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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

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I mean, if you'd rather go back to interrogation... [ Her tone borders on sarcasm, no hint of an actual threat to be found; she knows very well it's one of the last places he wants to be. Would he be surprised to know she doesn't want him back there either?

As soon as the doctor is finished with her shoulder she stands, rolling her shoulder a little to get a sense for how much pain movement will cause. She watches the staff working on him for a moment and makes an idle gesture. ] I want all his injuries tended to properly, am I understood? [ It's not that she didn't trust the medical staff, but after the incident with Hux she feels a need to make sure her authority isn't going to be randomly questioned.

When a Knight shows up she steps away to get updated and to pass on new orders. Before she leaves the room she glances back toward Poe, almost like she wants to say something, but she remains quiet and strides off to deal with what remains of high command. Kylo doubts the meeting will be a quick one but she completely trusts the Knight to make sure no one lays a hand on Poe if there are any other Hux loyalists about. ]

That's okay. [ sarcasm or not, he's still quick to bounce back with a reply. it's his instinct to be like NOPE NOT GOING BACK TO INTERROGATION. despite how brave he wants to seem, he can't reach that level of blasé about it.

and then she's gone. it actually makes him antsy — not because he wants her around, but because he doesn't know if he trusts the staff not to mess around with him with kylo ren ordering them not to. of course, nothing happens — if not because they actually listened to kylo, at least because the knights are right there watching — but he remains on edge the entirety of the time she's gone. which isn't to say that he'll be any less on edge when she comes back. just a different sort of edge. the edge of certainty vs. the edge of the unknown retaliation.

once she's been gone long enough, he starts thinking with his galaxy brain (like the one meme) and starts casing the room for easiest/best ways to escape. where there's a will, there's a way to get the hell out of here. he did it once on the finalizer, why not again? it doesn't matter how impossible it seems. maybe if he trusted and believed in the force hard enough, it would give him an out. ]

[ As expected, she's kept away longer than she initially intends. The meeting at least goes better than she had prepared for. Perhaps it's the fact Hux had plenty of enemies among high command, or the obvious injury and some blood yet staining her clothes. Or maybe -- just maybe -- her officers were finally believing that she was capable of truly taking Snoke's place.

Was it something she ever imagined doing? No, not in the slightest if she were to be honest. She hadn't wanted to come anywhere near governing any more than she actually wanted to be a Jedi. But that ship sailed a long time ago. Snoke derided her for having her father's heart (although not her natural tendency for piloting, funny that); well, she inherited a few things from her mother too. And her grandmother, arguably.

(So much potential in her blood -- Jedis and senators and prophecies yet unfulfilled -- and yet all young Brianna had wanted was to follow in her father's footsteps. Perhaps that was why the act split her soul so badly. Trying to appease the creature that poisoned her mind all her life, when the one she truly desired acceptance from had been right in front of her.)

After appointing a replacement for Hux -- one of the last remaining Empire holdovers who had worked his way up the ranks and had actual battlefield experience, unlike that sniveling cur -- and gathering assertions of loyalty that were easy to gauge the truth of with her powers, she was off to inspect the general's quarters herself. Unfortunately, there was nothing of real interest for the Knights to report or her to find. Still, she would have been remiss if she hadn't investigated.

When she at last returns to the medbay where Poe is she's mildly exhausted but doing her best not to let it show. A brief conference with the Knight who's kept guard and then she's turning her attention to Poe, gesturing for him. (But notably not using the Force.) ]

Come on. And try to restrain the urge to be stubborn, I'm really not in the mood.

[ The Knight lingers, and will follow them whenever they leave. ]

[ he decides to show his appreciation for her not using the force to actually get up and follow of his own volition. the bright side is now he doesn't have to ancipate torture and murder from anyone who isn't kylo ren. the down side is ... kylo ren. but she keeps doing nice things? what nice thing awaits next? when are the nice things going to run out? these are questions he asks himself, but he's not sure he actually wants the answer. ]

It's not fair to give me orders I can't follow like that.

[ She's more quietly thankful than pleased that he listens. Getting in a fight or argument with him right now isn't something she wants, for assorted reasons. ]

Asking a person to try and do something, and outright telling them to do something, are two different things. [ Her remark in return is dry and she gives him a light look as they begin to walk. ] I have no doubt that telling you to not be stubborn would only encourage you to strive to do the opposite.

[ They don't head back toward the interrogation rooms, or toward the holding cells. A short walk and an elevator ride puts them in the section of the ship where most of the crew quarters are located, that particular floor designated for officers. Kylo would prefer to go back over to the Supremacy but she doesn't want to appear to be running off to hide after the incident with Hux, and getting rest -- for the both of them -- was somewhat of a priority. And so, on short notice, the best she could arrange for was an officer's quarters that wasn't currently being used. It's further than she'd like from her own, but since it's only temporary she decided she can tolerate it for a night. ]

I trust you'll find this more to your liking than the holding cell. [ Spoken as she leads him in the room, the Knight staying out in the corridor. ] Just a temporary arrangement until we go over to the flagship. I'll keep someone posted outside, just in case. I doubt anyone would be so bold... but I misjudged Hux and I won't make the same mistake again.

[ if you thought poe was going to take his room upgrade with some graceful gratitude ... well, that was your first mistake. he doesn't know how to not be a jackass. he missed that day of school. ]

My own room? Wow. Who would've thought you could be so kind? Don't worry, there's no way I'd ever wanna leave digs like these. I'll be on my best behavior.

[ he's only on his best behavior when he's unconscious. general organa knows it, the whole galaxy knows it. ]

I don't need to worry about you leaving when I can make certain you won't. [ The reply comes out more matter-of-fact than threatening, even though her tiredness is starting to become evident in her voice.

Kylo looks to him as she turns to face him and lifts a hand. She doesn't call on her power to enter his mind, yet. Instead she merely calls on the Force to hold him where he stands. ]

This isn't how I planned to do this but Hux's actions have forced my hand. As long as you remain a prisoner your life is at risk. [ She speaks as she approaches him, hand dropping back to her side for the moment. ] It's somewhat of a pity I had to kill him already. I was looking forward to watching him seethe over the fact you would outrank him. He always hated that about my position when Snoke was yet alive, operating independently from the Order and yet he held no power over myself or the other Knights.

[ Her eyes run over Poe's face, searching his expression and gaze as she stands in front of him, debating how much she might need to meddle with at the moment. The simplest thing would be to make him believe he had never been part of the Resistance, but then he would hold no care for Leia and that... that was worth keeping. She needs someone else who under no circumstance would harm her mother. Kylo would love the war to be over but not at that cost. Never. ]

[ it's not as invasive as her digging into his mind again, but he doesn't exactly appreciate being pinned into place. he spends a moment struggling against nothing before deciding to reserve his energy for other pursuits.

he had a witty quip at the tip of his tongue (something like "you mean my life wasn't at risk before?") but it's washed away by the questions he wants to ask instead. ]

Outrank? What are you — [ something snaps into place. ] No, you're not gonna — No. I'm not doing that. Whatever you're thinking, I'm not doing it.

[ She watches the realization hit, although she can't be certain he's recalling their previous conversation about her intentions for him. At the moment she's more focused on her own thoughts than his. As much as she would prefer to wait a little longer, she can't trust him not to try and escape, or to hurt himself. She knows desperate people will do desperate things. ]

Yes, you will. One way or another. I told you, I didn't hunt you down to torture and kill you. What happened earlier... was never supposed to happen. [ Oddly enough she almost sounds apologetic about it. ]

Don't think of it as serving the First Order. Think of it as serving Leia's child. I know how loyal you are to her. I need that. As you've seen, loyalty is lacking in some here.

[ it washes over him again — things that got blacked out when hux decided to fry his brain for who knows how long.

maybe he's still fried. maybe he has brain damage. he grapples with this while listening to kylo ren explain that he wasn't supposed to be tortured and killed. the mental gymnastics to believe that serving kylo ren would be helping leia in some way.

and he can't. it breaks him. he knows it would break leia's heart, even if she had already broken his in some way he refused to admit. (she wasn't coming back for him. he was on his own now. she wasn't really his mother and he wasn't really her son, no matter how hard he'd tried to make the pieces fit.)

so he keeps arguing, even know he already knows deep in his bones that there isn't a point. ]

It's not the same. That's not the same as serving her and you know it. Hux is gone, you've got everything you want. Just go back to her. Please.

I know it's not the same but it's not -- [ She makes a vague gesture, fumbling for the words. For how to explain that the First Order that Poe knew was Snoke's, and her intentions didn't follow the same path. Not even close. Snoke and Hux couldn't wait to use Starkiller; she had been the only voice of dissent, the only one who saw such a massive loss of life as a tragedy rather than something to strive for.

Part of her doesn't know why she's even trying to make him understand, why she wants him to understand. She should just get in his head and be done with it. It's not as if he will believe you. He's like all the rest, thinking you as dark and bloodthirsty as Snoke. He's just like Rey, you're only a monster to him. Stop wasting your breath and exert your will as you intended.

"Just go back to her," she hears in the flesh. "Come home," echoes in her mind from the voice she'll never hear like that again.

You know you don't have to do this. You can find another way. Force and violence is not always the answer. Just because a choice was taken from you doesn't mean you should take it from someone else.

It's that moment on the walkway all over again.

Her brow furrows and there's something pained in her expression. The hand at her side twitches, muscle memory as if her saber were in her hand. ]

What I want? You have no idea what I want. No one in this entire damn galaxy has ever cared what I want.

[ As Kylo turns to pace away from him she makes another gesture, releasing Poe from the invisible hold, although whether she entirely meant to do so is questionable. Occasionally the Force guides her actions more than conscious choice, though it's usually the dark rather than the light surging briefly to take control. ]

You don't even know what you're saying. Go back? She sent me away. She was just as afraid of me as everyone else. [ And the only person who seemed to not be afraid of her had only wanted to use her power for themselves. ]

[ he should probably give up. part of him — and no small part, either — knows this. what does he expect to accomplish that nobody else has been able to? if han solo couldn't bring kylo back, what chance does he have? he doesn't know how to approach anyone or anything with a subtle touch. they're both trying to make the other understand things that they won't, out of sheer stubbornness if nothing else.

but here he goes, back in the saddle. again. for the millionth time. ]

Okay, you know what? I wanna know. Tell me what you want. Besides, uh, controlling me. What do you wanna get out of all this. Make me understand.

[ for what it's worth, he's earnest. ]

[ Kylo rolls her eyes as she hears him speak, and if she were in better spirits she would have pointed out that 'make me' do anything was a dangerous wording choice when dealing with a force user. Oh yes, she's sure he actually wants to know. It's just a distraction. Delaying the inevitable. There's a part of her certain of that, the same part that thinks she herself is delaying for some unknown reason, and that she should stop wasting her valuable time and dig into his mind. The past however many hours wouldn't have happened (probably) if she'd followed through on her intent already.

She turns to look at him, almost like she might do just that. Should do that. It's not as if he actually cares. He doesn't care. No one does.

But what she actually does is reply. ]

Well it certainly wasn't this. [ She gestures widely as she turns to fully face him, as if to indicate everything and not so much the immediate surroundings. The ship, what it represents, everything. ] Why would anyone want this, outside of dictators and fascists?

[ She chuckles bitterly, shaking her head a little. ] I suppose the funny thing is my mother tried to help me stay out of politics. When she turned down the governorship of Birren it wasn't simply because she had little interest in it, but also because I would have inherited it and she knew I had no interest in all of that. And yet here I am, with far more than that in my hands.

[ The melancholy that had surfaced the last time they spoke in-depth is present again, as much due to what she says as due to the path of her thoughts as she considers all that led to this. A life that, for most of it, felt out of her control.

What did she want, really? What did she want? Not what someone else wanted, demanded, insisted. But what she wanted, in the truest part of herself. Did she even have a real answer to that anymore? ]

Once, all I wanted was to be like my father.

[ The words are offered quietly, carefully measured as if she were trying to keep emotion out of her voice. Would such an admission surprise Poe, she wonders. The dark voice at the back of her mind is already chiding her for revealing a weakness. But she's tired, physically and mentally, and even if he's merely engaging the conversation to try and delay her doing something to him, Kylo — Brianna — indulges it because she wants to. Because the illusion of someone giving a damn is as close as she ever gets to the real thing. ]

[ then why did you kill him? that's what's on the tip of his tongue, what he wants to shout out. it stays locked inside, though. it seems like a one-way ticket to brainwashing town when he thinks he's actually making a tiny little amount of progress. maybe he can keep his tendency to fly off the handle in check just this once. just this once, and long enough to have any kind of effect. still naively holding on to that hope that he can turn her. ]

Maybe it's not too late. I'm telling you, it's not too late. Just leave. If you really wanna be like Han Solo, leave. It's what he'd do. He wouldn't care about the consequences.

[ She huffs out a breath that borders on a chuckle, the sound more bitter than amused. ]

Leave. Just leave. [ Though she echoes his words there's nothing mocking in her tone. ] I'm glad it always seems so simple to everyone else. Like the thought never occurred to me before.

[ Shaking her head, she comes closer to him as she continues speaking. ]

Do you think this will all disappear without me here? Do you honestly think the Order is made to fall apart so easily? I'm not talking numbers, I'm talking functionality. Structure. Hux, who arguably led the fleet, has been dead barely a few hours and a suitable replacement has already been appointed. There are contingency plans in place for countless situations. The First Order itself is, in a way, a contingency plan that has flourished.

[ As she regards him for a few moments, there's a part of her that sincerely wishes it were so easy. That anything in her life could be so simple. It certainly sounds novel, and right up there with the idea of a normal life. Something that didn't exist for anyone in her bloodline. Following in her father's footsteps would have been the closest to normal that she could have found. ]

[ the calm he's tried so hard to maintain is slipping away. he's been trying so hard to take a diplomatic tack, but he's never been a diplomat. potential brainwashing be damned. ]

That doesn't mean it needs to keep going with you in it. All I'm hearing is a bunch of excuses.

[ Her eyes sharply narrow, a flicker of something dark passing through them. ]

For being my mother's favorite, you clearly haven't picked up much from her.

[ A slight glare is maintained as she loosely crosses her arms, brushing off the pain from her wounded shoulder at the motion. Something she would have to have properly attended to at some point. ]

She could have walked away. Let the galaxy deal with its problems on its own after people were happy to turn their backs on us. [ Sure, Brianna didn't know exactly how things went down in the Senate (apart from information available on the HoloNet later, and from a few classified First Order files much later) but she didn't need to be told. She knew how most of the other students reacted when the news finally made it to the isolated corner of the galaxy they were in. Heard and saw how some in more civilized areas reacted to certain names both before and after. ] Instead she doubled down on fighting against the newest version of the Empire. And knowing her, it probably wouldn't have dissuaded her if she'd known what she was actually up against.

[ At which point she sighs, shifting a little, because it seems she's going to have to voice a decision she didn't make all that long ago. Really she only made it... well. When she found out from Poe her mother was still alive. ]

Maybe I could leave. Maybe. But if I'm not in charge then there's nothing to keep the First Order from killing her, one way or another.

[ still losing all that diplomacy he'd been trying so hard to maintain, his eyes narrow right back at the comment about leia.

(he reminded her of luke, not herself. she liked that he was reckless. he could try to cling to that.) ]

If you're the one that's protecting her, why can't you do it from her side? I don't get it.

[ it felt pointlessly circular. (was this what bickering with a sibling felt like?) he's pretty sure, at this point, that he's not actually making any headway. that moment has come and gone. the only thing that keeps him going is the hope of stalling — the more time he spends flinging himself at the brick wall that is kylo ren's... narcissism? martyr complex? something. the longer he does that, the more time he avoids brainwashing. ]

Oh yes, let me give another group a chance to use me for their own benefit. That sounds like a wonderful idea.

[ Brianna rolls her eyes, an increasing part of her wondering why she's even bothering. If she wants to try and get him to understand anything, it would be far easier to do it once she's shifted his allegiances. Not that anyone ever understands her viewpoint — or tries to. ]

I care about her, I don't give a damn about the Resistance. [ Or the First Order, deep down, if she's entirely honest. It's as she told Rey. Sometimes old things just needed to end, to die. ] Eventually she'll have to see and accept her side is fighting a battle they can't possibly win. In the meantime, there's plenty of galaxy that I can send the fleet to that keeps them well away from her. Can't very well do that if I'm not here, in control of things.

[ meanwhile he's over here wondering why he's bothering when he reached his breaking point awhile ago. leia would be ashamed of him and he knew it, but he doesn't even care. leia isn't coming to save him. nobody is. ]

You're so difficult. Why does anyone even bother with you? It's like talking to a wall.

[ A flicker of hurt — similar to during their previous conversation-slash-bonding over parental issues — crosses her face before she can register it, let alone try to prevent it. Something more honest than he's earned and certainly more than she likes to let anyone see.

Just as quick Brianna's expression turns stern as she approaches him and when she reaches out it's not to do anything with the Force but simply to poke him in the chest. ]

My being difficult is the only reason you're not another faceless stormtrooper right now, let alone still alive. Don't make me regret my assessment of finding you useful.

[ With a huff she moves to walk past him, considering the conversation over. She didn't get shot just to stand there and let him insult her. Clearly his willingness to listen was only on the condition he heard something he wanted to hear. ]

Get some rest, Dameron. We go to the Supremacy tomorrow and your training will begin.

[ this is what he was trying to avoid the whole time. and failed, after trying his very best to appeal to whatever popcorn kernel of humanity brianna had lurking inside somewhere. (did he hurt her feelings? did he actually maybe unearth that popcorn kernel? guess it doesn't matter now, considering that, you know. he failed.) ]

Training, huh? Can't say I'm feeling all that thankful.

[ he doesn't have to ask what for, but he wonders what "training" entails. how much is going to end up being brainwashing after all. he knows he failed, but how hard? the fact that she just poked him instead of force choking him is... something? it's more than nothing. ]

[ Though she leaves in a flurry of black it's not before she makes sure one of the Knights is in the corridor to keep guard as much as keep watch. She was done taking chances.

And yet, she left without altering the pilot's mind in any way. Interesting, that.

Her sleep is fitful and inconsistent, not so much due to any concerns about further attempts on her life but due to the conflict within her. If anything, she should have slept peacefully now that Hux was gone. However, when hatching her plan to turn the Resistance's greatest asset into a powerful weapon against them, she didn't account for the chance of finding any points of commonality with him. (Or on her mother still being alive. That changed much, whether she cared to acknowledge it or not.)

When the next day comes Kylo sees that a meal is sent Poe's way while she tends to matters that demand her immediate attention. An ally of the former General's was sniffed out during the night and she disposes of them, feeling that no one who was terribly close to Hux could be trusted. Paranoia or sensible caution, take your pick. It's around midday when she instructs two of the Knights to bring Poe over to the flagship, having gone over about an hour earlier herself to feel things out and make sure there were no unpleasant surprises waiting for her.

The room he's ultimately brought to isn't interrogation or anything of the sort, but a practical training room. It's bright and somewhat sparse by comparison to what he's perhaps become accustomed to seeing on First Order ships, with a rack or two of practice weapons along one wall.

She's already present, standing to the side conversing with one of the other Knights when Poe arrives. Kylo gives a nod to one of the Knights with him, dismissing them, before she shifts her attention to Poe. Her gaze skims over him in a mildly appraising way, like she needs to check that he's remained unharmed while out of her sight. ]

According to your file, you have a surprising amount of proficiency in hand-to-hand combat. [ Surprising because so many had taken to relying on blasters and not bothering with the basics. ] Let's see how good you really are, hmm?

[ The Knight beside her pulls something out of a pocket and tosses it to Poe; it's the hilt of a training lightsaber, the blade carefully attuned to do only a fraction of the damage of a normal saber blade. No cutting through flesh or metal, but it would still hurt and leave welts or minor burns if hit with it. Kylo loosely crosses her arms as the Knight walks over to take a staff off the weapon rack, casually spinning it, obviously intended to play sparring partner. ]

I know you're not Force-sensitive but a saber is a powerful weapon in anyone's hands, if a person knows how to use it. [ If the comment sounds like a challenge, it's because she meant it that way. ]

[ poe catches it reflexively, but doesn't really take in what he just caught until it's in his hand and he's staring down at it. training or not, he still never expected anything like this to be at his disposal, ever. (it takes all his inner strength to not externally express any excitement he's currently feeling.) ]

Yeah? How's it turn on?

[ after turning it in one hand to make sure he's not going to accidentally stab himself, he pushes the button his fingers graze against. and is still trying not to look like he's in awe of the shiny plasma that comes out, even if it is baby plasma for babies. ]

[ The first thing she notes is the impressiveness of his reflexes. Sure, such a thing would obviously help explain how he was such a good pilot, but it's one thing to read skills in a file and another to actually see them. Kylo tilts her head slightly, thoughtfully, as she watches Poe and how he treats the weapon with care before experimentally turning it on.

And honestly, she'd be lying if she said there wasn't some part of her that wants to crack a smile at the emotion freely coming off of him. There's a certain purity to the simple... joy? awe? she can sense from Poe. It's been such a very long time since she's felt anything like that, even second-hand as it is. ]

I see you found the switch. [ she muses, albeit not nearly as dry and sarcastically as she might with anyone else. ] It's simple on and off. The blade cannot be broken, unless the crystal within becomes damaged. [ Not something she's concerned about but this is new to him, and she needs to keep that in mind. Like training a new padawan.

The knight, having idly been toying with the staff while the moment was transpiring, takes a more serious pose when Kylo gives him a nod and squares up opposite Poe, going entirely still before making a move to 'attack'. ]

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i like how i tried to keep this short and ended up rambling about a different subject lol

👌

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this is a wonderful surprise ❤

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sends you the customary novella to transition to a new scene

apparently i completely lost this tag?!

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