[ meanwhile, on this side, who gets 5 seconds to start thinking again and immediately feels the threads holding the lids on multiple freakouts fray away into nothingness? it's this guy. his process is swift and merciless.
1. space is way, way too big. 2. x-wings are way, way too small. 3. they were supposed to like, die. what does he do with this lack of dying? arguably that should be good, but. well. it's not super good when the pièce de résistance goes like:
4. oh god he just fucking left, he's just in a dinged-up ship with some rebel going who knows where and he's gone, and this is the nightmare scenario, even beyond the most basic "buddy that's desertion" standards. on some level, somehow, somewhere, he is firmly aware that this is actively the worst possible thing he could have done, ever. it's bad, it's really, really bad. he should have just let himself think about it while he was still on the ship instead of listening to some dude with nice hair.
(is he happy about this on some deep forbidden level? deeply, intensely relieved? bc he thinks he might be, but realizing that makes it even worse.) ]
Oh, no. [ what the fuck did he just do, he can't take this back and apologize?? this doodle can't be undone??? ] Oh no no nonononono, this is-- we can't--
[ HERE'S A GREAT PARTY TRICK: SIT IN YOUR GUNNER'S SEAT AND IMMEDIATELY START HYPERVENTILATING WHEN WHAT YOU'VE DONE SINKS IN. and maybe crying a little. at a certain point it all really meshes together into one big can of Instant Regrets. ]
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1. space is way, way too big.
2. x-wings are way, way too small.
3. they were supposed to like, die. what does he do with this lack of dying? arguably that should be good, but. well. it's not super good when the pièce de résistance goes like:
4. oh god he just fucking left, he's just in a dinged-up ship with some rebel going who knows where and he's gone, and this is the nightmare scenario, even beyond the most basic "buddy that's desertion" standards. on some level, somehow, somewhere, he is firmly aware that this is actively the worst possible thing he could have done, ever. it's bad, it's really, really bad. he should have just let himself think about it while he was still on the ship instead of listening to some dude with nice hair.
(is he happy about this on some deep forbidden level? deeply, intensely relieved? bc he thinks he might be, but realizing that makes it even worse.) ]
Oh, no. [ what the fuck did he just do, he can't take this back and apologize?? this doodle can't be undone??? ] Oh no no nonononono, this is-- we can't--
[ HERE'S A GREAT PARTY TRICK: SIT IN YOUR GUNNER'S SEAT AND IMMEDIATELY START HYPERVENTILATING WHEN WHAT YOU'VE DONE SINKS IN. and maybe crying a little. at a certain point it all really meshes together into one big can of Instant Regrets. ]