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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ his default mode around her is always on edge — sometimes he forgets there's any other way to be, until he's alone. his ever-present discomfort doesn't rise above the baseline until she raises her hand in the familiar gesture. before he can even sense her reaching for anything, thoughts or feelings, he's already reliving all the other things she's already done to him. a whole mental flinch.

in that respect, she gets what she wants. adrenaline courses through him as he keeps stepping back. is he going towards the door? he doesn't know, because his vision is tunneling. ]

No. No, I'm not. I don't.

[ this is clearly not the truth, but he can't make the real words come out. he can't admit that much weakness, even though she no doubt already knows. ]

[ She senses it, like plucking a string and feeling the vibration of sound go through the air. The pulse of adrenaline, the sound of an increased heartbeat, the tang of fear that draws the dark out more and chases the light away. For a moment she considers drawing out that fear and wariness, to make it blossom with breathtaking intensity and watch the oft-paralyzing result.

But -- she doesn't want to break his mind, and it could be so easy to do accidentally when she played with fear. She'll have to sate her urges a different way. ]

Don't lie to me, Poe. I don't like it when people lie.

[ Having enough of his backpedaling, Kylo curls her fingers to stop his movement and jerks her hand to the side, using her telekinesis to throw him toward the table. She strides after him and doesn't hesitate to get in his personal space as soon as she's able to, seeking to pin him between the table and her body. One of her hands grabs his hip, and she absently wets her lips at the emotions she can feel coming off of him. ]

You seemed to be very open and honest with that droid of yours. I've learned all kinds of things about you. Some very useful things.

[ the droid. bb-8. his logs. he knew they'd scour through them for information about the resistance, but he didn't factor in his personal logs. another thing that he should have accounted for, but did not.

of course, he didn't account for being telekinetically flung into the table, either. his arms scramble to grab at the table for support, only to find himself pinned. instead, he grabs at her wrist and tries to pry her hand off his hip. he's not entirely sure he can get away, but it doesn't have to be like this. ]

Oh yeah? Anything good?

Nothing you'd like me to know, I'm sure.

[ Kylo leans against him, ignoring his clear desire for her not to touch him. For the moment she doesn't stop him pulling her hand off his hip, mostly because she curls her other arm around him and splays that hand low on his stomach. ]

Some juicy details buried within those logs of yours. I understand now the reason for your inexperience. [ She taunts, her voice low, as her hand drifts south. ] It's given me a few new ideas as well. [ Yes and no, really; nothing that hadn't crossed her mind already but now shifted around on her mental 'to do' list. Not that he needs to know that. ]

[ he knows where this is going. she's spelled it out for him plain and simple. in giant flashing letters. at least his face doesn't flush this time. he endures this brand of taunting with a straight face and a clenched jaw. since getting her hand away from his hip in fact made things worse, he's left digging back into the table, just wishing he could push past it. past her. do a barrel roll across the table and leave. he's also wishing he could ignore the the tingling sensation that comes with her touch. ]

I feel like we could do with a little less of your ideas.

[ When she doesn't get as much of a reaction as she was hoping for her eyes narrow slightly and she moves her hand to cup him through his pants, giving a firm squeeze. ]

You'd like that, wouldn't you, Dameron? If I were utterly uncreative and uninterested in what makes you tick.

The thing is, right now quite honestly I'm not interested in what you want.

[ He does get a brief reprieve from her touch as she moves to take her cloak off, simply for the fact of not wanting the excess fabric to get in her way. But then her hands are back on him as she tries to push him outright onto the table instead of bend him over it. She can't do exactly what she wants (which only serves to feed her irritation) since the setting only allows for so many options and she hadn't expected anything in the meeting to set her off, but she'll make do. ]

[ his breath catches when she squeezes him — the action was excepted, but he wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as he had. which was a problem. enjoying this, anything she did to him was a problem.

now, what she's doing to him is pushing him back onto the table. he's still latching onto the idea of sliding off the table and escaping if given half a chance, even though he already knows he wouldn't make it out the door. especially not with the erratic mood swings he's witnessed from kylo ren today.

(he's learning.) ]

Oh, yeah, no, I can tell that. It's never much about me here.

[ There's not an immediate verbal reply as she climbs onto the table as well and moves on top of him, not wanting him to have a chance to get away. One hands goes to his chest in an effort to hold him down as she leans over him, and the feel of his heartbeat has her wanting to make it quicken even more. ]

It's a little about you, in the sense of how I can use you to get what I want.

[ She reaches down with her other hand to fondle him, rubbing him through his pants to start getting him hard. ]

For all that you don't seem interested in women, I think you just hadn't found the right woman. One not so delicate who can more than handle you. [ The dark smirk returns to Kylo's lips as she leans down, almost close enough to kiss him. ] In a way I'm glad. Not simply because, as I've said before, I can train you more easily. But also because it's going to be even more fun when I introduce you to my toy collection. It's really rather impressive the things people can create to suit any possible need.

[ Her gaze never leaves him as she speaks, her hand still moving if he hasn't tried to stop her. ]

[ he's scowling at her, but it's hard to formulate a response because of the way she's rubbing him. no, he's not interested in women, and especially not interested in her, but he still can't help but react. not just in the sense that her plan to get him hard may slowly be actually working, but his heartbeat is quickening with equal parts fear, disgust, and arousal. as much as he doesn't want this, some small argumentative part of him insists that if he didn't want it, he wouldn't be feeling anything at all. he'd somehow be impervious. so what is this?

he still tries to pull back. to slide back against the table somehow. ]

That's really sweet and all, but I'm not interested.

[ His remark causes her to laugh, the sound low and dark, and her hand curls against his chest as if she might try to reach through and grab his heart. Fear is such a sweet perfume and she'd be content to bathe in his and leave him a shivering, quaking mess beneath her. ]

I can fix that, oh so easily.

[ She shifts, both hands going to his shoulders and pressing him down against the table with a little shove as she keeps her face close, eyes seeking to catch his. ]

I can make it so you're not interested in anyone in the galaxy but me. So you've never wanted anyone more.

[ It's a tempting threat, although one for a later time. Right now she wants him to have the ability to fight, to protest, so it's all the more satisfying when she takes what she wants regardless of his efforts.

Sitting up, she makes short work of getting his pants unfastened and practically yanks them down over his hips. Her attention then turns to her own pants, for one of the only times quietly lamenting to herself that something less restrictive would make such moments easier for her. ]

This is what I'm talking about when I said sick and twisted. This.

[ he's still trying to talk back, as is his nature, but the reply is lacking in gravitas. he re-racks his brain for possible escapes routes, but there aren't any.

so he mentally switches it up. it'll be okay. he's done this before. it's just going to be more of her using him, taking whatever she wants. he just has to last through it, then it'll be over. (until the next time.)

and he lets her — not that he has much of a choice. he lets her pull down his pants, the sensation of cold air not exactly helping his determination to somehow not get hard around her. ]

[ She maneuvers so she can push the fabric down past her knees, not ripping it only because it's a fair distance back to her quarters and simply taking someone else's pants isn't such an easy thing as tall as she is. It's fine; just one more irritation to add to the pile of things helping to keep her in an aggressive mood. The panties though, those get ripped, knowing they were bound to be anyway by the time she's through. ]

You make it sound like you don't want it. [ One of her hands curls around him, giving a firm stroke. ] You don't feel like you don't want it.

[ Kylo's well aware the mind and body aren't always in agreement. She was counting on it to a degree. ]

But sick and twisted? [ She lightly clicks her tongue as she straddles his hips, splaying her other hand on his chest as she leans over him. ] It's not as if I have any blades nearby so I could pin your hands to the table and make doubly sure you're not going to go anywhere. All I have is... [ Shifting, she reaches to pick up her lightsaber, having set it and her belt nearby. She toys with the saber hilt, looking from it to him. ] I could get creative, but I'd rather keep you in one piece.

I meant the mind stuff. But yeah, this isn't great, either.

[ he doesn't want it. but if he protests more, he feels like it'll draw attention to how much his body is suggesting that he does. her stroking him isn't helping the situation any.

does he expect her to introduce lightsaber-play to this encounter? no, but his expression does scrunch up sourly. ]

No thanks.

It had been on the itinerary today, seeing as I haven't gone poking around inside your head very much. [ she informs him as she sets the saber back down, making sure it's out of his reach. Does she think he'd actually try for it if he had half a chance? Not really, but why risk it.

Continuing to stroke him, she leans down again and kisses him hard, neither expecting or particularly caring if he reciprocates. Although she does quicken the pace of her hand, feeling slightly impatient to get on with it. ]

I do wonder which you would hate more, being made to want me or to enjoy the torture.

[ After a few moments more she shifts her hips, settling herself over him so she can guide him inside with her hand. She's wet but there's still a slight burn from the stretch and she sucks in a breath only to exhale in a quiet groan, rocking her hips against his and savoring that slight edge of pain. ]

[ honestly, taking the lightsaber didn't even occur to him. he's that deep in it, he didn't consider that means of escape. he doesn't reciprocate the kiss, but he also doesn't try to escape. that's where he is now. lying still out of a lack of options. ]

Can I choose both? Kind of hating both, actually.

[ related: he's got a great idea and it's "trying to lie still until she leaves me alone." he tries that. he tries really hard to not writhe under her when she switches from her hand to her cunt, to ignore the way it makes his stomach twist — not out of disgust, but anticipation. ]

Is there anything you don't hate?

[ He may claim to hate or dislike everything that's been happening to him since his capture, but she's all but certain he doesn't regard everything equally. Even if just in his subconscious she's sure there's a thing or two that he dislikes the least. She hasn't yet sorted out how he compares the sex to the outright torture, but she imagines after a few more instances of either she'll begin to get a feel for what value his mind assigns to each. Once she knows that then she can start to decide how best to punish and reward him, and wear down his resistance all the more.

For now though... for now she wants something specific, something he's not quite giving her. But she knows how to fix that.

As she moves her hips against his she leans over him and her hands, rather than go to his chest or shoulders to hold him down (something she's a little surprised isn't necessary), move to his neck. Further taunting is tempting but she doesn't say anything as she wraps her hands around his throat and starts to squeeze. ]

[ he hates the sex more than the torture honestly, because the sex comes with enjoying it and then subsequently feeling used, dirty, and guilty. torture is straightforward. he feels pain, he feels bad. a to b.

any reply he was planning on using is dashed out. as someone who wasn't forewarned about this kink and is having it done by someone who he's sure just might try to kill him, he's not holding back any reflexes to get her off of him.

or at least, that's what he thinks. for a second. he starts to. as she presses in and constricts his breathing, sparks flash in his peripheral vision. he starts to feel dizzy, but … in a good way? there's no room for mixed feelings, just a small wave of euphoria and a desire for more. ]

[ Ah yes, there it is, that struggle she wants. She feels a little thrill, a spike of pleasure low in her body that makes her drive her hips down hard against his and stay close, simply grinding her hips against his so any potential struggling has less chance to separate them. Licking her lips, she can already imagine bruises on his throat. It's not returning the favor from last time; she wanted him to get rough, and the biting had been a pleasant surprise. But she definitely gets enjoyment from leaving her own marks behind, including those marks left by a weapon.

Sure, she could choke him with the Force, but where would the fun be in that? There's something far more visceral and satisfying actually putting her hands on someone. Feeling their life in her hands and knowing she could take it. Once upon a time she never wanted a smidge of power and now she all but constantly chases it, whether it's to be found in dominating a star system or a single person.

As she tightens her grip though she senses pleasure that isn't her own. Which isn't exactly unexpected, she's done this sort of thing enough to know the body tends to react in certain ways, but it feels like a little more than just a physiological reaction. Then again, she could simply be projecting her enjoyment of this particular kink onto him.

Kylo tilts her head almost curiously as she watches him and focuses more intently on trying to get a read on what he's feeling. For the moment she doesn't tighten her grip any further, keeping the pressure on but still allowing him some leeway to breathe. ]

[ on an instinctual animal level he wants to breathe as a base requirement of living. but more than that, somehow, he wants more. just enough pressure to keep feeling dizzy and lightheaded and — perhaps mostly importantly — unable to think coherently. that this is kylo ren choking him doesn't matter.

he tries to thrust into her, but it's closer to rhythmless thrashing in nature.

maybe, on some level, the idea of dying instead of being here was so appealing that he wanted to lean into it. ]

[ She felt pleasure from him before, when his head was between her legs, but this has a different edge to it. Granted, that first time she was rather distracted by her own pleasure and wasn't paying much attention to what he was feeling. But there's something here, something she wants to investigate, something that intrigues her.

It's difficult to focus though when he moves, responds in a way that isn't trying to rip her hands away from his neck. His erratic thrusts force a moan out of her, eyes shutting for a brief moment at the warmth that floods her. Maybe... maybe she'll chase this new thread of curiosity later. When she wouldn't rather chase the way he's -- likely unintentionally -- making her feel.

Kylo keeps her grip steady on his throat as she leans over him, shifting the angle of her hips a little, and she half kisses him just because she wants to, not because she's trying to briefly cut off a source of air. She lingers close, nipping at his jaw as she thrusts her hips down against his. ]

[ just like he has no real control of this situation in regard to what she's doing to him, he can't even control himself when he comes hard inside her, a gasping moan trying to force itself out of the constricted space of his throat. it took very little time; he was just experiencing a whole new kink that strongly, okay. his muscles tense and contact as his mind completely blanks out — which is good, because he doesn't have to fully experience her half-kissing him this way. one microscopic benefit out of all of this.

it's only then that he tries to struggle out from under her, but he doesn't get very far with it. he'd have to have a directional sense that he just doesn't have between the limited air supply and suddenly feeling boneless. ]

[ There's something immensely satisfying about the moment to her. Somewhere in the realm of when she breaks someone and senses that final barrier slip away, or when she gathers whatever piece of information she's intently after. It's surrender, in a sense. Instinct, reflex, whatever one might want to call it.

At least that's how it hits her senses when he comes undone beneath her, seeming to catch them both by surprise. She wants to savor it, to try and make note of the details so she can then later sort out what garnered the most response and try to invoke this kind of reaction from him again. But her own pleasure is burning hot, fueled by the unrestricted wave of his pleasure and the way he moves inside her.

Kylo curses, low and heartfelt, as her hips ride out his own staggered movements. It's not more than another minute or two until she finds her own release and her hands briefly tighten around his throat as her body tenses. She has enough clarity of mind to realize it though and eases the grip she has on him, her hands moving to the table on either side of him to brace herself as she works to catch her breath, eyes closed for the moment as she does so. ]

[ with nothing else to do and nowhere else to go, his hips shift to meet hers while she finds her climax, despite feeling completely spent himself.

but then it's over. he finds himself not exactly liking being able to breathe again. the hazy half-conscious space he was occupying was better than the reality of kylo ren on top of him like this. ]

Are you ... happy now? Got what you wanted?

[ his voice is more hoarse than he was expecting, which was dumb on his part. but. she wanted him to like it. and he had. maybe she can take the way he came so easily as an admission instead of actually making him voice it. ]

[ Her reply doesn't come immediately, in part due to the fact that some of her anger has been washed away by the wave of pleasure. It's not exactly how she intended to release said anger but it's just as well. For all intents and purposes it's certainly the safest way it could have happened. ]

You surprise me sometimes, Dameron. [ is what she ends up remarking, still a little breathless. She shifts her weight to one hand as the other moves to push her hair back from her face, eyes opening to look down at him, and there's a certain amount of curiosity in her gaze. Genuine curiosity, even if it might be the sort that often precedes taking things apart to find out how they tick.

Her hand goes to his throat, fingers brushing over the marks blooming from her grip, and a pleased smile crosses her face. Yes, she supposed to an extent she was happy, for the moment.

Kylo climbs off of him and off the table, standing beside it while she straightens her clothes. She's not settled, not entirely, but she's at least not likely to murder the next person she sees.

A glance back to him — and to his neck — and she can't help but smirk. ]

Might be time to put a collar on that neck of yours. At least when I don't have my hands wrapped around it.

[ he surprised himself. he doesn't want to say it. it would mean talking about what happened, and having to admit that he felt any kind of pleasure, no matter how involuntary it had been.

he uses her getting off of him as his own opportunity to reclothe and straighten up. now that the adrenaline levels aren't quite as high, his neck feels more and more sore. he doesn't need to examine it in the mirror to know that it's going to bruise. as soon as she sends him to medical to wipe her old marks off, she puts more on. part of him wonders if this is going to be routine.

and then the rest of him blanches because he just thought about being here in the longterm. ]

I don't think I'd look good in a collar.

[ trying his best to stay sassy while hoarse, clearly. ]

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