followhim | open post

[ there it is. he can feel her trying to pull it out from him — and it's honestly not that surprising, given her track record. he wants to recoil against her touch, but there's very little space between him and the wall. nowhere else to go. he tries to tilt his head away from her whispering, but it's the most he can do. the reply slips out, not provoked by the force ... it's simply an obvious conclusion. ]

Yes. I'd rather be dead than spend one more second in this hell with you. But I know what you want.

[ sure, he can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but he's not dumb. he gave her carte blanche in exchange for the girl's life. this, he assumed, was her coming to collect. as long as someone else's fate was on the line, he could rein in whatever impulses he had to lash out against her. for now. until he hit his limit — wherever that was. he wasn't even sure, not really. she was right. it was slipping, and not in a direction he liked. ]

[ Kylo hums a little sound of content. Honestly, it's arousing to her. The restrained anger, the hate, the way he so clearly doesn't want her remotely close to him. The allure of what shouldn't be had and lines that shouldn't be crossed.

She savors it because eventually it will no longer exist. One way or another. Whether she breaks him or twists his mind or some combination, the time will come where hate may linger but there will be no heat behind it. Freedom will have no call because it will offer him nothing. In time the enslaved can learn to love their chains... or at least not recall how to exist without them.

When he makes that slight movement away she takes advantage, brushing her lips against the line of his neck, tasting salt and the water. Her fingers curl around him, giving a slow stroke as she lingers close. ]

So feisty. We really will have to keep that fire of yours alive. Nothing enjoyable for anyone about simply going through the motions.

Don't —

[ he tries to jerk away from her lips when they meet his neck, as if he'd been shocked by electricity. all he manages to do is bump his head against the shower wall with a dull thud.

more than anything, he hates how good her touch feels. his brain is actively trying to turn off any part of his body trying to announce pleasure, but it's still there. how long had it been, since anyone touched him this way? a couple years, at least. being in the resistance took up so much of his time, there was none left over for —

he hates it. he hates how reactive he is. how much he wants her to keep holding him. this was her in his head, wasn't it? manipulating him. making him feel this way. this couldn't actually be the way he really felt, could it? he wants to dissociate again. go somewhere else completely. maybe it would be safer there.

instead, he remembers that he actually has full control over his own body and can do things like shove her away. there. much better. and more fulfilling. (but maybe too little too late.) ]

[ She can't help but smirk a little at the movement, lifting her head to lightly click her tongue against her teeth in a chastising sound. Careful now, wouldn't want to knock one's self out in the shower. Or perhaps more importantly, around her.

Aha, there it is. His defiance flaring up. She doesn't fight the shove, letting go of him for the moment. Kylo tilts her head to one side as she looks at him, the ghost of that smirk lingering on her lips. ]

Is that all you've got, hmm? A little shove?

[ She could bring up that he agreed to this, to whatever she wanted, but she saves that card for now. It's more fun to close the distance again and not allow him much of a reprieve. This time her hand goes to his hair, grabbing a fistful to tug his head back a bit so she can stare down at him all the better. ]

Surely you can do better than that, Poe. Unless, of course, you're just playing hard to get. I don't mind that game.

[ As she taunts him she leans in, and tries to kiss him once she's finished speaking. ]

[ he tries to jerk away from the kiss, too, but she has him by the hair. fine. he relents. which is to say — he doesn't pull away when she goes in for the kiss, but he also makes no effort to reciprocate. she may as well be kissing a rock.

it's almost funny, how easily he plays into her hands. "you can do better than that." it's almost like permission. like she hit a switch in his brain reminding him that he could retaliate.

the smart part of him — as small as it may be — tries to drag him back to common sense. she wants this. she wants him to try something, to break his word, so she can break hers. the girl. his myriad of newly healed scars ache with the reminder of everything she's already done to him. isn't this better? shouldn't he lean into this instead?

that's why his tune changes from "don't" to ]

I'm not playing any games with you. I'd rather get it over with.

[ Since he refuses to participate for the moment the kiss is rather chaste and brief. She doesn't really mind; it's not as if she can't change his tune if she grows tired of his free will.

Lifting her head, her eyes find his as she gives him a slight look. ]

Of course you are. Think about it... why fight so much if you really just want it over and done with? You're the one dragging this out, not me.

[ It's a little of both really, but saying as much wouldn't help try to provoke him.

Letting go of his hair and straightening, she pushes her own now-wet hair back from her face as she regards him. ] If you're going to be so stubborn I suppose I can simply put your mouth to work again. At least that I know you're good at despite your inexperience. Not that I'm exactly complaining. Much easier to train you when I don't have to contend with someone else having already influenced your technique.

[ he flushes with -- embarrassment? embarrassment.

she was right. wouldn't it be easier to just give in? drawing it out only made things worse. worse for him. but that was ... the idea of lying down and letting her do whatever she wanted was disgusting. he was still holding on to the hope that he'd get his way. she'd get frustrated with him and try something else.

still, that didn't seem to be happening any time soon.

and then there was the inexperience remark. it shouldn't have struck him the way it did ... but it did. made him a little defensive. he wanted to clarify that he hadn't been with a woman before. but it would mean going into any kind of detail with her, which he was stubbornly trying to avoid. and the idea of her training him. training? training. having to be with her over and over until --

keeping all the things he wanted to say inside left him with approximately nothing to actually say. ]

I said whatever you want. Just pick something.

[ Kylo doesn't remark on the color in his cheeks but she certainly notices it. Briefly it makes her wonder what else can cause that kind of a reaction.

She's not spying on his thoughts at the moment but she can sense his growing discontent. The continued feel of someone holding themselves back. Part of her is impressed. Another part is almost disappointed and borderline annoyed though, having expected him to rise to her provocation already. Anger could be such a good way -- an easy way -- to get at passion. ]

'Whatever I want' doesn't encompass you doing nothing. If I wanted that I would achieve it in other ways.

[ Seeming to debate for a moment, she leans in close, her eyes watching his as she again reaches for him. Her grip is firm and not the least bit hesitant, as if she's touched him a hundred times before. ]

I trust you at least know how best to use this? Because if I have to do all the work I'm not going to be pleased. [ She chuckles softly at herself before adding, ] I know, you don't care about my pleasure -- [ Yet, she mentally adds. ] -- but you're not getting left alone until I get off and I'm satisfied, so consider that your incentive.

I do.

[ he can feel it rolling up in him, like the dark clouds before a storm. just how much he hates her. the storm is going to break sooner or later — it's just a matter of which it's going to be.

the options were clear in front of him — he could push her away and escape from her touch again, continue being argumentative and defiant until she got bored used the force to get her way (he had no doubt that she would,

or he could just give in. get it over with. sure, he'd feel disgusted with himself, but at least that might get her to leave him alone for some amount of time. she just said it. she wouldn't leave him alone until she was satisfied.

so, with a huge mental sigh, he gives in. time to just do it. (i.e. just do her?) time to toe the line of what he can get away with. he moves forward to press her against the shower wall, instead of the other way around. he grabs her with both hands, pressing his nails into her sides. it's not like he has enough nail to get some cat claw action going, but maybe he can at least leave a mark. he kisses her, but there's some bite behind it. literal bite. more teeth than mouth. she can feel him getting hard in her hand; he doesn't want her to let go. mm everything is already awful. ]

[ She doesn't hide her smirk although it's more subtle this time, and she keeps any words of condescending praise to herself for now. Such could be saved for when the thread of defiance isn't yet so near to the surface. And she knows that point will come because it already has before. He didn't want to touch her before but he did, and he ended up enjoying it despite himself. She's aiming for a similar outcome here.

The scratching earns a quiet sound of approval as she rests back against the wall. Her free hand goes to the back of his head at the kiss, fingers curling in his hair but she doesn't tug or pull this time. There's nothing gentle about the kiss and that's just fine with her. She wasn't expecting -- or wanting -- something soft and sweet. ]

Much better. [ she murmurs against his mouth, unable to help just a little bit of goading.

Her other hand strokes him, slow and steady. Thoroughly enjoying the fact his body has no qualms about responding to her even if his mind does. ]

[ it's like a tipping scale wavering between disgust and pleasure, the victor changing every other moment. his mind can't handle it. his mind is going to have to shut itself off. just be a collection of animal instincts. he hates the "much better," but takes pleasure in the sensation of her hand. quite obviously takes pleasure in the sensation of her hand. his mouth travels away from her mouth to her neck and shoulders, still all biting and teeth scraping. he didn't think he could actually hurt her, not in the way that he wanted to deep down, but he could leave some kind of mark. ~~he was already into leaving marks.~~

the tempting thing is to just ride it out to completion, to see if he could get away with such a thing. but he knows better. the command was to satisfy her.

he's got one half-baked idea, and he's going to give it a shot. once he decides he's hard enough, he attempts to grab her and spin her around to face the wall. if he can enter her from behind and not actually look at her, maybe it won't seem so bad. ]

[ The attention from his mouth is unexpected, honestly, but beyond welcome, and she closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy it. A particular spot earns a sharp intake of breath and she tilts her head to the side a little in silent encouragement to linger, her grip on his hair briefly tightening. It's a good start and she's ready for more, aided by the fact that all the provocation and defiance is practically foreplay for her.

And then he has to go and try to make things happen more on his terms than hers.

Her eyes slide open partway, giving a heated glare as she reaches to catch his hands before he succeeds in getting her turned around. It's not that she's opposed to the change in position, but he hasn't earned having that much control. Not when she can guess at why he wants it. ]

Oh, I don't think so. If you wanted to do this your way then maybe you shouldn't have been so stubborn about doing this at all.

[ Her hands move to grab his hips, pulling him closer, and she tilts her head so she can nip at his jaw. ] You'll learn. If you want more choice then you need to behave. Bad behavior doesn't earn a reward.

All right, all right.

[ there he goes, caught red-handed. again. he thought he was getting somewhere with the way he was managing to please her; that was clearly incorrect. she's here and more than happy to remind him that he has no control over the situation.

the worst part of the configuration they're in at the moment, with him still against the wall and facing her, is that the best way to keep from slipping in the shower and properly thrust his way in is to hold on to her. it's more active touching of her than he'd like. like she's not already touching him, her hands at his hips the way that they are. her mouth so close.

he wants to keep going. to get it over with, obviously. not being he's actually getting any kind of pleasure out of it. (at least, that's what he's trying to tell himself.) that's all he's doing as he positions himself inside her and puts his arms around her, digging into her back again. this is all just to get it over with. ]

[ She's braced for more of a fight on the matter, but what tension arose fades as he relents. Kylo doesn't relax so much as settle, her grip on his hips lightening up when he doesn't try to move away.

Honestly. For someone who was so insistent that they hated being in her mere presence, let alone --

Her train of thought derails when she feels him push inside, and she's unable to keep quiet a soft gasp. Almost reflexively she shifts closer, her hands moving along his sides as she brings a leg up to hook around his, giving him easier access. The way she can feel him grabbing at her back makes her arch toward him, one hand dragging her nails over his ribs. ]

Mm, don't be gentle. [ Whether the lowly spoken words are meant to be encouragement, permission, or demand is up for debate. ]

[ look, he's learning some very valuable life lessons about picking your battles and your hills to die on. he learned it on the field in tlj, now he's learning it in some very specific interpersonal ways. he's not getting anywhere with this. maybe when his brain is back online, he'll cook up a better plan.

as it is, he's still working on a) not thinking, and b) getting it over with. if he can make himself forget that she's kylo ren, like he keeps trying to do, maybe it can be an enjoyable experience. ]

You don't deserve gentle.

[ it comes out as some kind of rough grumble against her mouth. one hand moves to grab her leg instead. his touch is too hard, the way he thrusts too violent. he pushes her (both of them) to the opposite shower wall. ]

[ There's a reply on the tip of her tongue, held back for the moment to instead focus on the slight tonal shift of his movements. Yes, this is what she was after. Trying to urge him to take advantage of an outlet for all that discontent and anger and hate he has locked up inside of him.

She makes a low sound of content that turns into a moan when he pushes her against the wall, hips driving into her hard. In contrast to his earlier try at changing positions, she doesn't fight this one. If anything she takes advantage of it, grabbing on to his shoulders to lift herself so she can wrap both legs around him.

One of her hands goes to the back of his head as she leans down to kiss him hard, hungry for more of him. For the time being she doesn't care where his mind is so long as he performs well. He's at least doing a good job of keeping her pleasantly distracted from considering using any of her abilities on him. ]

[ poe's not weak by any means, but her clinging onto him like this is still A Lot. he tightens the grip he already had on her leg and keeps going. he's still thrusting hard, only dully aware of the possibility of a slip hazard in the midst of all this. but that's fine, isn't it? maybe that's it. kind of an embarrassing way to die, but living hasn't been much better.

he returns her kiss with another kiss that's more like a bite. he's already establishes his style here, and it's feral. he just wants to keep going until she comes, but at this point he realizes that he actually ... might finish first??? he's that into what's happening. which would be horrifying if he hadn't hit the mute button on his ability to care. ]

[ The way he's holding onto her makes her think he might leave a bruise and that thought sends an additional spike of pleasure straight down her spine. Distantly she wants to test his limits, to push his limits and him and see just what he's capable of (in more than one way) but in the here and now she simply wants him to keep going.

She has no issue with meeting the violence of his kiss, biting his lip hard when she finally breaks from his mouth in favor of tilting her head back against the wall as her breaths come hard and heavy. Already she can feel a certain ache of soreness and it makes her groan. For a moment she's torn between wanting to tighten her legs around him and refraining from it so he has more room to thrust.

In the end she reflexively tightens around him, locking her ankles and her hands holding tight to his shoulders. Maybe she should be concerned about them having an accident in the shower but her mind is so far from that. Truthfully she has no idea if such a thing would trigger her precognition; danger on the field of battle and danger in the bedroom are such completely different things.

By the time she's on the verge of release she's definitely not thinking about anything but the feel of him inside her. She curses, loud and with feeling, when she's finally pushed over the edge, her back arching and nails digging in where she's holding on to him. ]

[ his orgasm is like an echo back, an intense shock to his system that rips through him and makes his vision go white. there's nothing but warmth. the way he feels so warm inside of her, the warmth of her body against his paired with how flushed he feels from all the exertion. the heat from the shower still going. he feels like he's going to dissipate into the warmth, leaving nothing behind.

but it's her. he tries to drag himself back from everything he's drowning in with that reminder. it's not allowed to feel good. nothing about this is okay. he can't want this. he doesn't want to want this.

he wants to shove her away, but his bones don't know how. ]

[ She relaxes against the shower wall, heavy-lidded eyes on him as she soaks in the moment. There's a certain satisfaction in knowing he enjoyed himself to a degree. That on some level he gave in and didn't simply go through the motions in hopes of getting her off quickly and then being free of her for a time. For all his protesting and his reluctance, he had yet to outright disappoint her.

He liked to speak of death, but why oh why would she let die someone who showed such potential for grooming and conditioning? After all, she knew a thing or two about fighting only to be guided down a path she previously hadn't wanted to travel.

One hand lifted from his shoulder to touch his face, delicately tracing the scar she'd given him. Tomorrow she would let the doctors tend to it, have him fully healed, but in the moment it was a pleasant reminder of her power over him. ]

That wasn't so bad now was it? [ she crooned, her voice still breathy.

Tempting as it was to force another kiss, she allowed him that small mercy, instead focusing her attention on carefully uncurling her legs from around him, groaning softly as her hips shifted, not quite separating. If he wanted distance he would have to initiate it, as she was certainly content to let him suffer her presence a little longer before leaving him for the remainder of the night. ]

[ his face returns to the usual sort of express he wears around her — distaste, disgust, sourness — when she traces the scar like that. he'd almost forgotten it was there again. just like he'd almost forgotten this was her. he felt like a cornered animal biding his time for an opening. an opportunity to escape. (as much as he could. at this point making it out of the shower back to the rest of the room was an "escape.")

instead of answering (he would never give her the satisfaction), he pushes past her as soon as she's untangled from him enough to allow it. he also almost forgets a towel; he's so eager to leave that he'd rather be dripping wet and cold in the bedroom than still sharing a hot shower with her. it's grabbed in a jerking afterthought of a motion as he lunges for the door. ]

[ He can be relieved that she makes no effort to stop him. Instead, amusement colors her features as she watches him practically bolt out of the shower, causing her to outright chuckle. She'd almost call it embarrassment, the way he's so rushed to get away and presumably cover up.

Kylo, in sharp contrast, takes her time. Rinses herself off in the shower before turning the water off, grabs another towel to wring out her hair and dry off. Too, she steps over to wipe steam off the mirror and glance over her reflection, lips twisting in a little smirk at the sight of faint bruising.

The towel gets left behind as she walks out into the room; she wants him to see the marks he's left behind. ]

I'm going to enjoy keeping you around quite a bit. You might be the only one on this ship who's not afraid to try and hurt me. [ She speaks casually, almost idle conversation as she walks to where she left her clothes, beginning to redress. ] I don't think I'm going to erase that just yet. Anger and hatred is quite useful.

[ it was pretty embarrassing, truth be told. but poe's threshold for shame was becoming a lowering limbo bar. (which was probably exactly what she wanted.) his desire to get away from her overrode any desire to be dignified about it. he can even hear her laughing at him as he exits, but he doesn't care.

as he dries off, he starts to enjoy his blissful alone time. even if it's pressed upon by the fact that she is just one door away and could come out at any time. he has to find clothes. first, becoming dry, then finding the outfit kylo ren had sent over for him.

he only gets as far as the drying process when she steps out after him. ]

You must not be looking hard enough. [ he tries his hardest to still quip. to hang on to some piece of himself, a piece that wouldn't be smashed down and wiped out.

it would be wrong to say he doesn't feel some small amount of satisfaction from seeing her all marked up like that. marked up because of him.

he tries to shove the feeling down. ]

[ His words earn an amused huff of breath. ] Oh, sure, I could pluck some trooper or officer from the masses and tell them to hurt me but they wouldn't, not really.

Not like you desire to.

[ It's one of the reasons Kylo rarely toys with any of the troops anymore; no challenge and little satisfaction in it for her. Never very sexy to demand someone get rough only to have them fret that it's a test and worry over what they're actually supposed to do. All that ever usually did for her was shift sexual lust toward bloodlust.

Mostly dressed, she sits in the chair she'd left her clothes on so she can put her boots back on, only to pause before she does as a thought comes to mind. ]

Oh Dameron... [ There's a light, almost sing-song tone to her voice as she calls his name. Deceptive innocence that does nothing to diminish how she calls on the Force to give her words power. ] Stop trying to cover up, and come here and help me with my boots. [ She smirks as she eyes him, sure that he'd much rather keep as much distance between them as possible right now. ]

[ he tries to fight the command, which results in maybe a whole moment's pause before he compliantly kneels in front of her to help her with her boots, the search for clothes discarded. it makes the anger well up in him, the way she could easily bend him to her will. it was nothing. she's right; he does want to hurt her. to make her feel everything he feels.

instead, he's left tightening her bootstraps, clenching his teeth. ]

Stop doing that to me.

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