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WISH LIST

★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus

★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions

★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him

★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia

★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships

kinks if ya nasty

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He deserves it.

[ Undoubtedly. But … ]

What do you think he'll do to retaliate? I mean, he'd have to assume it's you, right? With the way you two have been …

I don't know. Like, I can think of all sorts of stuff he could do, but he's so unpredictable. You never know what's gonna set him off. Maybe he'd try to brick my computer, maybe he'd slash my tires, maybe he'd try to have a fistfight with me on the quad. Maybe he'd find more stuff to pin on me if this turns into a disciplinary hearing. Your guess is as good as mine.

Maybe we should really be looking for a way to end the fight instead of win it.

[ She pulls her hands off the laptop keyboard. ]

I don't want him to retaliate.

[ poe wants to be like "well i don't know if you know this but ren would retaliate against clouds in the sky for blocking out the sun so this feels like a lost cause." because that is the tea. but the skepticism on his face probably spells out enough of that. ]

Do you have any ideas for that? Because if I had any ideas for that, I would've done them by now.

You said it had something to do with the Dean, right?

[ She goes back to the laptop and takes a few minutes to get herself logged into his account. She's surprisingly speedy at that. The desktop, as it turns out, is some kind of abstract art. Too abstract to be called impressionism, though it appears to insinuate a landscape in the same way — a dark landscape, though. Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here landscape.

She opens up a Spotlight search and plugs in the Dean's name to start scrolling through files that mention her. His employment contracts, obviously, are in there. Not much else. ]

How long has it been since they had their falling out? What was it about? [ She sounds too invested. She is too invested. ] I'm just saying, if he's blaming you for his bad relationship with his mother, then figuring out what went wrong there … It might help.

[ he raises his eyebrows, trying to communicate "wow, that's not our business tho." but he also looks a little uneasy like maybe he would rather protect dean organa ... from her own shitbag son. not like he's possessive of her. or anything, rey you baka.

you can feel the mommy issues in this chili's tonight. ]

I told you most of what I know already. I don't know if there was ever a specific falling out. I think he kind of resented her for shipping him off to boarding school and like putting her work first, you know? But it's not like he tried to mend things with her after. After he graduated he went to live with his uncle. That went bad. But it's not like — he's never tried to ask her for help out or tried to come back home or anything like that. Like it's easier for him to just be bitter or something.

[ he kind of pauses and lets that hang in the air like is that enough?? was that too much? should i keep talking? whatever, might as well. ]

And then there's me. I went to a different school for undergrad. And I got into some trouble. It's — that's a long story. But there was gonna be a disciplinary hearing, I might've even gotten expelled. But she made sure I could transfer here and finish out senior year. Like, stuff like that. She always wants to help me. And maybe he's jealous of that? But he never wants help in the first place.

[ So her grown-ass thirty-year-old professor is an infant. And any hope she has of mediating this weird conflict between him and Poe, which she's now feeling obligated to because of the way Poe helped her out, rests squarely on the shoulders of digging at why he's such an infant. She gives up on her "Leia Organa" search and swaps to "Mom." Nothing. "Mother." Nothing.

"Uncle"? Nothing.

She opens a Chrome window and scrolls through his email. Boring boring boring. His officemate Armitage Hux is in here plenty. Some woman named Phasma. Who the hell names their kid Phasma? She doesn't think on it too long. ]

Alright. I'll do it. [ She pulls open the Terminal. ] If that's what you really want, I'll do it.

[ Brick the laptop, that is. It's not hard. She'll barely break a sweat doing it. But she looks up at him, eyes wide and soft. She didn't like using her skills to help Plutt do bad-wrong things. She isn't going to like doing it for Poe, but at least Poe had earned it. Not demanded it. ]

[ he paces a very small perimeter in the spot where he's standing, tense. this feels like a bad idea. wrong. shouldn't he be a better person than this?

shouldn't kylo ren be a better person in the first place so he wouldn't have to retaliate this way???

but ... man. he also doesn't like the way rey is giving him the sad eyes. why can't be just be a sociopath and go for it? why does he have a moral code?

wait, what's that? what does he hear? a whisper on the wind, whispering

YEET.]

Yeah. Do it.

[ She finds that she's disappointed in his reply, but she doesn't let that stop her. ]

It'll take a few minutes.

[ And she sets to typing on the laptop with some considerable purpose, engrossed in the task enough to not pursue further conversation. ]

[ it's okay, you know who else is going to be disappointed in him? leia. his adviser (it's holdo). literally everyone in his life. but when has he ever stopped to think about the consequences of his actions? i mean, he sort of tried for a second there. but then gave up. ]

What, no, do you think we shouldn't? I told you everything I know. What else do you think we should do?

[ it's not like pleading asking, more like PROVE ME WRONG asking. ]

I think it makes sense that you're angry with him for what he's done to you.

[ Starting with validation. Yeah. ]

But if you want my honest opinion, this … This is stooping to his level, Poe.

[ he bites at the inside of his cheek, sort of nods to himself, then says: ]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. [ he already knew it. ] Stop. Don't do it. ... Unless you already did.

I only started.

[ She smiles, turning the laptop towards him. Still operational. She closes out of the terminal then, grateful that Poe had made the right choice. Relieved, even. She hadn't been trying to test him, exactly. It was just the way the world worked — everything was a little bit of a test. ]

How about I loosen a bolt or two in his chair and we call it a night?

That sounds good.

[ phew. all that moralistic decision making sure was rough. he moves to hang back while rey does that, since she ... volunteered. and apparently has a tool kit in her lil drawstring bag. ]

[ WOW every respectable thief needs a good drawstring bag of goodies. Hers does NOT have a tool kit, but it does have a pair of pinchnose pliers. Not ideal, but they'll do the job with some elbow grease. She lays out underneath the chair and gets working.

This is a good time to point out that it sounds like someone is actually opening the RFID lock for the office pod by legitimate means. There's a single male voice chatting. ]

[ since they're not talking, poe is just kind of hangin' out. looking. listening. when he hears what sounds like someone coming, his eyes go wide like that one prairie dog. ]

Forget it. [ his voice goes down to a hiss-whisper. ] Someone's coming.

[ well fuck. he glances around for options. they can't leave. maybe ... can they both fit under the desk? and hope that it's not actually ren coming to his fuckin office at one in the morning? then again, there's talking. presuming that it's not ren having a psychotic break (seems possible), they are about to have more than one problem to deal with. ]

[ Rey's eyes go wide and she sits up, bonking her head on the chair. She curses and scoots under the table instinctively, pulling Poe with. Not thinking about whether it's Ren and he's going to sit down right now. Not thinking about the fact that the laptop is still open and on. Or the light. Christ, this is a mess.

They're barely under the table when the door opens.

'Yeah,' says a male voice that neither of them recognize. 'It's unlocked. It looks like he's been here working. He might still be in the building somewhere.'

Wait. Correction. Poe might recognize Armitage Hux. ]

[ poe did think of all those things. he even thought of the laptop, and reached to slam it shut before being pulled down. but, you know. it's fine that he didn't, considering the timing. it would look like a ghost closed it. or something.

and yes. he knows exactly who it is. that fuckin dick. u know what, this may be the only time in the history of life that poe is actually happy to see (well, hear) armitage hux. if it's hux (and ... unidentified second party? probably phasma), then at least they won't spend a lot of time snooping around the office. maybe if they just stay very still, the velociraptors (or cats) won't sense their movement and then they can yeet out of here. ]

[ It becomes rapidly apparent that there is no second party when Hux pauses, the conversation doesn't continue, and then he replies to someone he can't hear. Ok. Not schizophrenic. Just on the phone. Rey's breathing hard, clutching to Poe for dear life like somebody who's about to get fucking expelled.

'He should have considered that possibility before he acted like a cunt. If he thinks he can steal this from me, then he's as much a fool as his mother.'

Rey points to the copy of the test they'd acquired, which is dropped on the floor nearby. She reaches out to slowly drag it towards them. They still need to take pictures of it. This plan is half-finished. She'd planned to have more time. ]

[ he's—? oh. that's great. this is some thing between hux and ren. is it unbelievable that someone else would have a chip on their shoulder about goth tree man? not at all. is it inconvenient at this point in time? very yes. for fuck's sake. why couldn't they be the only one trying to commit fuckery in the middle of the night.

poe lets her carry on with her reaching and dragging, listening to see if hux is going to go in the office or keep walking. while doing that, he puts his hand against rey's unoccupied arm, trying to wordlessly say "if he comes in stay the fuck down here and i'll take care of it." still gonna sacrifice himself for her. a true selfless yeet. ]

[ Rey meets his gaze and rapidly shakes her head like nO YOU DUMB BITCH this is not what we agreed to when it comes to you taking the fall. This is wild. Unacceptable. She pulls out her phone and double checks that it's on vibrate before she starts snapping pictures of the front page of the test. No camera sound today, satan. ]

[ poe shakes his head back. it's time for a silent NO U argument!! he's not really worried for himself, though. he can get pinned with "what's up i'm an asshole dickin around in the office of my rival" and survive. a baby underclassman cheating is something else entirely. his name's been through a lot, he can take it, etc.

he is also considering the enemy of my enemy is my friend angle. it seems like a real risky gamble with hux (because he's the worst), but it's better than nothing. at least there are options.

but you know what, fine. let her take pictures of the test so they can be one step closer to being free of this hell. ]

[ Turning the page is gonna be loud. She waits until Hux is talking again.

'Tenure would make him impossible to chase out. He's intolerable enough as an adjunct.'

Her hands are shaking while she's taking these pictures with her phone. She can hear the laptop on the desk rotate.

'Naturally. I'm sure the email's in here somewhere. Just give me a moment.' ]

[oh shit. he's getting real close. but if he's turning the laptop ... he won't sit down, will he? he won't look under the desk?

no, you know what? can't take that chance. a plan b — plan c? he's got a few plans on the burner here. in any case, a new plan springs to his mind. he saw it work in romcoms. it might just be dumb enough to work now.

he puts one hand over her phone hand like "please stop that now" and another hand against her cheek like an indicator to what's about to happen. and then he just

leans in slow

for

the kiss

🙃

what's up ur making out with poe dameron, don't forget to report your findings to finn. ]

[ THIS IS NOT WHERE SHE SAW THIS NIGHT GOING. She is officially the worst wingman ever /? ? Possibly the second worst. Rey's eyes go wide as she lets her phone thud to the ground. She makes a surprised noise, too, so now there's no way they're not being caught. Which is bad because the test is still on the floor.

Anyway, Rey is a Romance Connoisseur in this AU, if you forgot, so she is highly trope savvy here. She just flips that test shut and pulls Poe down with her so she can lay down on it. Yep. This is now some horizontal making out so that she's laying on top of the evidence of their bad life choices.

Hux comes around the desk around that time like —

'Mr. Dameron,' he says icily. 'Perhaps you could wait until you have earned your own office to entertain freshmen in it.'

Rey lets out a yelp like she's SO SURPRISED and then— ] Professor Hux? What are you doing here?

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