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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

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[ the gif is too real. it's poe pretty much at all times but especially in this moment. he's still not worried about the first order finding them, mostly because he trusts and believes in the first order not finding them here but also he just doesn't plan ahead. that's not really a thing he does. living that only ten seconds ahead at a time life. like a toddler. or a gerbil.

and that's how he can 100 emoji his way through everything. it's super easy to go full-tilt when your brain doesn't even put consequences up on the radar. except for the occasional moments of clarity when he's like "oh yeah consequences" but he tries to avoid those as often as he can. ]

Yeah. [ he hates sitting still and not being able to do anything. and that's what sitting on a train is pretty much. but he got some good finn time out of it, so ... maybe it wasn't the absolute worst? ] There might be a lot of it. I'm not sure ... we could get lucky, but it'll probably be awhile before we can get something in working order. Just trying to think about it realistically.

[ words? what are words? words are for chumps.

he forgets himself for a moment, drowning in impulses. his nails dig into finn's back. he tries to get back into what he was doing, more with the kissing, but he can't ... focus. his breath is heavy. feeling the way finn relaxes against him makes him want something else. more. still taking more.

he pushes finn back down against the bed. they were upright long enough to take their shirts off and now it's time to lay down again. except he's not laying down, he's still sitting up and sort of maneuvers into a better position so he can just … take finn's pants off. rip them off like he is still in some clothing removal contest. realistically, this was going to happen sooner or later in their endeavor to be As Close As Possible. ]

[ everything's got its highs and lows. sitting on a train included. ]

"Realistic" is good. Hell of a lot easier to trust "realistic."

[ like, something about it is comforting to hear in this context. thinking about something realistically. it could be a while. he can swallow that, work with it. it has more to hold onto than promising things will be fine. ]

[ one unrelated note: i found the perfect vine for their hallway situation earlier.

anyway hell yeah, pants off, forget pants, they're dumb. finn tries to be as helpful in this process as he can. helpful kinda amounts to raising his hips at some point, so they maybe don't get snagged and cost valuable clothing removal speed-run time. vital importance for the quest to be Touching.

the real problem now is that poe is All The Way Up There. finn has a cunning and revolutionary plan. which is, to try sitting up enough to get back in proximity, where he can also try to help poe with the burden of his own belt or button or zipper or whatever might be in the way of making pants less of a barrier.

i mean tbh i can't guarantee how coordinated this effort turns, because he's riding a hell of a fresh wave of good vibes right now and is, in fact, half-man half-compliant noodle. those are the scientific terms. basically he's here for poe-spice and dick bc they are clearly his legal and biological rights. literally everything else in the galaxy is no longer a priority. ]

[oh damn u right.

look, he appreciates the effort made, okay. finn sitting up and helping him with his pants is a treasure that should be cherished. he rewards him with a kiss, but also he's got this fam. he pushes him back down again — forcefully but not exactly rough — because he can finish what finn started, taking a second to lay back down and shimmy out of his pants like a snake shedding its skin. all the pants are going off the bed and joining the newly established clothes mountain on the floor.

this time it's gonna be different. because ... okay well he's not completely control of his brain, his brain is temporarily out of service until he gets off the finn-spice someday, but his brain is in a slightly better place than it was during his rut. finn is his omega and he's gotta take care of him and like ... not just think about himself. finn is almost practically himself at this point so it's all good. he's got this. he presses down on top of him, grinding just for the friction of it before doing anything else. ah yes. skin-on-skin contact with zero clothes in the way really is the best way to get as close as possible. they're doing it. living the dream.]

[ he can take a pushing hint. he can stay down while poe is busy doing top-bunk acrobatics to fully eliminate his pants. finn may not have the traditional a/b/o socialization standards down pat but his brain's got his back when there's spice in the air. it's like you know what, poe has a point, he's handling this. we're letting him be in charge so you can focus on the important shit like letting him hit the home run. sealing the deal.

skin-on-skin contact: good. revolutionary. grinding: also good and revolutionary, judging by the exhale he stutters out. this is what the kids call a great opportunity for finn to get his hands onto poe's back, like a graceful latch-on jellyfish who is at least partially convinced that this is the number one way to keep poe from being Too Far Away. literally just hold him in place, sounds legit. that's the true ticket to the bone zone.

when his brain come back online, finn is going to fondly remember how great he is at thinking in words pretty much anytime poe isn't around. ]

[it's fine, poe doesn't really know what he's doing either. he did not literally factor any of this into his life at all until a few days ago. and now he's just sort of figuring it out as he goes along. like literally everything else he ever does. doing things because they feel/seem good at the time is a valid way to live your life. it's all good.

also: he's all about that jellyfish life, okay. latch onto him, he's into it. he'd also rather not go anywhere too far away, as in leaving as much as a whole millimeter of space between them. but sometimes that millimeter has to happen, because he's going to press his hand between them, basically reaching down to literally feel out the situation down there. the status of finn's hole. maybe finger him a little bit. still kind of grinding some because multitasking is cool, even if it's not a specialty of his.]

[he glances at finn but doesn't say anything. of course he trusts realistic. because realistic is more negative and he can't get him to drink his idealistic koolaid. poe is only realistic when he has to be. like right now, when they're essentially going dumpster diving for a ship.

the train rolls around to level 1782 really quickly, and then poe is leading finn out by the hand with bb-8 rolling behind. they walk through another subway station which i'm sure is equally as disgustingly fascinating as the one they set off from (but poe will stop for a moment if finn would also like to take it in), and then they're taking the stairs into

you guessed it it's a junkyard. idk what else finn could expect from poe's descriptions of where they were going, but in case there was any doubt: it sure is a junkyard. it's walled with scrap metal and guess what! not just old broken discarded ships, but also airspeeders, hovertrains, and billboards. the true essence of coruscant…'s trash. also included: rats. not creepy mutant star wars alien rats, just normal rats. sniffing around, going about their business. what a great place. poe dameron really knows how to treat a date.

speaking of poe, he's taking all this in like yep this sure is … a lot. he didn't really know what to expect. he probably did a quick datapad search like "where does coruscant throw out their trash" and was like yep that's the level for me. that's as far as he got into that particular plan. and now he's arrived and doesn't even know where to begin.]

This is … we can do this.

[on a scale of nervous wreck to completely self-assured, that was like a 4/10.]

[ for spending all of ten minutes with each other and being tortured by thirst the rest of the time, they're doin okay.

he was promised no millimeters of space, by himself, and necessity is unfair. he'll have to suffer and make this bold sacrifice. and shove his face into poe to smell him, yet again. he's short on breath and the only solution is to close all possible distance and enjoy the reasons he's short on breath in the first place.

finn also shifts his hips and goes above and beyond the call of duty to clench around poe's fingers while he's in the neighborhood. look, it's an opportunity and he's taking it. maybe he's just that horny on main. maybe he just wants to be that extra. maybe it's maybelline.

regardless, the landing zone is well on its way to being clear for black one, aka we all know that's what poe named his dick, to make its landing approach. ]

[ this is the plan that google got them. holding hands in a sea of garbage. garbage castaways. maybe they can build a shabby hut for emotional breakdowns during construction hours. a place to think about how if rey and/or rose were here, this shit would probably already be on lock.

there's definitely more to look at in the junkyard than there was in the gross subway stations. which doesn't feel like necessarily a great thing. but does anything feel like a great thing to finn rn?? not especially. at least... there's plenty to pick from... and it is interesting. his positive thought for the month. the rats are. they're sure there.

man what a dump. why is he only just realizing how filthy everything's been? maybe a little overwhelming. that's a drop in the bucket. ]

We'll find out one way or the other. [ finn isn't gonna make assurances about whether or not they can do this. ] Better view than a holding cell. If that helps.

[ he's trying, he doesn't know. "hey poe if or when we do get recaptured, thanks for taking me to see a lot of cool junk beforehand." ]

[it does actually help. no matter how severe his internal crisis may be right now, at least he did this much. at least this much was worth it to finn, too, even if it didn't feel like a hell of a lot to poe. he squeezes his hand. still gonna be otters until the day they die.

(also, there was a fugitive camp here back in the empire days, so ... maybe they'll have neighbors???) ]

Yeah, a little. Doesn't mean there's not room for improvement.

[he exhales a small sigh. it's okay. he can do this. he's gotten out of jams with even less to work with. he is a strong capable person.]

I'd ask you to help me look, but I don't even know what I'm looking for. Something on the smaller end that seems mostly whole. I guess that'd be a good place to start.

[oh shit u right. his dick is totally named black one. what an embarrassment.

poe is like that's hot, hell yeah i'm ready to do this. he's into it. everyone is horny on main here. deciding that he's hard enough, he goes for it and enters him, going kind of slow until finn bottoms out. realistically this is probably as close as they're going to get to fusing into one entity, so it's definitely awesome as hell. all the cells in his body yelling at him to get and remain as close to finn as possible approve. that feel when you're not even having a heat or a rut and you're just Like This.

as horrifying as it is to put literally any space between them, his body's like yeah ok buddy if you wanna have sex there's a little more involved than just laying there. all these noble sacrifices for having a good time. he plants his hands on either side of finn and lifts himself up to be in a better angle for all the thrusting he wants to do. this is better than the wall. not just because of the obvious (rushed rut sex against the wall on the finalizer????) but also like, he can watch finn's face. check that shit out. amazing.

only downside: he's no longer pressed against finn's neck taking in his scent. like yeah okay he can still smell him obviously but it's not the same. that said, it's not like their scents aren't all combined in the air all over the place anyway. probably letting everyone who even thinks about coming near the bunks know that there is a Situation going on over here and they should tape the area off and all sleep on the big round couch.]

[ finn and poe: living in junk in domestic... mostly-dread, while at least one of them gets progressively more keyed up and prone to breakdowns by the day.
their neighbors: harold...

finn doesn't mind indulging in being otters. intermittent ottering is a big factor in keeping him tethered to this mortal plane. he's kind of a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, and then someone tried to clean up a little and used him for garbage with a lot of hard edges that are barely being contained.

he's almost starting to wonder if the first order wanted him to be a disaster instead of being put together and put back to use. not really the kind of thing he can ask them later. they're gonna have different priorities. ]

We won't start it any faster standing here. Might as well dig through some garbage.

[ this is the worst and best date of his life honestly. ]

You got it.

[finn taking the initiative. he's so proud. he starts to move forward through all the junk, finally letting go of finn's hand with the caveat] Stay close to me, okay? Not because — [you're a flight risk] I just don't want us to lose each other around here.

[inserts a montage of them digging through trash for awhile. a long while which is why i'm ff'ing ok. the majority of it really is like ... things that would make sense to be trashed on coruscant that are of no use to them — e.g., those speeders, trains, and billboards??? he kind of mutters to himself as they go along, being goldilocks about it. it's thrilling. there are also rats.

eventually, he eyes something and motions finn over.]

Hey! Look at this! [he motions at the ship like finn will have any kind of educated opinion about it.]

I think this is our best bet. [probably because he's tired now.] It's pretty good, right? We've got a whole frame, and ... [he comes up closer and beats his fist against the side, sort of testing the structural integrity and

a huge metal panel falls off from above and tries to kill him. COOL.]

... I can fix that.

[ don't inspire recruits who mated with ur ace pilots by being on the right side, resistance, because then the two of them will turn a whole bunk area into their own personal hormone biohazard. look man. they learned like a whole fact about each other today and this is the celebratory boning. gotta get the honeymoon phase outta their systems the old-fashioned way.

you know what, this is definitely different from the wall. it's a little slower, a little closer. there's no threat of imminent death looming over them. different is good. finn is obviously never going back to rushed, semi-public, and non-romantic biological crisis sex against a wall again. now he's spoiled by mutual feelings and locations more comfortable than walls and floors.

anyway they're gonna make it through these trials of grave separation. because they're into having this good time. like, finn's the quiet type but he's got an expressive face, and the way his breath keeps hitching, plus everything that rolls across his face, says he's really into it.

plus he is gonna facilitate their survival. he can keep doing his best jellyfishing, by sort of hooking his ankles around the backs of poe's legs, and moving one hand from poe's back to more of an in-poe's-hair position. the true bright side is, nobody can kinkshame him for liking to make direct eye contact mid-dicking. he can unabashedly stare right back at poe like he is actively in the process of looking at the best thing in the universe, it's fine. no bias here. everyone brings their own kinks to the party. ]

[sometimes when you learn a whole fact about your soulmate you just gotta celebrate by boning. just wait until they learn even more facts. this is going to be ridiculous for awhile. sorry resistance, you're just going to have to wait. to have your bunks back and for finn and poe to be available for anything besides boning and staring at each other like idiots.

speaking of, poe is a little ... not taken aback, but mildly surprised at all the direct eye contact? but after less than a second he decides that he's into it. let's do this. continue staring at each other like we are the only thing in the other's universe. sounds good. he's into all this additional jellyfishing contact, too. finn is so good. they just have an innate understanding of what the other is all about.

he doesn't really make noise, either, but his breathing is actively loud and heavy as he gets a good rhythm going. there's still a baseline of alpha-oriented instincts in the back of his head — he's yours, this is yours, etc — but it's at a much lower, manageable volume. more than anything else, he's still overwhelmed with just how much he loves finn. it sort of consuming his whole being in a way that's intoxicating but terrifying.

you know what else is going to be different from sex against the wall 2k18? something he is going to make a deliberate effort to correct? he's going to remember finn's dick this time. true romance. his hand slides in between them again, this time looking for said dick and starting to pump slowly, trying to sync in with everything else. he's got this. he can multitask. there's not that much actual thought required for it.]

[ fucking incredible. poe almost died by accident. finn admires this ship with all the investment of a dude who doesn't know anything about ships, who has never had cause to care about ships, and who figures it can't be any worse than anything else. at least there's that. ]

If that's our ship, I think the only alternative is learning to fix it. Without getting yourself flattened.

[ he still can't drive ok. right now, the mission is clear. do whatever poe says will help, hope that if it feels like kid gloves it's actually just poe assigning shit based on his whole "was i really actually even alive before last week or did that come built in with the processing" experience level. get poe to the rebels to... pay his life debt?? and bounce. he can't foresee anything that would make him want to hang around.

objectively, it would be a prime chance to get some intel back to the first order. it would be like getting his blaster out and putting a bolt through poe's head right now. a thing he theoretically could and should do, as a stormtrooper. kill rebels, go back, die either in a little cell or as part of a big fancy execution. a thing part of his brain is always kind of going on about doing, because the first order is everything and it gave him everything.

what does he want? (to kill rebels and go back and be where things make sense and aren't constantly terrifying.) a bagel. (LITERALLY JUST KILL THE REBELLION.) two bagels, which he probably orders while crying.

these are things he could do but if he's just slated for jailtime and execution when he goes back, like... why hurt this temporary teammate who has literally only been good to him beforehand? that doesn't sit well. ]

[yep. one moment he was standing there talking, the next he was obscured by a giant metal panel. he steps out from around it not looking frazzled at all, though. he's fine, don't worry about it. remaining composed after close calls with death is part of the whole fighter pilot package.

can't believe finn is thinking about murdering poe after he took him on such great dates to shitty places. poe wouldn't be surprised at least. just disappointed. and would still whisper thank you while being murdered, probably. maybe after a night's sleep and further thought he'll just commit to going awol instead of putting the resistance in danger via finn's flight risk nature. that's a choice.

but he's not thinking of any of that right now, he's thinking about the potential of this busted ass ship. it's not horrible??? it's not any worse off than the tie fighter had been, although it was a lot bigger.]

It's okay. I can figure it out. [read: he'll watch a youtube tutorial. i'm sure the diy community is thriving.] C'mon, let's check out the inside.

[he actually seems excited. he's finally feeling a feeling besides crushing dread and it's the excitement of opportunity ... until the crushing dread comes back like a wave against the shore, probably. he holds out his hand for finn to take. otters??]

[ it's nothing personal, poe. nothing personal against you personally anyway. everything is just awful all the time. he's a scrambled egg. a kinder surprise egg, but scrambled. almost constantly actively suppressing his urges to book it like a criminal and/or have a full blown panic attack.

and sometimes the dude his brain occasionally says to murder almost dies by panel accident and the rest of his brain is like "WHOA SHIT WAIT I PREFER HIM ALIVE." the duality of man??

if nothing else, this spacious vehicle will maybe feel less like a metal coffin. ]

I'm sure the inside has just as much vermin and garbage.

[ finn, who spent six million years holding poe's hand while they walked around and rode a train together and stuff, finally realizes they've been holding hands a lot today. like realizes this in an active capacity and not a capacity where he's busy going "okay cool that's a Real Hand that goes with this Real Ring, and if i do shoot him it probably won't help me pass the test to wake up in reconditioning".

he hesitates.

but he otters. ]

[ honestly they have held hands so much today the lack of finn's hand in his was confusing. he gives finn a look, but doesn't seem actually pressed about it. just teasing. ]

That's what cleaning's for.

[ the ramp is already out i guess because i'm a great writer and maybe someone was already living there and has since evacuated. they take a scenic tour of the ship. (don't fuckin judge me clone wars and rebels clearly only exist for me to steal things from for this psl.) sort of wandering through the lounge area where it's looking pretty okay honestly, and then into the galley, where there are some rats looking for the essence of food long gone. there's probably a single portion hidden at the top of a cabinet somewhere they can sense but are unable to reach. poe scrubs his face with his free hand. at least porgs were cute. what he wouldn't give for porgs right now.]

So we've got some friends. It's ... it's fine.

[is it?]

[ when you bring a new trilogy protag to the party you bring their special interests. finn likes staring. he likes poe's eyes, and the minute little shifts in poe's expression, and the sense of belonging that unfurls in his chest, the feeling of safety. like anywhere that poe is, everything is fine. that's wild.

a not-insignificant part of him is pretty sure that this is like the full extent of what he's supposed to be doing in this lifetime. wrapping himself around poe at all opportunities and thinking about how good his face is, giving him everything he ever wants which could in fact include the moon, or kylo ren's head on a platter. and honestly, telling that part of himself that it's being super impractical can wait until later.

poe using his +1 romantic boning stat pulls a definite sound out of finn, somewhere low in his throat, and his hand goes from "in poe's hair" to "very securely gripping the back of poe's neck" to accommodate for. idk. extra gay feelings.

"i'm discerning about finn content quality" i said on plurk, then typed that last thing with zero hesitation. what is the truth.

finn's revolutionary idea here is, what if he uses his dumb ability to move his body, and lifts his head. is he looking for the smooch? is he looking for the forehead touch? great questions, even he doesn't know yet. finn's the name and proximity is just the game. at all times. ]

[ from here ]

[ he sets the canteen aside so water doesn't get all over them in this attempt to make out. thoughts: he has them sometimes. with that out of the way, both his hands find their way into her hair, tangling their way in. he's an escalation of force and pressure once she seems down for more than one singular kiss — 0 to 100% in less than five seconds. he was so sad before, and now he has this good thing, this good feeling, this surge of warmth, and if he can just chase it and hold onto it then

then maybe he could be happy. ]

Edited 2018-03-04 20:09 (UTC)

[ Throwing herself headfirst into things is what Rey does tbh so now that it's happening, she's full speed ahead. Which is to say, she also wants to escape the sad feelings that are encroaching when thinking about the lack of joy and ease in her childhood.

Poe's the perfect distraction.

For a number of reasons, really. His warmth chases out the darkness, on the most obvious level, but he's also just … He's like a livewire. All energy and movement and excitement. And in that way, her attention can't drift because it's focused on him.

She whines in answer to the threading of his fingers through her hair and draws herself up so she can lay atop him more decisively. They're not so far apart in size, really, so her coltish body sprawls evenly across him. But she wrestles with herself to kind of, uh, stop it there because beyond this point is where things tend to get Weird. ]

[ he goes back down against the bed without a second thought. or without any thought, really, thriving purely on reflexes and instinct. they understand each other this much, what each of them is craving for in the push and pull. he pulls at her hair when she moves, saying "no stay right here attached to my face" without actually using words.

and then ... he can sense her hesitance, but it's a rare occasion where he's not relieved by it. so rare that maybe it's the first occasion. he's a little drunk, but at a level that gives him liquid courage and doesn't leave him completely trashed. like a 3/10 instead of a 9. he was definitely at a 9 last time, and then she just sort of jumped sex on him and it was a bad time for everyone. but right now he's kind of feeling it.

which is why he takes a break from their kissing, biting at her lip as he pulls away, and asks]

Do you wanna do more? I think it's okay. We should.

[ don't tell finn about the porgs or he'll absolutely never go back. he'll channel john boyega's personal distaste for porgs and die, right there.

i'm also a great writer, i forgot to even think about logistics like that it's fine they did it. together we carry on the clone wars legacy.

finn is finally back to being distractedly impressed. this is way roomier than he thought it would be on the inside. a ship palace. one day he'll be less impressed by like anything that veers away from "tiny grey rooms" and "shitty tie fighters". they really could have their own individual rooms for panic attacks. it's not too bad getting to look at some of this.

flatly as hell: ]

Sure. Friends letting us stay with them.

[ he could be saying worse and much more pessimistic things. in fact, don't count those chickens before they hatch. ]

As long as they're allowed to eat us if we die in here.

[ SOUNDS LEGIT. can't wait to sign the lease. ]

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poe & rey tfln cont.

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