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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

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[ Since he refuses to participate for the moment the kiss is rather chaste and brief. She doesn't really mind; it's not as if she can't change his tune if she grows tired of his free will.

Lifting her head, her eyes find his as she gives him a slight look. ]

Of course you are. Think about it... why fight so much if you really just want it over and done with? You're the one dragging this out, not me.

[ It's a little of both really, but saying as much wouldn't help try to provoke him.

Letting go of his hair and straightening, she pushes her own now-wet hair back from her face as she regards him. ] If you're going to be so stubborn I suppose I can simply put your mouth to work again. At least that I know you're good at despite your inexperience. Not that I'm exactly complaining. Much easier to train you when I don't have to contend with someone else having already influenced your technique.

[ he flushes with -- embarrassment? embarrassment.

she was right. wouldn't it be easier to just give in? drawing it out only made things worse. worse for him. but that was ... the idea of lying down and letting her do whatever she wanted was disgusting. he was still holding on to the hope that he'd get his way. she'd get frustrated with him and try something else.

still, that didn't seem to be happening any time soon.

and then there was the inexperience remark. it shouldn't have struck him the way it did ... but it did. made him a little defensive. he wanted to clarify that he hadn't been with a woman before. but it would mean going into any kind of detail with her, which he was stubbornly trying to avoid. and the idea of her training him. training? training. having to be with her over and over until --

keeping all the things he wanted to say inside left him with approximately nothing to actually say. ]

I said whatever you want. Just pick something.

[ Kylo doesn't remark on the color in his cheeks but she certainly notices it. Briefly it makes her wonder what else can cause that kind of a reaction.

She's not spying on his thoughts at the moment but she can sense his growing discontent. The continued feel of someone holding themselves back. Part of her is impressed. Another part is almost disappointed and borderline annoyed though, having expected him to rise to her provocation already. Anger could be such a good way -- an easy way -- to get at passion. ]

'Whatever I want' doesn't encompass you doing nothing. If I wanted that I would achieve it in other ways.

[ Seeming to debate for a moment, she leans in close, her eyes watching his as she again reaches for him. Her grip is firm and not the least bit hesitant, as if she's touched him a hundred times before. ]

I trust you at least know how best to use this? Because if I have to do all the work I'm not going to be pleased. [ She chuckles softly at herself before adding, ] I know, you don't care about my pleasure -- [ Yet, she mentally adds. ] -- but you're not getting left alone until I get off and I'm satisfied, so consider that your incentive.

[ It comes out of nowhere, really. Rey is helping Poe unload some crates from a recent supply run — three people have told her to just use the Force so far, but she's still hauling them in her arms — and across the hangar, there's Finn, chatting up Rose while she works on one of the damaged ships they'd salvaged. ]

Do you think Rose is in love with Finn?

[ Rey grew up in a backwards desert. Concepts like dating and relationship progression elude her. This isn't news. It's not even particularly groundbreaking — Connix had pointed out that it could just as easily have been omega biology as her upbringing in scarcity of love and affection. She'd done it trying to cheer Rey up, but it was really just one of those beta ways of saying that omegas were fucking strange. Great.

So when she sees Finn and Rose, she has only one way to process it. The same way she'd processed Kylo Ren's teeth in her neck: matematemate. And, well, anyone in half a mile of Poe could smell the jealousy on him. ]

[ yes, poe's jealousy is palpable. in this very moment he is a beacon of salt and jealousy to the galaxy at large.

not that he's 100% conscious of that fact. rey pointing it out makes heat spread up his neck, both in annoyance with the question and with what the question itself meant. he wasn't even aware that anyone was watching him eye them like a hawk made of salt and vinegar. ]

It doesn't matter if she is.

[ finn is his. finn is supposed to be his. his. if it was another alpha, he would just yeet in and take them down. but rose??? ? ? rose was just some beta. what could he do with that? glare at her, apparently.

but, as he just said, it didn't matter. finn would still come back to him. finn needed him. that was what being mates was all about. he'd go into heat, and then what? rose holding his hand (with her vagina) wouldn't abate anything. he was completely sure of it. he decided it. ]

I do.

[ he can feel it rolling up in him, like the dark clouds before a storm. just how much he hates her. the storm is going to break sooner or later — it's just a matter of which it's going to be.

the options were clear in front of him — he could push her away and escape from her touch again, continue being argumentative and defiant until she got bored used the force to get her way (he had no doubt that she would,

or he could just give in. get it over with. sure, he'd feel disgusted with himself, but at least that might get her to leave him alone for some amount of time. she just said it. she wouldn't leave him alone until she was satisfied.

so, with a huge mental sigh, he gives in. time to just do it. (i.e. just do her?) time to toe the line of what he can get away with. he moves forward to press her against the shower wall, instead of the other way around. he grabs her with both hands, pressing his nails into her sides. it's not like he has enough nail to get some cat claw action going, but maybe he can at least leave a mark. he kisses her, but there's some bite behind it. literal bite. more teeth than mouth. she can feel him getting hard in her hand; he doesn't want her to let go. mm everything is already awful. ]

You're acting an awful lot like it matters.

[ She supplies this semi-unhelpfully. Rey, for her own part, tries to keep out of it. It's really none of her business, and the way Poe and Finn get with each other is just more salt in the wound. But when he's so obviously on the brink of mauling someone — ]

You're going to bruise the fruit. [ She yank the bag from him with a huff. ] That's for all of us.

[ It's affecting the rest of the fleet, at this point. However small that fleet is, these days. ]

[ She doesn't hide her smirk although it's more subtle this time, and she keeps any words of condescending praise to herself for now. Such could be saved for when the thread of defiance isn't yet so near to the surface. And she knows that point will come because it already has before. He didn't want to touch her before but he did, and he ended up enjoying it despite himself. She's aiming for a similar outcome here.

The scratching earns a quiet sound of approval as she rests back against the wall. Her free hand goes to the back of his head at the kiss, fingers curling in his hair but she doesn't tug or pull this time. There's nothing gentle about the kiss and that's just fine with her. She wasn't expecting -- or wanting -- something soft and sweet. ]

Much better. [ she murmurs against his mouth, unable to help just a little bit of goading.

Her other hand strokes him, slow and steady. Thoroughly enjoying the fact his body has no qualms about responding to her even if his mind does. ]

[ it's only when the bag is pulled away from him does he realize he was gripping it so hard.

it also makes him snap out of some murder fugue state he was slipping on down through. when all your thoughts are just knife emojis. ]

Sorry. Why — why would you even ask something like that, huh?

Because I've been thinking about it. All the time they're spending together.

[ Rey says it like it's easily put. She doesn't have the awareness of all the special requisites of this ABO bullshit. The overtures are lost on her. She'd avoided heat for most of her life by sheer warrant of isolating herself from any potential triggers. And then there was Finn, and Han, neither of whom could trigger her, and then …

Well. Needless to say she wasn't getting any Alpha-Omega lessons from Ben Solo. Or all the wrong ones, at least. She doesn't know how to engage any of it in a socially acceptable way. ]

I figured you thought so too since you keep staring. I can smell you. It's terrible.

[ it's like a tipping scale wavering between disgust and pleasure, the victor changing every other moment. his mind can't handle it. his mind is going to have to shut itself off. just be a collection of animal instincts. he hates the "much better," but takes pleasure in the sensation of her hand. quite obviously takes pleasure in the sensation of her hand. his mouth travels away from her mouth to her neck and shoulders, still all biting and teeth scraping. he didn't think he could actually hurt her, not in the way that he wanted to deep down, but he could leave some kind of mark. ~~he was already into leaving marks.~~

the tempting thing is to just ride it out to completion, to see if he could get away with such a thing. but he knows better. the command was to satisfy her.

he's got one half-baked idea, and he's going to give it a shot. once he decides he's hard enough, he attempts to grab her and spin her around to face the wall. if he can enter her from behind and not actually look at her, maybe it won't seem so bad. ]

[ he stiffens a little defensively at that. how can he not transmit waves of jealousy and possessiveness through his scent. ]

If there weren't so few of us I could just put a stop to it.

[ he'd put his foot down like "i don't think you need to hang out with rose anymore" and finn would be like "you're right yes alpha u got it" ... only that's harder to execute when you live with like ten other people and constantly have to share space. it's a solution almost equally stupid as "WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB ~~CAESAR~~ ROSE."

after spending a moment contemplating, he scratches at the back of his neck. ]

I guess we just gotta talk about it and work from there.

That seems more sensible than trying to murder Rose with the power of your mind alone.

[ Rey says this in a sort of sassy, probing voice that isn't particularly befitting an omega at all. But, again, 'why would you even ask something like that.' She's too blunt for her designation. She's used to the odd discomfort it leaves in people at this point. ]

Do it after they're separated. You don't want to hurt her feelings.

[ he gives her an annoyed and also disbelieving look. first of all!!! ]

Wh — did you think I meant right now? In front of everyone?

[ HE HAS ONE BRAINCELL JESUS. sure it flickers off and on like an overhead light in a horror movie, but he did decide this was probably an alone time conversation. ]

[ The attention from his mouth is unexpected, honestly, but beyond welcome, and she closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy it. A particular spot earns a sharp intake of breath and she tilts her head to the side a little in silent encouragement to linger, her grip on his hair briefly tightening. It's a good start and she's ready for more, aided by the fact that all the provocation and defiance is practically foreplay for her.

And then he has to go and try to make things happen more on his terms than hers.

Her eyes slide open partway, giving a heated glare as she reaches to catch his hands before he succeeds in getting her turned around. It's not that she's opposed to the change in position, but he hasn't earned having that much control. Not when she can guess at why he wants it. ]

Oh, I don't think so. If you wanted to do this your way then maybe you shouldn't have been so stubborn about doing this at all.

[ Her hands move to grab his hips, pulling him closer, and she tilts her head so she can nip at his jaw. ] You'll learn. If you want more choice then you need to behave. Bad behavior doesn't earn a reward.

You're an alpha.

[ Not known for the world's best impulse control. Honestly, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to her that alphas are in charge of so many things, really. They're reckless and stupid and emotion-driven. ]

So? I don't see why that —

[ he catches himself getting offended and has to stop. there he go. reckless, stupid, and emotion-driven, just like the brackets said. ]

— Why are you watching them so much, anyway?

[ why self-reflect when you can deflect!! ]

All right, all right.

[ there he goes, caught red-handed. again. he thought he was getting somewhere with the way he was managing to please her; that was clearly incorrect. she's here and more than happy to remind him that he has no control over the situation.

the worst part of the configuration they're in at the moment, with him still against the wall and facing her, is that the best way to keep from slipping in the shower and properly thrust his way in is to hold on to her. it's more active touching of her than he'd like. like she's not already touching him, her hands at his hips the way that they are. her mouth so close.

he wants to keep going. to get it over with, obviously. not being he's actually getting any kind of pleasure out of it. (at least, that's what he's trying to tell himself.) that's all he's doing as he positions himself inside her and puts his arms around her, digging into her back again. this is all just to get it over with. ]

[ She's braced for more of a fight on the matter, but what tension arose fades as he relents. Kylo doesn't relax so much as settle, her grip on his hips lightening up when he doesn't try to move away.

Honestly. For someone who was so insistent that they hated being in her mere presence, let alone --

Her train of thought derails when she feels him push inside, and she's unable to keep quiet a soft gasp. Almost reflexively she shifts closer, her hands moving along his sides as she brings a leg up to hook around his, giving him easier access. The way she can feel him grabbing at her back makes her arch toward him, one hand dragging her nails over his ribs. ]

Mm, don't be gentle. [ Whether the lowly spoken words are meant to be encouragement, permission, or demand is up for debate. ]

[ look, he's learning some very valuable life lessons about picking your battles and your hills to die on. he learned it on the field in tlj, now he's learning it in some very specific interpersonal ways. he's not getting anywhere with this. maybe when his brain is back online, he'll cook up a better plan.

as it is, he's still working on a) not thinking, and b) getting it over with. if he can make himself forget that she's kylo ren, like he keeps trying to do, maybe it can be an enjoyable experience. ]

You don't deserve gentle.

[ it comes out as some kind of rough grumble against her mouth. one hand moves to grab her leg instead. his touch is too hard, the way he thrusts too violent. he pushes her (both of them) to the opposite shower wall. ]

[ There's a reply on the tip of her tongue, held back for the moment to instead focus on the slight tonal shift of his movements. Yes, this is what she was after. Trying to urge him to take advantage of an outlet for all that discontent and anger and hate he has locked up inside of him.

She makes a low sound of content that turns into a moan when he pushes her against the wall, hips driving into her hard. In contrast to his earlier try at changing positions, she doesn't fight this one. If anything she takes advantage of it, grabbing on to his shoulders to lift herself so she can wrap both legs around him.

One of her hands goes to the back of his head as she leans down to kiss him hard, hungry for more of him. For the time being she doesn't care where his mind is so long as he performs well. He's at least doing a good job of keeping her pleasantly distracted from considering using any of her abilities on him. ]

Nothing.

[ She frowns, redirecting her energy to the task. She hasn't talked about it. She's not going to talk about it. She hadn't meant to open herself up to talking about it by mentioning Finn and Rose. ]

Just noticed, that's all. You don't have to be so defensive.

[ He gets a "no", but he waits it out, knows that Poe has a tendency to answer one question and forget the other. That occasionally, he needs a moment to sort out his thoughts.

So he waits and is rewarded with the clarification. As well as another question.

Most importantly, though, is that he picks up on the sudden shift between them. Poe's realized the situation, the puzzle pieces clicking into place. Is that... could it be mutual interest? Flicking his gaze over to the rest of the hangar and then back towards the doors, he seems to deflate a little. ]

Can we walk and talk? [ Because that nagging sensation is getting harder to ignore. Without waiting for a real response, he strides out of the hangar proper, the sound of his boots louder in the hallway, no longer overwhelmed by the noise of pilot operations.

When Poe catches up, he turns his head just a bit, voice low to keep a modicum of privacy. ]

I'm about five, maybe ten minutes off from having a lack of control and I'd rather not do that in the middle of the hangar.

[ he decides to show his appreciation for her not using the force to actually get up and follow of his own volition. the bright side is now he doesn't have to ancipate torture and murder from anyone who isn't kylo ren. the down side is ... kylo ren. but she keeps doing nice things? what nice thing awaits next? when are the nice things going to run out? these are questions he asks himself, but he's not sure he actually wants the answer. ]

It's not fair to give me orders I can't follow like that.

[ with no complaints or suggestions following, he decides that his assessment was correct and gives himself an internal pat on the back for being so attuned to his omega's needs. he can tell he was right not only because of that, but because of a whole shift in her body language. the way she loosens up, ready to melt into him.

at first, it's honestly a little hard to maintain the gentle pace he's started down instead of straight up wrecking her. because he wants to. so much. it's helpfully overpowered by how he wants to take care of her. omega's needs come first. what omega wants, omega gets, etc. once he starts thinking that way, it's fine. it's like he enters a mental flow zone.

he presses his face against her neck again. it helps take the edge off the pure want. is he — oh. he's already feeling another knot start to form. ]

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