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WISH LIST
★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus
★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions
★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him
★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia
★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships
kinks if ya nasty
poe & rey tfln cont.
[ he sets the canteen aside so water doesn't get all over them in this attempt to make out. thoughts: he has them sometimes. with that out of the way, both his hands find their way into her hair, tangling their way in. he's an escalation of force and pressure once she seems down for more than one singular kiss — 0 to 100% in less than five seconds. he was so sad before, and now he has this good thing, this good feeling, this surge of warmth, and if he can just chase it and hold onto it then
then maybe he could be happy. ]
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Poe's the perfect distraction.
For a number of reasons, really. His warmth chases out the darkness, on the most obvious level, but he's also just … He's like a livewire. All energy and movement and excitement. And in that way, her attention can't drift because it's focused on him.
She whines in answer to the threading of his fingers through her hair and draws herself up so she can lay atop him more decisively. They're not so far apart in size, really, so her coltish body sprawls evenly across him. But she wrestles with herself to kind of, uh, stop it there because beyond this point is where things tend to get Weird. ]
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and then ... he can sense her hesitance, but it's a rare occasion where he's not relieved by it. so rare that maybe it's the first occasion. he's a little drunk, but at a level that gives him liquid courage and doesn't leave him completely trashed. like a 3/10 instead of a 9. he was definitely at a 9 last time, and then she just sort of jumped sex on him and it was a bad time for everyone. but right now he's kind of feeling it.
which is why he takes a break from their kissing, biting at her lip as he pulls away, and asks]
Do you wanna do more? I think it's okay. We should.
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The last time we tried this while you'd been drinking, it didn't go well. [ She's just pointing that out. He'd been very persuasive that it would be fine that time too, but she can sense he's clearer headed this time. And since then, they've had the talk about lube and everything, so like. ??? Maybe. She's clearly considering it to bring that up at all instead of giving a hard yes or no. ] Are you sure?
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So Rey gives her response by sort of shifting her weight to straddle him and grinding against his thigh, searching for friction to get her going. And in the spirit of communication, a moment later she says definitively, ] I want to do more.
[ She's always wanted to, she's just been uneasy about it. Her fingers come back through his hair and tug. Firmly. Definitively. It exposes his throat and she goes for it, all teeth and tongue. ]
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he's not in fantasy land, either. this is objectively a moment between him and rey where they are themselves and not stand-ins for other people and he's actually really into it. she's been nothing but warm and receptive towards him and he's leaning into that now. trying to stay in this moment instead of wandering away to other moments that don't exist. ]
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The grip he has on her ass gets her moving with more earnest, and that enthusiasm has her drawing shorter and shorter breaths as she can feel heat spread through her body. She props herself up somewhat to slip one hand under his shirt, seeking bare skin, and she's not disappointed.
It's not the same sharp, trembling intensity of touching Ben. It's different. But it's warm and steady and pleasant in another way, and — Kriff. She was doing so well there, not making comparisons between her feelings for Poe and her feelings for Ben. But Ben is gone, and Poe's not. He's here and he's trying. That's worth more.
She decides quickly to bury that thought by sitting up straighter in his lap so she can start disassembling her own ridiculous convoluted outfit. She's nothing if not focused and expedient. ]
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this time, he's also both cognizant and prepared enough to mention before lying back down, while vaguely gesturing —]
In the nightstand. Look in the nightstand.
[just imagine it: poe going on a supply run, then making a pit stop at a cvs on corellia for wine, lube, and condoms like "my birthday is coming up." that actually happened.]
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Anyway so she has a pretty good idea of what she's looking for in the nightstand is where this is going. She discards layers upon layers of clothing because she's a Star Wars character, and they all get dumped over the bed. A wrap. A belt. A shirt. Whatever bras you can wear in space. That's all gone.
And she actually gets off of him, then, and stands to open the nightstand because she's gonna have to take her pants off anyway. She digs around for a minute before turning up whatever engine grease passes for lube in the Star Wars universe.
She tosses it to him, then starts shedding her pants. Now that they've been at it a while, she's pretty eager to get them off because they're starting to feel uncomfortable up against her business. ]
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he catches the lube and puts it beside him on the bed for the moment, because now that she's not on top of him, he can get to taking off his own pants. just lifting up his hips and shimmying out of them. doing the snake shedding its skin move because that somehow seemed like a better idea than rolling out of bed to stand. his dick is also relatively pleased with this turn of events, since all the grinding made it long to be free. ]
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She laughs at the way he wriggles out of his pants; her own methods are much more utilitarian. She's not making much of a show. Rey would be a terrible stripper; she'd probably starve to death if she tried to make a living that way. Hey here's a depressing thought maybe she did. Anyway, once her pants are kicked across his floor, she's crawling back onto his bunk and over him.
And there's immediately the issue of her breasts in his face and her wetness against his thigh. Like on the one hand, good job Poe, it's respectably damp down there, but it's also ~the danger zone.~ ]
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he's handling all of this much better than he did the first time. he knows what to expect. he remembers all of that because how could he ever forget, even if he wanted to. does he want her breasts in his face or wetness against his thigh? no, not especially. but he is Trying. just because it doesn't really turn him on doesn't mean he needs to be a baby about it. he's still having a good time. everything is cool. he props himself up, resting his weight against his elbows.]
Do you want to — we can try it this way, or you can turn around. Up to you.
[i mean, he'd rather she turned around because it facilitates his own personal fantasies if he wants to go there (but he hasn't yet, kudos to that character development) and would give him less facetime with her boobs, but he's trying very hard to be more empathetic the second go around. if she doesn't want to, he can deal with it like a man.]
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She should value that. But point one gives her an easy out, and even beyond the ever encroaching fantasy that she is elsewhere — in another time, in another relationship — her gut stirs with want when she imagines his hand pressed to her back, pulling at her hair, while she thrusts back against him and — ]
Behind. [ She mumbles it out because just that moment she decides to catch his mouth in a kiss. ] I want you behind me.
[ And she draws back, shifting to help free him from beneath her so that she can turn around. She pulls her hair down over her shoulder, nervousness and anticipation welling up. This is good, though. This isn't the sort of thing Kylo would do with her, right? It's different.
Or maybe he would. She doesn't really know, does she? Maybe he'd do it just because it might hurt. That's an unpleasant but probably realistic thought given that the guy tried to kill them all on Crait. She shakes that thought away. Don't think about the sociopath. Don't think about the sociopath. ]
Maybe we could — [ She bites down on the thought to spend another moment figuring out how to phrase it. ] Can you start with your fingers?
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[he was going to anyway, but giving reassurance is fine and a thing that should probably happen regardless. especially after he really hecked up last time. thinking about finn can wait; his main priority is not traumatizing rey again so they can continue this mutually self-destructive relationship.
so he picks up the bottle of lube, squeezes some out, and rubs it in before going back on his journey to finger her. starting slowly at first, with one, then adding another as she starts to feel more open. his other hand clutches her shoulder, mostly just to maintain his desired level of closeness.]
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At first it's just about getting used to it, but by the time she's comfortable with a second finger, pushing back against his hand, she's not just in the tolerating zone anymore. The warmth in her body isn't just leftover from the bump-and-grind they had going on; it's a direct response to what he's doing.
Becoming consciously aware of it has her flushing, a little. There's a lot to unpack in the fact that this is the first time she's found significant pleasure in her sexual relationship with Poe when he's already wrecked her ass once. We're gonna set all of that aside for now. She grabs a fistful of blanket as a throaty groan slips out of her.
A real one.
It occurs to her that he's waiting for her, that he's being careful for her, and that she'll need to be the one to decide she's ready and— Well, she is. She glances back over her shoulder, the nervousness chased straight out of her expression. ]
I'm ready. [ A shaky breath. She seems to mull that over now that it's out in the world, and it feels right, so she nods to reaffirm it. ] I want — [ You? That's … not entirely true. Like not entirely untrue, but not entirely true either. She glances down between his legs and her tongue darts out to wet her lips. She wants this, at least. ] I want more.
[ For now, that'll do. But this is better than last time. And in time, she's sure, eventually she still stop wanting Kylo. He'll leave her thoughts. And this won't just be chasing out dark specters; it will be because she wants Poe. ]
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going for it, then. he nods before she turns away again ... and then he forces himself in. this time going slow, listening to the noises she's making, looking for anything like a sharp intake of breath that would tell him to stop. so far, so good. his own breath getting heavier as he focuses on what he's doing. both his hands move to her hips. he's having a much better time, if nothing else. shout out to lube for making all of this possible.
he's determined to make this a Good Experience and has basically turned it into a competition with ... himself. luckily he set that bar real low last time, so there's not a hell of a lot he actually needs to do to beat his personal best. ]
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But here …
It's just a glimmer of it, but it's real heat. Real passion. And because of it, when he presses into her, she lets out a groan. It's not forced or bracing herself. It's appreciative. She opens to him, and he stretches her to fit. This time, there's no pain. Some faint pressure, a strange sort of intrusion mixed with keen awareness of her neglected cunt, but no pain. ]
Kriff. [ She blurts it out once he's all the way in, overwhelmed by fever. She reaches back to grab his hand at her hip, searching for that intimacy. Her other arm props her up on the bunk, but only barely so she can arch her back to push her ass up against him. It occurs to her maybe it'd been what she said that made him want her like this, and — and she wants more of that. So she glances up at him again, trying to steady her breathing. ]
It feels good. [ What a stupid thing to say. (Well, not as stupid as it could have, given their last performance. Good is new.) Is there a non-stupid and obvious thing to say while having sex? No. So she's just gonna keep going. ] You feel good.
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[ he can't think about finn right now; that's the good thing. a pro of constantly living in the now like a train wreck or a gerbil. he's 100 percent and most of it is about rey. is he suddenly instantly in love with her? no. but at least he can feel something for her sexually besides panic and dread. it's progress.
he leaves the hand that's touching hers at her hip, but the other moves to pull at her hair. they've had enough make out sessions for him to know that she likes things a little rough. one of his concerns about women was the idea of … having to be more delicate with them??? but it's not that way with rey at all. first of all, she's hella tough. he knows that about her, just as a person. second of all, it's like she wants to be manhandled. she really … gets into it when things start going in that direction. and that's fine with him. anyway now that she's confirmed that she's Feeling It, he gets a little more forceful with the thrusting, too. gonna give the straights everything they want. ]
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Once he's moving — really moving, not just taking it easy on her — she finds it easy. She doesn't even have to steady herself with her breathing, which allows it the chance to get ragged with need instead. Groans break up her panting on his more vigorous thrusts.
This is how it's supposed to be. She recognizes that now. But … it's still not going to get her off, on its own. However, it's vastly different from the first time. The first time, she'd been rubbing herself just to try and distract from the discomfort. When her hand reaches between her thighs now, it's like a fuckin slip n slide already.
Not coincidentally, when her fingertips rub into her folds, she there's no sharp sudden discomfort with the contact because she's not trying to force anything. This touch relieves an ache that was already there, one that Poe had engendered in her.
Go Poe Dameron. ] Keep going. [ She says this both encouragingly (yes more hair-pulling) and preemptively (so he doesn't think he needs to do anything about her trying to rub one out while he's fucking her; this officially Beats Doing It Alone because the intercourse is actually arousing, so she doesn't feel especially weird about handling her part). ]
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the hand at her hip digs into her skin, the general goal being to grip tight enough to bruise. still not thinking about finn. still trying his best to give rey the good d. he's not especially vocal, but there's panting with a grunt here and there. he's giving it his 500% percent. maybe it would be a better experience if he dragged it out, but the part of his brain that's still functional is essentially like "no ya wrong harder faster now." can't argue with that logic.]
gifts you this icon
She ruts back against him, panting, sweating, her whole body burning with the dull pain. Honestly, it's erotic in a different way than she'd ever expected. Bearing into her like this, he reaches a part of her she'd never expected anyone to touch—a part of her she hadn't ever considered.
How they'd gotten here doesn't seem to matter as much as the simple fact that they have arrived here.
She bites down on the forearm that supports the weight of her upper body, trying to stifle a groan. It's somewhere between pleasure and pain, this sound. As tension builds towards her orgasm, her muscles are clenching, and— with him there, it makes the fit tighter. Pushes a little more towards discomfort.
But that doesn't seem to stop her, this time. Adjusted to him as she is, eased into it as she is, that seems only to amplify the other ambient pain and bring her over the edge. Her muscles clench around him, trying to hold him there, and her thighs pull her forward as they contract too. She cries out, a sudden expulsion of breath that rides the line of a choking noise.
It's a lot. A lot. Dizzy for moments after a lot, and even as the tension starts to ease, tremors keep her body convulsing.
There's no denying that it's more satisfying than doing it alone. She stands by that. But the drop-off is still steep and sudden. She can't keep her fingers moving while she rides out that feeling, and so she just has to stop suddenly, her breath short in the sort of hollow aftermath. ]
i bet u thought i forgot about this
anyway, all that to say that the way she tenses up and clenches around him when she climaxes sets him off. drags him right off the edge and into the good place abyss, too. there's a sudden sharpness to the way he's pulling at her hair and digging into her hip, and then release. he comes hard inside her, and then it's suddenly like his limbs are noodles. he's all noodles. being upright is too much. panting a little bit, he tries to pull her all the way down onto the bed with him without being forceful about it. it's kind of a clumsy attempt because he's noodles, but there was some delicate intent there. ]
i did i lost the faith but just for a second i promise. i was like leia about ben
The delicacy doesn't work — she gets a few bumps along the way — but she's not delicate either, so she's not feeling too bad about it. Especially not with all the happy hormones flooding her bloodstream right now. He's pressed to her sweating back and she just … takes a minute, gasping, to recover.
She turns her face slightly, tries to crane her neck to get a look at him as she reaches one hand up to pull at his hair and hold him close. ]
That … That was … [ She's working through labored breath, ok. ] Wow.
imagines you doing a thousand yard stare across crait
[ the fuck does that mean? have sex? have enjoyable sex? yeah, probably. there is nothing subtle about him; his foot is permanently lodged in his mouth.
since it a) worked so well the first time and b) maybe he's feeling god in this chili's tonight a little bit after such a good time, he uses her pulling at his hair to come in closer and kiss her. how about that. amazing. ]