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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ everything is sensory overload. the way she moans for him (because she's his now, clearly), her nails digging into his back. the way he ruts into her until she bottoms out.

he wants to bite her so bad. take for himself, take something away from kylo ren. he wants to feel her going all limp and submissive against him. because she should. because she's his.

his brain tries to come up for air from hormone lake. you 👏 already 👏 have 👏 an 👏 omega. 👏 finn is his. he laid his claim on finn. every second he's with finn, even when they're not fucking, is fireworks and frisson and feeling like their cells are going to escape their bodies to join hands.

but finn isn't here and he's hungry now. so hungry. and she smells like himself, like engine grease and ozone with a note of something different. maybe salt or sand.

adios brain, it's been real. ]

You're gonna be.

[ he whispers against her skin before biting down, shuddering from the way it makes her scent gland give him a fresh hit. does he really need to explicitly bite over when kylo had already marked her? no. is he going to because he's petty? yes. ]

[ She realizes what he's doing a moment too late for anything to be done about it. Somewhere, distantly, as though locked up in her own mind, buried under the haze of her heat, Rey wants to scream. Wants to thrash and throw him off of her and demand to know why he'd done it when he knew, he knew what Ben had done, how it had hurt her.

But frankly? In this moment, it feels like pure bliss. Something molten and warm floods her body, her heels scramble to find purchase in her back, and the cry she relinquishes is more raw and guttural than any other she's given up for him.

He wants her. This alpha wants her. It shouldn't do these things to her, such a simple fact, such a simple karking biological process, but it does. It's a downright religious experience. She's felt like such a filthy failure of an omega, disappointing her previous alpha, running from him as she had. Being apart from him felt like being torn open. (Even now, some part of her wants to weep, as though rent by what blasphemy they commit here.)

But Poe has looked on her despite all that and found her good and whole and worthy and her whole body is one big raw nerve, alive and drunk on pleasing him. She ruts against him, shuddering with a humiliating suddenness. A fresh surge of fluid slicks his cock where it pounds into her and the walls of her cunt clamp down, trying desperately to hold him in, fluttering around him with her climax.

It won't do anything. It won't change what she gave to Ben or what he gave to Finn. She can't unmate herself. She can't be his, not really. But it's almost like it doesn't matter when they play at it so well.

She's openly weeping, so close to it already from the pain and now struck by the pleasure and the emotional overload. Tears run down her face, and she keeps rushing out the words — ] Thank you, Alpha.

[ why did he do it??? BECAUSE IT FELT GOOD AT THE TIME. clearly. this was not a moment in which thinking was involved. he saw a thing, he wanted a thing, he took a thing. that's the whole alpha aesthetic. if there was thoughtfulness and planning, it wouldn't be the alpha aesthetic.

the way she clenches against him makes his knot swell. he's going for it. his cock is going for it. yeet there he go. he comes inside her hard, crying out with a loud moaning noise on par with one of her own. his entire existence feels shaken and turned upside down for a moment.

his hands had been planted on the ground on either side of her, giving himself thrusting leverage, but he collapses on top of her now. it's like all the frantic heat and hunger pour out of him with all the jizz. he can just lie against her, whispering reassuring words while stroking her hair. ]

You were a good omega. You're so good.

[ even while he's talking and fighting through his exhaustion, the gravity of everything they just did smacks him down now that the rut wave temporarily receded.

he shouldn't have tried to claim her. whether it took or not didn't really matter, though, because now he was locked in. not just right now, for the next 30ish minutes, but for the duration of her heat. ruts were shorter. heats were a whole Event, though. and he couldn't control himself against her. everyone would know. they'd be able to smell it. they could probably smell it right now and put caution tape over the refresher door.

finn would know. ]

[ His knot swells inside of her and she groans through the stretch. It locks them together. She and Ben had tried to separate like this, Ben too twitchy and flustered to stick close for that long, but it had hurt more than it had helped. Frankly, Rey is glad when Poe collapses onto her. He's heavy, but it means he's not so desperately to get away from her. It sates all her omega instincts, and some of her personal neuroses too.

She sags to the floor, letting the sweet reassurances fill her up, letting him pet her hair and hold her and she, in turn, nuzzles into his neck. Alphas don't have mating glands the way omegas do, but his scent is still pronounced here, still hers. His soothing helps the fog clear, and that's a double-edged sword.

Coming back to sanity in the lull between her waves means confronting what he'd done, what she'd let him do. There's a pleasant pang in the gland of her neck, shiny with spit and trickling blood, and that's what sets in first. Not Finn. Not the betrayal she has been complicit in, but the one that feels like it was committed against her body. Again.

If he weren't knotted to her, she'd be kicking him away. As it stands, she can only let out a terrible, croaking sob that shudders through her whole body.

It's not just that he'd known what Ben had done to her, though that's cold and at the forefront of her mind, the fact that Poe should have known to steer clear of her gland. But it's also the grief of knowing that in another time and another place this could have been it instead. This could have been what it was like for Finn, where it was right, and that alpha wanted her, and they stayed together the way mates should. The fairytale existed. It was real. It just wasn't hers. ]

[ his Instinct is to comfort and protect her, so when she cries, he desperately wants to know what's wrong. what he can do to help.

except, in this case, he already knows that the problem is himself. he lost control. he crossed a line he shouldn't have. he dived headfirst into a giant mess. ]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't — I couldn't stop.

[ that's the truth, plain and simple. it's not like he doesn't feel the guilt welling up inside him. but he doesn't know what he could have done differently. how he could have stopped. the entire progression from smelling rey halfway across the base to ending up here on the floor feeling sorry for themselves felt like a straight line with no alternative branches out. ]

[ The anxiety in her scent pitches, continuing to sour the air — more over time, not less. She squirms as though she means to free herself from his knot, but it's a worthless endeavor, and something clenches in her chest at even the thought. She couldn't stand to part from him right now, despite wanting to desperately. It would only push her from grief and misery into a full-blown panic attack.

But lying here with him, drinking in the comfort he tries to offer her with his remorse, it feels dirty and wrong in another way.

She's not just wrong and broken. She's a monster. She's taken Finn's alpha, and it's too easy to hear Poe's apology as a clear declaration of how it's her fault. Her pheromones. Beyond that, she's displeased him, made him miserable when they're supposed to be taking care of each other. A reminder that she is not his mate, she is something broken and disappointing that is only here to distract him, to ruin something that he loves.

She releases a croaking groan and stops shifting suddenly. It feels too good, the way he's stretching her. She hates that especially, right now. ]

I thought you were different.

[ She mutters this because she can't hold it back. There's bitterness there which accuses alpha as a whole of this behavior. Marking without asking, disappointing their omegas. He was supposed to cherish Finn the way that Ben had never properly cherished her. They were supposed to be the fairytale. But he'd hurt Finn and he'd hurt Rey and he was— ]

You were supposed to take care of him.

[ her temporary struggle against his knot creates some amazing friction, even though his brain is like "um that's bad she's trying to get away though?" but his brain is wrong, because the rest of him knows with absolute certainty that that's not happening. ]

I know, I know, I just —

[ while trying to make more apologies and excuses for himself, something clicks. he understands why this is happening. it makes sense. finn was on suppressants. he still went into heat, but the chance of conceiving was practically zero. which was great for their "bang all the time no matter what time of the month it is" lifestyle.

rey wasn't.

whose heat/rut set off the other was a chicken or the egg kind of quandary. it didn't really matter. he found a new viable breeding source, pure ass mexican coke when he'd been thriving off diet. and he had been helpless against it. even now, spent and knotted in, his blood hummed with the idea of getting to fuck her over and over again until it took, true heat style.

but??? finn? ? ? come on coherent thought. come back. back to unknown planet. ]

— I can take care of you both.

[ can he? does star wars have an equivalent of sister wives? ]

[ It'll never be as good as having a real mate. They'll always have the closer bond, Poe and Finn. But for a moment, her hormone-addled brain is just yes, good, alpha will solve your problems. Alpha will make it right. That's not such a loss. She'd never have a real mate except for Ben, and Ben was … complicated. Distant. Dangerous.

She'd have to have someone to help her through her heats. She struggles, still, with the idea that Finn could ever accept this, but it's Finn. It's Finn. He'd share his toothbrush with her if he thought she was going without. And this, well, heats suffered alone were painful. Rey's breath is still short as she mulls it over, avoiding looking at him.

Hurt has transformed into a kind of fulfillment. She's wanted. Poe wants her. It shouldn't feel so good, but she's such a reject omega that she can't help it. She whimpers slightly. ]

Please.

[ This time when she squirms it's to shift his knot slightly so she can feel it stretch her, and she moans with it. The consequences here, where having a heat again means she's fertile again and going without suppressants because she'd never needed them meant the cum Poe's knot was trapping in her was more likely to take — well, that isn't occurring to her right now. She's caught in the blind haze of wanting to feel wanted. Genuinely wanted. ]

[ it's fine, he's not really thinking of what finn would want. finn's preferences. he cares about and loves finn, of course, but what he wants supersedes what finn wants. finn doesn't really get any other choice but to agree.

he's still not really thinking. he tried to regain some kind of handle on thinking, really think about what he's saying or doing, but it's too hard. it's like trying to do math in a dream. there's too much in the way. too many hormones and sensations. every time she shifts against his knot is a reminder that he's still inside her. there was so much hesitance in the way she reprimanded him for disregarding finn, in the way that she squirms like she wants to break free. looking away from him.

but then she gives in. he can feel it. the snap of something changing. relenting. ]

I will. [he kisses her on the mouth, then goes back to where he'd been before, with his face pressed against her neck. he kisses over where he drew blood biting her. does he think that will ease any discomfort she's feeling? probably not. but he gets to take in her scent, which is his main priority.

his. she's his. he shifts on top of her, letting his muscles relax, longing to melt into her. every inch of her is his and he wants to rub his scent all over her until everyone else knows it, too. erase any trace of kylo ren that might have been left behind. kylo ren abandoned her and now she's his. ]

I'll take care of you, okay? You don't ever have to be alone again.

[ ♬ we'll never have problems again.mp3 ]

[ She shivers when his lips find her mating gland again. Her whole body wants to indulge in the warmth of it, rejoice in how good it feels to have attention paid there, but anxiety winds through her when he gets near it too, the Rey parts of her too traumatized by being loved and left to want anyone near that again. It can't properly belong to him anyway.

It keeps her from fully submerging in the warm afterglow of his knot, even now that she has surrendered to wanting to call herself his. She cannot really be his. There is a thin, rumbling tension in her biology that tells her she should be ashamed of herself for trying to take another mate. She tries to hush it, desperately. ]

Poe. [ It's caught somewhere between anguish and relief, a moan that she buries in his neck in turn, wrapping her arms around him so that she can stay here, cling to him, to this. He knows all the right words, this alpha. He can take care of her. He can fix what is so terribly broken in her, or at least, he wants to do his best to. ] Promise me.

I promise. [ the words come as easily as anything else. he's gone full-tilt into his make-rey-also-his-omega campaign. (his biology doesn't care. his cells are high-fiving each other like "dude the only thing better than one omega is two." alphas are dumb.)

anyway, look at her. she's so sad and alone and lost. what kind of alpha would abandon his omega like that? it's unforgivable. the thought of it sets a sharp shock of anger through his thoughts, even through the haze of the afterglow. he is 100 percent down for fighting kylo ren for rey's honor. he'll meet him in the pit and tear him apart with his bare hands. ]

I promise. [ he repeats it again, piling on the sincerity. ] I'm gonna take such good care of you. We'll make it right. I'm gonna make it right. [ read: i'm going to murder kylo ren. ]

[ Make … what … right …

A good question which is 100% lost to her right now in the haze of yesgoodmoreplease. Poe offering to take care of her is like heroin right now, and the promise has her humming and nipping at the scratchy underside of his jaw. She squeezes around his knot, a pulse bringing with it a fresh deluge of slick, spurred on by his commitment.

Poe was the ideal alpha. Solid. Brave. Aggressive. Poe would protect their family, her family. Poe and Finn would be her family. It sets in with a sudden, warm rush. She makes her way up to his mouth for a heady kiss, tasting him, drinking him down. It's silent gratitude. Appreciation. ]

[ he kisses back in his usual way — always too hard, too much — but right now "too hard" doesn't feel like enough. when he bites at her lip (another one of his ~usual moves~), he bites too hard. he can taste blood like copper in his mouth as soon as he does, but it doesn't stop him. he lets the red mix in with their spit.

you know what he's into now? murder talk. thinking about doing a murder for rey is The Good Shit. it's prepping him for round two. the thought of doing something for rey, proving himself and showing that he could protect her ... it gives him a rush like he just did a hit of the good spice. (speaking of, when he breaks the kiss, his face finds its way back to her neck to take in the undiluted scent from her mating gland. mix the blood from her lip with the blood from her neck. it's all the same blood, it's fine.

she didn't ask for it but here's some Pillow Talk.]

You know what I'm gonna do? [ he breathes the words against her neck. ] I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find Kylo Ren, and I'm going to kill him. Because he left you. He treated you like nothing, and you're not. You're too good for him. You're mine. Nobody's ever gonna hurt you like that again. I'm gonna tear him apart.

[ he's not even envision using a blaster. he's like yeah i'm just dead ass gonna tear him apart with my bare hands watch me yeet. ]

[ It's just over the threshold of too much, somehow. It's not a way she can quantify right away. Her biology should be content, should be drinking down the alpha pheromones, but the way in which his scent wasn't quite right persists in this too. She cannot help but compare.

Ben would bite and scratch and devour her too. There would be aggression and violence and hunger. But the balance is wrong. She had fallen into Ben for the way he nurtured her — the promise that he'd care for his omega and she'd never want for anything again.

It's Poe's words that clears up the picture. The focus on violence, on hurting Ben. Hurting her mate. Her whole body revolts against it. Dead. Dead dead dead. You got your mate killed. She feels suddenly, violently ill with it, a whole-body kind of anxiety that has her lungs tightening and her stomach twisting and her head spinning.

She pushes Poe out of her neck. She hadn't thought protecting their family would mean killing her mate, though the logical progression there is obvious. The conflicting signals are ugly. No, don't upset Alpha, he's helping you. and Enemy, enemy, threatened your mate; your mate wouldn't have left if you'd been a good Omega. ]

Stop. [ The scramble to shove him away from her neck becomes more desperate and determined. ] Stop.

[ he senses he shift before she starts pulling him away. the shift from feeling safe and wanted to afraid.

damn. sometimes he gets a lil too intense he can't help it. who he is as a person + those potent alpha hormones makes for a dangerous combo. a serial killer special. he lifts his head away from her neck, concern lining his features. a small trace of blood still on his lips. he just wanted to make her happy, to protect her ... this was not the desired outcome. ]

I'm — I'm sorry. [ he comes down from the high and reverts to something closer to himself for a minute there. that was a nice bucket of ice water dumped over his head. ]

I just want to protect you.

[ why was that wrong? why was he being punished for instinct?

one part of his brain turns the lightbulb on to announce "this never would have happened with finn." and it was right. he knew his brain was right. finn was something, someone custom-made for him. maybe this ... all of this was him trying too hard. ]

[ This is wrong. Terrible and wrong — in both biology and reason. The worst is knowing that her body wants it and hates it at the same time. It feels like a betrayal — of herself by her body, and of her biology by her self. She can't even be a good karking omega. She's worthless. Useless. Beyond that, she's frustrating.

Listen to your alpha apologize. Listen. You've hurt him.

But no. He's not her alpha. They can play at it all they want, and he's a good alpha, a real one, he feels warm and solid and sturdy inside of her, enfolding her, but — Force, he's Finn's. And she is Ben's. For better or worse. It's better to be cold and lonely without him than to taste the poison of trying to replace him. ]

No. [ It's not directed at him, but at the fresh surge of slick between her thighs. It turns to a progressive series of groans, woeful and bemoaning. It's a new wave of heat coming on. No matter what realization they have arrived at, her hormones aren't done with her. ]

[ she pulls him down with her. he can feel the way the slick envelopes his cock, a fresh new wave of her scent filling his nose. the part of him that's truly his — that tiny little scrap of him that possesses sense and reason — gets drowned out. they're synced up now. it feels amazing. he can't imagine pulling out. just stuck inside her forever. ]

C'mon. C'mon, it's okay.

[ thinking? what is thinking. he's back to trying to do math in a dream. math in a dream where he's also drunk. every time he thinks he can focus enough to look at the numbers, they're all backwards and sideways. it's easier to just give in and move on to round two. maybe things will click into place and normalize as the spend more time with each other. yep. that's gotta be it.

after whispering in her ear, he switches to gently biting at her neck, trailing down to her shoulder. trying to soothe while his body echoes back to her hormones by getting hard. ]

[ The whine that responds to his touch sounds equally pained and relieved, as though the same biology that makes her body sing for him is the same which punishes her for daring to engage in this with someone other than Ben. But Ben Solo is nowhere to be found, could not be summoned to appear before her now if she tried. Only Kylo Ren remains.

And therefore, Poe is all she has.

In theory then he is helping her. Providing her with something she needs to make it through this heat, to survive it, to do anything but suffer in the days since it has triggered in her. But it doesn't feel like a favor. It feels double-edged in nature, for in addition to the basic frustration, it also soothes her, and that in turn makes her feel more disgusted with herself for letting it satisfy her.

She's wrong for wanting it, but she can't stop it from allowing it to fulfill that need, and incrementally the part of her mind that feels wrong for wanting it gets quieter, instincts waking up to accept it fully, to seek out satisfaction and try to drown out the metallic taste of grief, sour and sickly.

So she dissolves into groans, over time, rolling her hips up to try and draw his cock inside of her, to get him deeper inside of her. ]

Please. [ She's not sure what she's asking for, not really. For relief, yes, but relief from him or from the ache burning inside of her, gnawing away at her? ] It hurts.

[ his actions are still echoing; he's eager to reciprocate. rutting hard against her. trying to knot back in. he knows he's bottomed out inside her, but what if he can go deeper? what if her vagina is inception?

there's a pang of guilt about finn, but it doesn't register on the same wavelength as rey's grief. take and more drown out his mixed feelings. i love you sweaty but also i get to do whatever i want and you can deal with it, how about that. ]

Should I —

[ he's not sure what that means, because he's not a mindreader and isn't really using his mind in the first place right now. he can't stop, he doesn't know how. that doesn't even show up in his mental database as an option. does how much she want it hurt? that would make sense. he knows the feeling, lived through it during every rut. that sense of need sharp like a knife. ]

— I can go slower. [ he makes an executive decision that that's what "it hurts" means. he was just being too rough. he tries to be slower and more deliberate in his thrusting. the way his hips strike against hers. it takes like 5% more restraint than he was using, but going slower actually ... feels really good? hm. good observations for later. ]

[ Oh. Oh.

Her hormones are like oooh Alpha take care of me. And in that way, she's left lazily doped up by how satisfying it is to have him attend her needs with little more than an announcement of her feelings. She hadn't even needed to ask. He just adjusted for her, taking caution, treating her like something precious. Rey croons.

She loses track of the truth, that it was a spiritual wound as much as physical.

But beyond the fact that he has cared for her, she has found that slow is exactly how she wants it right now. She has never had slow, gentle, loving sex before. Certainly not during a heat. Rey rolls her hips up into his, spreads her legs wider for him, welcomes him in properly now. Her muscles have relaxed for him, welcomed his presence. Accepted the physical need, even in the absence of a proper connection. ]

[ with no complaints or suggestions following, he decides that his assessment was correct and gives himself an internal pat on the back for being so attuned to his omega's needs. he can tell he was right not only because of that, but because of a whole shift in her body language. the way she loosens up, ready to melt into him.

at first, it's honestly a little hard to maintain the gentle pace he's started down instead of straight up wrecking her. because he wants to. so much. it's helpfully overpowered by how he wants to take care of her. omega's needs come first. what omega wants, omega gets, etc. once he starts thinking that way, it's fine. it's like he enters a mental flow zone.

he presses his face against her neck again. it helps take the edge off the pure want. is he — oh. he's already feeling another knot start to form. ]

[ It's the knot, the fact of anchoring himself in her and claiming her for his own and locking them together, which brings her over the edge. The pleasant start of the stretch adds stimulation, leaves her unable to draw anything but the shallowest of breaths as she grabs at the floor, trying to find something to hold onto as she starts to come apart.

It's a gradual thing this time. Not shaky and violent, but like slipping underwater, a warmth that rolls over her and drags her under until something shudders in the pit of her stomach and she whimpers and trembles as it pulses through her body, that climax, which only squeezes her tighter around his knot.

The fit makes her cry out. Not the orgasm itself, but the way that it makes his swelling knot feel larger, verging on the pleasant side of painful. She seethes with it, and a profane slew of grateful praise slips out — Thank you, Alpha, thank you thank youthankyou. Little of it coherent. ]

[ the way her body is trying to pull the knot up inside her, the way she so painfully wants him (or at least, you know, her body and her hormones do) makes him feel like he's on some top-of-the-line designer spice. every bit of her was made for him.

he comes again — with no refractory time in-between he's left feeling like "wow, that was a lot. was that my all of me?" but it's not a complaint. not really.

with her only maybe 30 percent coherent praise train, he feels the need to respond in kind. let her know what a good omega she was being. and she was good, truly and honestly. why would anyone discard her like that???? it was insane. murder is definitely going to come later. after eating and rehydrating and maybe taking a nap and then fucking for like two more days. then, then. murder. ]

You were so good. You're so good. It's okay, it's okay. You're perfect.

[ no one will ever be able to use this bathroom again. ]

[ Perfect brings a pink shade to her cheeks. She preens, nudging her nose at his neck, savoring the scent of him even through the brackish, repelling scent of Finn on him. He belongs to another. Her whole body screams with it, but it's in constant war with the way that he showers praise upon her.

She has never felt like a good omega until him. Still doesn't, in her rational non-lizard brain. A good omega doesn't steal Finn's alpha away and make him knot her on the floor of the refresher for nine years. But Poe makes her believe it in her heart of hearts (in her hormones of hormones). ]

Thank you, Alpha.

You can just call me Poe.

[ his brain is still undecided on how wrong this is. maybe it's a little wrong, but his instinct is to take and take and rey needed someone to protect her, so? look at her. look at the way she's latching onto him and also onto his every word. ( the part of him that isn't a hormonal mess would probably object with "that's because she's in heat, dipshit." or something like that. whatever.) ]

It's okay. I'd rather you call me by my name.

[ "finn doesn't call me alpha either" is a cool thing he almost says and then bites his tongue on as he thinks better of it. ]

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