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[followhim]

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[forcevisions]

Because it's not about whether he's likely to react in a way that you like. He deserves to make his own choice.

[ She had to swallow down a whole spiel about how sometimes things look like the end when it's really just the middle and you have to tough it out and how she learned that from Her Friends (and Ben) and there's always hope. For that. Because that's really the crux.

Anything less than honesty is living a lie to make himself feel better instead of confronting those problems. It's using Finn. Plain and simple. ]

[followhim]

it was a mistake and i'm not gonna make a mistake again just because i made it the first time

[ calling your relationship a mistake is a shitty thing that he didn't want to say but it's out there on the table now. should have just kept yeeting for the resistance. who needs lovers when you have A Cause. ]

[forcevisions]

You're asking me to lie to him too, you know.

[ After she literally just dug her heels in with Ben in order to stop having to lie to people she cared about because it was hurting her. ]

[followhim]

[ two paths diverged in a yellow wood: respecting your friend's feelings or being a stubborn jackass.

he stares at this fork in the road for a very long time for yeeting on over to ]

i'm not going to tell him! i shouldn't have said anything in the first place. i just ... did it, like every other stupid-ass thing i've done.

[forcevisions]

Being honest about how you feel is never stupid, Poe.

[followhim]

i should've thought about it before i did it. but i didn't. i never think things through.

[forcevisions]

Is this because of Finn or because of Zenith?

Poe, we would have come anyway. Even if we'd known what it was. Being here is the right thing to do. There won't be a Resistance if this disease isn't dealt with.

[followhim]

i know that!!! i meant finn. i didn't think it through with finn. i know the zenith thing.

[forcevisions]

Well things with Finn are the same. Even if you had thought it through, you still would have told him how you felt, and he'd still have felt the same! That's not the kind of thing you can just ignore until it goes away.

I know.

[followhim]

he felt the same way until he got to know me and didn't. i could've waited for that shoe to drop and saved myself the trouble.

[ it's hard to get into his feelings on this without digging back into thrawn. and he really doesn't want to because arguing with rey is HOW THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED. and now they are best friends?? so that's fun. a fun game of avoidance. ]

[forcevisions]

[ Meanwhile Rey's brain is screaming with all of her own newfound intimacy issues. But Ben came back. Ben still cared. And Finn and Poe were ??? kind of her light at the end of the tunnel kind of 'look how good it can be' target for a while. So seeing Poe ripped up like this, shitting on that ... hurts. It's a wake-up call for sure. ]

You don't know that. You don't know that his feelings changed just because you had a fight.

[followhim]

I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE HE JUST LEFT

he couldn't even talk to me

he just left

[ mood ]

[forcevisions]

You know, it happened before. When we were with ALASTAIR together.

I was coming apart. Perdition's Rest was really awful. I thought I was a monster. I behaved like a monster. And then one day, Finn was just gone. The only friend I had.

He didn't say anything then either. I think it was too hard for him. But Poe, it didn't mean he thought I was a monster, and it didn't mean he hated you either. They probably didn't give him a choice.

[followhim]

seems really convenient

[ he loves finn so much but so help him he is dragging out the pepe silvia conspiracy theory board. ]

[forcevisions]

And it seems really cold to just walk away instead of working through it. Finn wouldn't just run.

[ like he tried to do ... away from the resistance ... to get her ... ]

[followhim]

[ ????? their entire relationship was based on finn's desire to run away from the first order. WHO ARE YOU?

does finn think he and rey are as bad as the first order??????? oh no here goes galaxy brain. it's not even galaxy brain anymore, it's the galaxy dude after the galaxy brain. he's become galaxy dude.

no, this is stupid. finn is a beautiful amazing angel from heaven. why would he do that?

his single brain cell is overheating. help. ]

working through it when he doesn't know about anything that happened? it's not fair to hold him accountable and talk about all this stuff he didn't even do.

[forcevisions]

Poe, I love you. You know I love you. But you're being stupid.

Finn didn't leave Hathaway because he was running away from you. He did know what happened. He wouldn't have just skipped out on getting through it.

But this Finn want to work through it too — because he cares about you and your feelings. Because he wants to help you. Not because he feels responsible.

Give him the chance.

[followhim]

[ HE DOESN'T BELIEVE HER but he wants to believe in finn. at least, in this finn. he didn't do anything. he literally just showed up to give good news and receive hugs.

maybe she was right. in some way. not about the whole thing. but maybe he could talk about it with finn without the expectation of it ... being some kind of emotional confrontation.

hope is like the sun. have to believe in it even when you can see it. stupid leia wisdom. ]

yeah. maybe we'll get a minute to talk sometime. somewhere around here.

[forcevisions]

Tell me when you do. I'll bite my tongue until then.

[followhim]

thanks. sorry i'm being stupid.

i think it's hard to not be stupid about this stuff.

[forcevisions]

I understand.

That's why it's important to talk about it. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to hold it all in.

[followhim]

yeah, probably. i already feel pretty crazy now. pretty sure finn thinks i'm crazy, too. i saw him and it was like my brain shut off.

i tried to walk backwards on the beach

[forcevisions]

To get away from him?

[followhim]

yeah. and then i fell over on a rock or something and tried to just lay there

it didn't work

i don't know why i did that

[forcevisions]

Because you saw him and you panicked.