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WISH LIST
★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus
★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions
★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him
★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia
★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships
kinks if ya nasty
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he's 99% sure that this would not be nearly as bad after eating and maybe even getting real sleeping-as-a-person sleep, but that 1% of him is like "are you sure this isn't forever?" maybe he's one of the unlucky ones who can't make it through turning. (even though there's a part of him, if he reaches to feel it, that's resoundingly strong. that has to be the wolf, right? and it's not devouring him. he's made it this far.)
regardless, his brain isn't spending much time doing thinking. in the silence, his singular reason for living has returned to being food. ]
Is it much farther?
[ now we're pulling classics like "are we there yet." brianna will never regret this at all. ]
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But there's also a thread of, well. Protectiveness. She's trying to ignore it, consciously and not, but it's there in the background all the same.
Her answer to his question is a low, irritated growl, and she spares the barest of glances at him. Asking childish questions didn't count as staying quiet.
And while no one was coming around to actively harass or poke at the new unwilling pup, Brianna can feel the attention here and there. Catches eyes turned their way, quiet comments being made. Annoying and bothersome to an extent but she can handle that; it's nothing she hasn't been dealing with since she joined up with the pack. It also doesn't make her relax. One, because to do so would be foolish and potentially invite trouble, and two, she knows it's only a matter of time before someone (or multiple someones) want to investigate the new wolf among them.
She only outright bristles once, when an overly curious member of the pack gets up from their resting place and makes to approach, clearly scenting the air and eyeing Poe. Brianna slows her pace and pointedly glares at them, giving a warning growl. The other pack member backs off after a few seconds staring at each other but she can already see the wheels turning. She sends up a silent prayer that any real trouble waits until the next day.
The rest of the walk transpires without incident. Her modest home is near the outskirts of the settlement, as unremarkable on the outside as most of the other buildings. It's essentially a one-bedroom with all the basics. The interior is simple but tidy; it gives the sense that someone lives there but doesn't necessarily spend a lot of time inside. Brianna locks the door behind them (more an emotional or symbolic comfort than it is likely to keep anyone out if they were intent on coming in) and heavily sighs, her shoulders finally relaxing and some of the tension leaving her body. Without a word she goes through an open doorway into the kitchen and, after grabbing a half-empty bottle of whiskey out of a cupboard and taking a long swig, she starts rifling around to gather things to start cooking. ]
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that said, it’s good that she scares off the pack members trying to get a look at him, because something was already tearing up through his insides. a desire to attack, or at least also investigate. the thing buzzing beneath his skin is curious — but still too tired of be aggressive for aggression’s sake.
(if he lets his mind quiet enough to contemplate, he’ll have to accept that he really is one of them now. he has the same strengths and weaknesses. but it’s okay, because he’s not going to think right now. maybe he won’t think forever. he only has one brain cell, after all.)
once he’s in the apartment, he ends up… standing there and looking around awkwardly. should he sit? wait? just stand there vibing on colors and sounds? the last one is what he ends up doing, regardless. ]
What are you making? [ yep, that sure smells like alcohol, even without seeing it. whiskey? probably. ] Is that part of it or just for fun?
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The idea of all of this that she's now suddenly having to deal with is, well, more than irritating. She reaches for the bottle again. Not for the first time she has the fleeting thought that being cold-blooded and selfish would make her life so much easier in so many ways. ]
You saying you don't want a drink after the last however many hours? [ Brianna says over her shoulder, not raising her voice since there's no need to. It's not exactly an invitation but it's not not one either.
There's still a few venison steaks on hand from her last hunt so that's what she ends up going with, grabbing a carton of eggs out of the fridge as well. As hungry as she can be after a shift, and more so knowing just how much of an energy-drain it is, especially for a 'young' wolf, she's betting on making up more food than less. It's not as if she won't have need for the energy herself later, whether taking him out into the forest or if she has to forcibly get someone to back off.
A bit more rustling as she gets the necessary cookware out and then it's not long before things are sizzling on the stovetop and the tell-tale sounds of cooking fill the kitchen. ]
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[ the more time he spends with all these exciting new stimuli, the easier it is to exist in the apartment feeling less whelmed. he's still sore and nauseous, so not completely sure if alcohol would make the situation better or worse... but not so unsure that he's not willing to try it out.
it doesn't matter as much once the smell of food starts permeating the kitchen. his single wolf brain cell is alive and it's screaming to eat. the idea of eating parks itself at the forefront of his mind, not leaving space for much else. ]
Thanks, for, uh... everything.
[ but especially food. ]
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[ Mulling that thought over prompts her to continue talking. ]
It wasn't my idea, if that matters to you. Suppose it was my own fault for wanting to see what all the celebrating was about since I didn't join the fray yesterday. But if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. [ That much had been clear to her. ] The others... probably would have been more interested in making you suffer.
[ When the first steak and few eggs are done she makes up a plate and brings it to the small dining table, glancing his way. ] Try not to make too much of a mess. [ Her tone is a bit dry but teasing. As an afterthought she grabs the carton of juice out of the fridge and puts it on the table as well with a glass, then returns to the stove to cook up another round, and some for herself. ]
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Sounds like I'm right to thank you, then.
[ the remark is a small mutter that's quickly forgotten in the presence of food. poe takes a seat and immediately starts shoveling food into his mouth. he's not sure if steak and eggs tastes amazing because of his new upgraded senses or because he's so hungry that a cardboard box would taste amazing at this point. but those are thoughts too complex for his single brain cell, which is currently possessed by the spirit of pac-man.
it's only when he stops to chug orange juice that he realizes that he uh. basically unhinged his jaw and ate like a snake. he's not quite ready (emotionally) to ask for more, so he settles for staring at brianna's back while she continues minding the stove. maybe he can will more food into existence. ]
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Granted, they could still end up trying to kill each other at some point. But, strangely, she can't say she's terribly worried about it at present. It's an odd feeling, one more on top of what she's been feeling and thinking since the night before.
When she eventually returns to the table with more food she doesn't even quirk a brow at the empty plate. There's no judgment; she understands the hunger. Perhaps not the precise kind of a new wolf, but it's not as if her own was infinite. Energy expended always needed to be replaced. Brianna sets the fresh plate in front of him before retrieving her own and taking up at the other seat at the table.
She's quieter, and not as ravenous, but hungry nonetheless considering the last she ate was sometime the afternoon before. And while she doesn't watch him she can't help but to glance his way every so often, both curious and thinking. Trying to sort out where to go from here. Her life was already plenty complicated before this twist appeared on her path, and at present it was difficult to see how this would be a benefit in any possible way. If anything it felt like she'd only managed to get more of a target on her back. ]
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My ring. You took my ring.
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They would have destroyed it. [ she remarks calmly and with no joy. Whatever his reason for having it, it clearly meant something to him and others in the pack would have gone out of their way to make him suffer.
Shifting on the chair, she fishes in her pocket for the trinket, careful to keep in wrapped in fabric so she doesn't burn herself. Without hesitation she reaches forward to set it on the table near him; she has no interest in keeping it from him. Perhaps she should, perhaps it would be a way to keep him in line... but that's just not how she is. ]
I couldn't tell if the chain or the ring is what has silver, but whichever it is, try not to let it touch your skin for very long. If it's the chain that's silver I can help you find something to replace it that won't bother your skin, though I wouldn't recommend you wearing it. Until you have some control over your shifting, it'll be far too easy for you to accidentally lose it.
[ As she resumes eating she tries to quiet her own curiousness about the ring and why he has it. She doubts he would appreciate her asking questions, even if she's kind of entitled to knowing more about him given she's responsible for him now. ]
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[ meant as some kind of protection, but that most likely went without saying. his expression falls a little bit at that, thinking about what it meant — not being able to even touch that last piece of his mother without some kind of protection.
because a monster like him was never meant to. and that was what he was now, after all.
it was still too early to grapple with what that really meant, the werewolf-ness of it all. gotta take it one Big Thought at a time. ]
I know they would've. [ he almost thanks her again, but more than one expression of (questionably deserved) gratitude was probably too many. ]
It was— my mother gave it to me. She was a hunter, too.
[and wasn't that explanation enough? for its importance and existence in the first place. ]
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Brianna sits quietly for a few moments, mulling over his words. He didn't have to share it. Part of her wishes he hadn't, as it makes her think on her own parents briefly. ]
I'll help you figure something out. If you want.
Some people here, they have things from before. I know there's ways to deal with the silver.
[ She reaches for her drink but doesn't pick it up, idly tapping a finger against the glass. ]
How are you feeling?
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[ poe doesn't look at her, choosing to stay fixated on the ring on the table. he can't help himself and reaches out to touch it —
and immediately pulls his fingers back. he didn't know what he expected; but he barely remembered ripping it off, so the sensation was truly a mystery. whatever he imagined wasn't the sharp burning like he'd touched a hot stove. it's all he can do to not hiss (or growl) in surprise. nope. if he doesn't address it and plays it cool, it won't have ever happened.
(if he stops long enough to real think about the unfairness of it all, his seams will start to tear. better not.) ]
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She's been on her own almost the entire time she's been with this pack. It hadn't taken long for her to realize that was safest, even if it was at odds with the wolf's desire to be the social creature it was by nature. Even if it made her life more difficult at times, and put her at odds with some in the hierarchy from time to time. There's a part of her that wonders if it's only been tolerated — humored — by the pack leader because she's valuable in a way. Because she's a born wolf, yes, but likely more because of her past and who she was. Knowledge that she's sure the leader would love to cause unrest and conflict within the Resistance. Brianna wonders and worries about how much longer the leader will wait before using her like a pawn to do just that. It's not something she's looking forward to.
So she deemed it safer, to keep everyone, even those she had become friendly with, at a certain distance. And now? Now she'd practically adopted a pup that needed looking after.
No, not just a pup. A hunter.
She really should have said to hell with orders and killed him to put them both out of their misery.
Brianna sits back and rubs both hands over her face, the weight of the past evening trying to hit her all at once. What she really wants to do is run, it's what she normally does when everything starts feeling too much, just running full bore through the forest until she exhausts herself. But she can't. Not with him here.
A growl of discontent rumbles in her chest and she abruptly gets up and leaves the room, needing distance for a moment. Just, just five seconds to try and breathe and pull herself back together. If she can keep herself from thinking how there's nowhere in her place she can walk to that she won't still hear him, sense him in her space. ]