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WISH LIST
★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus
★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions
★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him
★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia
★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships
kinks if ya nasty
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this is also already becoming a banner day for finn's praise kink tbh. poe can't see his face what with it being squashed into him, but finn catches a grin and it doesn't stop spreading until it's hit the full ear-to-ear span. it was like five words but he loves poe so much and he's keeping them forever thank u poe. he's easy. ]
I think you might be biased.
[ does he sound even slightly serious? no. he doesn't. ]
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[ 16 words, so ... practically a shakespearean soliloquy. it was really hard to stay on task with the words for that long, okay. but they were important. and yeah maybe he can sense finn eating up the praise without even looking at his dumb face so he wanted to feed the fire a little bit. fed the fire and now he's going to nuzzle the curve of his neck. maybe kiss him there. yep.
also, what is he "an authority" on??? people???? amazingness??? don't think about it, he didn't.]
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finn likes praise okay wow his face is not dumb. (its dumb.) it's nice to have someone just go "you're good and a good person and i like you". and not like "good job on the training you were adequate". as a dry sponge rolling around in the affection ocean, he digs it.
poe's poe-try is beautiful. not eloquent. but good, in the headrush chest-warming way. except maybe the "finn finn" thing but he's positive that's not on any legal paperwork, and on one bright side, it's poe saying his name two whole times, raging against how distracting it is to be shirtless.
don't worry poe he has your back. literally. he keeps running his hand up and down it like someone who got really high and walked into a fabric store. it's the poe-spice. the compliment-spice. ]
Good. Otherwise you'd just be the best person I know. Sounds a little one-sided that way.
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anyway, now it's poe's turn to be verklempt with some equally goofy-ass grin that finn can't see. it's not like he's never received a compliment before. he should not be this stupid emotional. but ... it's like when your friends compliment you like "cool shirt" and you take it at face value like thanks susan but then your crush says "cool shirt" and it's Imbued with Meaning.
not to mention that ... well, he doesn't think he's the worst person, but he isn't delusional enough to think he's the best. he's pretty good; self-esteem is clearly not a problem for him, but he's aware that he has flaws. he keeps getting slapped for those flaws, which really drives it home. but here's finn saying he's the best with sincerity and it's just
it's a lot, okay. just like finn's hand roaming around are a lot. it's emotional and sensory overload. can humans short circuit? what does that look like? he pulls finn close with his hands pressed against his back, going more for "i want to hold you close and never let you go and maybe if we try real hard we can fuse together into a single entity" more than wandering around. he just did that, it was great. maybe he'll go in for round two in a minute. when he's not working on more mouth words.]
I'm not... you're so good. You're good, and it's like ... I'm just trying to be good, and you really are.
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he's so proud of his dumb boyfriend and his mouth words. trying to fuse into a single entity sounds like the ideal endgame solution here. if they're a single entity they'll never have to be separated again even when the war is back on its bullshit. they'll just be one thing, it's perfect, it's poetic cinema.
even though poe clearly has it backwards. maybe that's an alpha thing. or a bond thing. find your omega, immediately decide they're the best and most good thing in the galaxy. or a poe "extra" dameron thing. that could just be the kind of person poe is.
not that finn can judge because no, he's pretty sure poe really is one of the best people in the galaxy, hands-down. because reasons. he'll meet someone in the pit over it. ]
No, I'm definitely just trying, too. Don't worry.
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anyway man he loves finn so much. still working on this holding him forever thing. also the words thing still. but the words thing is hard and he's just going to fucking make note of it:]
I feel like ... it's really hard to think around you. Do you feel like that?
[no poe, he doesn't, that's why you've had nonstop enlightening philosophical discourse for the last who knows how long. smdh.]
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Yeah. But who needs to think that much? [ is it actually a joke when neither of them thinks about almost anything until after they ride an impulse wave and get halfway through it, or is it just an affirmation of the ride or die lifestyle? lbr. throw thinking on the ground. get your other half shirtless on a top bunk while you're not being shot at.
he moves his face exactly enough to give poe a little bite on the shoulder. for emphasis?? idk. probably not. he just wants to. ]
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or at least he was trying to pretend; his already tenuous train of thought gets slammed into like the train in murder on the orient express when the avalanche hits it. only the avalanche is finn biting him. he actually gasps a little, and decides to double down on whatever he was doing before, which was probably ... kissing finn??? was he doing that? maybe. can't remember what was even happening five seconds ago, but it's fine. he loves finn so much it's like his heart is going to explode out of his chest. his body is not an adequate container for all of his Feelings.
he kisses finn's shoulders and his neck, exploring some new territory besides his face. revisiting some old territory. what if he bites his neck again for old time's sake? i say that like he puts any thought into it and doesn't just go for it. can you double down on the mating bond thing? what happens? who knows and/or cares. maybe that's what he's into. just screaming "mine mine this one is absolutely mine" to everyone in the room, aka all these air molecules who are already acutely aware.]
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what if they both just crack open right here and actually fuse together and then they can cope with being physically unable to contain these swells of affection together, as a unit. yeah. yeah that tracks.
words are no longer on his personal agenda.
in light of his brain scrambling to even come up with the most rudimentary of specific thoughts, let alone ship them all the way from thought to word, finn tips his head to the side to give poe more access instead. it's the most "yours yours yours" gesture in his arsenal, instinct that can survive the most sudden southward migration of bloodflow. take that u dumb air molecules, never doubt them again, u absolute fools. ]
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he forgets himself for a moment, drowning in impulses. his nails dig into finn's back. he tries to get back into what he was doing, more with the kissing, but he can't ... focus. his breath is heavy. feeling the way finn relaxes against him makes him want something else. more. still taking more.
he pushes finn back down against the bed. they were upright long enough to take their shirts off and now it's time to lay down again. except he's not laying down, he's still sitting up and sort of maneuvers into a better position so he can just … take finn's pants off. rip them off like he is still in some clothing removal contest. realistically, this was going to happen sooner or later in their endeavor to be As Close As Possible. ]
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anyway hell yeah, pants off, forget pants, they're dumb. finn tries to be as helpful in this process as he can. helpful kinda amounts to raising his hips at some point, so they maybe don't get snagged and cost valuable clothing removal speed-run time. vital importance for the quest to be Touching.
the real problem now is that poe is All The Way Up There. finn has a cunning and revolutionary plan. which is, to try sitting up enough to get back in proximity, where he can also try to help poe with the burden of his own belt or button or zipper or whatever might be in the way of making pants less of a barrier.
i mean tbh i can't guarantee how coordinated this effort turns, because he's riding a hell of a fresh wave of good vibes right now and is, in fact, half-man half-compliant noodle. those are the scientific terms. basically he's here for poe-spice and dick bc they are clearly his legal and biological rights. literally everything else in the galaxy is no longer a priority. ]
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look, he appreciates the effort made, okay. finn sitting up and helping him with his pants is a treasure that should be cherished. he rewards him with a kiss, but also he's got this fam. he pushes him back down again — forcefully but not exactly rough — because he can finish what finn started, taking a second to lay back down and shimmy out of his pants like a snake shedding its skin. all the pants are going off the bed and joining the newly established clothes mountain on the floor.
this time it's gonna be different. because ... okay well he's not completely control of his brain, his brain is temporarily out of service until he gets off the finn-spice someday, but his brain is in a slightly better place than it was during his rut. finn is his omega and he's gotta take care of him and like ... not just think about himself. finn is almost practically himself at this point so it's all good. he's got this. he presses down on top of him, grinding just for the friction of it before doing anything else. ah yes. skin-on-skin contact with zero clothes in the way really is the best way to get as close as possible. they're doing it. living the dream.]
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skin-on-skin contact: good. revolutionary. grinding: also good and revolutionary, judging by the exhale he stutters out. this is what the kids call a great opportunity for finn to get his hands onto poe's back, like a graceful latch-on jellyfish who is at least partially convinced that this is the number one way to keep poe from being Too Far Away. literally just hold him in place, sounds legit. that's the true ticket to the bone zone.
when his brain come back online, finn is going to fondly remember how great he is at thinking in words pretty much anytime poe isn't around. ]
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also: he's all about that jellyfish life, okay. latch onto him, he's into it. he'd also rather not go anywhere too far away, as in leaving as much as a whole millimeter of space between them. but sometimes that millimeter has to happen, because he's going to press his hand between them, basically reaching down to literally feel out the situation down there. the status of finn's hole. maybe finger him a little bit. still kind of grinding some because multitasking is cool, even if it's not a specialty of his.]
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he was promised no millimeters of space, by himself, and necessity is unfair. he'll have to suffer and make this bold sacrifice. and shove his face into poe to smell him, yet again. he's short on breath and the only solution is to close all possible distance and enjoy the reasons he's short on breath in the first place.
finn also shifts his hips and goes above and beyond the call of duty to clench around poe's fingers while he's in the neighborhood. look, it's an opportunity and he's taking it. maybe he's just that horny on main. maybe he just wants to be that extra. maybe it's maybelline.
regardless, the landing zone is well on its way to being clear for black one, aka we all know that's what poe named his dick, to make its landing approach. ]
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poe is like that's hot, hell yeah i'm ready to do this. he's into it. everyone is horny on main here. deciding that he's hard enough, he goes for it and enters him, going kind of slow until finn bottoms out. realistically this is probably as close as they're going to get to fusing into one entity, so it's definitely awesome as hell. all the cells in his body yelling at him to get and remain as close to finn as possible approve. that feel when you're not even having a heat or a rut and you're just Like This.
as horrifying as it is to put literally any space between them, his body's like yeah ok buddy if you wanna have sex there's a little more involved than just laying there. all these noble sacrifices for having a good time. he plants his hands on either side of finn and lifts himself up to be in a better angle for all the thrusting he wants to do. this is better than the wall. not just because of the obvious (rushed rut sex against the wall on the finalizer????) but also like, he can watch finn's face. check that shit out. amazing.
only downside: he's no longer pressed against finn's neck taking in his scent. like yeah okay he can still smell him obviously but it's not the same. that said, it's not like their scents aren't all combined in the air all over the place anyway. probably letting everyone who even thinks about coming near the bunks know that there is a Situation going on over here and they should tape the area off and all sleep on the big round couch.]
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you know what, this is definitely different from the wall. it's a little slower, a little closer. there's no threat of imminent death looming over them. different is good. finn is obviously never going back to rushed, semi-public, and non-romantic biological crisis sex against a wall again. now he's spoiled by mutual feelings and locations more comfortable than walls and floors.
anyway they're gonna make it through these trials of grave separation. because they're into having this good time. like, finn's the quiet type but he's got an expressive face, and the way his breath keeps hitching, plus everything that rolls across his face, says he's really into it.
plus he is gonna facilitate their survival. he can keep doing his best jellyfishing, by sort of hooking his ankles around the backs of poe's legs, and moving one hand from poe's back to more of an in-poe's-hair position. the true bright side is, nobody can kinkshame him for liking to make direct eye contact mid-dicking. he can unabashedly stare right back at poe like he is actively in the process of looking at the best thing in the universe, it's fine. no bias here. everyone brings their own kinks to the party. ]
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speaking of, poe is a little ... not taken aback, but mildly surprised at all the direct eye contact? but after less than a second he decides that he's into it. let's do this. continue staring at each other like we are the only thing in the other's universe. sounds good. he's into all this additional jellyfishing contact, too. finn is so good. they just have an innate understanding of what the other is all about.
he doesn't really make noise, either, but his breathing is actively loud and heavy as he gets a good rhythm going. there's still a baseline of alpha-oriented instincts in the back of his head — he's yours, this is yours, etc — but it's at a much lower, manageable volume. more than anything else, he's still overwhelmed with just how much he loves finn. it sort of consuming his whole being in a way that's intoxicating but terrifying.
you know what else is going to be different from sex against the wall 2k18? something he is going to make a deliberate effort to correct? he's going to remember finn's dick this time. true romance. his hand slides in between them again, this time looking for said dick and starting to pump slowly, trying to sync in with everything else. he's got this. he can multitask. there's not that much actual thought required for it.]
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a not-insignificant part of him is pretty sure that this is like the full extent of what he's supposed to be doing in this lifetime. wrapping himself around poe at all opportunities and thinking about how good his face is, giving him everything he ever wants which could in fact include the moon, or kylo ren's head on a platter. and honestly, telling that part of himself that it's being super impractical can wait until later.
poe using his +1 romantic boning stat pulls a definite sound out of finn, somewhere low in his throat, and his hand goes from "in poe's hair" to "very securely gripping the back of poe's neck" to accommodate for. idk. extra gay feelings.
"i'm discerning about finn content quality" i said on plurk, then typed that last thing with zero hesitation. what is the truth.
finn's revolutionary idea here is, what if he uses his dumb ability to move his body, and lifts his head. is he looking for the smooch? is he looking for the forehead touch? great questions, even he doesn't know yet. finn's the name and proximity is just the game. at all times. ]
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finn's face comes up closer to his own and poe is like oh we could??? make out and bone at the same time???? finn is a visionary. holy shit. he's already juggling trying to give finn a handjob with keeping his hips going to maintain his own boning situation, but he's willing to throw another element into the mix. he make a couple attempts at kissing finn, each time a messy thing with spit and teeth clacking against each other. but still kind of attractive. okay, so maybe actual making out isn't going to happen.
that's fine. there's still staring at finn, taking in every since inch of his face with not exactly the same intensity, but definitely with admiration. finn feels safe, and he'd do anything to keep finn safe, including but not limited to going pvp with every single member of the first order. they'll put kylo ren's head on a platter together; it'll be a great date night.
his breath is hot against finn's mouth since their faces are still pressed against each other and there's not really anywhere else for it to go. he's still taking this — boning overall — at a leisurely pace, not slow but also not rushes because they're not in danger of dying any time soon. also, he knots in, that's probably something that happens because of biology. ]
comes back with the gay inception noise
poe always tries. it doesn't matter what he's doing. he puts everything into it.
and every time that finn's asked him for something, for help or answers or time, he's given as much of it as he can. poe is always trying to give. he gives himself to the people around him. he's given finn more than anyone else ever has.
with poe, it's the first time the alpha and omega thing hasn't sounded like an elaborate way to put "someone controls someone else." which is kinda the way the first order likes to put it, because how else do you justify telling thousands of soldiers to slam those suppressants and just write off biology altogether. get crushed under the fascist boot and controlled equally. clearly the best way to live.
with poe, it's easy to forget it and think about how much he wants this. to be so close they're practically sharing breath, to be pressed against him as much as is physically possible, forehead-to-forehead, body-to-body. to feel poe knotting in and close his eyes, let his breaths turn ragged on the inhales. ]
Just like that.
[ i mean congrats poe he sounds fuckin wrecked?? shame is fake and he will beg if he has to. not sure if this counts as like a pre-emptive begging actually. since ig the idea is to please do not, at this juncture, stop, because he will punch you on the arm and then take care of his own dang self. anyway, sometimes i'm glad i rp finn purely bc once he's made the elective decision that a person basically puts the stars in the sky every night he's hella easy.
he can't be afraid of belonging to someone that also belongs to him. the One Fear meme might have kicked in now and again, after he found out poe wasn't dead on jakku somewhere. on principle. but the thing is when it goes two ways, it's a lot more like belonging with somebody. and when it's poe dameron you're belonging with, everything immediately gets ten times less terrifying as a concept bc poe is great like that. Not That He's Biased. ]
clutches my chest
he sees some of that in finn. he really appreciates that part of finn. it's complementary to him, but different in its own way. the same destination that took a different path to be there. he was shaped into selflessness by his parents, by his upbringing, by a world that hadn't tried to crush him. he was a flower that got to grow in a nice well-tended garden
and finn was a flower who still somehow managed to grow out of a crack in the concrete. he came out good when he had no reason to, nothing and no one to guide him toward being that way. he was good just because that was how he was. innately.
that was worth more. to poe, anyway.
true, some of this might be … poe building finn up in his own head. putting him on a pedestal. thinking things like he decided to stick with the resistance out of the goodness of his heart and not just because it was a convenient place to run away to. not seeing his flight risk nature for what it is either because he's unable or unwilling.
to him, it's all small stuff. minor details. he can see the big picture, the picture where finn is good and brave and the best person in the entire galaxy, and he knows that's true. he's as sure of it as he's ever been sure of anything, and he tends to be very sure of most of the thoughts he thinks.
he hadn't wanted to commit himself to the whole alpha/omega dichotomy because he'd thought it'd be like giving something up. giving away some part of himself to someone else, having some sort of duty or responsibility when all he wanted was to give his entire self to the resistance. he couldn't be as blindly reckless as he wanted if there was another person holding him back.
but it wasn't like that at all? he was wrong. so wrong. finn was like him in the broad strokes, in the ways that mattered, the impulse and action, but he was more realistic. more grounded. not in a way that made poe feel held back, but in a way that made him feel just better. sharper. full 100. completed.
kind of like how he feels right now, in the throes of everything. something about the ragged edges of finn's voice sends a shiver down his spine.]
Always.
[what kind of ??? dramatic ??? i mean, it's fine, he's dramatic. it's on-brand. and he means it. he's gonna be personally responsible for giving finn that good d, always for the rest of forever.
he can feel the fuse already lit inside him, the feverishness building to something more. where he had a purposeful boning pace before, he becomes more erratic. harder with both the thrusting and pumping at finn's dick, wanting to chase after the intensity of the feeling.]
Finn —
[he felt the need to tell him he was going to climax soon. but the words aren't making it out — which is par for the course, really. but he likes saying his name. how it sounds in his mouth. his name, the one he gave him that no one could ever take away.]
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it's worth losing the steady rhythm to feel poe's hand tighten, the way his thrusts start hitting home harder.
it's definitely worth hearing the way he says his name. how many heads on how many platters to ensure that he gets to hear poe say his name that way many times over the course of years. because his name is the first and best thing poe ever gave him, and poe gave it to him, and it sounds about a hundred times better right now than it possibly ever has. it's like it travels the length of his body, a tiny zap of electricity.
finn responds immediately, some kind of guttural moan that might have been conceptualized as a word once upon a time? probably something similar to yeah, but the truth is lost to time. it just falls out of him like it's been waiting for its chance this whole time, before he can help it.
his breath starts to cut short. his fingers spasm a little where he's gripping the back of poe's neck, like they're somehow gonna find more solid purchase than they already had. he forces his eyes back open, because it makes it better, because he wants to see--
so don't worry fam he's got this. finn will finish first in the orgasm race today, with what can only be called an involuntary upward twitch, as if it is somehow possible to get poe any closer or any deeper into him at this particular point in time. rational thought about things that are physically impossible can wait for another day. dumb carnal animal brain wins this time. ]
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it's funny how the scope of the world narrows down, how the only sensation in the entire universe is finn's hand trying to dig into his neck for dear life. another singular sensation crashes the party and it's finn's body spasming against his own. a wave of satisfaction rolls through him; he did that, he made finn come and no one man should have all that power.
there's a sharp intake of breath followed by his hips bucking against finn's a couple times as he follows suit. his mind goes all white and static-y as he comes hard inside finn, finishing with one final weak jolt as he collapses against him.
ah yes, the void of the afterglow. he's just kind of enjoying the moment. not bothered at all by the stickiness of finn-jizz pressed between them mixing with the sweat. there's a calmness now. he feels at ease. all his cells were like "HOLD HANDS WITH FINN'S CELLS" and now they're like "yeah that's close enough good job." ]
That was ... we should do that forever.
[/romance. he tried.]
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but this is good. that instant feeling of accomplishment when poe's hips jerk, enough to ride out a little bit of aftershock. and the way the frenzy of it dissipates, the way poe flops down right on top of him, warm and knotted in. the legend of zelda chest-opening music of being an omega is successfully taming the d and getting the knot, and we all know it. finn relinquishes his neck grip in favor of carding his fingers through poe's hair a little.
this is much better than the finalizer. they can chill and be chill, and finn can ride the waves of his own "everything is cool and safe rn" high without the "someone is going to call you a traitor and murder you" possibility tempering it. ]
Might have to reschedule a few things. [ but it's not like.... a bad hypothetical. boning forever. he'd run that marathon if they didn't have to turn down for what for a war. ]
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