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WISH LIST
★ my dark au kink:
+ being captured by the first order and subjected to reconditioning
+ trying to turn him back with the power of gay love and friendship (and possibly failing)
+ he was always a first order tie fighter pilot instead of winter soldiered
+ poe and finn first order murder squad (dynamics if they were both stormtroopers? running away together?)
+ ^ part b: the fam that gets captured and reconditioned together… stays…together…
+ Interesting Dynamics with kylo and hux from dark aus
★ finn stuff
+ what will they do after the war? romantic vacations? homesteading? sending finn's spit to space 23andme?
+ infinite escape reimagining/aus, stormpilot escape room reigning champions
★ rey stuff
+ relationship of convenience because they're both In Denial
+ sith princess rey aus where he tries to save her and/or she turns him
★ kylo stuff
+ infinite interrogating/torture room reimagining/aus
+ ^ part b: stockholm syndrome?
+ We Need to Talk about Leia
★ general
+ honestly anything regarding leia (esp processing grief post-tros)
+ talking about his sketchy spice runner past (possibly playing things taking place during that time in his life?)
+ ^ same for things taking place during academy/new republic tbh
+ i love aus. modern aus, vampire aus, a/b/o aus, let's au the entire world
+ i prefer m/m for poe but am good with most ships
kinks if ya nasty
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But, alas, there is business to be done.
The fingers of one hand curl slightly, simultaneously drawing her power snug around Poe's throat. Not enough to choke but the pressure would be uncomfortable. Her gaze focuses on him and her power brushes at his mind with a whisper.
Behave and look suitably beaten down, or I'll be forced to make you.
An additional light flicks on and when the signal is given, Hux is all too happy to launch into a well-rehearsed speech. Kylo wasn't much for speeches personally, so she's content let Hux stroke his ego while she exists as the threatening dark presence in the background. The propaganda video is as much to shove in the Resistance's face that arguably their most important asset is in the hands of the enemy, as it is to spread the news of Kylo's place as Supreme Leader.
And while the General drones on, her attention is mostly on Poe, her power occasionally constricting a little against his throat, absently feeling the pulse of his heartbeat against the invisible leash around his neck. ]
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because he's … well, himself, it's very tempting to ignore her words and misbehave anyway. but he couldn't do it. sure, being punished while being broadcasted could show the resistance the dire situation he's in … but that's not what they need. they know that. they know that it's dire.
what they need, as always, is hope. even if it's just hope that he'll be okay. that maybe he could find a way out of this one, because he already had once and who's to say that he couldn't again?
so he stays quiet. keeps his head down. (literally keeps his head down.) hux's speech goes on and on in the background, nothing but white noise. the only real sensation is the invisible leash around his neck, worse than his actual physical restraints. at least they're real and solid. he can anticipate the sensation he's going to have if he tries to move. in comparison, kylo men's force grip is like a blaster pressed against his head, liable to go off at any moment. ]
i don't know why i didn't think to upload masked icons earlier for this part -.-
Kylo knew the truth of it all too well.
With Poe behaving, there's no need for her to tighten the leash any more than it is. That's the give and take she hopes he's beginning to understand. If he doesn't give her a reason to hurt him with her abilities, then he could save himself unnecessary pain. If he behaves, then she doesn't have to work her power inside his head and make him behave in spite of himself, causing himself more trauma and pain in the process.
She rouses from her contemplation when Hux becomes animated in his speech and she rolls her eyes behind the mask. Although shortly her eyes are narrowing from the General grabbing Poe by the hair as he loudly gloats to the camera about the pilot's capture. Kylo tenses, just slightly, and she loosens her power around Poe's neck so it, combined with Hux's actions, doesn't cause him to choke.
Her eyes are on Hux, watching carefully. One idea the General had posed, naturally, was to kill or maim the pilot on camera in hopes of thoroughly demoralizing the Resistance. Kylo had shut the idea down quite firmly, but she was weary about him trying to go off-script.
When Hux finally releases Poe with a hard shove she relaxes somewhat, though she shifts her gaze over to the officer working the camera and projects the thought for them to wrap it up. ]
nooooo
and then. and then. and then hux grabs him, and it jars him out of that focus he was trying so hard to maintain. that was a mistake, on hux's part. he forgets himself and what he was trying to accomplish by being still and silent. (avoiding being force choked. that was it.)
of course, he's restrained, so there's not much he can do in retaliation. but he thrashes in an attempt to jab hux with an elbow before he's shoved back down, breath heavy and heart racing with the sudden spike of adrenaline.
above all else, it made him angry, feeling so much like a cornered animal. but if that was how they were going to play it, well. he wouldn't be a well-behaved animal, that was for sure. anything he could get away with, he was going to do. ]
yesssss
As soon as the camera clicks off Kylo lifts a hand and with a flick of her wrist throws Hux into the nearest wall. ]
When a plan is made you stick to the plan, General.
"Supreme Leader..." [ Hux sputters as he gets to his feet, glaring back at Kylo. If it wasn't obvious before that there was dissent between Leader and General, it certainly was obvious now. ] "We should have killed him. It would break their spirits."
It would galvanize their resolve. [ Kylo fires back. ] Only a fool gives the enemy a martyr to hang their faith and hope upon.
[ Hux fumes, hands curling to fists at his side, and he strides forward. ] "So what, no one can strike your little Resistance pet?"
[ The General only makes it halfway back to where he'd been standing before he's lifted from his feet, gasping as his hands scrabble at the power gripping his neck. Kylo hasn't moved, only raised her arm and outstretched her hand to guide the Force to do her bidding. ]
If you wanted him dead so badly, General, then you should have captured him yourself. Now, I have had about enough of your insubordination and backtalk. You have a job to do and I expect you to do it. If you cannot, I am sure one of our other generals would be happy to take your place. [ As she talks Hux only struggles more, desperately trying to draw air. When he seems on the verge of passing out Kylo finally releases her hold, letting him unceremoniously drop to the ground. ] Do we have an understanding, General, or should I relieve you of your duty?
"It... it will be as you wish... forgive me, Supreme Leader."
[ Satisfied with that for the time being, Kylo relaxes back against the throne and looks to one of her Knights, who had stepped forward at the ready as soon as Hux had begun his protest. ] See that the prisoner is returned to his holding cell and food brought to him. [ She glances back toward Hux but he's too busy rubbing his throat and striding from the room to offer further commentary. ]
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he knew that kylo was right — killing him would only have made him a martyr. this was the smarter choice. it felt weird to be in agreement, but it also felt like ... like ...
like kylo ren was protecting him? why? it was wrong. the world was inside out and upside down. there had to be a reason. a non-altruistic reason, because he refused to believe altruism was the driving force here for one second. either she was saving him to torture herself at her own leisure, or ... maybe it was because of leia? because he and leia were close, and maybe she felt like —
no. that couldn't be it. could it? clearly it was the torture thing. but even that felt off-kilter. he was being sent back to his cell without reprimand. instead of reprimand, he actually got food.
was he a pet? was she just keeping him around like some kind of trophy?
there were no clear answers to the motivation, just possibilities for him to spend more time mulling over in solitude. ]
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Eventually on one of those shift changes the Knight comes to the cell door with a set of restraints. Time for a little stroll.
The room Poe will be brought to has a wall of windows, which presently overlook the ongoing repairs to the Supremacy. Kylo stands before one of the windows, clad in black as usual but without the cloak or helmet. Looking out at the work, she doesn't turn or otherwise acknowledge that she's no longer alone in the room. The Knight, once bringing Poe into the room, will turn and leave silently, taking up a post by the door out in the corridor. ]
It's a bit overkill, isn't it? The largest ship ever constructed. Truly, Snoke's ego would accept nothing less. [ Her lip curls as she speaks her former master's name. ] That ego was his undoing. And now all that was once his belongs to me.
[ Along with one thing that had never been in the foul creature's grasp.
She turns slightly, finally looking back at Poe. ]
You performed well the other day, even with Hux's... interference. He would gleefully flay you alive, I think, if given half a chance. [ Not that she credited the man with that much creativity, but it was said more to drive home the point of just how much hatred Hux had for the pilot. Words of caution, almost. She returns her gaze to the window. ] The holo that was recorded seems to be doing quite well itself. Several new worlds have sought the First Order's allegiance. In time all will see the value in being united.
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compared to overthinking all of that punctuated with trying to sleep and waking up from nightmares, getting to get up and go for a walk was exhilarating. for a second, poe is almost — well, not happy, but he feels some sort of positive emotion towards seeing kylo ren just because she's a face that exists.
that is, until she starts talking. the balance of the universe is restored. he already knew hux's feelings about him, however. that's old hat. ]
I don't know why you're telling me that like it's good news.
[ it's news, he guesses. just not the news he wanted. ]
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Turning around fully, Kylo leans back against the glass, lightly crossing her arms and one ankle crossing over the other. She regards the state he's in, for the moment putting aside the urge to take a thorough read of his surface thoughts. ]
I know the kind of good news you desire. I can even give you some. There have been no tips as to where the Resistance has gone. That won't remain the case for long, but at least for now they would seem to be safe.
[ It irritates her, just a little, to share that with him. So she shifts the topic. ]
What do you think of the ship? A bit too big for you to fly, I'm afraid. But you'll be getting to see it up close and personal soon.
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he directs his attention from her to the supremacy on display through the window, jaw set. it's impressive and he knows it. before anything else, he's a pilot. he could appreciate how smooth the tie fighter flew, how responsive it was, even though it was enemy property. that part of him was curious about the supremacy's specs.
the rest of him, though. the rest of him didn't want to give kylo ren the satisfaction of even vague passing interest. ]
I can fly anything. But you're right, it's outside my usual wheelhouse.
[ there's something else on the tip of his tongue, and it comes out before he can stop himself. ]
Glad we could put a dent in it for you.
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You know what, I may just take you to the bridge and let you have a look at things, just to see how much of a fit Hux would throw. Not now though. You're yet too... [ Kylo hums a thoughtful noise, making an idle gesture (that for once is simply a gesture) at him. ] ...rebellious. Untrained.
[ If he thought that little remark was going to bother her, he would be disappointed. She merely shrugs a shoulder, casting a glance back over at the ship. ]
Oh, it's an annoyance to be sure. But you should be glad. Needing to repair the flagship has kept most resources and focus here, and not out scouring the galaxy for the Resistance. The delays here will benefit your friends, and Leia.
[ Kylo's gaze returns to Poe, her body language still calm and relaxed. Now that she's had a little time to sit with the knowledge her mother is alive she's been able to settle her emotions to an extent, at least in relation to those that were so on display in the interrogation room. She was able to put aside and put away grief, and the sorrow that had accompanied it. In a way, the news has improved her overall temperament, not that Poe currently had much point of reference when it came to her moods. ] I can see why she would be fond of you. There's some elements of Han in you. You've more loyalty though, that's for certain. And you know how to follow orders, you just don't always choose to. That's a far cry better than only caring about yourself. [ Something her father was obnoxiously good at in her opinion. ]
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1. he wants to see the bridge. he's mad at himself for wanting to see the bridge, but he still wants to see it. aggravating hux would be a bonus.
2. "yet too rebellious." yet. untrained. he didn't like the implication that allowed. that she was going to train him into obeying her. break him down somehow. he already knew that she could, if she wanted to. she could right now. but apparently she'd rather make some kind of game out of it.
3. maybe she's right. maybe he should be glad. at least holdo's sacrifice wasn't for nothing. she bought them time before, and was continuing to do so now.
4. normally, under different circumstances, he'd be pleased with the comparison to han solo. he grew up on stories of how brave han was, all the things he did with his father. sure, spending more time with leia had knocked him askew on the pedestal, but not completely off. however, that comparison coming out of kylo ren's mouth … it twisted it somehow. like most of the "compliments" she paid him.
how does he respond to any of that? his expression stays the same, the same stony outer shell barely containing all the anger underneath. don't focus on han solo (whom she killed). don't focus on the resistance (killing in progress). keep the scope narrow. ]
Sounds like you got me pegged. Since you know me so well, you oughta know you're never gonna be able to train me to do anything for you.
[ not without him dramatically fighting tooth and nail the entire time. ]
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[ It's a warm promise, said casually and without malice. What need had she for that emotion anymore when it came to him? Malice was best reserved for those she intended to destroy and send to their death. She has far grander plans in mind for Poe.
Kylo closes her eyes a moment as she senses the anger leaking from him, only a drip compared to what he truly feels, she's sure. From others he could better hide it but her training had been bathed in pain and anger and agony and fear. It remains, admittedly, one of the emotions she's most prone to. Just because she could control it better didn't mean she felt it any less.
And, as some liked to say, anger was an easy path to the dark side.
Her eyes open to rest squarely on Poe and she lifts a hand from her arm to crook one finger in a beckoning motion, sending out a small bit of her power through the Force to do her bidding. That power will lightly pull at him, seeking to draw him toward her. ]
You like to hide what you're truly feeling, don't you? Always keeping that armor up as long as you can. I understand. I also understand how exhausting it is. Eventually we all must lay down our armor to rest, even people like you and I. [ It certainly will be curious, to see how he is when he isn't so determined to fight her and hide things from her. Truthfully she yet debated how much would be necessary to change, what she wanted to keep and what would only get in the way. ]
Would you like to know why you're here, Poe? Why you're not already dead or in the midst of some other terrible and painful fate?
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and he hadn't thought of it that way. he considered himself reasonably forthright with his thoughts and feelings. but ... that wasn't completely true after all, was it? there was a lot he shoved down, knowing it would be inappropriate for a leader to express. a lot he would rather deal with on his own, for that same purpose. but he wasn't a leader now, was he? wasn't anything.
no. he can still do it. guards up. defenses up, any fear or uncertainty shoved aside. ]
It'd be nice to know, yeah.
wherein kylo monologues bc apparently that's what i write at work -.-
I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in the information you carry in that pretty head of yours, but that's merely a perk. I didn't spend weeks tracking you down to find the Resistance.
[ Does that surprise him? To know the value she places is on him alone and not his proximity to the heart of the Resistance? From her glimpses inside his mind Kylo can't help but think he views himself a little too much as merely an extension of the Resistance. Thinking like that is for minions; simple soldiers and troopers. She doesn't know when he became her pet project, but perhaps it was an eventuality. Kylo offered Rey the world -- literally -- and was turned down. Practically had it spit in her face, really, with the scavenger making off with her family lightsaber. Again. She couldn't make Rey do what she wanted... but Poe was an entirely different story. ]
As I told you before, the First Order's interests are not my own. Snoke wanted to bring the galaxy to heel, destroying and obliterating at will, and he created the First Order to suit that intent. I'm more interested in uniting the galaxy under a single banner, in building upon what my grandfather and the Empire started. But as you know, a leader can't do it all themselves. The First Order is an extremely useful tool but with Hux at the helm I can only place so much trust in them. Unfortunately, he is yet too useful to kill.
That is where my Knights come in. I'm sure you've been curious as to their presence. Snoke created the Knights of Ren before I walked among them, before I came to lead them, but they are loyal to me and me alone.
Just as you will be.
[ She lets that hang in the air a moment, watching Poe as she pushes away from the glass and steps into the space between them. One of her gloved hands comes up to touch his face and it's almost affectionate. ] You will be my best Knight, I can see it in you. Even though you cannot wield the Force like most of them there is a strength and power within you. Your full potential just waiting to be unlocked. All you need is the right guiding hand. [ Which, naturally, was hers. ]
it's all good i love it
(all of this was really starting to sour his positive opinion of the force.)
her touch is all false sweetness. he doesn't want it. it's his reflex to jerk his head away. ]
You're not guiding me anywhere. I'm not gonna serve you. I'm not.
[ again, he knows it's not true, but he's not going to be like "ah yes, i accept you using the force to make me do whatever you want me to do." at least he still has the ability to protest. he'd rather die, but he's sure kylo already knows that by now.
it's at that point when he realizes he still has one weapon at his disposal — the ability to strike a nerve. ]
It's — this is because of Rey, isn't it?
[ she hadn't sat down the entire resistance and told them every last detail of her adventure on the supremacy (or about the force bond, even), but he knew enough. had enough of a vague idea to turn that vague idea into a weapon. ]
She wouldn't — she wanted you to turn and you wouldn't, and now you're doing this as some kind of thing to get back at her. Don't put me in the middle of your issues.
i'm almost afraid for him. she won't kill him but that's almost more reason to worry lol
When he jerks away the temptation is strong to make him look at her, to catch his jaw or wind her fingers in his hair, but she drops her hand instead. There would be plenty of time for that later. ]
Denying the truth will not change it. Trust, I have been in a similar place before. You will learn as I did. Although likely with less pain.
[ As he brings up Rey her eyes narrow just slightly. Yes, the girl remains a bit of a sore spot for Kylo, but that doesn't mean it would change anything.
It also doesn't change her opinion of how he views himself. Again connecting his value solely to others. She can't place why it bothers her but it does. (It's probably a Brianna thing. She's taken to writing off such 'quirks' as belonging to the other part of her.) ]
Why would this have anything to do with her? If I wanted to strike at her I could do so directly. She's proven that she's not worth my effort.
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and he didn't want it to be his fault if the resistance failed. not after coming so close to driving it into the ground before. ]
I don't know why you do anything. But I think I got it. You can't. If you tried to go after her, she could fight back. Use the Force. So you go after someone else who's not like either of you. Like you're trying to say something.
[ he knows he's walking on thin ice here, but that never stopped him from doing or saying stupid things before... ]
*cues up tense music*
Did she tell you? About the choice she turned down, and the choice that she made on the island? [ Kylo had never been able to tell precisely where Rey (and by proxy, Luke) was, but she had seen and sensed enough near the end to gather that much. Hearing Snoke say it when he ripped the location out of Rey's mind had only confirmed Kylo's suspicion. ]
No, I doubt it. The Resistance views her as a hero, she wouldn't tell you all the truth. No more than how you bury your truth beneath attitude and bravado as if it can make what you really feel go away.
[ Kylo closes the distance that he created when he recoiled, not touching him but right in his face, staring down at him slightly. ]
The Dark promised her the answers to the questions she sought, and she heeded its call. In her naivete she didn't even hesitate. She may appear to fight for the Light now but the Dark will be within her forever. She can't run away from it any more than she could run away from the truth about her parents. Nor any more than you can avoid the truth of the path now before you.
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[ !! he has an idea. a seriously stupid idea. what if ... he turned kylo ren? sure, he believed she was heartless, was nowhere close to forgiving her from all the (mostly mental) torture he'd endured ...
but there was leia. the way he saw her cry about leia. she had to have stalled for the resistance. there was no way they could have evacuated in time otherwise. these are desperate times; he's open to the idea of being wrong about her.
(because if he was wrong about her, he wouldn't have to be brainwashed.) ]
Maybe you're not as dark as you think you are.
[ will this help his situation or make it even worse? a true mystery. ]
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[ It's hard to believe she's only talking about Rey with the subtle shift in her tone and the hint of pain in her eyes, not that either are conscious on her part.
Kylo sighs heavily when he brings up her mother, rolling her eyes. ]
It was on purpose, yes. I never wanted Leia to die. I... I would not see harm come to her if it can be avoided.
[ Don't ask her how she's going to manage that while still allowing the First Order to hunt down the Resistance because she doesn't have an answer to that yet.
She reaches for him again but this time she lightly takes his jaw in her hand so he can't turn away, locking her eyes on his. ]
I am what I need to be. The light would never have survived the things I've endured. You think you know the dark because I've been inside your head a few times... You don't know. You have no idea what it's like to have that presence clawing at you from before you can even recognize what it is. To feel like you're being torn apart, like your soul isn't even your own. Just a vessel for power. A tool in the eyes of others. [ Unintentionally her grip tightens as she speaks, but once she realizes it she lets go, taking a breath and a small step back. ] I don't know why I bother... you don't care. Your mind has been made up. All you see is a monster, like Rey.
And if that is how it's meant to be than I will be the monster, and you... you will be what I need you to be.
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while he's working on this, everything about his is forgotten. i.e., how his jaw actually hurts a little from being gripped too hard. ]
You don't have to be! Prove me wrong. Prove Rey wrong. You — what do you think you're doing now? You think you're not hurting Leia right now? She wants you to come home.
[ AS ANNOYING AS IT WAS to have to admit that much, he knows it's true. he would do anything for leia, including and not limited to bringing kylo ren back to her. he only found out kylo ren was brianna essentially just now, but … if that was really the source of so much of her sadness, he wanted to try to fix it. maybe he could fix it.
(also, again: maybe he didn't have to get brainwashed.) ]
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[ The continued mentioning of her mother makes Kylo grit her teeth, feeling hurt wanting to well up inside her. All those emotions from the past that were supposed to be long buried or erased, supposed to be burned away by the darkness and 'training'. It doesn't help that her father had said something similar. Come home. They all made it sound like such a simple thing. Like there wasn't a galaxy primed and slowly in the process of regarding her the way they regarded Vader. ]
She wants Brianna to come home. She doesn't want -- [ Kylo makes a gesture at herself. ] -- this. What she wants is the girl that she herself sent away to her brother's care, because Skywalker could do no wrong. Well that girl doesn't exist anymore, and her brother is partly to blame.
[ Turning away, Kylo walks back to the window, crossing her arms over her chest as she works to reign back in her emotions. No, her mother didn't want her back. She wanted the idea of her daughter back, the child powerful in the Force from birth but desperate for guidance, for attention and affection that never came from busy parents. Swallowing, Kylo stares at the glass and her reflection. There was no way her mother wanted reality, or the truth. She certainly didn't think Leia wanted to hear how her precious hero brother had tried to kill her daughter out of fear. Especially not now that Luke was gone, destined to be remembered as a hero for giving the Resistance time to escape. The bastard had preyed upon Kylo's weakness, a weakness he gave her all those years ago when he caused her to fear her own family and proved some of Snoke's lies right. ]
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Why not? Why can't you be the same? That's it, huh? You don't have to be the same. She knows you're not gonna be. But —
[ he can't find words for how angry he is. not even for himself, for leia. his expression shifts from one of disbelief to one of anger, brows furrowed and mouth a thin line. ]
I was right. You don't deserve her. She made mistakes, you made mistakes, and you don't even care. She'd forgive you, even though you don't deserve it. [ whoops let his bias slip in right there ] I know she would. But you don't care about anyone besides yourself. You don't care enough to try.
[ he can't even fathom it. not really. too blinded by his own loss — wanting his own mother back, being willing to forgive anything she could have done in the hypothetical future where he got to spend more time with her.
and leia, well, she somehow still kept giving him chances no matter how many stupid mistakes he made. sure, she demoted him after the dreadnought, but he deserved it. he understood. he knew it was from a place of love. probably. ]
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But Poe just keeps going and going and -- ]
Enough!
[ She turns and casts a hand out, throwing out a wave of energy. It's a purely emotional response, a small burst bound to push him back a bit and knock him off his feet at most. She wasn't striking out to hurt, after all, she just wants Poe to stop.
And as she lowers her arm, eyes stinging, she catches on those surface thoughts of his. The thoughts of his own mother, of Leia. They remind her of what she saw in his mind before, how close he and Leia are, how much he cares for her. Kylo's throat tightens and the glare she pins him with is dark with hurt. ]
You say Leia wants me back, but why would she care when she's replaced me with you? I suppose next you're going to try and say that I'm hurting her by having you here. That I should let you go because of her. [ Kylo didn't think she cared but oh, she does. It's an unexpected heartache, one that only compounds the feelings of abandonment she's carried since she was young. Of course she would be replaced. Of course. ] And how do you think your own mother would feel if she were still around, knowing that you found someone else to fill her role?
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didn't think i'd have a reply for this till tomorrow but inspiration struck
and then i took forever to reply like a jerk 💀
shush with that :*
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I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG 😭 w/ this one and the kaida thread
IT'S OK I FORGIVE YOU ❤
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sneaks in a reply before bed
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i like how i tried to keep this short and ended up rambling about a different subject lol
👌
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this is a wonderful surprise ❤
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sends you the customary novella to transition to a new scene
apparently i completely lost this tag?!
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