[ i mean rey likes when he makes that face but not when it's about poe dying. also poe's still going when she tried to bring it back to finn so obviously he has not yet gotten the reaction he wants here. which is probably— ]
Figures that he can't even be nice about being nice.
I'm glad you're alright, at least. That's what's really important.
[ another two paths diverged in a yellow wood: talking about ur crush ur trying to pretend you don't care about anymore or talking ad nauseam about YOUR NEMESIS. insert the kate beaton comic.
it's a no brainer rey. miss him with that gay shit!!! ]
yeah. guess so.
[ okay, fine. he'll loop back. now that he's done with His Nemesis. ]
but yeah. the finn thing? i dunno. i told him kylo was here because i thought he'd remember and he freaked out. it's probably gonna take him awhile. again. i don't even know if he worked through it all the way the first time
you're still you though. i mean, look at me. i know about the kylo ren stuff and i'm gonna be honest, i don't like it. but i care about you and i know it's important to you.
he'll get there.
[ he wants to go hard with the inspirational speech about finn, but considering his radical interpretation of events where finn left him because of the thrawn stuff, he doesn't feel comfortable saying "he'll love you no matter what." ouch. ]
[ but does he know about all of it though ? ?? ? does he ?? ? (no.) ]
I kissed him.
[ kiLL HER please. this is worse than with keith. at least when keith figured it out, she was still figuring it out. but poe's going to find out ?? like hayame figured it out. and now they're in sexapalooza here. this isn't the kind of thing they can hide she'd JUST finished telling kylo that the night of the tour. ]
[ he's really dumb and he was willfully ignoring the depth of her relationship with kylo ren. of course, he'd wondered about the whole sleepover thing on drakstaden, but it couldn't have been THAT MUCH. she went there with the whole virgin thing on the way to zhautas. so then, he was like "oh maybe it was ... just a sleepover ..."
he was putting a lot of deliberate effort into not thinking about it, honestly. but whoop here it is.
on one level, he was kind of expecting it. that was the whole reason for the deliberate ignoring.
on the second level, ????? ]
how was that
[ out of sheer confusion he spits out the first stupid thought that enters his brain. ]
[ like she doesn't want it, but she'd feared his agreement: that finn would never want to touch her if he knew. and then maybe add in that he's changed his mind too because he's a little disgusted. she wants to be wrong. she'd hoped she was wrong but now he's just
i kind of expected it, okay? i just didn't want to think about it. you were sharing a room on drakstaden. i didn't wanna assume but, you know, you were sharing a room on drakstaden and then you came in my room crying because he wanted you to go away.
i know i'm kinda slow sometimes but i can put two and two together and get four
[ she can hardly bring herself to believe it because, and she's realizing this now, she's kind of always waiting for people to leave. like her parents did. but poe, he'd started there. and only now, after he's seen all the messy parts, have they reached a place where he's saying with utmost certainty that he's going to stay. ]
also, she's seen some of the messiest parts of him and didn't run away. even after everything at dr. lundberg's, she was ultimately still there for him. (they worked through all their issues with their shitty evil boyfriends together.)
and he gets that she's just like him, in some of the best and worst ways. so he can't turn her away like that. he's ride or die. ]
It doesn't bother me either. It's like the hot springs.
It was a little strange at first because I was still dressed and I wasn't there to shower or anything. Just talk to him and watch. But he made me really comfortable.
You think he got something out of being watched?
[ 'something' here subbing for 'sexual gratification.' it's not impossible to imagine. lucas had an easiness about him like that. but also, no erection, so ??? ]
Is it true there are people who enjoy being insulted and spit on? Someone told me that during the tour.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Figures that he can't even be nice about being nice.
I'm glad you're alright, at least. That's what's really important.
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it's a no brainer rey. miss him with that gay shit!!! ]
yeah. guess so.
[ okay, fine. he'll loop back. now that he's done with His Nemesis. ]
but yeah. the finn thing? i dunno. i told him kylo was here because i thought he'd remember and he freaked out. it's probably gonna take him awhile. again. i don't even know if he worked through it all the way the first time
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I can't do it, Poe.
I can't have sex with Finn.
No matter how he feels right now, when I tell him about Kylo, he won't want to touch me.
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he'll get there.
[ he wants to go hard with the inspirational speech about finn, but considering his radical interpretation of events where finn left him because of the thrawn stuff, he doesn't feel comfortable saying "he'll love you no matter what." ouch. ]
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I kissed him.
[ kiLL HER please. this is worse than with keith. at least when keith figured it out, she was still figuring it out. but poe's going to find out ?? like hayame figured it out. and now they're in sexapalooza here. this isn't the kind of thing they can hide she'd JUST finished telling kylo that the night of the tour. ]
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he was putting a lot of deliberate effort into not thinking about it, honestly. but whoop here it is.
on one level, he was kind of expecting it. that was the whole reason for the deliberate ignoring.
on the second level, ????? ]
how was that
[ out of sheer confusion he spits out the first stupid thought that enters his brain. ]
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Are you
Do you actually want to know? I can't tell.
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[ like she doesn't want it, but she'd feared his agreement: that finn would never want to touch her if he knew. and then maybe add in that he's changed his mind too because he's a little disgusted. she wants to be wrong. she'd hoped she was wrong but now he's just
hard to read
and that's like being in purgatory. ]
Tell me you don't hate me.
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i kind of expected it, okay? i just didn't want to think about it. you were sharing a room on drakstaden. i didn't wanna assume but, you know, you were sharing a room on drakstaden and then you came in my room crying because he wanted you to go away.
i know i'm kinda slow sometimes but i can put two and two together and get four
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Even if he doesn't, he probably won't want it to be me anymore. And I can't just keep it from him knowing that it would change his mind.
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and no matter what happens, you've got me, okay?
as a friend and in the sex way
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[ she can hardly bring herself to believe it because, and she's realizing this now, she's kind of always waiting for people to leave. like her parents did. but poe, he'd started there. and only now, after he's seen all the messy parts, have they reached a place where he's saying with utmost certainty that he's going to stay. ]
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[ and he does. OHANA MEANS FAMILY.
also, she's seen some of the messiest parts of him and didn't run away. even after everything at dr. lundberg's, she was ultimately still there for him. (they worked through all their issues with their shitty evil boyfriends together.)
and he gets that she's just like him, in some of the best and worst ways. so he can't turn her away like that. he's ride or die. ]
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happy beeps, okay? i tell bb-8 that when he's worried. we just gotta have happy beeps.
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This should be fun. It's a strange situation, but we should be having fun.
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I mean it's not exactly what I had in mind when I imagined trying everything, but still.
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there are some attractive people here
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[ she took that 'you can talk to me about this stuff' from before very seriously. ]
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were you watching-watching or taking a shower too or what?
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He invited me to.
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we had communal showers like that when i was in new republic barracks. the shower thing doesn't really bother me
👀🚿
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It was a little strange at first because I was still dressed and I wasn't there to shower or anything. Just talk to him and watch. But he made me really comfortable.
You think he got something out of being watched?
[ 'something' here subbing for 'sexual gratification.' it's not impossible to imagine. lucas had an easiness about him like that. but also, no erection, so ??? ]
Is it true there are people who enjoy being insulted and spit on? Someone told me that during the tour.
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