followhim | open post

[ it was pretty embarrassing, truth be told. but poe's threshold for shame was becoming a lowering limbo bar. (which was probably exactly what she wanted.) his desire to get away from her overrode any desire to be dignified about it. he can even hear her laughing at him as he exits, but he doesn't care.

as he dries off, he starts to enjoy his blissful alone time. even if it's pressed upon by the fact that she is just one door away and could come out at any time. he has to find clothes. first, becoming dry, then finding the outfit kylo ren had sent over for him.

he only gets as far as the drying process when she steps out after him. ]

You must not be looking hard enough. [ he tries his hardest to still quip. to hang on to some piece of himself, a piece that wouldn't be smashed down and wiped out.

it would be wrong to say he doesn't feel some small amount of satisfaction from seeing her all marked up like that. marked up because of him.

he tries to shove the feeling down. ]

[ His words earn an amused huff of breath. ] Oh, sure, I could pluck some trooper or officer from the masses and tell them to hurt me but they wouldn't, not really.

Not like you desire to.

[ It's one of the reasons Kylo rarely toys with any of the troops anymore; no challenge and little satisfaction in it for her. Never very sexy to demand someone get rough only to have them fret that it's a test and worry over what they're actually supposed to do. All that ever usually did for her was shift sexual lust toward bloodlust.

Mostly dressed, she sits in the chair she'd left her clothes on so she can put her boots back on, only to pause before she does as a thought comes to mind. ]

Oh Dameron... [ There's a light, almost sing-song tone to her voice as she calls his name. Deceptive innocence that does nothing to diminish how she calls on the Force to give her words power. ] Stop trying to cover up, and come here and help me with my boots. [ She smirks as she eyes him, sure that he'd much rather keep as much distance between them as possible right now. ]

[ he tries to fight the command, which results in maybe a whole moment's pause before he compliantly kneels in front of her to help her with her boots, the search for clothes discarded. it makes the anger well up in him, the way she could easily bend him to her will. it was nothing. she's right; he does want to hurt her. to make her feel everything he feels.

instead, he's left tightening her bootstraps, clenching his teeth. ]

Stop doing that to me.

[ Her smirk widens as she watches him obey. It's debatable which she takes more enjoyment from: her control over him or his displeasure. Again she wonders to herself just how far he could potentially be pushed before all that anger and hate comes spilling out. ]

Why should I? Obedience is a good look on you. [ she replies in her normal voice as she looks down at him. One hand reaches out to comb her fingers through his damp hair, almost a petting motion. On his knees is a good look too. ]

And just what would you prefer I do? Tell me. [ Kylo resumes the use of her power with the question, seeing an opportunity to gain truths from him, information that could be useful or might just sate her idle curiosity. ] I could control your mind and leave you with no memory of what you do while under my control. Would you prefer that to this current level of control?

[ he hates both. he hates both options, and the fact that he's crushed between such a rock and a hard place leaves him feeling all bitter and crumpled up inside. he'd be a growling dog while she pets him if he weren't a person. (questionably? that was starting to feel like an idea with a question mark at the end of it.) ]

I wanna remember. [ it comes out as an angry statement hissed under his breath. ] I'd rather know whatever sick and twisted things you're making me do than not.

[ he hates that he made a choice at all. every time he made a choice, it being some degree of compliant. exactly what he didn't want to be. ]

[ Given she honestly wasn't sure which he might consider preferable Kylo listens close, making a mental note of his choice. Neither would have surprised her. Some might think they want that awareness but not mean it, or not be capable of handling the potential pressure and dissonance between action and thought. In her experience, the weak-minded tended to make up the majority.

That said, she already knows he's strong of will. And stronger of mind than others might give him credit for. He survived her ripping into his mind the first time, after all. ]

Sick and twisted? Why, it almost sounds like you're anticipating our future fun.

[ She slips a finger under his chin to make him tilt his head up a little so she can run her eyes over his face. ]

I'm curious what particular thought prompted that choice of words, but I'm feeling generous so I'll stay out of your mind this time. Though perhaps next time I will take another peek inside, see what you find enjoyable. [ Because she's always happy to have more information to use against him. Although now that she thinks about it, perhaps it was time for her to sift through some of that data taken from his droid. No telling what deeply personal thoughts and secrets she might find. ]

[ his head lifts to look at her when she tilts it, but his expression stays somewhere between grim and seething. ]

Anything with you is sick and twisted. [ that was the whole train of thought. the way that she poked and prodded at him with tasers and knives was almost preferable. at least that pain didn't come with the layer of guilt and humiliation that settled over him whenever she decided on playing this particular game. ]

So dramatic... [ She gives a soft laugh and leans down, her eyes finding his. ] There are things I could do to you that would have you begging for what tame pleasures we've enjoyed so far. Surely you don't think a blade is the only thing I'm going to put inside you.

[ Her lips twist in a dark smirk and she lightly pats his cheek as she straightens. When she stands she carefully steps around him and picks up the clothes she had brought for him, tossing them on the chair. ] I know you're just dying to cover up. Your clothing will be brought back to you when they're clean, a promise is a promise. I suppose I'll let you keep them until I decide what I'd rather you wear. [ Nothing is always an option, but considering how embarrassed he seemed about it she's thinking that at least for now she'll save that for a punishment.

As Kylo goes to leave, she pauses by the door and looks back at him, reminded of a thought she had earlier. ] I almost forgot... you can expect someone to come by in the morning to escort you down to medical so those scars of yours can be tended to. You're right, your face is too handsome to ruin with a petty scar. It made the scavenger throw a tantrum so it's served its purpose.

[ Beyond that though, they both know she just wants to clean the canvas before giving him any new painful marks. ]

[ he did, in fact, think a blade was the only thing she was going to put in him. maybe a different kinds of blades, but … definitely solely things within the blade family. he tries not to have any reaction to this brand new information. her eyes meet his and he swallows.

his jaw clenches when she pays his cheek, and stays locked that way as he rises to his feet and grabs at his new clothes. he doesn't know what to do, is the long and short of it. he's not sure how to play this game. there aren't any good or right choice, just choices that seem slightly less awful than others.

and that's how he ends up saying ]

No, you don't have to go to all that trouble. I'm getting used to it.

[ he hated the scar on his face (and other miscellaneous scars on his body), but knowing that she wanted to get rid them made him want the opposite purely out of desire to be contrary. what petty argument he could win was still an argument won. ]

[ The smile she flashes him is neither kind nor reflected in her eyes. ] It's not an option. I'm telling, not asking. I could always make it an order if you prefer. [ She doesn't though. ]

Get some rest, Dameron. You'll most likely need it.

[ Fleetingly she considers lightly taunting that he should make the most of having a comfortable bed but she decides against it, as she's not entirely certain if she'll send him back to a holding cell. It wasn't as if a literal cell was necessary at this point; all she needed to do was make sure a guard was posted outside the room, or remove his desire to escape. Besides, when they inevitably capture others working with the Resistance or crush another rebel group it could be more useful to keep him separate. Why give other prisoners hope they might be spared, or that he might aid them?

After taking her leave, and setting up a guard rotation outside the door of his room, Kylo heads down to the holding cells to pay the remaining prisoners a little visit. She does nothing to correct assumptions that she's killed Poe and the girl, and when one of the rebels takes offense enough at her supposed murdering of the girl to try and strike at her Kylo makes a show of killing them then and there, savoring the strong emotions the act gives rise to in the others.

In the morning she passes on the order for a couple of the troopers to take Poe to have his scars and the recent wound she gave him tended to and healed fully, and to restrain or sedate him if need be. Afterwards he was to be taken back to 'his' room; his clothes would be waiting for him, clean and the holes in his shirt patched up.

And what does she occupy herself with in the meantime? Why, browsing the data taken from BB-8. Kylo actually spends most of the day and into the evening poking through it, apart from a few necessary meetings scattered throughout the day. Rather than deal with the rest of the rebels herself she gives the task to one of the captains that she's been grooming as a replacement for Phasma. The prisoners had no further usefulness to her and it didn't much matter whether she or someone else killed them. ]

[ in all likelihood, poe probably did need to be restrained. he's not feeling very much like taking things lying down right now. if he could prove to himself that he wanted to escape and that on some level he enjoyed the things that were being done to him, he wouldn't feel so disgusted with himself. he'd feel normal. like parts of him hadn't been torn away and sent through a trash compactor. having his clothes back and the breathing space to himself didn't make him feel any better.

his logs are jumbled, sorted out by bb-8 in the best way the droid knew how to. but they're useful for getting a very clear and thorough picture of exactly who poe is. resistance information aside, she more or less gets to read his diary. how much he loved and admired leia. how much he loved his parents; how he always made sure his dad received copies of his logs so he'd know he was okay. how much finn meant to him — they saved each other's lives, and he was convinced the force sent finn to him. his lovelife, full of flings but nothing ever serious — all with men. above all else, he loved flying and being out in the stars. ]

[ It's genuinely interesting for her, going through the logs and seeing the truth, not simply the image that Poe liked to project even now, although Kylo imagined at this point such effort is mostly for himself. Distantly she understands, but she's long past the point where that understanding would bring forth sympathy or compassion. The universe had its chance and it chose to cast judgement, assuming the worst and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

No, there's no compassion from Kylo now. Not even when her mother is the subject of the pilot's logs. If anything it fuels her drive to crush what little remains of the Resistance.

Sometime in the early morning hours the following day she sends a couple troopers to bring Poe to her. A new location this time, one of the meeting rooms on the ship. Kylo's reclining in her seat at the head of the table, gaze on one of the windows along the far wall and her boots kicked up on the table, hoping for a little subconscious reminder with the latter. Her head turns when she hears them enter but she doesn't speak until the troopers have left the room. ]

I have a new game for you, Dameron.

[ Kylo gestures to a tablet on the table near where Poe stands. It displays information on two different star systems, the systems fairly comparable in nature but in different parts of the galaxy. One might appear more familiar to him though, given it's awful close to his home system. ]

I know how much you enjoy being able to make a choice, so I have one for you. See those two systems there? You get to decide which one of them is the next to get a visit from my fleet.

Edited (just realized i didn't make clear which day it was *faceplam*) 2018-11-03 16:05 (UTC)

[ if the boots kick up any memories, he doesn't respond. it's all he can do to stay stock-still and act like wearing his clothes gave him some sense of still being completely himself. not something crumpled up and mangled.

he knows what she's doing. it's not out of nowhere. on some level, he might have even been expecting it. he tries to keep any alarm he might have been feeling bottled up while he roughly and quickly (a bit too quickly) presses his fingers to the star system farther from home. ]

There.

[ pointing out that he knew what she was doing felt like opening himself. exposing a weakness. so instead of saying anything, he limits the words leaving his mouth to "there."

(maybe later, when he got some more time to be left alone and speculate, he'd think about how quick he was to make that choice instead of, you know, maybe trying to plead neither.) ]

Awful quick decision. Are you sure you don't want to consider the choice for a few minutes?

[ It's true, she had been fairly certain of which one he would choose in the end. She was more interested in how the choice came to be.

While Kylo shifts slightly in the chair, loosely lacing her fingers on her stomach, her boots stay on the table. She doesn't bother to glance at the tablet, knowing he pointed to the one further from his precious home. Watching him is always more enlightening. ]

Of course, there's always a third possibility. I admit I've always wanted to see the Great Temple for myself after hearing so much about it over the years. I'm sure it yet holds a few secrets the Rebels and the Empire didn't uncover.

[ Her expression doesn't change but she's watching his reaction closely. ]

[ at a loss, he spits out the first thing that could be remotely passable for an excuse: ]

No. A leader knows how to make quick decisions.

[ as she mentions the great temple, she can note that he tenses up, every inch of him coiled tight trying to protect whatever there is left for him to protect. there are so many things he'd been able to deal with, to live through, but he never imagined he would have to deal with kylo ren and by extension the first order coming after his home — he should have, of course. he just didn't. his hand slides off the tablet, but both stay pressed on the table. ]

There's nothing there. It was stripped dry years ago. There's no reason for anybody to go over there.

[ that is true, to his own knowledge. he'd be saying it even if it wasn't, though, obviously. ]

[ She appears a little amused at his answer, a brow lifting, but lets it be, at least for now. He's right, it's quite plausible, although it also makes her want to point out he's not the leader of anything anymore. If she had a harem perhaps he could be the leader of that.

Feeling a fresh wave of tension in the air as well as noting the shift of his body, Kylo is quietly pleased. If he tried to be too blase about it she would only feel more encouraged to go straight for what he held close to his heart. For the time being at least she's more inclined to use his home as a manipulation tool, much as she'd used his droid. Though she also isn't lying; she has genuinely wanted to see the temple. As much as she might discard certain pieces of the past, there's something about a place genuinely ancient that is intriguing.

Her head tilts slightly, sensing the honesty in his words. True or not, it's true to him. ]

No reason? I think there's plenty of reason to visit a site several thousand years old. [ But, it's not the point of this. ] However that does remind me... I've heard a rumor about there being a Force tree tucked away somewhere on that moon. You wouldn't know anything about such rumors, would you Dameron?

[ if his body language wasn't giving him away before, his face is definitely giving him away now. there's some mixture of anger and anxiety stripped bare playing across it, forcing him to stare down at the table in an attempt to keep from being a completely open book.

she knew. she had to know. it was in his logs. he remembered telling bb-8 the story of how he accidentally singed the tree with farm equipment jury-rigged with podracer engines. it looks like any other tree, but that didn't seem likely of stopping her. ]

No, I wouldn't. Dunno anything about those rumors.

[ if he could tell the truth about that, maybe it would cover up that he didn't need the rumors to know that it was there. it was a stupid play, especially considering his shaken expression, but he doesn't have much other defense against a force user. ]

Mm, of course you don't. [ Her tone doesn't sound remotely convinced. Not because of his effort but because his suspicions are right; she does know, and this is her way of letting him know that she does. That whatever he thinks is secret is becoming progressively not. Between his logs and his own mind, Kylo's certain she'll know him better than anyone else ever has.

After several moments of tense silence she shrugs a shoulder, as if it doesn't matter to her either way whether there's truth to the rumors. ] Ah well, something to investigate another time.

Do be a dear and bring me the tablet so I can see which system we'll be traveling to. I have a meeting shortly to pass on my orders for the day and I know the troops are just itching for some action. [ She could easily get it herself but where would the fun be in that? ]

[ her letting the subject go, surprisingly, does not leave him feeling any better about the entire situation. maybe it's worse. worse in the sense that he's almost certain she does know, and now she's just toying with him. ]

Is the Force broken?

[ the idea of telling her to get it herself is quelled by the threat she's carefully crafted here. even mouthing off is probably going to earn him a punishment one way or another, but the jab that he gives in the process of handing it over to her comes out before he can stop himself. ]

I'm sure you wish it was. [ As he hands the tablet over she takes it, and then reaches to catch his wrist before he can put distance between them again. ] Ah ah, I'm going to keep you close for a little while. Meetings can get terribly boring and I might desire some entertainment. [ She says it purely in an effort to get under his skin and make him uncomfortable. Watching him metaphorically squirm brightens her mood.

Releasing his wrist, she points to the spot beside her chair. ] Kneel. You're not obedient enough yet to merit the privilege of standing while your superiors discuss business. [ Even if the thought of him forced to stand at attention behind her chair while she gave orders to attack the very system he chose is one that pleases her. Making him remain present will be suitable enough. Present and kept within reach, in case she feels like reminding him of just how not in control he is of what happens to him. ]

[ if making him uncomfortable was the desired effect, it completely worked. his face scrunches up, and he even tries to pull his wrist away for a moment.

the command to kneel is what really gets to him, though. continuing to treat him like some pet. the more he argues against it, the more she tries to enforce it. it was a lost cause to keep trying, he was sure, but not trying felt like watching more and more of himself slip away with resignation.

perhaps proving her point about obedience, he replies with a very decisive ]

I ain't doing that.

Edited (that part made no sense so i fixed it 👌) 2018-11-05 03:12 (UTC)

[ Kylo gives him a look when he refuses to do as told. It's not entirely unexpected but it is just a touch annoying. Particularly when there's far more humiliating things she could order him to do. ]

Surely you realize I was giving you a chance to behave on your own terms.

[ There's some muffled sounds outside the room, a sign that the officers involved in the meeting are shortly to arrive. If he thought she was joking about either her actually having a meeting or making him stay then he was sorely mistaken. One side of her mouth curls up in a smirk as she looks at him, finally moving her feet off the table and taking a more proper position in her chair. ]

I said to kneel, Dameron. [ Her tone shifts with the words, calling on her power to make it an order. ] Kneel beside my chair like a good boy and remain quiet unless you're spoken to. Am I understood?

[ he realized it — he just didn't want to comply. it wasn't that he wanted her to force him around, either. he hated it. the venomous expression on his face as he kneels down speaks more than enough to that. but if he had no choice either way, maybe the option that required him to put up a fight meant a little more. ]

Yes.

[ he glances up at her to give the reply. the word tastes like gravel. once the sound of the officers actually registers to him, something in his stomach clenches. more than enough people aboard had seen his general state of existence since being taken prisoner. that should have made being debased for the millionth time easier — wore away at some of his pride, perhaps, but it didn't. hadn't. ]

Much better. [ And yes, she reaches out to lightly run a hand over his hair, half because she wants to and half because she's certain he'll hate it. Perhaps today she wouldn't give him a choice in matters. See if afterward he thought being defiant when he could was still worth it.

As the officers file in there's a few glances -- and poorly-hidden snickering -- directed at Poe. By now many on the ship are aware of their leader's "pet" but seeing as she hasn't started dragging him around with her or otherwise having him out and about, it's still a surprise to a degree for him to be present for something like this. Unsurprisingly, Hux takes the most interest in Poe's presence, and seems the most smug about the pilot's situation. The general takes a seat on the other side of the table at least.

The usual sort of routine reports start the meeting off. Nothing particularly exciting. There's mention of a small uprising being squashed in the Mid Rim, a progress report on the new dreadnought being built to replace the one destroyed above D'Qar, details on a successful raid on one of the more sizeable rebel cells mentioned in data taken from BB-8. Kylo spares a glance down at Poe when that subject comes up, though she otherwise practically ignores that he's there.

When it's time to discuss their next target, the system she brings up is the one Poe chose and not the one closer to his home or Yavin itself. He didn't make a fuss about having to make a decision and so she was content with going along with it.

As the meeting progresses things take a little turn when the topic of discussion shifts to how talks are progressing with the Hutt Cartel. Allies aren't a priority for the First Order, but some entities were easier to deal with by striking some kind of terms than insisting on attacking anyone and everyone. (A fact she had to practically beat into Hux but he accepted her strategy, eventually.) Besides, as the Cartel formerly had an arrangement with the Empire, it only seemed logical to seek similar means. The Hutts might not have as much influence as they once held but Hutt Space was still sizeable and it would be more convenient if the Order could travel through it freely. However, talks had been progressing quite slowly.

At mention of the council leader having sent a holo over Kylo becomes curious. Doubly so when the officer giving the report turns hesitant and glances at a few of the others who were already privy to the recording's contents. Their reason for concern quickly becomes clear when the holo is played. In it, the Hutt expresses doubts about the Order's current leader, going so far as to imply, in somewhat crude terms, that they would rather deal with Kylo in the same manner they dealt with her mother. It would seem that, unsurprisingly, the holo Kylo sent to the Resistance -- or at least the part where she revealed her parentage -- was making its rounds.

There's not an immediate response from Kylo. At least not a verbal one. Any sense of her relaxing or otherwise being at ease is gone now, replaced with tension and darkened eyes, her jaw set and one hand clenched on the armrest of her chair. ]

What assets do we have in the area? [ A thread of barely contained anger backs her words. ]

"A destroyer and a few accompanying ships, my lord."

Tell them to make ready.

[ even though he feels thoroughly humiliated, he tries not to let it show in his expression. it helps that he keeps his gaze towards the ground for the most part. he doesn't have to acknowledge first order officers mocking him if he isn't looking at them. that had to be how that worked, somehow.

poe stays still with head bowed through the briefing on the raid. knowing that the resistance had suffered a blow like that because of information they'd taken from him, from his droid, made bile rise up in his throat. he knows she's probably looking at him, which makes him all the more resolute to not look back.

at least she hadn't tried to bait and switch him about the system near yavin. it was some small relief. he lets a slow exhale out.

he only looks up, finally, when the holo that sets kylo on the warpath plays. he has a distinct feeling of not wanting to be in this room anymore, yet being stuck. they're just trying to bait her, and she's taking it. he wants to say something, but doesn't.

(he also doesn't want to say that the hutt cartel had been tenuously loaning ships and supplies out to the resistance — something recent enough to have been unincluded on the logs. it wasn't ideal, but they had so few allies anymore. it really was a matter of scraping up the dregs.)

so he glances up with a pinched expression and then glances away. ]

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I thought she was ready to give him a few hours peace but I guess not

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