Of course they're bloody telepaths. It leaves Rey feeling weird about talking to Poe because no matter how comfy Scott is with the concept, she knows that Poe has telepath trauma. This world must be as bad for him as Hanabira was for her. Just constantly barraged by his trauma.
She catches him alone while some of the negotiators are working with the vulphytes to get their trust. ]
[it left him a little on edge, to be sure, but he was trying very hard to be okay with it. the vulphytes were innocuously curious, peering into his mind through the window instead of TRYING TO TAKE A CHAINSAW TO THE DOOR. there's some real immersion therapy going on here. maybe. also, the vulphytes are very cute.]
Uh, yeah. [he's taken off-guard by rey approaching him, having been preoccupied with his own thoughts.] It kind of reminds me of home. All the green and everything.
Takodana? Huh ... yeah. I could see that. [he takes a seat with her, contemplative.] Yavin 4 was more like ... more like a jungle, I guess. The trees were different. And it's more humid. But I like this. This is good.
[ She nods, smiling lightly. Agreement. Agreement is good. And it means that he's not as on edge as she'd thought he might be. So, after some quiet time, she says— ]
There's something I need to talk to you about. It's about Thrawn.
[where the edge had softened with their quiet sort of small talk, it sharpens again at the mention of thrawn. i mean, for obvious reasons. he's still kind of low-key depressed and down on himself about the whole situation.]
I spoke with him aboard the Headquarters. [ She grasps her knees in her hands, trying to feel more sturdy in saying this. ] We played cards. And when we did, he confirmed his intentions to me. If we don't stop him, he will return to his timeline and ensure the Empire never falls.
[ Like, he really said that. It's not just Kylo Ren's really logical speculation anymore. ]
He told me it was my fault. [ She shakes her head. ] I felt so stupid, Poe. I gave him so much.
[he sighs. what does he even do with that information? it's not like he likes it. but thinking of ways they could counter it ... he can't throw himself into it all gung-ho like he tends to throw himself into things.
isn't what he's doing here right now trying to change the timeline? aren't they the same?
[ She was so desperate for a connection that she'd just ... given so much freely. Even trying to hold things back, even trying to be careful, she'd given him all the ammunition he needed.
Except he hadn't used that ammunition until she'd backed him into the corner. Too aggressive, too certain. And then she'd seen it — he'd expected her to see things his way. To support him. ]
He's too ... he's smart. If he want his incentive, he'll get it. [he couldn't see thrawn fucking things up for himself like he was so sure kylo ren would sooner or later. kylo ren was a loose cannon; thrawn was a precise instrument of destruction.]
I don't know, Rey. If you're looking to me for some kind of plan to stop him, I don't know.
[it felt easier to admit it than to say otherwise.
the suspicious part of him is like "i bet rey has some force bullshit way that we're about to hear about right now," even though the non-suspicious part is like "wow we shouldn't think that because rey is nakama and surely she wouldn't" 🙃 ]
And I don't think we'll be able to come up with one until we understand him.
[ So she does immediately segue, clearly it was something she was setting up for, but it's not Force bullshit thank you very much. It's … hiding Force bullshit. Perfect. She's treating her nakama well. ]
He is smart. He didn't share much with me beyond his anger at the Clone Wars and his loyalty to the Empire, and how he came to it. [ She searches Poe's face openly now. ] But the two of you, you didn't talk about any of that, right? So I thought maybe there was something he told you that would help us understand him, or bargain with him.
[there's no change in his body language or expression, but it dawns on him. he did have something. from the truth exercises. not a whole lot, but ... something. names, a vague reference to something that went wrong.
giving that away felt wrong. he could have lied and biffed the exercise if he was so concerned about maintaining secrecy, but he hadn't. he opened up to poe. and poe had done the same.
two paths diverged in a yellow wood, one is giving your friends ammunition to destroy your enemies and the other is being loyal to your enemies because you both got real Soft and he
yeets on over to the wrong one.]
Not really. I don't think we talked about anything that'd help.
Rey is too stunned to react right away. Her expression falls, disappointment evident. But there's something else too. Something like hurt. She blinks it back quickly, too appalled to process that right now. She really can't throw stones about lying to protect an enemy, can she? Hadn't she done the same — isn't she still doing the same — with Kylo?
This feels different, though. She'd laid it out for him, what Thrawn wanted to do. They're talking about the Empire. Poe's every reason for hating Kylo Ren in the first place was about the Empire! It's alarming and upsetting and all she can say — ]
Oh.
[ Her shoulders slump and she stares at her hands, distant. Disconnected.
Ben was right. It really shouldn't surprise her anymore. He's been right every time. With Keith, too. But she just keeps hoping anyway; she'd wanted to believe that after what Poe had said on Headquarters, that there was no way that Thrawn could turn him against her, but ...
But he already had.
Her chest aches and she reaches. Another chance. He just needs a push, and he'll come around. ]
[ ugh, he doesn't like that. doesn't like that disappointment that's emanating off her. maybe ... maybe he could try. maybe there was some shitty in-between place he could go to where everyone is disappointed in him equally.
(why did he care if thrawn was disappointed in him??? why is he like this?????) ]
I mean, I guess ... during the team building exercises he talked about a mission that went wrong once. At least, I think that's what it was. He didn't say much else about it.
[ She sits up straighter right away. Yes. That's something. It's not much, but it's more than they'd had. If nothing else, it could give them something to work with, something to look for when they delved his mind, and—
She reaches out to grab Poe's hand and squeeze it. ]
Poe, that's perfect. [ Honestly the hope that swells back into her expression is so much. More than the Thrawn business, Poe had come through. He'd done the right thing. He'd—
… Done what she wouldn't do. She meets his gaze, a slight downtick in her joy as she recognizes that she's still holding back from him. She wants to make excuses. This thing with Ben, the bond, the — everything else — it's not the same. The stakes aren't the same. But at the end of the day, a lie's a lie. Isn't it?
I don't know yet, but I know where to start looking. If it came out during those exercises, it means something to him.
[ She takes this up in haste, grateful for the question to draw her out of her depressing reverie. ]
Maybe the Empire screwed up and hurt people he cared about, and we can convince him that it's not worth saving. Or maybe— Maybe he lost someone, and we can find a way to use that. [ In other words, it's just … Rey being herself. ] It's something. It's a start.
[he bites at the inside of his cheek, trying to figure out how to word what he's feeling right now. maybe if he's honest, the whole thing won't feel so shitty. maybe he can make rey understand why he's not ready to hop up off this tree root and turn down for what.]
He told me that in confidence. We were talking about heavy stuff. It's not like — he has things on me, too. I don't like ... it's like you're sticking my neck on the line, you know?
[ Rey sobers up considerably at that. She searches his face. Thrawn has things on her too, of course. He knows about Ben. Somehow, he knows about Ben, and she can't figure out how for the life of her. It's not as easy as what Ben guessed. She knows it.
But that's why she's doing this. Preemptive strike. Making sure that he can't use that. ]
[is that kind of dramatization??? well ... yes. but get this: poe is a drama queen. and he's having a hard time explaining how shitty he feels about telling her this without being super dramatic. because maybe what he really had on him was ~understanding~ and poe may be a big gay drama queen, but that's a line he's not going to cross.]
Okay, not half, but a lot. I lost our entire bomber fleet. I think I told you I made a bad call awhile ago. It was that. The general told me to pull back, but I didn't. I don't know if ... maybe it doesn't sound like anything to you. But it means a lot to me.
[yeah, sure, but leia didn't bitchslap the entire first order. just him.
he feels a lot of different things about bombergate 2k18, and digging it up again with rey is forcing him to confront it. to put his internal conflict into words.]
I don't know if I would've. [just gonna keep it real and confront the uglier parts of himself first. might as well.] We were so close to taking down the dreadnought. I wanted it. I wanted the win too much. I didn't think about what it'd cost to get there.
[wait for it]
But I feel like ... maybe if I didn't take down the dreadnought, something worse could've happened. There would've been even more casualties. I don't know. I don't think there's an easy answer to it. The general disagreed, but. [he shakes his head.]
But the General's not here to talk to you about it.
[ Something settles into place there. ]
And Thrawn was.
[ She understands that better than she wants to. Kylo had been there, on the island, to talk to her about her loneliness and her parents and that dark place when Luke refused. When she was alone. Of course Poe would have told Thrawn; he was the only person here as entrenched in galaxy politics as Poe was. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
during azeria preparations / aka forces myself upon you
Of course they're bloody telepaths. It leaves Rey feeling weird about talking to Poe because no matter how comfy Scott is with the concept, she knows that Poe has telepath trauma. This world must be as bad for him as Hanabira was for her. Just constantly barraged by his trauma.
She catches him alone while some of the negotiators are working with the vulphytes to get their trust. ]
This place is really beautiful, isn't it?
👌
Uh, yeah. [he's taken off-guard by rey approaching him, having been preoccupied with his own thoughts.] It kind of reminds me of home. All the green and everything.
no subject
[ Until they landed, obviously. She pulls up a seat on an overgrown tree root. The tree roots are so big you can SIT ON THEM. Wild. ]
This is better. [ She folds her arms over her knees. ]
no subject
no subject
There's something I need to talk to you about. It's about Thrawn.
no subject
What about Thrawn?
no subject
[ Like, he really said that. It's not just Kylo Ren's really logical speculation anymore. ]
He told me it was my fault. [ She shakes her head. ] I felt so stupid, Poe. I gave him so much.
no subject
isn't what he's doing here right now trying to change the timeline? aren't they the same?
one thing at a time, he guesses.]
Because of all the stuff he asked you?
no subject
[ She was so desperate for a connection that she'd just ... given so much freely. Even trying to hold things back, even trying to be careful, she'd given him all the ammunition he needed.
Except he hadn't used that ammunition until she'd backed him into the corner. Too aggressive, too certain. And then she'd seen it — he'd expected her to see things his way. To support him. ]
no subject
I don't know, Rey. If you're looking to me for some kind of plan to stop him, I don't know.
[it felt easier to admit it than to say otherwise.
the suspicious part of him is like "i bet rey has some force bullshit way that we're about to hear about right now," even though the non-suspicious part is like "wow we shouldn't think that because rey is nakama and surely she wouldn't" 🙃 ]
no subject
[ So she does immediately segue, clearly it was something she was setting up for, but it's not Force bullshit thank you very much. It's … hiding Force bullshit. Perfect. She's treating her nakama well. ]
He is smart. He didn't share much with me beyond his anger at the Clone Wars and his loyalty to the Empire, and how he came to it. [ She searches Poe's face openly now. ] But the two of you, you didn't talk about any of that, right? So I thought maybe there was something he told you that would help us understand him, or bargain with him.
no subject
giving that away felt wrong. he could have lied and biffed the exercise if he was so concerned about maintaining secrecy, but he hadn't. he opened up to poe. and poe had done the same.
two paths diverged in a yellow wood, one is giving your friends ammunition to destroy your enemies and the other is being loyal to your enemies because you both got real Soft and he
yeets on over to the wrong one.]
Not really. I don't think we talked about anything that'd help.
no subject
The Force says
that's a lie.
Rey is too stunned to react right away. Her expression falls, disappointment evident. But there's something else too. Something like hurt. She blinks it back quickly, too appalled to process that right now. She really can't throw stones about lying to protect an enemy, can she? Hadn't she done the same — isn't she still doing the same — with Kylo?
This feels different, though. She'd laid it out for him, what Thrawn wanted to do. They're talking about the Empire. Poe's every reason for hating Kylo Ren in the first place was about the Empire! It's alarming and upsetting and all she can say — ]
Oh.
[ Her shoulders slump and she stares at her hands, distant. Disconnected.
Ben was right. It really shouldn't surprise her anymore. He's been right every time. With Keith, too. But she just keeps hoping anyway; she'd wanted to believe that after what Poe had said on Headquarters, that there was no way that Thrawn could turn him against her, but ...
But he already had.
Her chest aches and she reaches. Another chance. He just needs a push, and he'll come around. ]
You're sure? Nothing?
no subject
(why did he care if thrawn was disappointed in him??? why is he like this?????) ]
I mean, I guess ... during the team building exercises he talked about a mission that went wrong once. At least, I think that's what it was. He didn't say much else about it.
no subject
She reaches out to grab Poe's hand and squeeze it. ]
Poe, that's perfect. [ Honestly the hope that swells back into her expression is so much. More than the Thrawn business, Poe had come through. He'd done the right thing. He'd—
… Done what she wouldn't do. She meets his gaze, a slight downtick in her joy as she recognizes that she's still holding back from him. She wants to make excuses. This thing with Ben, the bond, the — everything else — it's not the same. The stakes aren't the same. But at the end of the day, a lie's a lie. Isn't it?
She loosens her grip on his hand. ]
no subject
How do you think that's gonna help?
[how much ... did he fuck up ... wait no he didn't fuck up did he??? being honest with his friends isn't fucking up, right? right?????? ]
no subject
[ She takes this up in haste, grateful for the question to draw her out of her depressing reverie. ]
Maybe the Empire screwed up and hurt people he cared about, and we can convince him that it's not worth saving. Or maybe— Maybe he lost someone, and we can find a way to use that. [ In other words, it's just … Rey being herself. ] It's something. It's a start.
no subject
He told me that in confidence. We were talking about heavy stuff. It's not like — he has things on me, too. I don't like ... it's like you're sticking my neck on the line, you know?
no subject
But that's why she's doing this. Preemptive strike. Making sure that he can't use that. ]
What things?
no subject
no subject
[ That's an awfully nonchalant way to drop an awfully big bomb. This conversation is a wild ride for Rey. ]
no subject
Okay, not half, but a lot. I lost our entire bomber fleet. I think I told you I made a bad call awhile ago. It was that. The general told me to pull back, but I didn't. I don't know if ... maybe it doesn't sound like anything to you. But it means a lot to me.
no subject
sounds like a lot.
Rey's quiet for a moment, however, because she knows that's not helpful to agree to. It's definitely a lot. ]
Poe, if you'd known that would happen, you would have pulled back.
[ This, she knows for sure about him. She has that faith. ]
You didn't kill them. The First Order did.
no subject
he feels a lot of different things about bombergate 2k18, and digging it up again with rey is forcing him to confront it. to put his internal conflict into words.]
I don't know if I would've. [just gonna keep it real and confront the uglier parts of himself first. might as well.] We were so close to taking down the dreadnought. I wanted it. I wanted the win too much. I didn't think about what it'd cost to get there.
[wait for it]
But I feel like ... maybe if I didn't take down the dreadnought, something worse could've happened. There would've been even more casualties. I don't know. I don't think there's an easy answer to it. The general disagreed, but. [he shakes his head.]
no subject
[ Something settles into place there. ]
And Thrawn was.
[ She understands that better than she wants to. Kylo had been there, on the island, to talk to her about her loneliness and her parents and that dark place when Luke refused. When she was alone. Of course Poe would have told Thrawn; he was the only person here as entrenched in galaxy politics as Poe was. ]
I'm not going to let him hurt you.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)