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[followhim]

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[followhim]

he felt the same way until he got to know me and didn't. i could've waited for that shoe to drop and saved myself the trouble.

[ it's hard to get into his feelings on this without digging back into thrawn. and he really doesn't want to because arguing with rey is HOW THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED. and now they are best friends?? so that's fun. a fun game of avoidance. ]

[forcevisions]

[ Meanwhile Rey's brain is screaming with all of her own newfound intimacy issues. But Ben came back. Ben still cared. And Finn and Poe were ??? kind of her light at the end of the tunnel kind of 'look how good it can be' target for a while. So seeing Poe ripped up like this, shitting on that ... hurts. It's a wake-up call for sure. ]

You don't know that. You don't know that his feelings changed just because you had a fight.

[followhim]

I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE HE JUST LEFT

he couldn't even talk to me

he just left

[ mood ]

[forcevisions]

You know, it happened before. When we were with ALASTAIR together.

I was coming apart. Perdition's Rest was really awful. I thought I was a monster. I behaved like a monster. And then one day, Finn was just gone. The only friend I had.

He didn't say anything then either. I think it was too hard for him. But Poe, it didn't mean he thought I was a monster, and it didn't mean he hated you either. They probably didn't give him a choice.

[followhim]

seems really convenient

[ he loves finn so much but so help him he is dragging out the pepe silvia conspiracy theory board. ]

[forcevisions]

And it seems really cold to just walk away instead of working through it. Finn wouldn't just run.

[ like he tried to do ... away from the resistance ... to get her ... ]

[followhim]

[ ????? their entire relationship was based on finn's desire to run away from the first order. WHO ARE YOU?

does finn think he and rey are as bad as the first order??????? oh no here goes galaxy brain. it's not even galaxy brain anymore, it's the galaxy dude after the galaxy brain. he's become galaxy dude.

no, this is stupid. finn is a beautiful amazing angel from heaven. why would he do that?

his single brain cell is overheating. help. ]

working through it when he doesn't know about anything that happened? it's not fair to hold him accountable and talk about all this stuff he didn't even do.

[forcevisions]

Poe, I love you. You know I love you. But you're being stupid.

Finn didn't leave Hathaway because he was running away from you. He did know what happened. He wouldn't have just skipped out on getting through it.

But this Finn want to work through it too — because he cares about you and your feelings. Because he wants to help you. Not because he feels responsible.

Give him the chance.

[followhim]

[ HE DOESN'T BELIEVE HER but he wants to believe in finn. at least, in this finn. he didn't do anything. he literally just showed up to give good news and receive hugs.

maybe she was right. in some way. not about the whole thing. but maybe he could talk about it with finn without the expectation of it ... being some kind of emotional confrontation.

hope is like the sun. have to believe in it even when you can see it. stupid leia wisdom. ]

yeah. maybe we'll get a minute to talk sometime. somewhere around here.

[forcevisions]

Tell me when you do. I'll bite my tongue until then.

[followhim]

thanks. sorry i'm being stupid.

i think it's hard to not be stupid about this stuff.

[forcevisions]

I understand.

That's why it's important to talk about it. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to hold it all in.

[followhim]

yeah, probably. i already feel pretty crazy now. pretty sure finn thinks i'm crazy, too. i saw him and it was like my brain shut off.

i tried to walk backwards on the beach

[forcevisions]

To get away from him?

[followhim]

yeah. and then i fell over on a rock or something and tried to just lay there

it didn't work

i don't know why i did that

[forcevisions]

Because you saw him and you panicked.

[followhim]

yeah.

maybe it'll be better if we aren't together here. because of all the sex stuff. or maybe it'll be worse. i don't know. i just started thinking about it. right now.

[forcevisions]

[ oh no.






oh no.

she applies this to her relationship with ben. it's a mess. then she remembers that finn offered to do her and poe offered to do her and she almost banged ben on the beach didn't she /? ? it's sort of hazy like the empress' wedding. ]

I didn't think things could get more complicated.

[followhim]

we'll probably have to talk about it, right? not just you and me

but maybe you and me

we can still have sex, but it's okay if it happens with other people too, right? it's not like we can control when they're going to surprise drug us again

[forcevisions]

Finn offered too.

[ SHE CAN'T JUST HOLD THAT INSIDE. ]

You said we should talk about it, so.

[followhim]

with you?

[ ??? he can't ... be salty ... he knows finn and rey were close. are close. closer than finn was with him, apparently.

does it make him a little sad, though? yeah. sad and then annoyed at himself for feeling sad. ]

that's between you guys

[forcevisions]

Poe. If it bothers you, you need to say something.

[followhim]

he's your best friend, and he doesn't remember anything with me. i get it. i do. i'm not gonna be mad about it.

[forcevisions]

Well I don't.

I don't get it. I don't know what to do about any of this.

I need help.

[followhim]

i just mean

you guys are best friends. you want your first time to be special. he probably feels the same way, since. you know. he doesn't remember anything with me, so it's not like you're getting in the middle of something. you should be able to choose whoever you want, so long as they want it back.

so i'm not mad. kind of sad, i guess. but i don't want you to feel sorry for me.

i wonder if everyone else here has to overthink it this much