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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

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[ his eyes widen in a silent "whoa there," but it's not like anything results of rey's aggression. there aren't any alpha pheromones triggering the "let's take this outside" response. just rey snapping at him like a kid given a big stick.

which isn't to say that he doesn't feel bad. it is rey, and he knew he was on toeing on some boundaries to begin with. ]

Come on! [ with the sort of annoyed apologeticness that can only come from inheriting the will of han solo ] I'm sorry!

[ He can be relieved that she makes no effort to stop him. Instead, amusement colors her features as she watches him practically bolt out of the shower, causing her to outright chuckle. She'd almost call it embarrassment, the way he's so rushed to get away and presumably cover up.

Kylo, in sharp contrast, takes her time. Rinses herself off in the shower before turning the water off, grabs another towel to wring out her hair and dry off. Too, she steps over to wipe steam off the mirror and glance over her reflection, lips twisting in a little smirk at the sight of faint bruising.

The towel gets left behind as she walks out into the room; she wants him to see the marks he's left behind. ]

I'm going to enjoy keeping you around quite a bit. You might be the only one on this ship who's not afraid to try and hurt me. [ She speaks casually, almost idle conversation as she walks to where she left her clothes, beginning to redress. ] I don't think I'm going to erase that just yet. Anger and hatred is quite useful.

[ She watches the realization hit, although she can't be certain he's recalling their previous conversation about her intentions for him. At the moment she's more focused on her own thoughts than his. As much as she would prefer to wait a little longer, she can't trust him not to try and escape, or to hurt himself. She knows desperate people will do desperate things. ]

Yes, you will. One way or another. I told you, I didn't hunt you down to torture and kill you. What happened earlier... was never supposed to happen. [ Oddly enough she almost sounds apologetic about it. ]

Don't think of it as serving the First Order. Think of it as serving Leia's child. I know how loyal you are to her. I need that. As you've seen, loyalty is lacking in some here.

[ it was pretty embarrassing, truth be told. but poe's threshold for shame was becoming a lowering limbo bar. (which was probably exactly what she wanted.) his desire to get away from her overrode any desire to be dignified about it. he can even hear her laughing at him as he exits, but he doesn't care.

as he dries off, he starts to enjoy his blissful alone time. even if it's pressed upon by the fact that she is just one door away and could come out at any time. he has to find clothes. first, becoming dry, then finding the outfit kylo ren had sent over for him.

he only gets as far as the drying process when she steps out after him. ]

You must not be looking hard enough. [ he tries his hardest to still quip. to hang on to some piece of himself, a piece that wouldn't be smashed down and wiped out.

it would be wrong to say he doesn't feel some small amount of satisfaction from seeing her all marked up like that. marked up because of him.

he tries to shove the feeling down. ]

[ Cognizance was nice. Rey knew her once. These days, though, Rey is exploring a new relationship with Base Instincts instead. She hums her satisfaction, squirming her hips to savor the way his knot keeps them locked together, and when she nods, it's distracted and hazy. ]

Poe.

[ She reaches for the name, and then licks at his neck. It feels like she's floating, her heart finally slowing, the panicked ache of her heat resolved into nesting instinct. ]

Whatever you want, Poe.

[ His words earn an amused huff of breath. ] Oh, sure, I could pluck some trooper or officer from the masses and tell them to hurt me but they wouldn't, not really.

Not like you desire to.

[ It's one of the reasons Kylo rarely toys with any of the troops anymore; no challenge and little satisfaction in it for her. Never very sexy to demand someone get rough only to have them fret that it's a test and worry over what they're actually supposed to do. All that ever usually did for her was shift sexual lust toward bloodlust.

Mostly dressed, she sits in the chair she'd left her clothes on so she can put her boots back on, only to pause before she does as a thought comes to mind. ]

Oh Dameron... [ There's a light, almost sing-song tone to her voice as she calls his name. Deceptive innocence that does nothing to diminish how she calls on the Force to give her words power. ] Stop trying to cover up, and come here and help me with my boots. [ She smirks as she eyes him, sure that he'd much rather keep as much distance between them as possible right now. ]

[ he tries to fight the command, which results in maybe a whole moment's pause before he compliantly kneels in front of her to help her with her boots, the search for clothes discarded. it makes the anger well up in him, the way she could easily bend him to her will. it was nothing. she's right; he does want to hurt her. to make her feel everything he feels.

instead, he's left tightening her bootstraps, clenching his teeth. ]

Stop doing that to me.

[ Her smirk widens as she watches him obey. It's debatable which she takes more enjoyment from: her control over him or his displeasure. Again she wonders to herself just how far he could potentially be pushed before all that anger and hate comes spilling out. ]

Why should I? Obedience is a good look on you. [ she replies in her normal voice as she looks down at him. One hand reaches out to comb her fingers through his damp hair, almost a petting motion. On his knees is a good look too. ]

And just what would you prefer I do? Tell me. [ Kylo resumes the use of her power with the question, seeing an opportunity to gain truths from him, information that could be useful or might just sate her idle curiosity. ] I could control your mind and leave you with no memory of what you do while under my control. Would you prefer that to this current level of control?

Rey ... Rey. [ if he says her name enough, he can drag her back to a place with less hormones. he puts a hand against her head — without moving her head from his neck. he likes the feeling too much. just like he enjoys the feeling of being stuck inside her, sinking into the warmth. he loses his train of thought for a moment. ] Rey.

When we ... [ before next time. when his knot recedes and they have like five minutes before rey's heat kicks back in. but he doesn't want to think about that right now. he tries, but all he can think about is how blissfully content rey seems right now, and how he doesn't want to ruin that by introducing the idea of him going down the hall real quick. ]

We're gonna need food soon. And water.

[ it washes over him again — things that got blacked out when hux decided to fry his brain for who knows how long.

maybe he's still fried. maybe he has brain damage. he grapples with this while listening to kylo ren explain that he wasn't supposed to be tortured and killed. the mental gymnastics to believe that serving kylo ren would be helping leia in some way.

and he can't. it breaks him. he knows it would break leia's heart, even if she had already broken his in some way he refused to admit. (she wasn't coming back for him. he was on his own now. she wasn't really his mother and he wasn't really her son, no matter how hard he'd tried to make the pieces fit.)

so he keeps arguing, even know he already knows deep in his bones that there isn't a point. ]

It's not the same. That's not the same as serving her and you know it. Hux is gone, you've got everything you want. Just go back to her. Please.

I know it's not the same but it's not -- [ She makes a vague gesture, fumbling for the words. For how to explain that the First Order that Poe knew was Snoke's, and her intentions didn't follow the same path. Not even close. Snoke and Hux couldn't wait to use Starkiller; she had been the only voice of dissent, the only one who saw such a massive loss of life as a tragedy rather than something to strive for.

Part of her doesn't know why she's even trying to make him understand, why she wants him to understand. She should just get in his head and be done with it. It's not as if he will believe you. He's like all the rest, thinking you as dark and bloodthirsty as Snoke. He's just like Rey, you're only a monster to him. Stop wasting your breath and exert your will as you intended.

"Just go back to her," she hears in the flesh. "Come home," echoes in her mind from the voice she'll never hear like that again.

You know you don't have to do this. You can find another way. Force and violence is not always the answer. Just because a choice was taken from you doesn't mean you should take it from someone else.

It's that moment on the walkway all over again.

Her brow furrows and there's something pained in her expression. The hand at her side twitches, muscle memory as if her saber were in her hand. ]

What I want? You have no idea what I want. No one in this entire damn galaxy has ever cared what I want.

[ As Kylo turns to pace away from him she makes another gesture, releasing Poe from the invisible hold, although whether she entirely meant to do so is questionable. Occasionally the Force guides her actions more than conscious choice, though it's usually the dark rather than the light surging briefly to take control. ]

You don't even know what you're saying. Go back? She sent me away. She was just as afraid of me as everyone else. [ And the only person who seemed to not be afraid of her had only wanted to use her power for themselves. ]

[ Her limbs coil tighter around him, betraying her reluctance. She doesn't want food; just him. Food won't keep her safe, food won't —

No. Not true. Food had been scarce, once. Now Poe wanted to provide that for her. Help her survive. Rey's actual literal history of starvation wars for a moment with her instincts, trying to reconcile the desperate codependency with the orphaned child living on vegmeat every other day. ]

Don't go, Al— [ She feels a flutter in her chest. No, he's right. He's not her Alpha. Her Alpha is gone, and this is Poe. He's helping, but he's not hers. She whines. ] Poe. Poe, Poe, ask Rose to bring it. Please. I need you.

[ that snake cake is valid.

every time poe tells him he doesn't have to do something that he already, in theory, knows he probably doesn't have to do, finn's heart grows three sizes. that's real. just the sort of... level of thoughtfulness in it. even if he never seems to think much before he talks.

finn would really like to keep him. ]

I don't mind. Sharing. It's not-- [ the next big ticket item on the to-buy list is a thesaurus for communicating better, maybe. finn leaves it dangling for a second, kinda lets himself meander back around to it the longer way. healthy people being healthy in the garbage house. he cautiously ventures back with: ] I don't like it too quiet.

[ poe is a lot of things. quiet is not one of those things. it's a little more grounding to have him there. ]

[ sometimes i think about how the star wars protags are contestants on one very long episode of nailed it and that's the truth.

he spends that whole second finn spends trying to settle on words ceasing to breath. "it's not" WHAT, finn elizabeth? what if that's a lead to a but statement with a bad end to it? the catastrophic thinking is alive and well in the chili's tonight.

but it's fine. whew. that sure was close. (was it??) ]

Me either. [ the agreement comes out a little bit like a sigh of relief. which is an embarrassment, but, you know. they've lived together for like two weeks so what is embarrassment really? ]

I don't like it quiet, either. [ he smirks a little. here he goes. here he goes being stupid. ] It's a good thing you snore.

[ he could be 100% bullshitting that to get a rise out of finn. in fact, that's probably exactly what he's doing. ]

I — [ he opens his mouth to argue with that, but he very quickly comes to terms with just how much he doesn't what to argue with it. rey may be an omega in heat but she is beautiful and smart and making good points. if he leaves the refresher floor, he's going to make like the "then perish" meme and disintegrate.

she's right. he can comm rose. rose was the one who tried to come at him like "ummm rey's in heat and i think she needs Assistance" while he was already rushing past her leaving a poe-shaped dust cloud behind him. she's complicit in this fuckery. ]

All right. I just gotta … [ the last word comes out with a little strain while he tries to reach for his pants without moving away from her. (or, in actuality, because that is not something he's physically capable of right now.)

the good news for news for everyone is that he manages. he digs his comm out of his pocket and makes his way through asking rose to bring them some lunchables with all the grace of a middle schooler trying to place a prank call. but he did it, and that's what's important. ]

There. She's coming.

[ he hates both. he hates both options, and the fact that he's crushed between such a rock and a hard place leaves him feeling all bitter and crumpled up inside. he'd be a growling dog while she pets him if he weren't a person. (questionably? that was starting to feel like an idea with a question mark at the end of it.) ]

I wanna remember. [ it comes out as an angry statement hissed under his breath. ] I'd rather know whatever sick and twisted things you're making me do than not.

[ he hates that he made a choice at all. every time he made a choice, it being some degree of compliant. exactly what he didn't want to be. ]

[ Given she honestly wasn't sure which he might consider preferable Kylo listens close, making a mental note of his choice. Neither would have surprised her. Some might think they want that awareness but not mean it, or not be capable of handling the potential pressure and dissonance between action and thought. In her experience, the weak-minded tended to make up the majority.

That said, she already knows he's strong of will. And stronger of mind than others might give him credit for. He survived her ripping into his mind the first time, after all. ]

Sick and twisted? Why, it almost sounds like you're anticipating our future fun.

[ She slips a finger under his chin to make him tilt his head up a little so she can run her eyes over his face. ]

I'm curious what particular thought prompted that choice of words, but I'm feeling generous so I'll stay out of your mind this time. Though perhaps next time I will take another peek inside, see what you find enjoyable. [ Because she's always happy to have more information to use against him. Although now that she thinks about it, perhaps it was time for her to sift through some of that data taken from his droid. No telling what deeply personal thoughts and secrets she might find. ]

[ Honestly aftercare right now is like crack. And so is keeping her in his arms instead of running off. Rey nuzzles into him, her nose rubbing against his throat, her hands roaming his back. She can't get enough of the physical contact thing right now.

And no wonder. She's reaching that part of heat where Rey as a consciousness is dimmer and Omega Rey is at the wheel, but even Omega Rey is so wrapped up in the strange conflict of wanting to be put-off by Poe's pheromones because he's not her Alpha and wanting to bask in it. ]

Thank you. Thank you. [ Repetitive and needy but genuine. It tells her she's good in all those fluffy nonverbal ways; that she has pleased him and now he's taking care of her. ]

[ his head lifts to look at her when she tilts it, but his expression stays somewhere between grim and seething. ]

Anything with you is sick and twisted. [ that was the whole train of thought. the way that she poked and prodded at him with tasers and knives was almost preferable. at least that pain didn't come with the layer of guilt and humiliation that settled over him whenever she decided on playing this particular game. ]

So dramatic... [ She gives a soft laugh and leans down, her eyes finding his. ] There are things I could do to you that would have you begging for what tame pleasures we've enjoyed so far. Surely you don't think a blade is the only thing I'm going to put inside you.

[ Her lips twist in a dark smirk and she lightly pats his cheek as she straightens. When she stands she carefully steps around him and picks up the clothes she had brought for him, tossing them on the chair. ] I know you're just dying to cover up. Your clothing will be brought back to you when they're clean, a promise is a promise. I suppose I'll let you keep them until I decide what I'd rather you wear. [ Nothing is always an option, but considering how embarrassed he seemed about it she's thinking that at least for now she'll save that for a punishment.

As Kylo goes to leave, she pauses by the door and looks back at him, reminded of a thought she had earlier. ] I almost forgot... you can expect someone to come by in the morning to escort you down to medical so those scars of yours can be tended to. You're right, your face is too handsome to ruin with a petty scar. It made the scavenger throw a tantrum so it's served its purpose.

[ Beyond that though, they both know she just wants to clean the canvas before giving him any new painful marks. ]

[ he did, in fact, think a blade was the only thing she was going to put in him. maybe a different kinds of blades, but … definitely solely things within the blade family. he tries not to have any reaction to this brand new information. her eyes meet his and he swallows.

his jaw clenches when she pays his cheek, and stays locked that way as he rises to his feet and grabs at his new clothes. he doesn't know what to do, is the long and short of it. he's not sure how to play this game. there aren't any good or right choice, just choices that seem slightly less awful than others.

and that's how he ends up saying ]

No, you don't have to go to all that trouble. I'm getting used to it.

[ he hated the scar on his face (and other miscellaneous scars on his body), but knowing that she wanted to get rid them made him want the opposite purely out of desire to be contrary. what petty argument he could win was still an argument won. ]

[ The smile she flashes him is neither kind nor reflected in her eyes. ] It's not an option. I'm telling, not asking. I could always make it an order if you prefer. [ She doesn't though. ]

Get some rest, Dameron. You'll most likely need it.

[ Fleetingly she considers lightly taunting that he should make the most of having a comfortable bed but she decides against it, as she's not entirely certain if she'll send him back to a holding cell. It wasn't as if a literal cell was necessary at this point; all she needed to do was make sure a guard was posted outside the room, or remove his desire to escape. Besides, when they inevitably capture others working with the Resistance or crush another rebel group it could be more useful to keep him separate. Why give other prisoners hope they might be spared, or that he might aid them?

After taking her leave, and setting up a guard rotation outside the door of his room, Kylo heads down to the holding cells to pay the remaining prisoners a little visit. She does nothing to correct assumptions that she's killed Poe and the girl, and when one of the rebels takes offense enough at her supposed murdering of the girl to try and strike at her Kylo makes a show of killing them then and there, savoring the strong emotions the act gives rise to in the others.

In the morning she passes on the order for a couple of the troopers to take Poe to have his scars and the recent wound she gave him tended to and healed fully, and to restrain or sedate him if need be. Afterwards he was to be taken back to 'his' room; his clothes would be waiting for him, clean and the holes in his shirt patched up.

And what does she occupy herself with in the meantime? Why, browsing the data taken from BB-8. Kylo actually spends most of the day and into the evening poking through it, apart from a few necessary meetings scattered throughout the day. Rather than deal with the rest of the rebels herself she gives the task to one of the captains that she's been grooming as a replacement for Phasma. The prisoners had no further usefulness to her and it didn't much matter whether she or someone else killed them. ]

[ poe for that whole entire pause.

what a fucking..... guy. i could try to say that poe totally doesn't get exactly what he wants out of that Absolute Slander, but it would be lying. finn takes the full face journey from confused to offended right in front of him. how?? dare????? ]

I don't snore.

[ he tries to say it in a very cool self-assured way. like "you can't get me on that bc i know i don't snore lmao". it fails because he's busy sounding offended. he's just sitting there with his space fruit like 20 minutes from now he might open the door and just go sNOOOOORE?!?! ray holt style. ]

[ yeah no that was 100% worth it. poe revels in the entire face journey. his favorite part of finn's face is watching it in motion. the microexpressions. the pores. the whole thing. his smirk widens into a whole actual grin. ]

How would you know? You're not awake to hear it.

[ he's so hype for this playful flirt banter. it's like he's been waiting for it since he was born. ]

[ in all likelihood, poe probably did need to be restrained. he's not feeling very much like taking things lying down right now. if he could prove to himself that he wanted to escape and that on some level he enjoyed the things that were being done to him, he wouldn't feel so disgusted with himself. he'd feel normal. like parts of him hadn't been torn away and sent through a trash compactor. having his clothes back and the breathing space to himself didn't make him feel any better.

his logs are jumbled, sorted out by bb-8 in the best way the droid knew how to. but they're useful for getting a very clear and thorough picture of exactly who poe is. resistance information aside, she more or less gets to read his diary. how much he loved and admired leia. how much he loved his parents; how he always made sure his dad received copies of his logs so he'd know he was okay. how much finn meant to him — they saved each other's lives, and he was convinced the force sent finn to him. his lovelife, full of flings but nothing ever serious — all with men. above all else, he loved flying and being out in the stars. ]

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I thought she was ready to give him a few hours peace but I guess not

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