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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

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[ ABORT MISSION. FINN DID NOT THINK THINGS COULD GET MORE EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE OR EARNEST. i mean he has really bad standards on this rn anyway but still. too many screencaps! too many genuine pilots taking his hand! and it's nice, and he almost doesn't admit it even to himself. who the hell authorized this? someone holding his hand shouldn't make him want to sit down and cry in another alley, who did this?

this is too much. this is not fair. aka 'his entire mind and also probably the way his expression softens out for a little bit, quietly but with a lot of feeling: what the fuck.'

he rockets up from 'mildly' on the alarmed scale, but it's like a weird internal cyclone of alarm. it's like it's not even really happening to him. he just kinda stares at their hands while he fills up with muted dread like sands through the hourglass. he misses something he doesn't know. he thinks he's pretty much defective no matter how hard anyone's been trying to fix him lately. he thinks poe is dumb and very beautiful.

anyway, he opens the floor for discussion by channeling his mix of warmth and instant illogical Fear into arguing. WHAT A SHOCK. WHO COULD BELIEVE. why do i rp this disaster.

a contained hiss argument, though, not a yell. who wants to yell in a nice joint like this one. he's got manners. ]

You can't just say that!

[ i mean it's not a surprise to poe as this point. he is flying full force into this brick wall knowing full well that it's a brick wall. but he's not going to stop trying. even if finn is going to fight him on this and never retain any of the nice things he says, he's still going to try. because someday it will sink in.

his tone is response is very level. calm. not hissing back. his hands don't move from finn's, either. ]

Yeah, I can, because it's true. I'll say it all again if you need me to.

[ high gay drama at its peak. they had a nice stretch of non-brick walls for a little while there. that's going in the scrapbook. ]

I really don't need that. [ and yet?? he also doesn't try to pull his hand back? ] What I need is to know why you won't just-- understand anything, I don't know how else I can--

[ he runs his free hand down his face and puts on his metaphorical thinking cap. ]

There is no getting out, Poe. Not for real. There's no staying out. Everything that you try to give me right now is just something you're gonna lose all over again.

[ how can he say it any more plainly? he sourced this article, the source is him. he's uhhhh totally not scared just talking about this, either, totally not a little bit glad to have a handhold going on. ]

Everything that they have to get rid of when I'm back, I'm gonna know I'm losing until it's gone. I don't even know what's gone from before, but I know I can't do it again. I can't. I need you to stop trying to give me things that won't fit where I need to fit when that happens.

[ that's what it all feels like, he thinks. like poe trying to give him weird verbal gifts. telling him he has a name and a place that wants him back and friends, and that he's a person, even if he's not the same person who had that name and that life and the place that wants him back anymore.

he doesn't want it.

he doesn't want it to go. ]

[ all good things come to an end and etc. poe was expecting the brick wall, all things considered. he just shakes his head, letting his beautiful hair shift around. ]

You don't get it. You're never going back. Even if I have to take down the entire First Order myself, I'm gonna make sure of that. [but he knows that's not going to be enough for finn, so he keeps going. he needs more than that, and poe can give him that. ] But, even if something happens and you do go back? I'd do it all over again. I'd go back and rescue you, and we'd be sitting here having this whole conversation all over again. You're worth that to me. You're something worth fighting for.

[ the waitress comes backs to give them their caf then just sort of looks at this folding out like ukw ... i'm gonna ... give them a minute. bye. but they have caf now so. that's something. poe isn't moving though. too caught up in his gayness. ]

[ finn feels like he's maybe trying to run into a brick wall, too. he's at the point where he literally can't think of a simpler way to put it. they're hitting an impasse based on different fundamental understandings of how the universe works.

what the hell is this, some sort of "unconditional" love and support and unwavering belief that he matters? that's fake as hell. finn's not any less scared, but he can't make himself get mad either. even though poe is clearly on the wrong end of this. he can't find another argument to raise.

he just kinda. he just kinda feels really sad. and like he would probably catch an actual grenade for this guy. QUIT TRYING TO MAKE FINN CRY IN A SPACE DENNYS? 2k18? ]

It's not like I want... [ okay no he still can't make himself say he doesn't want to go back. he knows he will somehow. he came out knowing, and if he says it out loud something bad will obviously happen, that's how it works. wanting doesn't matter for a dang.

he shakes that train of thought out of his head, and it leaves him with the dumb soft train of thought instead, which is arguably even worse for him. but like. at least he can actually make himself say it. ] I don't know what to do with that.

[ UNSTOPPABLE FORCE MEETS IMMOVABLE OBJECT. it's fine. they're fine. everything is fine dog.jpg.

he finally lets go of finn's hand ... but it's so he can touch his face again, fingers brushing against his cheek. it's a brief motion, not a lingering one. ]

You just ... you just accept it, buddy. You don't have to do anything with it.

[ that's how love works. but he stops himself short of that, because as many ridiculous romantic-type declarations as he's made in the last few minutes alone, he can't bring himself to pull the l-word (lesbians. lesbians, clearly) out there in the open because it still hurts too much. finn wouldn't know how to take it, and he wouldn't know how to handle finn not taking it. poorly, probably. cryfest 2k18 part 2.

now that he is in possession of both his hands again, he turns his attention to the cup of caf at his side and takes a drink. what he actually needs is like ... hard alcohol to deal with this hot mess. but he doesn't have any and it's probably not on the menu (is it?), so. ]

[as soon as finn stops kissing him and he regains .05 percent of his mental faculties, poe picks up where he left off in grabbing finn's shirt (aka his shirt that finn stole, thanks) and pulling it off, hastily flinging it aside. now they match in indecency.

also: finn is still sitting on top of him and that's unacceptable, so he he shoves him all the way down onto the floor, shifting to be the one on top. he uses one arm to support himself hovering over finn, letting his bandaged arm chill pressed against his chest like no you gotta stay down. where is he going with this? joke's on you he hasn't decided yet.]

[ flagrantly unfair. consider finn Shook.

he doesn't want to want stuff and he's not supposed to have nice things and poe is ruining everything and he hates him. he doesn't hate him. he has zero drops of anything close to hatred in him for poe.

he feels kinda bad for not having his shit together? sometimes this dude just looks so sad, wtf. ]

I just told you what I think about you giving me things.

[ it's weirdly not him arguing?? it's like an evolved form of not-arguing where he's trying to admit that poe has given him the Thing. the Emotions. he guesses they're just gonna be there and he can't make poe stop having them.

he immediately slams half his caf mess hall style because he doesn't give a fuck. HOT? WHO CARES, THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE TRAINED YOURSELF TO TOLERATE OVER YEARS OF DRINKING DRINKS, SO GUN IT. ]

[ way to interrupt the plan that finn-- who am i kidding, finn had literally no idea what his plan was, either. he was just gonna wing it.

anyway we all know poe just wanted to pull off another chest grab without it being a "finn maybe don't volunteer to help luke pvp the entire first order right now" necessity, it's fine. finn's maybe a little surprised. poe looks hot from most angles anyway though, so where's the loss. he still kinda raises his eyebrows and pulls a quick face like "i mean i do like the goods but what now, flips mcgee", to be an ass about it.

additionally: i hope poe is ready for the gayest goddamned face-touch of his life. because it's happening. finn has BOYFRIEND LIBERTIES now and he's gonna exercise his RIGHT to pap a hand up there and cradle the hell out of the side of poe's face like the lovestruck sap he is.

there's not enough dignity left in the galaxy to salvage you once you've papped your hand up there and thought something like wait holy shit this one is mine tbh. but here he is. it's probably taking up his entire expression, GROSS. ]

[it's true, he did kind of just want to touch. it's a nice chest okay and now it's not even covered by clothes or anything. all his.

all of his insides essentially liquify when finn touches his face. it's so nice and he's so nice, and look at his face. his face! finn loves him so much and poe loves him back so much it's disgusting and embarrassing. there's a warmth welling up inside him, and it spills out in the dopey-ass completely lovestruck grin he gives back. someone help them, they're hopeless.

he collapses against finn's chest, sorry about your face touches. maybe he just wants to lie here for a second, listening to finn's heartbeat. that good shit. kind of thinking about going down on him, kind of thinking about staying right here forever. life is a struggle. ]

[he smiles a little; a slight thing completely to himself because he knows he won, he got finn to accept his feelings and he won and now he's invincible. all those years of being stubborn and unrelenting were just training for this moment, when he met someone just as bullheaded as him and had to fight him on something. but he won.

there was probably a comeback on his lips, because bantering is his jam, but it's lost when finn just downs that caf like he has never had a drink of anything before in his life. his expression is very this. ~~is finn the khaleesi??? fire cannot kill a dragon??????~~ no you know what he's not going to say anything because he's not rude. he just ... gave finn more screencaps for his gallery, i guess. and drink his own caf like a normal person.

and now he's going to actually look at this menu. there are omelets. maybe he'll have an omelet. that sounds like a food that's edible. ]

Well, now I'm giving you food. You can get whatever you want.

[ this romance has made finn too powerful. he's felling pilots in one swoop. boner town can wait for a minute bc they've got Romance Action.

T B H HE'S KINDA GLAD POE FLOPS DOWN?? he can't look at that smile in the face and not smile, and somehow big gooby smiles are where he draws the line on himself today. he's smiling like a big-ass loser up here but HE'S NOT A SMILER AND NO ONE CAN PROVE IT

anyway yeah they're ruined. he can't tell if they're good or terrible at this. ]

So, good first date? [ he can't make poe get back up here where he can get a hand in his pants or something, but he can still have a nice time while poe is being especially gay on his chest. ] Got a little bloody for my taste.

[he just fucking laughs like that was the funniest thing anyone has ever said in the entire galaxy. like maybe he is on the spice right now. but he's not, he just loves finn so much it's stupid as hell.]

I never thought I'd be so happy to get a piece of metal stuck in my arm.

[100% true facts. now he has to save that welding apparatus so that someday in the future when they adopt some scrappy orphans, he can show it to them when he launches into his own how i met your mother story.]

[ finn's gallery is gayer and stranger than ever. and yes, the space prince theory is canon now, he was stolen from dragon planet and they miss him very much.

he looks at his menu and figures, probably none of this is gonna taste like chalk dust. that's kind of cool? and he can cross like half of this stuff off of his options list because he has no idea what the hell it is, which leaves him with...... still maybe too many options, if he lets himself take in the full picture. it's not the biggest menu out there it's just like damn. what. he just gets to choose what he has for whatever meal this technically is???

he's not gonna think about it too much. that's literally the only way he's going to get through anything that poe says or does or tries to give him. maybe he can pick a sandwich or something and hope that they don't ask a lot of questions about what he wants on it. it's on the menu. he shouldn't have to pick stuff, right, it should just come with what's on the menu. ]

[i believe it, finn is a beautiful space dragon prince and that's why everyone is in love with him.

yeah no this is space denny's not the space cheesecake factory; the menu is a short and manageable length. for brevity's sake, the waitress has been sort of watching them like what on earth is this gay ass soap opera (it's a slow day ok what else are u gonna do) and when they look like they're looking at the menu and not holding hands and face touching, she comes back to take their orders. poe is still having an omelet, and if finn tries to order a sandwich she won't make him answer hard questions like how he wants things because she honestly could not give less of a shit. she's got a hot date to see a holo after her shift. it's fine. she will ask if he wants another caf tho bc ... uh. that was fast. you can do it, finn. get that interaction with other people on the outside. you're doing great, sweetie.

now that there's been a lapse in their gayness, poe is left staring at the table like it's the great abyss like, what is this. this is my life now. what a mess. ]

[ from here ]

what's that? you like me?

[DEFLECTING. with flirty banter. or at least, he's making a valiant attempt.]

[ the first weeks upon their return from hathaway's service had been ... rocky. snoke's death, and shortly thereafter luke skywalker's, had destabilized both the first order and the resistance. it was thrawn's guidance, not kylo ren, who had been the one to show them how to re-establish order.

as it turned out, kylo ren's ability for strategem capped out at "point every gun we have at that man." even rey could see the lack of wisdom in such a tactic.

from there, it had been easy to enlist her into the service of the first order. she had seen a need, and a power that if properly controlled might really do what thrawn had suggested it might. improve the galaxy. she knew little, yet, of politics and diplomacy, but she had the heart of a resistance fighter and the position of the now-deposed supreme leader ren and the prowess of her closest advisor, thrawn.

with these, she could do anything.

even bring poe, finn, and the remainder of the resistance to heel. they'd tried to turn against her, afraid that she had been lost to the promise of power. but she knew how to find them.

why, leia herself had been the one to give her directions.

the blue binary beacon blinks in the cold, dark space of the resistance base on crait. she has chased poe into it, let her stormtroopers wreak havoc on their friends. those who surrender won't be harmed. but there is, of course, the unlikelihood of their surrender.

she appeals to the one person who might still evoke it. ]

You can stop this, Poe. Call them off.

You can stop this! [off to a very mature start.] C'mon, Rey ... I know you're better than this. You don't have to do this.

[ his time with hathaway had shaped him, maybe not necessarily for the better. it was harder with leia gone, the chain of command passing on to him solely by the nature of the chain being so small at this point. but he'd been doing his best, trying to make the right calls. not always succeeding. sometimes feeling like his hands were a little too dirty.

but it was okay, right? because it was for the bigger picture. this is what leia would have wanted. maybe if he told himself that enough times, it would be true.

despite whatever had come to pass, he still wanted to believe in rey. he couldn't give up; he was born without the giving up gene. and maybe, maybe if he could reach her ... she could turn. and everything would be okay. he could turn it around. the entire war. everything would be worth it, because he'd managed to do that much.]

You're right. I am better.

[ she drops the beacon to the ground and shuts off the deceptively blue beam of her lightsaber. she clips it onto her belt, holding up her hands. see? no harm, no foul. it's not a surrender, but the way someone might pacify an animal they were trying to trap. ]

I'll be better, Poe. [ she reaches one hand towards him, in offering. ] You can help me.

[ she's quite sure by now that he won't just take it, but she has to try. she has to give him that chance. she owes it to him, even if he had never given her the chance she'd wanted from him when it had all come out. all blame. judgment. a part of her ached to make that right by receiving his approval now. ]

This is how we win.

[he watches her drop the beacon and shut off her lightsaber, but his hands stay as clenched fists at his sides. not reaching for his blaster (after all, he knew it would be useless. he's not that dumb. and he didn't want to fight her, anyway.) he wanted to trust her, but on some level he knew better. some kind of animal instinct.]

Call off the stormtroopers first.

[he couldn't just think of what was directly in front of him, he had to think of the people around him. dying. he'd gotten slightly better at that.]

Who are you trying to protect?

[ a laugh almost breaks into the words. almost. it's clearly pressing there at the back of her throat, but she's holding it back. she doesn't want to make it sound like she's mocking him, but well. she can't take him seriously, can she? not like this. it's a silly thing, ]

It's Finn, right? You're worried about him. [ she shakes her head. ] He's back on the Supremacy. [ in a softer, more insistent voice. ] He's safe. Just like I promised he would be.

[ no harm from snoke. no death. but ... no freedom, either. ]

Poe, it's me. It's Rey.

[his expression hardens as her utters the name, his jaw clenching. finn. she knew how he felt about finn, how much he meant to him, and she still took him prisoner. he tried to push it down, how much it hurt. how painful it was to not barge onto the supremacy with his blaster and 50% of a plan and just take him back. because 1) it would be certain death, most likely, and 2) the resistance needed him. he was what's left. he was the spark. save his sorrow for later. or maybe never. never feel anything again.]

The Rey I know wouldn't lock up her best friend like some animal. Call them off.

[he's angry, for sure, but it's not the sort of impassioned rage he used to throw at anybody who wanted to disagree with him. it's sharper ... with something else behind it. tiredness.]

[ she holds his gaze for a long moment's silence after that. to some extent it is merely a show of her power. to let the battle carry out while he refuses her. rey has grown accustomed to displaying her power when she needs it.

then, slowly, she turns her head and raises her voice. ]

Stop.

[ and they do. just like that. she looks back at poe. ]

They answer to me. You think I would let any one of them harm him? Finn is not my prisoner. [ i mean sure he has no weapons and he can't leave, but that's for his sake. he's the one who wouldn't stop trying to kill ben. ] He's my guest.

We can end this war right now. You and I. [ she holds out her hand and for a minute it looks like she's offering it again, but this time it's

a gesture at the ground. ] Surrender. Stop this.

[ as long as it doesn't end with "and then idk i guess finn randomly died and i married my ex-girlfriend from season one" i'm sure it'll be a beautiful story for their scrappy orphan children. ]

Yeah, I'm sure there aren't a million better ways we could've managed it.

[ finn it really only works to argue if you sound like you're arguing. it's just not working now. anyway i can't believe poe is on the spice of love. ]

Yeah, I've been a First Order guest before, I'm sure he's being treated great.

[he purses his lips. does he think finn is being tortured? probably not. but he doesn't think he'd enjoy being denied the thing poe knew he'd wanted most — freedom. it was cruel. maybe a sort of torture in its own way.

he glances away, watching the stormtroopers stand down, but the tension in his posture stays the same. it's not real peace. he can't trust it. he shakes his head.]

You know that I can't. I told you before. I'll never stop. Even if the Resistance is just me, I'll still keep fighting.

[and then she'll kill him. but at least he'll die knowing he did the right thing to the very end.]

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poe & rey tfln cont.

you know what this is

👌

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