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WISH LIST
★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus
★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions
★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him
★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia
★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships
kinks if ya nasty
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he's still not really thinking. he tried to regain some kind of handle on thinking, really think about what he's saying or doing, but it's too hard. it's like trying to do math in a dream. there's too much in the way. too many hormones and sensations. every time she shifts against his knot is a reminder that he's still inside her. there was so much hesitance in the way she reprimanded him for disregarding finn, in the way that she squirms like she wants to break free. looking away from him.
but then she gives in. he can feel it. the snap of something changing. relenting. ]
I will. [he kisses her on the mouth, then goes back to where he'd been before, with his face pressed against her neck. he kisses over where he drew blood biting her. does he think that will ease any discomfort she's feeling? probably not. but he gets to take in her scent, which is his main priority.
his. she's his. he shifts on top of her, letting his muscles relax, longing to melt into her. every inch of her is his and he wants to rub his scent all over her until everyone else knows it, too. erase any trace of kylo ren that might have been left behind. kylo ren abandoned her and now she's his. ]
I'll take care of you, okay? You don't ever have to be alone again.
[ ♬ we'll never have problems again.mp3 ]
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It keeps her from fully submerging in the warm afterglow of his knot, even now that she has surrendered to wanting to call herself his. She cannot really be his. There is a thin, rumbling tension in her biology that tells her she should be ashamed of herself for trying to take another mate. She tries to hush it, desperately. ]
Poe. [ It's caught somewhere between anguish and relief, a moan that she buries in his neck in turn, wrapping her arms around him so that she can stay here, cling to him, to this. He knows all the right words, this alpha. He can take care of her. He can fix what is so terribly broken in her, or at least, he wants to do his best to. ] Promise me.
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anyway, look at her. she's so sad and alone and lost. what kind of alpha would abandon his omega like that? it's unforgivable. the thought of it sets a sharp shock of anger through his thoughts, even through the haze of the afterglow. he is 100 percent down for fighting kylo ren for rey's honor. he'll meet him in the pit and tear him apart with his bare hands. ]
I promise. [ he repeats it again, piling on the sincerity. ] I'm gonna take such good care of you. We'll make it right. I'm gonna make it right. [ read: i'm going to murder kylo ren. ]
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A good question which is 100% lost to her right now in the haze of yesgoodmoreplease. Poe offering to take care of her is like heroin right now, and the promise has her humming and nipping at the scratchy underside of his jaw. She squeezes around his knot, a pulse bringing with it a fresh deluge of slick, spurred on by his commitment.
Poe was the ideal alpha. Solid. Brave. Aggressive. Poe would protect their family, her family. Poe and Finn would be her family. It sets in with a sudden, warm rush. She makes her way up to his mouth for a heady kiss, tasting him, drinking him down. It's silent gratitude. Appreciation. ]
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you know what he's into now? murder talk. thinking about doing a murder for rey is The Good Shit. it's prepping him for round two. the thought of doing something for rey, proving himself and showing that he could protect her ... it gives him a rush like he just did a hit of the good spice. (speaking of, when he breaks the kiss, his face finds its way back to her neck to take in the undiluted scent from her mating gland. mix the blood from her lip with the blood from her neck. it's all the same blood, it's fine.
she didn't ask for it but here's some Pillow Talk.]
You know what I'm gonna do? [ he breathes the words against her neck. ] I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find Kylo Ren, and I'm going to kill him. Because he left you. He treated you like nothing, and you're not. You're too good for him. You're mine. Nobody's ever gonna hurt you like that again. I'm gonna tear him apart.
[ he's not even envision using a blaster. he's like yeah i'm just dead ass gonna tear him apart with my bare hands watch me yeet. ]
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Ben would bite and scratch and devour her too. There would be aggression and violence and hunger. But the balance is wrong. She had fallen into Ben for the way he nurtured her — the promise that he'd care for his omega and she'd never want for anything again.
It's Poe's words that clears up the picture. The focus on violence, on hurting Ben. Hurting her mate. Her whole body revolts against it. Dead. Dead dead dead. You got your mate killed. She feels suddenly, violently ill with it, a whole-body kind of anxiety that has her lungs tightening and her stomach twisting and her head spinning.
She pushes Poe out of her neck. She hadn't thought protecting their family would mean killing her mate, though the logical progression there is obvious. The conflicting signals are ugly. No, don't upset Alpha, he's helping you. and Enemy, enemy, threatened your mate; your mate wouldn't have left if you'd been a good Omega. ]
Stop. [ The scramble to shove him away from her neck becomes more desperate and determined. ] Stop.
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damn. sometimes he gets a lil too intense he can't help it. who he is as a person + those potent alpha hormones makes for a dangerous combo. a serial killer special. he lifts his head away from her neck, concern lining his features. a small trace of blood still on his lips. he just wanted to make her happy, to protect her ... this was not the desired outcome. ]
I'm — I'm sorry. [ he comes down from the high and reverts to something closer to himself for a minute there. that was a nice bucket of ice water dumped over his head. ]
I just want to protect you.
[ why was that wrong? why was he being punished for instinct?
one part of his brain turns the lightbulb on to announce "this never would have happened with finn." and it was right. he knew his brain was right. finn was something, someone custom-made for him. maybe this ... all of this was him trying too hard. ]
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Listen to your alpha apologize. Listen. You've hurt him.
But no. He's not her alpha. They can play at it all they want, and he's a good alpha, a real one, he feels warm and solid and sturdy inside of her, enfolding her, but — Force, he's Finn's. And she is Ben's. For better or worse. It's better to be cold and lonely without him than to taste the poison of trying to replace him. ]
No. [ It's not directed at him, but at the fresh surge of slick between her thighs. It turns to a progressive series of groans, woeful and bemoaning. It's a new wave of heat coming on. No matter what realization they have arrived at, her hormones aren't done with her. ]
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C'mon. C'mon, it's okay.
[ thinking? what is thinking. he's back to trying to do math in a dream. math in a dream where he's also drunk. every time he thinks he can focus enough to look at the numbers, they're all backwards and sideways. it's easier to just give in and move on to round two. maybe things will click into place and normalize as the spend more time with each other. yep. that's gotta be it.
after whispering in her ear, he switches to gently biting at her neck, trailing down to her shoulder. trying to soothe while his body echoes back to her hormones by getting hard. ]
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And therefore, Poe is all she has.
In theory then he is helping her. Providing her with something she needs to make it through this heat, to survive it, to do anything but suffer in the days since it has triggered in her. But it doesn't feel like a favor. It feels double-edged in nature, for in addition to the basic frustration, it also soothes her, and that in turn makes her feel more disgusted with herself for letting it satisfy her.
She's wrong for wanting it, but she can't stop it from allowing it to fulfill that need, and incrementally the part of her mind that feels wrong for wanting it gets quieter, instincts waking up to accept it fully, to seek out satisfaction and try to drown out the metallic taste of grief, sour and sickly.
So she dissolves into groans, over time, rolling her hips up to try and draw his cock inside of her, to get him deeper inside of her. ]
Please. [ She's not sure what she's asking for, not really. For relief, yes, but relief from him or from the ache burning inside of her, gnawing away at her? ] It hurts.
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there's a pang of guilt about finn, but it doesn't register on the same wavelength as rey's grief. take and more drown out his mixed feelings. i love you sweaty but also i get to do whatever i want and you can deal with it, how about that. ]
Should I —
[ he's not sure what that means, because he's not a mindreader and isn't really using his mind in the first place right now. he can't stop, he doesn't know how. that doesn't even show up in his mental database as an option. does how much she want it hurt? that would make sense. he knows the feeling, lived through it during every rut. that sense of need sharp like a knife. ]
— I can go slower. [ he makes an executive decision that that's what "it hurts" means. he was just being too rough. he tries to be slower and more deliberate in his thrusting. the way his hips strike against hers. it takes like 5% more restraint than he was using, but going slower actually ... feels really good? hm. good observations for later. ]
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Her hormones are like oooh Alpha take care of me. And in that way, she's left lazily doped up by how satisfying it is to have him attend her needs with little more than an announcement of her feelings. She hadn't even needed to ask. He just adjusted for her, taking caution, treating her like something precious. Rey croons.
She loses track of the truth, that it was a spiritual wound as much as physical.
But beyond the fact that he has cared for her, she has found that slow is exactly how she wants it right now. She has never had slow, gentle, loving sex before. Certainly not during a heat. Rey rolls her hips up into his, spreads her legs wider for him, welcomes him in properly now. Her muscles have relaxed for him, welcomed his presence. Accepted the physical need, even in the absence of a proper connection. ]
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at first, it's honestly a little hard to maintain the gentle pace he's started down instead of straight up wrecking her. because he wants to. so much. it's helpfully overpowered by how he wants to take care of her. omega's needs come first. what omega wants, omega gets, etc. once he starts thinking that way, it's fine. it's like he enters a mental flow zone.
he presses his face against her neck again. it helps take the edge off the pure want. is he — oh. he's already feeling another knot start to form. ]
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It's a gradual thing this time. Not shaky and violent, but like slipping underwater, a warmth that rolls over her and drags her under until something shudders in the pit of her stomach and she whimpers and trembles as it pulses through her body, that climax, which only squeezes her tighter around his knot.
The fit makes her cry out. Not the orgasm itself, but the way that it makes his swelling knot feel larger, verging on the pleasant side of painful. She seethes with it, and a profane slew of grateful praise slips out — Thank you, Alpha, thank you thank youthankyou. Little of it coherent. ]
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he comes again — with no refractory time in-between he's left feeling like "wow, that was a lot. was that my all of me?" but it's not a complaint. not really.
with her only maybe 30 percent coherent praise train, he feels the need to respond in kind. let her know what a good omega she was being. and she was good, truly and honestly. why would anyone discard her like that???? it was insane. murder is definitely going to come later. after eating and rehydrating and maybe taking a nap and then fucking for like two more days. then, then. murder. ]
You were so good. You're so good. It's okay, it's okay. You're perfect.
[ no one will ever be able to use this bathroom again. ]
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She has never felt like a good omega until him. Still doesn't, in her rational non-lizard brain. A good omega doesn't steal Finn's alpha away and make him knot her on the floor of the refresher for nine years. But Poe makes her believe it in her heart of hearts (in her hormones of hormones). ]
Thank you, Alpha.
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[ his brain is still undecided on how wrong this is. maybe it's a little wrong, but his instinct is to take and take and rey needed someone to protect her, so? look at her. look at the way she's latching onto him and also onto his every word. ( the part of him that isn't a hormonal mess would probably object with "that's because she's in heat, dipshit." or something like that. whatever.) ]
It's okay. I'd rather you call me by my name.
[ "finn doesn't call me alpha either" is a cool thing he almost says and then bites his tongue on as he thinks better of it. ]
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Poe.
[ She reaches for the name, and then licks at his neck. It feels like she's floating, her heart finally slowing, the panicked ache of her heat resolved into nesting instinct. ]
Whatever you want, Poe.
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When we ... [ before next time. when his knot recedes and they have like five minutes before rey's heat kicks back in. but he doesn't want to think about that right now. he tries, but all he can think about is how blissfully content rey seems right now, and how he doesn't want to ruin that by introducing the idea of him going down the hall real quick. ]
We're gonna need food soon. And water.
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No. Not true. Food had been scarce, once. Now Poe wanted to provide that for her. Help her survive. Rey's actual literal history of starvation wars for a moment with her instincts, trying to reconcile the desperate codependency with the orphaned child living on vegmeat every other day. ]
Don't go, Al— [ She feels a flutter in her chest. No, he's right. He's not her Alpha. Her Alpha is gone, and this is Poe. He's helping, but he's not hers. She whines. ] Poe. Poe, Poe, ask Rose to bring it. Please. I need you.
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she's right. he can comm rose. rose was the one who tried to come at him like "ummm rey's in heat and i think she needs Assistance" while he was already rushing past her leaving a poe-shaped dust cloud behind him. she's complicit in this fuckery. ]
All right. I just gotta … [ the last word comes out with a little strain while he tries to reach for his pants without moving away from her. (or, in actuality, because that is not something he's physically capable of right now.)
the good news for news for everyone is that he manages. he digs his comm out of his pocket and makes his way through asking rose to bring them some lunchables with all the grace of a middle schooler trying to place a prank call. but he did it, and that's what's important. ]
There. She's coming.
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And no wonder. She's reaching that part of heat where Rey as a consciousness is dimmer and Omega Rey is at the wheel, but even Omega Rey is so wrapped up in the strange conflict of wanting to be put-off by Poe's pheromones because he's not her Alpha and wanting to bask in it. ]
Thank you. Thank you. [ Repetitive and needy but genuine. It tells her she's good in all those fluffy nonverbal ways; that she has pleased him and now he's taking care of her. ]
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I told you, it's okay. [ all their conversations are probably going to be some variant of "thank you" and "it's okay" for the next ?? days and yet they won't have the brain cells available to feel any kind of way about it. ] I'm gonna take care of you. Whatever you want.
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It is, however, broken up by Rose bringing them food and looking absolutely at a loss for what to do about the Finn thing. Unfortunately by that time neither of them are in a great place to chat through the serious issue of what the fuck are we gonna tell Finn. It's a fun new wave of heat time, and even with Rose standing there, Rey's keening like the omega in heat that she is and begging Poe to knot her.
Rose bails fast, getting the door shut so Rey's pleas don't echo up and down the hall.
It goes on like this for days. Literally. Let's be honest we don't need to go on and on with it. It's a lot of this. And by the end of it, Rey has stopped her conflicted whining about her alpha, her mate, and completely surrendered to those omega instincts. Which makes lucidity that much more of a bitch when she wakes up from one of her twenty minute comas with the fog piercing and Poe's knot deflated inside of her. ]
Poe. [ She groans, nudging his shoulder. Her mouth is dry. They're out of food and water. Every muscle in her body is like how about we just take three more days to recover after these three days of heat. Still she's jostling him awake too. ]
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but now it's … over?? ? ? he's nudged awake and slowly realizes she's no longer fuck-or-die scented. something in his calms and settles. that calm is immediately replaced with an exhaustion that settles in his bones, but still. ]
Huh? What? [ and then, immediately, instinctually: ] Are you okay?
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