[ but does he know about all of it though ? ?? ? does he ?? ? (no.) ]
I kissed him.
[ kiLL HER please. this is worse than with keith. at least when keith figured it out, she was still figuring it out. but poe's going to find out ?? like hayame figured it out. and now they're in sexapalooza here. this isn't the kind of thing they can hide she'd JUST finished telling kylo that the night of the tour. ]
[ he's really dumb and he was willfully ignoring the depth of her relationship with kylo ren. of course, he'd wondered about the whole sleepover thing on drakstaden, but it couldn't have been THAT MUCH. she went there with the whole virgin thing on the way to zhautas. so then, he was like "oh maybe it was ... just a sleepover ..."
he was putting a lot of deliberate effort into not thinking about it, honestly. but whoop here it is.
on one level, he was kind of expecting it. that was the whole reason for the deliberate ignoring.
on the second level, ????? ]
how was that
[ out of sheer confusion he spits out the first stupid thought that enters his brain. ]
[ like she doesn't want it, but she'd feared his agreement: that finn would never want to touch her if he knew. and then maybe add in that he's changed his mind too because he's a little disgusted. she wants to be wrong. she'd hoped she was wrong but now he's just
i kind of expected it, okay? i just didn't want to think about it. you were sharing a room on drakstaden. i didn't wanna assume but, you know, you were sharing a room on drakstaden and then you came in my room crying because he wanted you to go away.
i know i'm kinda slow sometimes but i can put two and two together and get four
[ she can hardly bring herself to believe it because, and she's realizing this now, she's kind of always waiting for people to leave. like her parents did. but poe, he'd started there. and only now, after he's seen all the messy parts, have they reached a place where he's saying with utmost certainty that he's going to stay. ]
also, she's seen some of the messiest parts of him and didn't run away. even after everything at dr. lundberg's, she was ultimately still there for him. (they worked through all their issues with their shitty evil boyfriends together.)
and he gets that she's just like him, in some of the best and worst ways. so he can't turn her away like that. he's ride or die. ]
It doesn't bother me either. It's like the hot springs.
It was a little strange at first because I was still dressed and I wasn't there to shower or anything. Just talk to him and watch. But he made me really comfortable.
You think he got something out of being watched?
[ 'something' here subbing for 'sexual gratification.' it's not impossible to imagine. lucas had an easiness about him like that. but also, no erection, so ??? ]
Is it true there are people who enjoy being insulted and spit on? Someone told me that during the tour.
maybe? or maybe he's used to it. i probably wouldn't think about it too much if someone tried to talk to me while i was taking a shower. but he WANTED you to watch, right?
uhhh
a lot of people enjoy a lot of things. if you can think of something, there's probably somebody who gets off on it.
[ poe: ???? REY YOU'RE MY SISTER also poe: i guess we did make a blood pact for sex and that would be useful information ]
rough stuff like scratching and biting. being tied up, blindfolds, that kind of thing. i like oral a lot.
[ sittin there like "i really want at least a threesome and to talk about how i think about weird shit like having sex with droids and nonhumans who aren't just like palette swap humans but i better start small before going into that shit 💦" ]
[ Man look at that. He was just Ready. He had a fuckin list. Rey was proud of herself for being like 'uwu i like being bitten' at Lucas after he made jokes about it like twice. ]
I like scratching and biting.
[ This is weird because she's now acutely aware that he probably did this with Finn and — well, I guess that text is fair because now he's probably trapped with the mental picture of her and Kylo Ren so. Here we are on this fine evening. ]
How did you figure out about the rest? Did someone suggest it to you or did you see it in a holo?
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I kissed him.
[ kiLL HER please. this is worse than with keith. at least when keith figured it out, she was still figuring it out. but poe's going to find out ?? like hayame figured it out. and now they're in sexapalooza here. this isn't the kind of thing they can hide she'd JUST finished telling kylo that the night of the tour. ]
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he was putting a lot of deliberate effort into not thinking about it, honestly. but whoop here it is.
on one level, he was kind of expecting it. that was the whole reason for the deliberate ignoring.
on the second level, ????? ]
how was that
[ out of sheer confusion he spits out the first stupid thought that enters his brain. ]
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Are you
Do you actually want to know? I can't tell.
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[ like she doesn't want it, but she'd feared his agreement: that finn would never want to touch her if he knew. and then maybe add in that he's changed his mind too because he's a little disgusted. she wants to be wrong. she'd hoped she was wrong but now he's just
hard to read
and that's like being in purgatory. ]
Tell me you don't hate me.
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i kind of expected it, okay? i just didn't want to think about it. you were sharing a room on drakstaden. i didn't wanna assume but, you know, you were sharing a room on drakstaden and then you came in my room crying because he wanted you to go away.
i know i'm kinda slow sometimes but i can put two and two together and get four
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Even if he doesn't, he probably won't want it to be me anymore. And I can't just keep it from him knowing that it would change his mind.
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and no matter what happens, you've got me, okay?
as a friend and in the sex way
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[ she can hardly bring herself to believe it because, and she's realizing this now, she's kind of always waiting for people to leave. like her parents did. but poe, he'd started there. and only now, after he's seen all the messy parts, have they reached a place where he's saying with utmost certainty that he's going to stay. ]
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[ and he does. OHANA MEANS FAMILY.
also, she's seen some of the messiest parts of him and didn't run away. even after everything at dr. lundberg's, she was ultimately still there for him. (they worked through all their issues with their shitty evil boyfriends together.)
and he gets that she's just like him, in some of the best and worst ways. so he can't turn her away like that. he's ride or die. ]
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happy beeps, okay? i tell bb-8 that when he's worried. we just gotta have happy beeps.
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This should be fun. It's a strange situation, but we should be having fun.
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I mean it's not exactly what I had in mind when I imagined trying everything, but still.
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there are some attractive people here
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[ she took that 'you can talk to me about this stuff' from before very seriously. ]
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were you watching-watching or taking a shower too or what?
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He invited me to.
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we had communal showers like that when i was in new republic barracks. the shower thing doesn't really bother me
👀🚿
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It was a little strange at first because I was still dressed and I wasn't there to shower or anything. Just talk to him and watch. But he made me really comfortable.
You think he got something out of being watched?
[ 'something' here subbing for 'sexual gratification.' it's not impossible to imagine. lucas had an easiness about him like that. but also, no erection, so ??? ]
Is it true there are people who enjoy being insulted and spit on? Someone told me that during the tour.
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maybe? or maybe he's used to it. i probably wouldn't think about it too much if someone tried to talk to me while i was taking a shower. but he WANTED you to watch, right?
uhhh
a lot of people enjoy a lot of things. if you can think of something, there's probably somebody who gets off on it.
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At least, I think he did. He invited me in with him, said I was welcome to join, but I told him I wasn't ready.
What are you into?
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also poe: i guess we did make a blood pact for sex and that would be useful information ]
rough stuff like scratching and biting. being tied up, blindfolds, that kind of thing. i like oral a lot.
[ sittin there like "i really want at least a threesome and to talk about how i think about weird shit like having sex with droids and nonhumans who aren't just like palette swap humans but i better start small before going into that shit 💦" ]
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I like scratching and biting.
[ This is weird because she's now acutely aware that he probably did this with Finn and — well, I guess that text is fair because now he's probably trapped with the mental picture of her and Kylo Ren so. Here we are on this fine evening. ]
How did you figure out about the rest? Did someone suggest it to you or did you see it in a holo?
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