speed the process along.) ]

My life, then. Kill me. Just get it over with. You're gonna have all the information you need when you're done with BB-8. You don't actually need me for anything. Do it. Send him back to the Resistance so they can know what happened. It'll crush their spirits, just like you want.

[umbraeternam]

[ Kylo huffs out a breath, lightly crossing her arms over her chest. His life, really? That was no fun. She wants to chide that he's not terribly good at playing this game but that would be showing more of her cards than she cared to. ]

You're the only one who wants it 'over with'. To be put out of your misery. [ Which she could do but again, no fun for her.

She narrows her eyes at him slightly but she's not really looking 'at' him, more browsing those surface emotions and fragments of thought. There's nothing particularly of interest to her and she blinks, eyes refocusing on him properly. His answer didn't satisfy her, however now that the idea to send the droid back with a message has been placed in her head she's warmed to it. Yes, that would make the most use of it, much more than outright destruction or reprogramming.

One thing he said does hold her attention though, and she gives voice to it as the shuttle lands on the Supremacy. ]

What makes you think the reason you're alive is so I can take information on the Resistance from you? Because you're right, the droid can supply much more detailed and concise information than your mind can.

[followhim]

[ he's not good at playing this game! what part of him says "poe dameron: torture expert extraordinaire"? his solution to his problems is blowing them up. right now he's just trying to blow up himself as a solution. it's not a good solution, but it's the one he's got.

his eyes shift around, confused. why else would she want him? he never took the time to think about anything else, when what was so obvious to him was just sitting there in plain sight.

you can almost actually see the gears turning. ]

The other thing. Morale. You want to crush their hope by taking out their best pilot.

[umbraeternam]

[ She's surprisingly patient as she looks at him, watches him try to figure out her motivations. Ah, those simple-minded followers of the light. They can't see the trees for the forest sometimes. Kylo supposes she can't blame him. No doubt they were all trained to focus on the war, on the cause above all else. Not all that different from part of the conditioning process for the stormtroopers, really.

A brow arches when his reply comes. It's not wrong, but only a part of her reasoning. ]

Dealing a blow to morale is a good reason, I'll give you that.

[ The shuttle door opens and she lightly pats his cheek before standing. ] Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard. You'll figure it out sooner or later. [ Even if only because at a point there would be no pretense, no coy games. Just the two of them and her twisted, devious mind. ]