followhim | open post

[he's flat on his back with her boot pressed against his chest -- which feels like it's on fire -- but none of it matters. he completely forgets himself. everything around him dulls and grays out because all he can hear is bb-8 beeping and shocking people.

he tries to keep his reaction contained. kylo would still know how he was feeling (like he was being torn apart), but at least it would only be her.

but he can't. it was irrational, treating bb-8 like a person. wanting to say goodbye to a collection of parts and programming. but bb-8 was real to him. he's not even thinking of all the data the first order could gain from him, he's thinking of his friend. rationality doesn't exist here.

(letting him go off with the map was different. he could still hope then. there was no hope here.)

he jerks his head to where bb-8 is fighting off the troopers and calls out ]

BB-8!!

[ he doesn't know what else to say. what else he could say. not here and now. not "i love you," of all the stupid things. but he knew bb-8 already knew that. hoped it. bb-8 beeps back, and tries to roll towards him. i can't believe this is the saddest thing i've ever written in my entire life. ]

Be brave, okay buddy?

[ everything hurts so much. physically and emotionally. when did he start crying, that's weird. ]

[ Kylo can feel the emotion coming off of him in waves. It's a heady cocktail and she actually closes her eyes for the briefest of moments, soaking it in. So much pain and anguish. She's felt it from him before of course but this is different. Sweeter in its sorrow. This is the kind of emotion that can't be faked because it comes from a pure place, one of love and genuine care.

How kind of Poe to give her his primary weakness without her having to lift a finger to take it from him.

She steps away from him and turns to approach the scene with purposeful strides. There was nothing she could physically do to him right then that would resonate the way harm to his precious droid would. Who was she to ignore the obvious?

Droids might not be able to feel the Force but they were certainly susceptible to it, and she lifts the brightly-colored ball of metal several feet in the air as she lifts her hand. Stopping to stand among the weary troopers, she looks up at the protesting droid, regarding BB-8 quietly. She could destroy it now if she really wanted to; she can just imagine how it might emotionally destroy Poe, and that makes it tempting. In the past she would have done it without further thought. However, any potential data -- whether in regards to the Resistance or the pilot himself -- held far more value than the torment it would cause Poe.

Of course, just because she wasn't going to destroy it didn't mean she wasn't going to be cruel. Which is precisely what she aims for as she flicks her wrist and forcefully launches the droid into the wall, visibly denting the wall in the process. ]

Contain it and get it to the astromech department before I rip out the data myself. [ She commands impatiently, watching as a squad of troopers moves to obey. ]

[ when bb-8 is lifted up, his body still spinning and treading the air, poe flat-out forgets how to breathe. he's bracing himself for it; he's bracing himself for kylo ren to use the force to smash his droid into pieces and he doesn't think he can watch.

and then she just flings him into the wall. he exhales. it was still horrible, his eyes are still glassy, but he didn't have to watch whatever was going to happen to bb-8 next.

it's only after, when the troopers start to cart the droid off, that poe considers how much information bb-8 has. not only a database of resistance information, but a database of himself. logs he kept, files about himself and even his parents that he uploaded. holos of himself and his friends (why did bb record so many of rey and finn? he doesn't know). all that information, ranging the whole spectrum from vital to innocuous, going to the first order for kylo ren and any other first order officers to sort through.

a different, nauseous kind of dread settles in the pit of his stomach.

he doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to because the way he's lying there feeling dead inside and hopeless speaks volumes. ]

Edited (rewrites most of this tag now that i'm home lmfao) 2018-05-29 23:59 (UTC)

[ As she returns to where Poe still lays on the floor, she takes note of his emotions. The way it appears like for once the fight has left him. There's a certain satisfaction in seeing how much effect a simple action can have. Although a smaller part of her is irked because his present state is caused by an indirect action and not something she directly did to him.

Ah well, there would be plenty of time for her to invoke that sense of hopelessness in him by her own hands, among other emotions.

Once near him Kylo lifts a hand, using the Force to bring Poe to his feet in front of her. ]

That droid of yours has lots of secrets locked away inside, doesn't it? Such a wonderful present for you to bring me. I do have to wonder, though, which would hurt you more? The little droid's destruction... or having its memory wiped and re-calibrating the behavior core. Those BB droids are just so useful around here.

[ A devious grin curves her lips as she speaks, and once she's done she nods to the troopers hovering nearby, two of them stepping up to grab Poe by his arms as she releases her hold on him. ]

Take him to interrogation. We wouldn't want him to be too comfortable while we head back to the Supremacy.

[ honestly, he didn't know which would be worse. they were both bad. erasing his personality was just as bad as destroying him completely. he would still be lost one way or the other. wiped out.

he could plead for bb-8's life ("life"?), but what use was that? what would that accomplish? they barely cared about his well-being, let alone a droid's.

that was it. that was going to be the last time he ever saw bb-8. (his bb-8, the way he was.) it's a lot to process.

back in reality and not his headspace, being unable to move (except in the broadest, most tenuous strokes if he exerted himself) was bad enough, but being moved by the force while already immobilized was even more awful somehow. ]

Oh yeah, I'm sure you're real worried about my comfort.

[ he found a tiny little ounce of bravado inside himself. was it a good retort? did it even make sense? not really, but it's the thought that counts. ]

Not in the slightest.

[ She trails her eyes over him, a little smirk twisting her lips, and she steps in close. One of her hands moves to rest on his chest, fingertips drumming over his heart. Almost more a reminder to her than him of that little (in her mind) instance of physical pain she caused him. ]

A plain ol' holding cell is too good for rebel scum like yourself. [ Leaning in closer, what he would likely find uncomfortably close, her voice lowers to a more predatory tone as her eyes stay on his. ] The interrogation room will be a vacation compared to what I'm going to do to you, Dameron. Our time before was cut so short. I didn't get to have any fun.

[ Kylo tilts her head, leaning in to speak in his ear, her breath fanning his skin. ] You already know that I can take anything I want from you. I can have whatever I want and you can't stop me. Think about that while you have some time to yourself. Getting inside your mind is only the beginning.

[ Stepping back then, she gestures for the troopers to take him away. It would take some time to return to where the fleet's flagship was yet being repaired and Kylo wants him to stew in his emotions and mental anguish for a while. She's not concerned in the slightest about the Resistance trying to save him; he's valuable but that doesn't make it any less of a fool's errand. Of course, if someone were that foolish she would happily make time to break down someone else in the Resistance. There's more than enough of her brand of pain to go around. ]

[ her plan to remind him of how much pain she just caused him pans out. just the attention makes his heart skip a beat (in the bad way), an ache that had barely subsided coming back. ]

I don't think we have the same idea about fun.

[ he snaps back with the only thing he knows how to say. and that's all there is. his brain can't manage a reply to the next thing, with both her breath and her words sending a shiver down his spine. this was bad. he didn't want to think about what was going to come after getting inside his mind. he didn't even want to be inside his mind right now.

he struggles against the troopers in his sad limp way before being taken to interrogation. at that point, it doesn't matter whether or not the stunning wore off, since he's busy wallowing. that objective of her plan is complete. but not even for himself, not really. as always, his mind turns towards the resistance. the resistance and bb-8. all those things he couldn't save. ]

[ Kylo doesn't so much as walk past the interrogation room during the journey back to the Supremacy. There are more important things for her to attend to, like seeing if they managed to track any of the fleeing ships or checking on how things were going with his droid. All that information she would certainly comb through herself, along with having a few officers document everything. Sifting through the Resistance-focused data she'd mostly leave to the officers. The personal information would really only be of value to her, though she'd likely have someone categorize it for her. As much as she might want to dive right into it, there was no rush. The prisoner certainly wasn't going anywhere.

At one point between tending to various matters, she pulls General Hux aside. It had taken a little while but Kylo managed to put a fearful respect in the General similar to what he'd held for Snoke. The past few battles he performed above expectation and she felt that deserved a little reward. Positive reinforcement mixed with a test, not that the man would be aware of the latter. Might the General care to have a few minutes with the pilot who so embarrassed him previously? Her smirk at the way he responds never makes it to her face, and she sends him on his way with a Knight trailing after. While she's fine with Hux roughing Poe up, that's all she was allowing. If anyone was going to be inflicting serious pain on him, it would be her and her alone.

When it comes time to head over to the flagship, she's already on board the shuttle by the time troopers bring Poe to the ship. Glancing up from the report she's looking over, her eyes do a quick sweep of him. She knew things hadn't gotten out of hand thanks to her Knight, though she also knew Hux would have been all too happy to kill the other man if she would only allow it. (Which was never happening but the General could dream.) ]

It looks like someone paid you a little visit.

[ hux. in a normal situation, no blasters, just fists against fists, poe could have taken hux. maybe he was smaller, but he had better reflexes. had been in more bar brawls, probably.

but, of course, that was not the situation here. here he was trapped on an interrogation rack with no way to fight back. maybe he should have been grateful that this had just been a warm-up compared to the use of an actual interrogation droid, more of a small, petty act on hux's part, but that didn't take away the blood or the bruises.

he was sporting a bloody nose, a black eye blooming into existence from the seeming attempt to break his nose, and a hint of blood glinting out of his mouth. he was still in one piece, though. clearly hux was toeing the line of "rough him up." ]

He wasn't a good visitor.

[ thats all he has to say at the moment. short and blunt. possibly from pain. ]

On the contrary, he behaved just as he was supposed to. [ A small pleased smile curves her lips as she replies. Smug, really. The puppet master happy her puppet obeyed the pulling of his strings.

As the door to the shuttle closes the troopers move to sit him across from her but Kylo clicks her tongue and gives a slight shake of her head. ]

Come, sit beside me. [ The Force backs her words as she speaks to Poe, turning what might be a simple request from someone else into a command, a compulsion to obey. Her eyes follow him, that smug smile lingering on her lips. It's not difficult at all for Kylo to picture him doing anything she tells him to, and it's just one of many things she's looking forward to. The obedience will be enjoyable but almost more so will be the fight. Watching him struggle against himself, against what her power bids him to do.

It could be such delicious torment; looking in someone's eyes to see how much they absolutely didn't want to do something even as the rest of their body betrayed their free will. Kylo knew it to be so because, truthfully? She'd felt a taste of it herself, years ago when her power wasn't half as refined or as powerful as it is now. Brianna had experienced it and it made her sick, and, as with so many things, Kylo took that pain and inflicted it upon others in a twisted sort of vengeance.

Setting aside what she was reading, Kylo turns slightly toward Poe and a gloved hand comes up to rest against the side of his face. Her thumb brushes across his lip, catching the slight bit of blood before she takes her hand away. ]

You should get used to the pain, Dameron. It's going to be a constant friend of yours. [ She doesn't even glance away from him as she licks the smear of blood off her thumb. ] Oh, and I really should thank you for having that droid with you. It's so loaded with information I almost won't need to go digging in your mind again. [ She still would, of course. It just might not be information on the Resistance that she'll be after. ]

[ he hadn't experienced this before, not really. it ranks, along with almost everything else kylo ren has done to him, as one of the worst experiences of his life. he tries to fight against it. his mind screams, tries its best to will his body not to move, but its not listening. he peels away from the rack and moves to sit beside her, as casually as if it were of his own volition.

but it's not.

she's not controlling his face, however -- his expression remains livid with anger. the pain doesn't matter. he can deal with pain, he's taken more than enough of it over the years. the blood dripping down his face, that kind of pain ... it hurts, but it's not unfamiliar. bearable enough.

when her hand touches his face, comes so close to her mouth, he's tempted to bite down. he hesistates, though, and her hand is gone again.

he's not surprised she brings up bb-8. his anguish when they were separated was so intense, a normal person could see how deep the blow struck him. let alone a force-sensitive.

anything he could say would be hollow and useless. it was too late for "leave him alone." it hurt so much. hoping felt stupid, but even if he did escape, if he made his way out and was able to make his way back to the resistance and get back in the seat of an x-wing --

that life without bb-8 felt unimaginable. it had always been him and bb-8. sure, people lost their astromechs all the time, but not him. he shudders with the effort to push down his emotions. ]

That droid was worth more than every piece of tech on this ship.

[ The emotional pain that comes off him in waves is exhilarating to her. Such an easy trigger that barely takes effort to hit, and yet he reacts so strongly to it. Kylo would find it more curious if she hadn't been briefed over just how much data truly was on the droid. Clearly the droid had been a trusted companion. Kept as close as a loved one, if the emotions she picks up from Poe are any indication. ]

Worth that much to you, clearly.

[ Kylo relaxes back against the seat, casually crossing one leg over the other, her easy comfort a sharp contrast to his anguish. ]

Just what might you give to save the droid, I wonder. [ Oh, she'll take what she wants, that's a given at this point. But it was still interesting to her, to see what people were willing to do if presented with the option of saving a loved one from an equally terrible fate. Just how much did Poe care about his precious metal companion? ] It's still fully functional, by the way. The data transfer isn't yet complete. [ And in case he doesn't believe her (as she doubts he would) she reaches down for the tablet she'd been reading, tapping a few things before bringing up the video feed for where BB-8 is. Kylo holds the screen out to show him; the droid might be powered down and well-contained, but its physical condition is as he last saw it and there's no evidence of disassembly to remove the behavior core.

Her gaze is squarely on Poe, expression calm as if she were discussing something far more harmless and mundane. ] How much does its life mean to you, Dameron? Its fate is not yet sealed.

[ he doesn't reply right away. bb-8 is still alive, not reprogrammed. still himself. he saw it. he could see it on the screen. a small tremor of relief passes through him. he wanted the droid to be okay so much. bb-8 didn't deserve anything that was going to happen to him. he wouldn't understand it. and then he wouldn't be anything.

this is a game. it's all some kind of game to kylo ren. he knows it. he knows she expects him to say yes, and that he's going to walk into some kind of trap. it's going to be horrible. excruciating.

but he would regret it more if he didn't. ]

What do you want?

[ he uses this brief time when he has control over his limbs to wipe away the blood from his nose and mouth with his sleeve. and to obscure some of his emotions, maybe. ]

Edited 2018-06-06 21:40 (UTC)

I'm asking, not telling. [ A brow arches ever so slightly, expression otherwise unchanged. ] The droid doesn't have to be destroyed. We can simply take the data and leave the personality in tact. That's what you desire, yes? For your friend to remain as he is.

[ Kylo's actually not entirely opposed to doing as she proposes. The droid itself meant nothing to her; its only value was in its data and its relation to Poe. Releasing it held some use as well. By now the Resistance knew their star pilot was either dead or captured, the droid could confirm their fears. Kylo might even send a personal message with it.

If she did choose to release it. That all depended on Poe.

Feeling the shuttle move, she glances toward the front, speaking as she does so, her eyes shortly returning to him. ]

You have until we reach the Supremacy to decide. What would you give to see your droid released safely? What would you trade for its life?

[ anything.

the answer, of course, was anything. but he didn't want to actually say the word. to just hand over carte blanche for only maker knows what kind of torment.

that said, even if he tried, he wasn't able to parse it down to something less than anything. every attempt he made to draw a line was a failure, completely untrue. it was the same bottomless, selfless kind of love that parents felt for their children, he imagined.

he couldn't put a price on bb-8. wouldn't. in the end, how much was it going to matter what happened to himself, really? ]

Stop toying with me. You already know I'm gonna say anything, I know you do. You just want to hear me say it out loud. Fine. Anything. I'd do anything.

[ some of the intensity of his speech is ruined by how, now that he's speaking in more than clipped words, it's apparent that his possibly broken nose makes him sound congested. ]

[ Oh, I'm going to toy with you until you're well dead. she thinks to herself but doesn't voice or project.

She does purse her lips slightly, a touch amused. Such fervor in him. She'll have to be careful to not extinguish that fire, not until she tires of it, if she tires of it. After all, if she wanted someone easy to beat down she could take her pick from the stormtroopers or lesser officers, but that was only ever entertaining for a short while. ]

What I want is something specific. I can take anything. I want to know what you'll give.

[ It's a game, yes, but that doesn't mean she's not paying attention or his answers don't bear importance. In a way she's giving him a chance to pick his poison, so to speak. Not that she's certain he realizes that. ]

[ well, isn't that a new and exciting quandary he never wanted to be faced with. saying "anything" was easy. bracing himself for whatever horrible thing that might come his way was easy.

having to pick the weapon of his own destruction was less easy.

did he choose too much? if he chose too little, would bb-8 suffer consequences? he didn't want to. he didn't want to have to pick things like "make me go blind" or "make me forget all my friends." he couldn't even wire his brain to think that way. he didn't want to. all he knows is black and white. choosing the most drastic option at all times. (it was going to end this way anyway. maybe he could speed the process along.) ]

My life, then. Kill me. Just get it over with. You're gonna have all the information you need when you're done with BB-8. You don't actually need me for anything. Do it. Send him back to the Resistance so they can know what happened. It'll crush their spirits, just like you want.

[ Kylo huffs out a breath, lightly crossing her arms over her chest. His life, really? That was no fun. She wants to chide that he's not terribly good at playing this game but that would be showing more of her cards than she cared to. ]

You're the only one who wants it 'over with'. To be put out of your misery. [ Which she could do but again, no fun for her.

She narrows her eyes at him slightly but she's not really looking 'at' him, more browsing those surface emotions and fragments of thought. There's nothing particularly of interest to her and she blinks, eyes refocusing on him properly. His answer didn't satisfy her, however now that the idea to send the droid back with a message has been placed in her head she's warmed to it. Yes, that would make the most use of it, much more than outright destruction or reprogramming.

One thing he said does hold her attention though, and she gives voice to it as the shuttle lands on the Supremacy. ]

What makes you think the reason you're alive is so I can take information on the Resistance from you? Because you're right, the droid can supply much more detailed and concise information than your mind can.

[ he's not good at playing this game! what part of him says "poe dameron: torture expert extraordinaire"? his solution to his problems is blowing them up. right now he's just trying to blow up himself as a solution. it's not a good solution, but it's the one he's got.

his eyes shift around, confused. why else would she want him? he never took the time to think about anything else, when what was so obvious to him was just sitting there in plain sight.

you can almost actually see the gears turning. ]

The other thing. Morale. You want to crush their hope by taking out their best pilot.

[ She's surprisingly patient as she looks at him, watches him try to figure out her motivations. Ah, those simple-minded followers of the light. They can't see the trees for the forest sometimes. Kylo supposes she can't blame him. No doubt they were all trained to focus on the war, on the cause above all else. Not all that different from part of the conditioning process for the stormtroopers, really.

A brow arches when his reply comes. It's not wrong, but only a part of her reasoning. ]

Dealing a blow to morale is a good reason, I'll give you that.

[ The shuttle door opens and she lightly pats his cheek before standing. ] Don't hurt yourself thinking too hard. You'll figure it out sooner or later. [ Even if only because at a point there would be no pretense, no coy games. Just the two of them and her twisted, devious mind. ]

[ his confusion takes a hard left turn into anger. surprisingly, he doesn't like being talked down to like a child. but he also ... doesn't have any better ideas.

being left alone, unrestrained, he tries to release his pent-up anger in one of his favorite ways: trashing inanimate objects. but given that there's not really anything to trash, he settles for violently kicking the interrogation rack a few times before settling back down into wallowing. and trying to clean more blood off his face.

at least he saved bb-8. he could hold on to that. hope as fragile as a dandelion in a dust storm. but it meant something that he had it at all. ]

[ When Kylo steps off the shuttle there's a few officers and stormtroopers waiting for her command. The senior officer she instructs to monitor the progress being made with the droid, and to inform her when all the data was gathered. They wouldn't be destroying it after all, but sending it back to the Resistance with a little gift, a holo that she yet needed to record.

Actually, she would probably work on that while the troopers and one of the officers took her prisoner to one of the ship's medical bays, which is the next round of instructions she gives out. She wanted him tended to and patched up, a nice clean slate for her to work with. While there, she would have the staff complete a full work-up, in case there were any nasty medical secrets lurking beneath the surface. She didn't expect any, given his military position, but she wasn't going to trust whatever New Republic or Resistance records she could have dug up. Once done at medical, they were to bring Poe, restrained, to the throne room.

The sound of him letting out some of his frustration doesn't so much as cause her to pause in giving orders. But once she's done she turns, directing her voice back in Poe's direction. ]

Dameron... [ The Force is back in her voice, enough of it that calling his name will demand attention in a way near impossible for him to ignore. ] Get out here. Don't keep me waiting.

[ Once she can see him it's his turn to receive orders, as she keeps that same tone enhanced with her power. If he disliked obeying her little command on the shuttle, he would really hate this. ] You're going to go with these troopers to the med bay. You will behave yourself and answer any questions from the medical staff honestly. Am I understood?

[ he can feel her words pulling at him again, forcing him back into motion towards the place where he'd least like to be. any fight against her command is mental, the force pulling him along as easily and naturally as if he were in control of his own actions. he rushes out to meet her, even. actually rushes.

he knows what she's doing with the words before it actually sets in. first hearing, then feeling. go with the troopers to the med bay. behave. answer questions honestly.

as much as he tries to fight against it (by trying to run or cause a scene, anything he can think of that equates to some sort of struggle), he can't. the orders are locked in. he could misbehave just as easily as he could start walking on the ceiling. i.e., not at all. (that feeling when you're actually ella enchanted?) ]

Yes.

[ so much salt and bitterness contained inside a single word. ]

[ Kylo doesn't even try not to grin, borderline smirking as watching him obey fills her with smug contentment. Oh yes, this particular ability would see plenty of use. Part of her is already thinking ahead, wondering how far she can push him or how little of her power she can use before his willpower is able to overrule a command.

After all, even though he hadn't been able to keep her from what she wanted the first time she was in his mind, she certainly wouldn't call him weak-minded. Without aid of the Force, virtually everyone succumbed to such an ability in the end. Even with aid of the Force it couldn't always be resisted. Though she doubted that was knowledge he would take comfort in. ]

Good. [ The power leaves her voice, but not before that single word. She wants to see if the simple praise makes him uncomfortable. ] It's so nice to see that even the most rebellious can be brought to heel. [ That remark is for their audience, however after she steps in close, lowering her voice for only the two of them. It's tempting to touch him, just to cause that much more unease in him, but she refrains. ] Perhaps after I've broken you in a little I'll send whatever's left of the Resistance a holo showing them just what's become of their revered pilot.

[ She steps back and out of the way then, gesturing for all present to tend to their respective orders. There's plenty to be done but Kylo lingers, eyes following Poe just to make sure her orders had the desired effect. ]

[ the praise is like her trying to gently touch his face in verbal form — it feels good, but his mind is screaming that it shouldn't. that it's wrong.

and then color drains from his face. now that bb-8 is, as far as he knows, safe, he has nothing to hide behind. not bb-8, not the resistance. just the worry (worry? fear) for himself and his own fate. he tries to shove it down, tries to stay angry instead. if he holds on to that emotion, it's enough of a livewire that he won't need anything else. ]

You won't break me.

[ that's all he says before he's carted off, unable to do anything besides glance back at kylo with indignation one last time. ]

i tried to keep bb-8 out all all the other threads to protect him but i couldn't here weeps

i am so so sorry for this ;_; at least it's not *as* evil as it could be

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i am so so sorry for this ;_; at least it's not as evil as it could be