open post

[followhim]

☒ action ☒ text ☒ picture prompts ☒ overflow ☒ etc

WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus


★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia


★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Comments

[bythehand]

[ way better to die hugging than most of the other options.

he let poe lean against him on the train for a while, a solid warm line up his side. he and poe were reaching for each other's hands all over the place while they were walking around. the hug is... better??? he doesn't even care that poe gunned it without getting an answer.

maybe that's just the relief of not getting chased off with a broom talking. it's true though. it's better. it's a good thing. it doesn't hurt. it doesn't have to trace back to anything raw and missing.

his heart's still on its pounding One Fear bullshit, but he can be bothered to hug back, which goes 0-100 from "is it okay if i do that" to "oh cool my actual lifeline" immediately. the whole paradigm shifts. poe might be the most real and solid thing in the universe. ]

I'm sorry.

[ tfw u probably wouldn't cry if someone shot u, but then u get one hug from a nice person even though you yelled at them, and they say everything is gonna be okay like they really believe it, and you don't have to go back and you don't have to be by yourself. there's some crying happening for sure.

one day they'll get through a whole entire day without crying. one day finn might even be almost stable as a human being and look back on the ol' crying days and shake his head. but it's not today fam. ]

[followhim]

[it's nice that finn is an active participant in the hug. it feels like he's made some progress somewhere, somehow.

where all logic would say to give up, that this isn't really finn, he can't. poe dameron is literally incapable of giving up. even when he was trying to give up he was still holding out on the dl. there's some part of finn still in there somewhere. he's as sure of it as he is of anything. under all the crying and panic attacks there is someone brave and good.

and even if there wasn't, even if there were no hidden layers and it was panic attacks all the way down, different-finn was still a person worth saving. he doesn't know how to get it across to him, because he's tried it in multiple earnest gay, dramatic ways with varying results, but he's not giving up. not going anywhere.]

It's okay. I get it. Why you had to go.

[and ... it is okay. it hurt a lot and sent him into a four-day depression spiral, but he can get it. it was what finn needed, probably. to be given the choice to go back to figure out what he actually wanted. to realize it wasn't what he actually wanted. (like when my indoor cats sneak outside and then hide under the porch crying until someone lets them back in.)]

Thanks for coming back. I was -- I worried about you.

[bb-8 takes the opportunity to beep loudly in the background like "that is a fuckin understatement you were lying in bed crying about how the patch of sunshine on the wall reminded you of finn but ok." if only finn knew binary. maybe someday.

anyway he doesn't know how to deal with the crying besides more hugging. maybe he'll cry a little, too. cryfest 2k18 turrning into a biannual event. or weekly event. or, most realistically, a daily event.]

[followhim]

[it happens. sometimes our brains betray us. it's all good fam.]

BB-8 calculated the probability.

[ 1) bb-8 isn't even in this fuckin room and 2) he is not telepathically linked to his droid. this dumbass. he just knows arbitrary numbers make you sound smarter. his brain came back online just for that. truly a miracle.]

[bythehand]

[ it's good to get the crying out, okay. if it helps, this is way less of a crying Situation than the sitting down in a space parking lot thing. this is what the kids call only about twenty percent of that raw crying power. give him a few sniffles.

there are so many threads in my finn rp career where him knowing binary would immediately let him in on the hottest gossip and yet he's never learned it in any thread or au. wtf. finn get on board. ]

-- yeah, no problem. [ i don't have words to describe his tone of voice exactly. like a weird, disbelieving, softly but with a lot of feeling 'what the fuck' gratitude level. he didn't expect a thanks he doesn't know what to do with it. frames it and puts it on the ol mental wall, probably.

he doesn't think he'll ever get used to poe. it's like dropping a rock in water. there were some considerable ripples but the water was definitely still there when they stopped. poe is still here and he might be the reason the stars come out at night?? sources still confirming on that one. ]

I'd say I was worried about you, but. [ mostly he was in the void. ] Couldn't really settle on just one thing.

[followhim]

[he shakes his head.] No, no, you don't have to worry about me. I've got everything under control.

[what a joke. he has never had less control over anything, including and not limited to that crash landing on jakku. or the crash landing on coruscant to be honest; that might have actually been worse because it took longer. this is a crash landing that takes even longer in that it never actually ends. just a rapid downward spiral of "what is my life right now even." sometimes he thinks he makes some progress up, but then he just slides back on down. now is an upswing, though. maybe he'll find purchase this time.

besides, does he even look like he has anything under control??? like, on an external level? no. look at him. a gay disaster garbage man. who was crying as recently as a few seconds ago. but he's trying. now that he has a purpose again, he can go back to 100 emoji-ing that purpose and stop panicking. (on the inside.)

he pulls away a little bit and claps finn on the shoulder. that is a normal thing to do. he is emulating normal behavior. maybe if he tries hard enough, it'll come true. fake it 'til you make it is the current big mood of his entire existence.]

I — do you want to come in? [no poe he wants to keep sitting outside the ship??? dumbass.] BB-8 and I cleaned it up a little. [bb-8. he means just bb-8. but his son won't rat him out this time ... finn wouldn't even appreciate it. his dissent keeps falling on deaf ears. seriously finn, learn binary.]

[bythehand]

If that's still your story when I wake up, maybe I'll believe it.

[ that's right. he's gonna take................ a nap. they're on dick lockdown and he's thriving on that biological "yep you're basically invulnerable rn bc you put a metaphorical ring on an alpha, good job" vibe this time around. now that there's practically zero chance of a stormtrooper busting in to shoot them in the next five minutes.

there'll never be a better time to take a nap than this time. obviously. ]

[followhim]

[i mean, taking a nap post-sex is usually poe's m.o., so if that's what's going down he's like ah yes finn has the right idea good night world. he sort of exhales a "ha" noise before moving around a little bit to get in comfortable napping position. what a time to be alive. they've learned like two things about each other, had good sex, and everything is not on fire. zzzzzz.]

poe & rey tfln cont. (don't look here)

[followhim]

[from here]

all three of us!

[now he's thinking about it. less trying to draw the diagram in his mind, more trying to envision it actually happening and what would make it a good experience for him.]

i do kind of want you between us. whether that's with double penetration or with me doing you from behind while you go down on finn, whatever. or the other way around. however you guys wanna work it.

and i wanna watch you and finn. i want to watch him doing whatever to you. so i can see what it looks like when it's not me. does that make sense?

[forcevisions]

[ alright she didn't bank on the walkthrough planning portion to be ... pretty arousing on its own. something about poe actually framing that as his own desires has it washing over her differently. it's not just logistics. it's want. ]

It does.

[ and absurdly the sense it makes leaves her feeling more like she's intruding on something that isn't hers than the entire rest of this situation. but strangely she doesn't mind? like, he's inviting her here, first of all, and she doesn't mind being the vehicle for some kind of greater intimacy between finn and poe. she kind of finds it beautiful.

like, if she were actually in a relationship, she'd never go for it because she's a grabby possessive sand gremlin who doesn't share her shit, but. it's beautiful. :') ]

That's how we should suggest it to Finn then. Tell him that you want to watch him with me and then, you know, join. We can try from both sides and if it's too much, I'll use my mouth.

[followhim]

[when you were bragging about your bae and now you're sort of low-key sexting their best friend about them???? that's a thing that's happening.]

yeah. and we still have to ask finn what he wants. maybe he'll want to watch us or something else, i dunno.

[forcevisions]

Yeah. Of course.

[ rey like i can't believe we just accidentally planned a threesome how do you follow that up ]

Let me know what he says. And if he wants anything to be different or wants something else, then we can adjust.

[followhim]

sure, yeah. definitely.

[the ... end??? bye talk to u later after i sit down with finn like "hey honey i think we should have a threesome with rey." how's that even gonna go??? on the next episode of unsolved mysteries.]

[bythehand]

[ he bets this never ends. he bets he never knows what he wants and spends twenty years cumulatively out of his life crying under the porch to get back into houses he panicked and ran out of. and then maybe another ten years not thinking at all, give or take. he bets he's never fn-2187 again like he used to be, and he bets he's never finn again like he apparently also used to be.

but he knows what he doesn't want.

he doesn't want to be alone.

he doesn't want to leave poe again. his "nice things"-odometer got a hard reset. he's not a dumb baby duck irl he's just sad and gay and tired like everyone else in this universe, and he's like, maybe i'll hang onto this thing as long as i can even if i don't know what to do with it. deserving doesn't matter.

he doesn't wanna keep sitting outside the ship forever. that was just his plan for if poe found a better way off-world while they were having their montage. ]

Yeah. Sure, yeah, that-- I'd like that. [ new mission: be Good. don't complain even if there's still rats. don't get eaten by the rats he doesn't know are dead yet. that's the whole mission.

just gonna scrub at his face a little and get up and tackle this... week? maybe someone threw away a calendar they can use someday. it's been A Time Span. and he will tackle it one thing at a time hopefully. he doesn't know. ]

[followhim]

[he peels away from finn completely, which is difficult — he did kind of want to hold on forever. just savor this moment where things felt slightly less fucked up and hopeless than they'd become. but sometimes you gotta stop holding on to bae so you can go the fuck inside. at least they aren't doing this in a hallway of a spaceship full of people this time.

but he will hold his hand to sort of pull him inside because he has been converted into this "get this what if we all hold hands all the time" way of life.

the ship is ... cleaner. some improvements have been made. it's not the nicest place to ever exist, but it doesn't look like a such a disaster zone anymore, either. and, poe will helpfully state the obvious — ]

There's not rats anymore.

[more greatest hits from poe "my foot is permanently lodged in my mouth" dameron, along with others like "do you want to come inside" and "'you're alive!' 'you too'."

but honestly like his say super obvious things because i'm Not Good at Feelings levels are through the roof right now. he is constantly moments away from knocking the finn jenga tower over and having another GOODBYE FOREVER moment. in his own mind.]

Do you want — you can pick out a room if you want. None of them really have ... they're kind of just rooms.

[wow.]

[bythehand]

I noticed.

[ finn, even without all the Good Shit like memories, is still a petty bi. he was immediately prepared for rats. he's also kind of trying out the tread carefully vibe, even if he's not 100% sure what he's trying to step around or anything. he would probably die for poe and this has gone from "nice person giving me a ride i don't deserve, get to resistance, immediately bounce" to "okay i don't want to make him upset and it's up to me to not say Even More super negative shit that keeps making him upset, i guess, since we're both adults."

and then maybe get to the resistance and immediately bounce, he's not sure. he's just trying his best on this bitch of a planet. ]

Doesn't really matter. [ he can do this. he's......... a casual man. ] I think most rooms are just rooms. So that's. Fine.

[followhim]

Okay. [ come on dameron. think of words. you used to be really good at words, once upon a time. ]

If you don't want — [ he doesn't know how to say "i don't even want to let you out of my eyesight at this point in time because i am dealing with a lot of Issues." ] You could stay with me in my room for a little while. Unless you want to be alone. There's not a lot to do around here. Besides work on the ship. If you wanna do that.

[ hopefully he doesn't because then poe would have to admit to himself that he did 0 percent of work on his vacation down into the abyss. ]

[bythehand]

[ being good at words sounds fake.

finn appreciates that poe is a disaster of different calibre but equal magnitude. even if he hasn't technically consciously 100% figured out that that's a thing that's going on. poe says stuff like "i'm scared" or "idk what i'm doing" but like. it's a whole thing.

finn open book lastname strikes again, ftr, because his whole face is pretty much like oh hey literally the last thing i want in the world right now is to be alone and he's just throwing Not Alone onto the table, how is he even still... this nice... ]

You wouldn't mind?

[ welcome to sad gay hell vol. 1 of 2. ]

[followhim]

[ one time he plagiarized a speech by amilyn holdo and everyone really liked it. ergo, he is good at words. was. whatever. ]

No! [ too enthusiastic. tone it down. ] No. [ he's never been much for lying — or very good at being anything other than direct. so he just lays his cards down on the table. says it how it is. ] I don't want to be alone. It's been lonely around here.

[ bb-8 beeps indignantly because poe wasn't alone and he cannot believe. poe glances over at him like i also cannot believe my son is trying to ruin my moment. ] Come on, BB, you know what I mean. I don't do well with quiet. Or alone.

[ on that note, he's just gonna ... wander towards his room. by taking a few steps i guess. it's not exactly a mansion over here. new and exciting things to note are that while one panel of the door is still stuck in closed position, bb-8 cut out the lower half of it and basically made himself a doggy door. he really brought his a-game to this episode of extreme home makeover. ]

oh look, it's poe's favorite force user here to wreck his life some more

[umbraeternam]

[ No one thought Kylo had the capacity for patience, but it's just one of many things people were misjudging about her. It was expected, given certain... tantrums in the past. But one didn't survive the trials she had or possess the sorts of goals she had without being able to be patient. If one could simply snap their fingers and bring the galaxy to heel then her grandfather would have done so all those decades earlier.

It's patience -- to a degree -- that's kept her from snuffing out General Hux's obnoxious flame and put up with the attempts at undermining her new authority. Unfortunately, he's too useful to kill. She needs him to keep the First Order on track. However, she only has so much tolerance for the snide attitude and the implied digs at her ability to achieve any sort of victory. When he makes a backhanded comment during a strategy meeting about emotion blinding her to Skywalker's distraction on Crait, she's had enough.

Victory, hmm? She would show him victory. While the General was busy soaking in imagined self-importance, she would address one of the First Order's largest missteps.

Patience (and spite) lead her over several weeks to a trading post in the Outer Rim. It's off the beaten path, not somewhere the First Order had in its sights. She knows that's why her quarry sought out the location. An ambush is set up using locals who are easily paid for; they're purely a distraction for any other Resistance members traveling with the pilot.

When the fight erupts at the supply pick-up and everyone's favorite hero eventually makes a run for their ship, Kylo's waiting outside, blocking the path. There's no helmet this time to hide dark eyes that focus on Poe as soon as he's in her sights, or the ghost of a smirk that twitches one corner of her mouth upward before she speaks. ]

Going somewhere?

[bythehand]

[ i love this concept of poe in his depressive stupor while bb-8 is cutting through a door panel in order to join and support him. finn kinda wonders about that door situation for a sec. until bb-8 rolls through it and everything makes more sense. some instinct he can't name says yeah that tracks, i should have expected that. ]

Neither do I.

[ see, he can also say an honest thing that's not an argument. ]

I'm too used to barracks.

[ how do u sleep alone and without the sound of at least one other person snoring or rolling over or whatever. can't relate, it makes everything awful. ]

[followhim]

[ that is literally what happened. complete with poe putting a pillow over his face because bb-8's desire to be there for him was too loud. but it's fine, now there's a hole in the door and nothing left standing in bb-8's way. ]

Me too, I guess.

[ not in the same way ... he actually did have his own room at some point in his life. for many many years. but the new republic had barracks and resistance bases aren't exactly five-star hotel accommodations. he's used to the ambient noise.

back in right now, he takes a seat on the edge of his bed. the shitty blanket is sort of crumpled up in a corner of the bed, there are some wrappers on the floor. he wasn't expecting company to his depressive episode, don't @ him.

the seating options are a: also on the bed or b: a desk chair at the desk that is currently being used as a table for depression snacks. he doesn't want to be like "hey sit on the bed with me", so he just sort of sits there like an awkward middle schooler. ]

Um ... you know, wherever.

[bythehand]

[ personal space is for losers, he's here to be an otter. finn sits right next to poe like it's legitimately his job to be sitting next to him.

sometimes it kind of feels like that. ]

Probably a good thing the rats are gone. You know. All things considered.

[ he nods towards bb-8's droid door. it seems like the thing to say. while his brain is working overtime on its usual "now what do i do as a human person" bullshit. ]

[followhim]

[oh good. no space is literally the perfect amount of space right now. his hand wanders over to finn's. for the umpteenth time.]

Yeah. It was BB-8. He's ... he's more than just an astromech droid. He does a lot.

[bb-8 takes that cue to roll up to finn and open one of his lil storage compartments to reveal the ring and chain that finn tried to shove back at poe and that poe let fall on the floor while he was busy having his heart being broken. bb-8 took care of it.

poe was right, he's more than just an astromech droid. bb-8 is the glue that holds the galaxy together and if you disagree, you're wrong.]

[bythehand]

[ if you hold hands like otters, neither of you can get thrown into the void. that's probably a kind of scientific fact. maybe he used to be a scientist.

things that finn forgot about while he spent that couple of days dissociating and trying to pretend he didn't exist in real life: the ring thing. oh boy, that really happened. holy shit. that feels like it was a year ago. thankfully the droid at the center of everything good in the galaxy, who is also a rat-catcher, saved it.

well saved it from sitting on the floor for a long-ass time, but like, that's still saving it. bb-8 does more than either of them. he's the hero of this story.

i can't wait for episode ix where he reveals that he had the jacket all along.

finn cautiously adds it to his "one item in one hand" inventory. if only bc bb-8 seems pretty expectant about this particular power move he's dropping. and then he hesitates. and then he kinda holds it out in poe's direction because he did at some dramatic point give it back and he doesn't know the promise ring protocol during times like these. ]

I don't know if-- [ ??????

Do You Want This Back he guesses, he's trying to be on his best not overdramatic behavior. ]

[followhim]

[ this is actually the story of how bb-8 is both the twin girls in the parent trap trying to get his parents back together. fact. maybe he still has the jacket and is saving it for just the right time. bb-8 contains multitudes.

poe stares down at bb-8 like wtf?? he forgot it too somehow? he thought it was still on the floor just like all his hopes and dreams. at the very least, he was not in on this plan. so he responds by frowning slightly, and gently pushing finn's outstretched hand away with his own. ]

No, I gave it to you. [and then he felt kind of weird and naked without the last remaining piece of his mom, but then he had multiple days to think about other things instead, shoving it down to the least of his worries. that said, he can't even imagine taking it back now. it was a good idea, it felt right, and shara bey would be proud of him probably. she is still in force ghost heaven giving him a thumbs up.] I can't take it back. I want you to have it.