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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This is what I'm talking about when I said sick and twisted. This.

[ he's still trying to talk back, as is his nature, but the reply is lacking in gravitas. he re-racks his brain for possible escapes routes, but there aren't any.

so he mentally switches it up. it'll be okay. he's done this before. it's just going to be more of her using him, taking whatever she wants. he just has to last through it, then it'll be over. (until the next time.)

and he lets her — not that he has much of a choice. he lets her pull down his pants, the sensation of cold air not exactly helping his determination to somehow not get hard around her. ]

[ She maneuvers so she can push the fabric down past her knees, not ripping it only because it's a fair distance back to her quarters and simply taking someone else's pants isn't such an easy thing as tall as she is. It's fine; just one more irritation to add to the pile of things helping to keep her in an aggressive mood. The panties though, those get ripped, knowing they were bound to be anyway by the time she's through. ]

You make it sound like you don't want it. [ One of her hands curls around him, giving a firm stroke. ] You don't feel like you don't want it.

[ Kylo's well aware the mind and body aren't always in agreement. She was counting on it to a degree. ]

But sick and twisted? [ She lightly clicks her tongue as she straddles his hips, splaying her other hand on his chest as she leans over him. ] It's not as if I have any blades nearby so I could pin your hands to the table and make doubly sure you're not going to go anywhere. All I have is... [ Shifting, she reaches to pick up her lightsaber, having set it and her belt nearby. She toys with the saber hilt, looking from it to him. ] I could get creative, but I'd rather keep you in one piece.

I meant the mind stuff. But yeah, this isn't great, either.

[ he doesn't want it. but if he protests more, he feels like it'll draw attention to how much his body is suggesting that he does. her stroking him isn't helping the situation any.

does he expect her to introduce lightsaber-play to this encounter? no, but his expression does scrunch up sourly. ]

No thanks.

It had been on the itinerary today, seeing as I haven't gone poking around inside your head very much. [ she informs him as she sets the saber back down, making sure it's out of his reach. Does she think he'd actually try for it if he had half a chance? Not really, but why risk it.

Continuing to stroke him, she leans down again and kisses him hard, neither expecting or particularly caring if he reciprocates. Although she does quicken the pace of her hand, feeling slightly impatient to get on with it. ]

I do wonder which you would hate more, being made to want me or to enjoy the torture.

[ After a few moments more she shifts her hips, settling herself over him so she can guide him inside with her hand. She's wet but there's still a slight burn from the stretch and she sucks in a breath only to exhale in a quiet groan, rocking her hips against his and savoring that slight edge of pain. ]

[ honestly, taking the lightsaber didn't even occur to him. he's that deep in it, he didn't consider that means of escape. he doesn't reciprocate the kiss, but he also doesn't try to escape. that's where he is now. lying still out of a lack of options. ]

Can I choose both? Kind of hating both, actually.

[ related: he's got a great idea and it's "trying to lie still until she leaves me alone." he tries that. he tries really hard to not writhe under her when she switches from her hand to her cunt, to ignore the way it makes his stomach twist — not out of disgust, but anticipation. ]

Is there anything you don't hate?

[ He may claim to hate or dislike everything that's been happening to him since his capture, but she's all but certain he doesn't regard everything equally. Even if just in his subconscious she's sure there's a thing or two that he dislikes the least. She hasn't yet sorted out how he compares the sex to the outright torture, but she imagines after a few more instances of either she'll begin to get a feel for what value his mind assigns to each. Once she knows that then she can start to decide how best to punish and reward him, and wear down his resistance all the more.

For now though... for now she wants something specific, something he's not quite giving her. But she knows how to fix that.

As she moves her hips against his she leans over him and her hands, rather than go to his chest or shoulders to hold him down (something she's a little surprised isn't necessary), move to his neck. Further taunting is tempting but she doesn't say anything as she wraps her hands around his throat and starts to squeeze. ]

[ he hates the sex more than the torture honestly, because the sex comes with enjoying it and then subsequently feeling used, dirty, and guilty. torture is straightforward. he feels pain, he feels bad. a to b.

any reply he was planning on using is dashed out. as someone who wasn't forewarned about this kink and is having it done by someone who he's sure just might try to kill him, he's not holding back any reflexes to get her off of him.

or at least, that's what he thinks. for a second. he starts to. as she presses in and constricts his breathing, sparks flash in his peripheral vision. he starts to feel dizzy, but … in a good way? there's no room for mixed feelings, just a small wave of euphoria and a desire for more. ]

[ Ah yes, there it is, that struggle she wants. She feels a little thrill, a spike of pleasure low in her body that makes her drive her hips down hard against his and stay close, simply grinding her hips against his so any potential struggling has less chance to separate them. Licking her lips, she can already imagine bruises on his throat. It's not returning the favor from last time; she wanted him to get rough, and the biting had been a pleasant surprise. But she definitely gets enjoyment from leaving her own marks behind, including those marks left by a weapon.

Sure, she could choke him with the Force, but where would the fun be in that? There's something far more visceral and satisfying actually putting her hands on someone. Feeling their life in her hands and knowing she could take it. Once upon a time she never wanted a smidge of power and now she all but constantly chases it, whether it's to be found in dominating a star system or a single person.

As she tightens her grip though she senses pleasure that isn't her own. Which isn't exactly unexpected, she's done this sort of thing enough to know the body tends to react in certain ways, but it feels like a little more than just a physiological reaction. Then again, she could simply be projecting her enjoyment of this particular kink onto him.

Kylo tilts her head almost curiously as she watches him and focuses more intently on trying to get a read on what he's feeling. For the moment she doesn't tighten her grip any further, keeping the pressure on but still allowing him some leeway to breathe. ]

[ on an instinctual animal level he wants to breathe as a base requirement of living. but more than that, somehow, he wants more. just enough pressure to keep feeling dizzy and lightheaded and — perhaps mostly importantly — unable to think coherently. that this is kylo ren choking him doesn't matter.

he tries to thrust into her, but it's closer to rhythmless thrashing in nature.

maybe, on some level, the idea of dying instead of being here was so appealing that he wanted to lean into it. ]

[ She felt pleasure from him before, when his head was between her legs, but this has a different edge to it. Granted, that first time she was rather distracted by her own pleasure and wasn't paying much attention to what he was feeling. But there's something here, something she wants to investigate, something that intrigues her.

It's difficult to focus though when he moves, responds in a way that isn't trying to rip her hands away from his neck. His erratic thrusts force a moan out of her, eyes shutting for a brief moment at the warmth that floods her. Maybe... maybe she'll chase this new thread of curiosity later. When she wouldn't rather chase the way he's -- likely unintentionally -- making her feel.

Kylo keeps her grip steady on his throat as she leans over him, shifting the angle of her hips a little, and she half kisses him just because she wants to, not because she's trying to briefly cut off a source of air. She lingers close, nipping at his jaw as she thrusts her hips down against his. ]

[ just like he has no real control of this situation in regard to what she's doing to him, he can't even control himself when he comes hard inside her, a gasping moan trying to force itself out of the constricted space of his throat. it took very little time; he was just experiencing a whole new kink that strongly, okay. his muscles tense and contact as his mind completely blanks out — which is good, because he doesn't have to fully experience her half-kissing him this way. one microscopic benefit out of all of this.

it's only then that he tries to struggle out from under her, but he doesn't get very far with it. he'd have to have a directional sense that he just doesn't have between the limited air supply and suddenly feeling boneless. ]

[ There's something immensely satisfying about the moment to her. Somewhere in the realm of when she breaks someone and senses that final barrier slip away, or when she gathers whatever piece of information she's intently after. It's surrender, in a sense. Instinct, reflex, whatever one might want to call it.

At least that's how it hits her senses when he comes undone beneath her, seeming to catch them both by surprise. She wants to savor it, to try and make note of the details so she can then later sort out what garnered the most response and try to invoke this kind of reaction from him again. But her own pleasure is burning hot, fueled by the unrestricted wave of his pleasure and the way he moves inside her.

Kylo curses, low and heartfelt, as her hips ride out his own staggered movements. It's not more than another minute or two until she finds her own release and her hands briefly tighten around his throat as her body tenses. She has enough clarity of mind to realize it though and eases the grip she has on him, her hands moving to the table on either side of him to brace herself as she works to catch her breath, eyes closed for the moment as she does so. ]

[ with nothing else to do and nowhere else to go, his hips shift to meet hers while she finds her climax, despite feeling completely spent himself.

but then it's over. he finds himself not exactly liking being able to breathe again. the hazy half-conscious space he was occupying was better than the reality of kylo ren on top of him like this. ]

Are you ... happy now? Got what you wanted?

[ his voice is more hoarse than he was expecting, which was dumb on his part. but. she wanted him to like it. and he had. maybe she can take the way he came so easily as an admission instead of actually making him voice it. ]

[ Her reply doesn't come immediately, in part due to the fact that some of her anger has been washed away by the wave of pleasure. It's not exactly how she intended to release said anger but it's just as well. For all intents and purposes it's certainly the safest way it could have happened. ]

You surprise me sometimes, Dameron. [ is what she ends up remarking, still a little breathless. She shifts her weight to one hand as the other moves to push her hair back from her face, eyes opening to look down at him, and there's a certain amount of curiosity in her gaze. Genuine curiosity, even if it might be the sort that often precedes taking things apart to find out how they tick.

Her hand goes to his throat, fingers brushing over the marks blooming from her grip, and a pleased smile crosses her face. Yes, she supposed to an extent she was happy, for the moment.

Kylo climbs off of him and off the table, standing beside it while she straightens her clothes. She's not settled, not entirely, but she's at least not likely to murder the next person she sees.

A glance back to him — and to his neck — and she can't help but smirk. ]

Might be time to put a collar on that neck of yours. At least when I don't have my hands wrapped around it.

[ he surprised himself. he doesn't want to say it. it would mean talking about what happened, and having to admit that he felt any kind of pleasure, no matter how involuntary it had been.

he uses her getting off of him as his own opportunity to reclothe and straighten up. now that the adrenaline levels aren't quite as high, his neck feels more and more sore. he doesn't need to examine it in the mirror to know that it's going to bruise. as soon as she sends him to medical to wipe her old marks off, she puts more on. part of him wonders if this is going to be routine.

and then the rest of him blanches because he just thought about being here in the longterm. ]

I don't think I'd look good in a collar.

[ trying his best to stay sassy while hoarse, clearly. ]

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Only one way to find out. [ Kylo hums a thoughtful sort of sound. ] Though I appreciate you caring whether you look appealing or not.

[ There's absolutely no doubt in her mind that he didn't mean anything of the sort, but since when has that stopped her from finding other meaning in his words? Such instances amuse her, in a good way. Keep her interested. Something she imagines he would prefer she isn't.

But, then again, she's already begun to notice little changes in his temperament. It makes her all the more curious to see just how she can twist and bend him to her will.

The door to the room opening draws her attention — and irritation — and she narrows her eyes at the officer that enters, said officer bringing an update on an incursion taking place in a pocket of the galaxy formerly belonging to the Republic. Though Kylo crosses her arms she indulges the interruption, all but ignoring Poe for the moment. What was he going to do? Run? At this point, she can't say it's a concern. She certainly doesn't act like it is, her back to him as she speaks with the officer and they discuss what will be done with a few Republic loyalists that have been captured during the fighting. ]

[ he doesn't know why he straightens up and tries to act like nothing had been happening in this room when the officer comes through the door. still trying to hang on to whatever shredded ribbons he has left of his dignity, even with the bruises blooming at his neck.

stars if it isn't frustrating, though, being treated like some kind of pet around first order officers. a non-person. like he's not even here in this room.

his mind does its (usual, at this point) treading water. no way to get out of here. no way to lash out at her. he tries to listen to the two of them talk about republic loyalists, like it might be something of interest to him, but he can't focus. the panic and lightheadedness make for a bad combo.

that's when his eye fall on it. the lightsaber. it was out of his reach with her on top of him, but she'd forgotten about it while straightening herself up. and now she's distracted. now, maybe...

he tries to be extra subtle about shifting towards it, to grab it. it's wild that he's here thinking he can get this past a force user, but his critical thinking skills have seen better days, as previously noted. ]

[ Given that she's become used to his assorted attempts at rebellion, Kylo doesn't pay particular attention to any little shifts in his emotions, or much attention to any movement for that matter. There's nowhere for him to go. If he wanted to climb off the table and try to hide in some corner of the room she couldn't say she cared at the moment. The embarrassment she sometimes felt from him yet amused her.

No, it's something else that ultimately draws her attention. A familiar sense at the back of her mind that makes her head tilt slightly and makes her draw out a pause between words.

She doesn't immediately turn around though, instead finishing her conversation and dismissing the officer, sending them off to find out the status of the warship that's going to pay the Hutts a visit. It's only then that Kylo turns, arms still crossed as she quirks a brow at Poe. ]

Careful. We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. [ She chides in a mock-concerned tone, and finally holds out a hand, although whether with the intent to summon the lightsaber to her or with the expectation that he'll hand it to her is debatable. ]

[ he catches the tiniest micro-movement of her head — but, because she doesn't immediately react, is dumb enough to think that he just might get away with it (what would he do next, after? don't ask, he didn't think that far.)

but there he is when she turns around, caught holding the saber like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.

how does this turn on?

he'll figure it out in a second. for now, he holds the unignited hilt out like a weapon. any second now, he'll find the switch. ]

Stay back.

[ he's about as dangerous as that same kid with his hand in the cookie jar only now with a weapon he doesn't know how to use, but poe is both bold and insane enough to think that he could make any kind of difference. ]

[ Kylo would be more amused if it were a standard lightsaber in his hand. Far fewer ways for him to unintentionally hurt himself with one of those. As it is she pays more attention to the way he's holding the saber than anything else. Oh, she doesn't doubt he'll figure it out eventually — only so many places for the switch to be — but she's not at all worried about being harmed herself.

Noting the direction of the crossguards, she sighs loudly and the fingers of her outstretched hand curl to grip the air, pulling the hilt out of his hand. ]

If you're going to try and be threatening, you should have a better idea of the weapon in your hands.

[ Once it's in her hand she holds the hilt loosely, so she can hold it up and show him the location of the switch. ] This is what you need to press. [ Which she does with her thumb, igniting the blade between them, although the way she holds it is so the blade is pointed upward and the crossguards pointing away from the both of them. ]

If you get your hands on my saber again, try to remember the crossguards. The blades may be smaller but they're every bit as hot. We wouldn't want you to poke an eye out. [ As she glances at the saber her lips twist in a smirk. ] That traitor friend of yours could tell you just how much the smaller blades hurt. I seem to recall him screaming quite a bit when I dug one into his shoulder.

[ there's a whole array of emotions cascading over his face. he's upset and disappointed with himself, that he could get that close and still fail to do anything — literally anything. if not escape, at least throw kylo off-balance. surprise her. but nope.

he'll remember the button for the next time he gets his hands on a saber, which is probably just two weeks from approximately never.

and, of course, finn. his last real soft spot. that's where the feelings end — with him angry and bristled like a wild animal. ]

Leave him alone.

[ he's not here??? but it doesn't matter. ]

[ She misses seeing most of those emotions but she senses them pass, or at least senses the flurry of them. That the assortment of emotions ends up settling on anger doesn't really surprise her. She'd expect him to be cross with himself for squandering a chance, one she hadn't meant to give him but she's not bothered by in this instance. And, of course, she expects some sort of reaction to her not-remotely-subtle taunting.

As long as her pet has buttons to press Kylo fully intends to keep pressing them when the moment suits her or serves her purposes. It wouldn't do for her entertainment to not be entertaining and capable of holding her attention, after all. ]

I do hope the traitor gets captured and not killed out in the field. I'm sure you'd like to see him one last time, your wayward savior that certainly can't save you now.

[ Kylo turns the blade off and clips the hilt to her belt before her gaze moves to Poe, that smirk still lingering on her lips. ]

Perhaps when we capture the traitor I'll let you have the honor of executing him. [ Her smirk widens further. ] Perhaps I'll even let you use my saber to do it. That would be such anguish for the both of you, I imagine. [ She reaches out to almost affectionately brush her knuckles against Poe's cheek. ] And such a wonderful display of how far the Resistance's mighty hero has fallen.

I haven't fallen anywhere.

[ it only adds fuel to the flame. part of him wants to stay safely within his angry feelings, burrow into the emotion — if he feels angry, he doesn't have to feel all the fear and shame that's come with every single humiliating thing she's put him through since being captured. but it's getting harder to maintain the anger, he's finding. it's exhausting.

every time finn comes up, the ideas for punishments change and something catches in his chest. finn went from being reconditioned again to killed to being member number two of kylo ren's awful harem being killed by him personally. all he wants to do is protect someone who isn't even there, because ... well, because he cared about him.

and now he'll never see him again.

(he didn't want to think about what finn would say if he did see him again. even if he protested, maybe she was right. maybe he had fallen.) ]

I'd die before doing something like that to him.

You keep protesting and it keeps not making a difference. How frustrating that must be for you. [ Kylo remarks casually, not even trying to hide that she's mocking him. ] If such a situation comes, you'll do whatever I command you to do. Eventually there will be a day where I won't even need to use the Force to make you do what I want. Perhaps not soon, but mark my words, it will happen.

[ Whether her will was followed out of obedience or fear wouldn't much matter at that point; it would be a victory for her regardless.

She turns to leave the meeting room and there are two troopers posted out in the corridor, patiently waiting. Kylo makes a gesture in Poe's direction. ]

Take the prisoner back to his room. I have a battle to prepare for. [ Because her anger might have been tempered for the time being after having her way with him but her desire for bloodshed still has a need to be sated. ]

You're wrong. About that. No matter what you do, there are some things I'd never do. You can't.

[ he knows she's right. in the end she could make him do whatever she wanted. even if it was killing finn. or any other awful things adjacent. but he wants to fight back so much. he's not giving up. he's picking his battles. he's saving his energy for a rainy day event, something like that, where he'd really need to fight back.

which is why he lets the guards cart him off with minimal stuggle. he's not admitting defeat!! he's just... saving his energy... ]

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